I got inspired (by the roleplay with that user on Dear Evan Hansen Amino) again, whoops. O_O

I apologize for the length of this one but there's a lot of context in various scenes.

Connor's POV

Wow, apparently, I can go from: I don't have a crush on him, to: Holy fuck, I totally have a crush on him in a couple of hours.

I have a crush on Evan Hansen. EVAN HANSEN. Of all the fucking people in the world! It's Evan fucking Hansen. The kid whose cast I signed, my Soulmate. My.. Soulmate. That has to have something to do with it, it has to.

Holy fuck, Michael and his boyfriend were fucking correct. I'm a fucking oblivious ass.

I stared at my house's door. It was only for second, and the smile was still plastered to my face with no sign of going away. I opened my door, but instead of heading straight my room, I actually went to the dining table and sat with my head on my arms. Stubbornly, my smile refused to leave my face. My unusual behaviour caused my mother, Cynthia, to walk into the dining room. "You... aren't going to your room...?" She questioned. "And... what's with that smile?" Cynthia narrowed her gaze and looked at me with a suspicious expression. My mother then crossed her arms. "Did you do something at school I should be worried about Connor?"

"I didn't do anything bad," I replied, frowning with my eyes narrowing. "Is that always what you're going to assume if I come home smiling?" Suddenly feeling heat rise to my cheeks, I dropped my gaze to the table, smiling again. "No.. it wasn't bad at all.." I looked at the wall as my smile widened as I thought about my day. "It's nothing you should be worried about.." Evan appeared in my mind then.... those wide eyes, adorable smile and cute giggle.

"Aha!" The tone on my sister's voice made my blood turn cold and I knew immediately that I'd been found out. "I know that look anywhere!" I could hear the smirk forming in her voice. "He's got a cruuuush~!" I cringed. I immediately sat up in my seat.

Cynthia's eyes filled with excitement. Fuck. My mother turned to look at me. "You do?!" She asked. "Oh Connor, that's amazing! Is it your Soulmate? What are they like?" She sat across from me and I felt like cringing. This is exactly the thing I was trying to avoid. "Tell me!"

I attempted to lie. "I... I don't have a crush! What the fuck are you getting at? S-Soulmates? T-They're fucking bogus aren't they? Ha ha ha? I don't have one... I don't believe in S-Soulmates! Ha ha..." Zoe and Cynthia then moved with a unity I'd never achieve.

"Please, Connor. Stuttering? Smiling? Sarcastic laughter? Either you definitely have a crush and they're your Soulmate or you're just being stupid."

"I- I- I..." I sighed. There's no point in trying to lie to them. I took a breath before I confessed," I-It's Hansen..." Instantly, my hands found my face as a flush of embarrassment crossed it.  "I- I walked him home today... that's w-why I was late."

Cynthia stood up from her seat, an excited expression on her face. "Oh, Connor you should let us meet-"

Zoe cut our mother off. "Wait, EVAN Hansen? You mean the kid with the cast who stutters a lot?" Gee Zoe, make me feel more fucking embarrassed, why don't ya? "The kid with anxiety? You like HIM? Holy shit Connor, you DO have a heart!" I let out a groan.

"S-shut up..." I was glaring but my eyes were still hidden by my hands. "I'm really f-fucking embarrassed right now. E-Evan can p-probably feel it... w-wait, he c-can't sense my attraction to him, c-correct?" I removed my hands. "P-please tell me h-he can't..!"

"He'd be able to feel an attraction to you in return or he'd just be lonely when you aren't around. Don't be shocked if he tries to text you." My mother's excited grin had mellowed to a simple smile.

"W-we never exchanged phone numbers," I said feeling my embarrassment start to wane. "How c-could he text me? S-so I won't have to w-worry about it?"

