"We were happy," she says
From the other side of the screen
Casually, very slightly intoned
With contempt and distrust
"We were a happy family,"
My mother repeats again
"Until you broke it all apart."
And I laugh
Otherwise I might cry
And I don't want to cry
"You caused us so much sadness,"
She says again, jokingly
But almost accusingly
I laugh again,
My eyes appearing hollow on the screen
My smile is so fake
But I put up one anyway
"You hurt your dad," she says
"Right," I whisper
There's silence on either side
She is running out of blames
I'm running out of smiles
"I did nothing wrong,"
I said finally
With a deep sigh like a hollow
Only if it could suck me deep down
Never to return
Because when you've been
'An obedient daughter' all your life
Taking control of your life for once
Seems like a rebellion
"You have a defying attitude always,"
My dad had said that day
Before he cut the call
And if being twenty two
And taking my life descisions for once
Is being defying to my parents
Then I guess that's it
The cold war can continue
"We were happy, so happy,"
My mom says again the next day
"He asks about you" she whispers
As if it's a secret
I nod, still unable to fathom
How difficult it is
To pick up the phone
And press the green button
Well, to be honest, it is
I haven't gotten the courage to press it yet
Maybe someday
And hopefully it won't be too late
Love can be buried by ego
Defiance is born from control
And the loss of control can crush
I'm learning some new things
I've never learnt till this day
"We were happy and you broke us"
"No, for once in twenty two years
I was happy and you broke me
For putting myself first"
I whisper to the dark screen
After I cut the call