"I meant when you GET his number."

~~~

The next week, Evan and I were sitting in the cafeteria at the same table we'd sat at together before. My head was in my hands, hiding my blush. It was those goddamn rumours again. "Uh.. C-Connor..?" That's when I realized Evan was speaking. His fingers brushed my hand almost as if he had wanted to take it but then decided against it. "...Can we... Can we talk..? J-just for a moment? Please?"

I revealed my face, my cheeks a blazing red. I stared at the table and my fingers started tapping on it. "Yeah.. sure, go ahead." I was afraid of what Evan was actually going to talk about. Numerous rumours stated that I was in love with him. I did like him, but I hardly thought my mere crush could be counted as 'love'. In addition to that, I thought my feelings for him would disappear after a few weeks. My tapping increased its velocity. Evan didn't speak for a bit, but then took my hand, causing my already very obvious blush to darken even more.

"...I-Is everyone right...?" The question was whispered and Evan avoided my gaze. His hand gripped mine, softly though I could feel the sweat starting to form on his hand. I saw that Evan's cheeks were flushed pink, though I didn't know why exactly.

I didn't answer. I wasn't sure what rumour he was actually referring to but I was mainly focusing on the fact: Evan Hansen is holding my fucking hand. God, I sound like a girl. Suddenly I felt guilty, what if he's referring to that rumour? Is he going to reject me? I didn't know what to answer.

Evan spoke again,"...C-Connor... um... is it... is it me..?" He looked at me, our gazes finally meeting. His round eyes that I liked so much. "...I-I mean uh... We... um, you know that... that... we're Soulmates.. right? You said you know who it is.. and... and I know that... that.. you're mine..."

I felt a wave of relief crash over me. "Yes, I know it's you," I answered, my smile becoming that soft, dopey kind. "Sorry if you're upset that you're stuck with me though. I know I wasn't the most friendliest when we met." I let out a little laugh. "But, apparently, it was intended by fate or some shit like that that we met formally."

That statement made Evan squeeze my hand tighter. "I was scared that... that you wouldn't want me as your S-Soulmate.. That you were upset that you h-had to deal with me..." Evan's face scrunched up as if he was about to burst into tears. "B-Because.. because I'm uh, I can be really annoying..."

I placed my free hand upon his shoulder. "You're not annoying Ev," my voice came out soft, "at least... I don't think you are." I looked away with a soft smile. Evan gave me a small nod and I felt the pressure on my hand increase.

"..Uh... Do.. Do you think uh, you'd wanna.. maybe hang out? I know this really cool ice cream place..." He suggested.

"I mean... sure!" I'd realized I'd been staring at him so I blinked. "If- If you want to take me there! I-I won't mind." I cursed myself for the stammer again and let out a little laugh. I heard murmurs from the tables surrounding us.

Evan noticed and immediately removed his hand. "S-Sorry... was.. was that too much?" His eyes fell to the table. "I'm sorry."

"No, not at all, Ev," I said, grinning uncharacteristically and taking his hand again. "No need to be sorry, I'm not bothered. But if you do want, I'll be glad to go to the ice cream place... with you." I let out an embarrassed laugh again and looked at the table.

"Y-Yeah!" said Evan, now nodding his head enthusiastically. "That'd be awesome!" There's that adorable giggle again.. Evan's pink cheeks darkened. "It'll be fun to get to know you better!"

"I feel the same way! About... the uh getting to know you better." I felt myself blush.

~~~

When school was over, I was waiting for Evan by this oak tree beside our school and I was looking up at its green leaves. Why is he so goddamn cute? I thought to myself, now smiling.

"Hey!" I turned my head when I heard my Soulmate's voice. Evan had a smile on his face I'd never thought I'd see on him in the short time we'd known each other officially. It looked excited. I smiled.

"Hey Ev!" I waved. "Over here! By the tree!" I gestured toward the oak to show him. I blushed a bit after seeing that smile. Evan practically bolted towards me, nearly tripping three times. When he reached me, he smiled.

"H-Hi! Uh.." he let out a little giggle. "Sorry, I got excited to see you-" He cut himself off and started blushing. "I mean... I mean.... N-No I didn't..." I chuckled.

"I can see that," I agreed, amused. "So, this place you mentioned. You're going to have to tell me where it is, as I have no clue. Do you think you can do that?" I shifted a bit with nerves, my gaze looking at the ground.

"M-mhm," he answered with a nod. "It's right around here! Are you willing to walk?" Evan was just smiling.

"Walking is probably the thing I do most. When I'm feeling down I sometimes go for a walk. God, that sounds depressing, sorry." I was merely looking at Evan, smiling widely. "But yeah, I'm okay with walking. If anything else, it's at least exercise," I shrugged. "So I'm not really bothered."

Evan blushed again and hesitated in taking my hand before we started walking. "Uh... is this too much? Should I uh... let go? I'm sorry- it's too much, isn't it-?" He released my hand. I took his hand again, but remained silent. It was a sort of quiet You can hold my hand Evan. I was smiling as we walked, taking in the scenery of various different bushes, hedges and trees as we passed some houses. That's when something struck me:

Wait, this isn't a date... right? Evan didn't ask me out on a date... did he? He did say hang out... but I have a- no, I'm overthinking this, it's not a date. It's a hang out.

I gazed at Evan with a smile briefly though, after that. We walked for a bit more, with Evan looking at the ground. Soon a building came into view. "Is that it?" I asked, pointing at said building. "I mean, you did say it was around here... so..." I looked at him. Wait a minute. Our fingers are intertwined. I ripped my gaze away from him to observe the building, blushing.

"Mhm.." Evan confirmed. The building was a bit on the small side and looked like it'd just been ripped from a farming town, what with the picnic tables and flower beds surrounding them. As we walked closer I could make out the  name of the ice cream place on a sign:

Á La Mode.

"Cute place," I commented as we reached the seating area. "So, should we get a table?" I walked closer to one of the flower beds and looked at it. This particular flower bed had red roses growing on it and they made me smile a bit. I walked over to one of the tables and sat down, Evan following suit. We ordered and then waited for it. When it arrived, I started eating mine. "So..." I began but I wasn't entirely sure how to end it. "Um..." I just started eating my ice cream again.

"Uh.." Evan said, starting to stir his ice cream. "S-So... a-about what Jared said.. I'm sorry. It's my fault that he... well.... teased us like that.. I'm sorry." Jared had teased Evan and by extension, me, about Soulmates asking Evan without actually caring about Soulmates at all.

"Hey, I'm not bothered," I replied. "I'm aware there are rumours spreading like wildfire. But right now I'm just happy being here... with you." I blinked and then blushed. "That's... such a weird thing to say! I'm so sorry if that sounded odd." God, I sound like him. I looked at the table with embarrassment.

"N-No, I don't mind! It was really... nice, actually... I... really think you're c-cool.. people just don't like when someone is different. So, they give out labels to make themselves feel better. L-like how I'm just called 'Shy Kid'!" He said, eating some of his ice cream, smiling slightly.

"Heh," I snickered. "I've been called things like 'Stoner' or 'Loner' before so. Sometimes both at the same time! And according to rumours apparently I'm likened to a vampire sometimes," I stated, laughing a bit I took a scoop of my ice cream. "I'm not a vampire. They don't even exist." I ate the ice cream.

"Well yeah, but some people think they exist. Just like how people think the Slenderman is real, or something." Evan paused to eat some ice cream. Then, his eyes lit up. "You should dress as a vampire on Halloween!" I let out a loud, genuine laugh.

"Yes! I totally should!" I agreed instantly. "Imagine what their reactions would be! Connor Murphy IS a vampire? Dun, dun, dun!" I couldn't even remember the last time I'd cracked a joke or laughed this much. There was something just so cute in Evan being genuinely happy. Or maybe it was the fact he'd just giggled again.

"You know, you're really funny," Evan pointed out, still wearing that happy grin on his face. "I... think you're really cool! Hm... what if I went as another vampire? Or maybe... ooh, I should... hm."

I smiled myself. "Thank you. Maybe you could go as..." I trailed off, coming up with nothing. "Well, what are you interested in? As maybe you could go as something from something that you're interested in?" I suggested. "Like a TV show character for example?"

"Oh... maybe I could wear those Hufflepuff robes my mom bought me last year... I never w-wore them... but I might still fit..!"

"Why are you so cute?" I said aloud to myself. I returned my gaze to Evan. "So, you're a Hufflepuff, eh? I'd like to see you in those robes sometime if that'd be okay with you." I blinked. "I didn't mean for that to sound weird!" I added on quickly. "But I'm sorry if it did."

"N-No! No, it's okay..!" Evan looked at the table. "Um.. wh-what about you? What's your house?" Evan looked up, tilting his head slightly and taking a bite of his ice cream.

"I haven't really taken the test, if I'm honest. But, according to my sister, probably Slytherin." I shrugged. "Honestly don't know what makes her think that." Wait a minute, I never told her that I wouldn't be going home with her today. Nah, it's fine. I don't want to be teased anyway. "Do you think I'd be something other than a Slytherin though? Though, Slytherin would probably fit me the most if I'm honest."

"I can see you as Gryffindor. We could go as our Hogwarts houses... but we could go as vampires too?"

"So like- Wait, have you read all the books?" I cut myself off before I could accidentally spoil something. Harry Potter was a guilty pleasure. I know, I'm Connor Murphy, I'm that brooding, hoodie-wearing kid who smokes weed and I like Harry Potter. Suddenly, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket but I ignored it. "So like... vampiric wizards? Like we were wizards that were turned into vampires?" I looked at him. "And now we can do magic and feed off blood?"

"Yeah, I read everything except for the Cursed Child... I tried to read it, but it... wasn't the original. And yeah, that was my idea. I like it." Evan looked proud and it made my smile widen. My gaze fell to my ice cream and I ate some more.

"This is nice," I said. "It's quiet and peaceful. Well, in contrast to school. It's.. cool, being here, with you." When I felt myself blush, I looked away briefly.

"It's nice... nobody really comes here because they think it's boring. Which makes it a great place to sit down and read or write songs- er," Evan started blushing," to read... j-just... just read." Evan started fidgeting.

"You read songs? What kind of music do you like?" I found myself genuinely interested in Evan's music taste. My phone buzzed again, and again, I ignored it. "Because I'm curious to find out what music you like." Evan then told me what kind of music he liked. "With mine... uh, I guess you could call me emo for this but uh... I like Green Day and Linkin Park," my voice squeaked and then I hid my face behind my hands. "I just relate to some of the songs."

"I like Linkin Park.." said Evan causing me to look at him in amazement. You like that? "Some of their music is nice. I think my favourite band, though, is always... well... Don't think I'm crazy, okay? But... I really like Three Days Grace..."

"Woah, really?" Was all I spoke, amazement drenching the sentence. "I didn't expect you to like that kind of stuff, Ev. I was here thinking you'd like Disney or Taylor Swift or something. But that's awesome. We have a few of the same interests! Isn't that cool?!" Excitement was clear on my face.

Our hang out continued for a few more hours, until closing time for Á La Mode. I turned to Evan. "This was fun." I blushed at the ground. "It was fun to hang out with you, Ev."

"Y-you too..." Evan hugged me, causing a blush to erupt on my face. I then hugged back.

"I'll see you tomorrow? At lunch? Same table?"

"Y-yeah.." Evan nodded. "I'll see you around..." he turned to walk off to his home.

"See you!" I said with a wave before heading to my house.

Again, I apologize for the length but I wanted to include the entire 'hang out'.

Irish_Bean_QwQ