Chapter 35

       Spending time with Orchid during the summer was actually a hard thing to do. There were times where we just wanted to go to each other's houses to hang out but that was a very difficult thing to do since both our dads were stubborn human beings.

       The best thing for us to do was go to each other's houses when our dads were at work. Otherwise, we had to deal with the constant baby attitude they had.

       And when they were both at home, it was easier to spend time at Orchid's house than mine. There were less people at my house, meaning my dad was able to focus on me more.

       Grayson never vocalized his hatred for me when I was around anyway so I didn't have to deal with that. He just chose to ignore me instead. I was okay with that.

       Things were, hopefully, going to be a lot easier when school started. That way, Orchid and I could hang out on campus all we wanted, and because I was also trying to look for my own apartment right now. Then my dad wouldn't have any say of Orchid coming over.

       Not that he did anyway. He just complained but Mom and Athena told him to suck it up and deal with it. Evelyn, unfortunately, always sided with Dad and it made me want to flush her favourite things down the toilet.

       "Is it weird that I already feel like I'm falling behind in all of my classes?" Orchid asked.

       I furrowed my eyebrows and looked over at Orchid, who was sitting at her desk on her computer. "Uh, yeah, I'd have to say that it weird considering, you know, we haven't even started class yet. Why do you feel like you're falling behind?"

       "Because I'm looking at the reviews for one of my professors and basically everyone says that he's a difficult marker and there are a lot of stuff on tests that he doesn't even teach us," Orchid said. 

       "I'm pretty sure that's just a general teacher thing," I said. "To add stuff to tests that haven't even been taught."

       "Probably," Orchid said as she got off of the computer chair and sat down beside me on my bed. "Oh well. If I fail, I'll just blame Alan."

       "Why?" I asked. "Do you have that class together?"

       "Nope," Orchid said. "I just blame Alan for everything."

       "Fair enough," I said. "I blame Evelyn for everything. Then again, she's a lot more annoying than Alan. Like a lot."

       "I don't know, Alan is pretty annoying," Orchid said.

       "Evelyn once broke my violin bow just because I was practising for over ten minutes. And trust me, one thing you should never do to a musician is break their instruments."

       "Damn, that's just cruel," Orchid said. "I'm not a musician and even I can feel how much that would have angered you. Now I can see why you'd rather hang out here hang out here than at your house. Here, you just have to deal with my dad."

       "And your dad isn't even that bad," I said. "He just ignores me."

       "He'll get over it eventually," Orchid said. "At least he doesn't ban you from coming over. Well, he did try to do that but my mom threatened to make him sleep on the couch if he didn't let you come over."

       "My mom said the exact same thing," I said. "At least our moms are being sensible with this. I just wished my dad would get over it..."

       I didn't mean to sound upset when I said that last sentence but I did so Orchid scooted closer to me and gently held my hand. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

       "Yeah, of course it is," I said. "Why do you ask?"

       "Because I know you," Orchid said. "I know you'd rather not show that you're upset or something when you clearly are."

        I sighed. Orchid didn't know about my condition. I never told her. I wanted to but I was afraid to. A lot of people didn't understand it and just thought I was using it as an excuse to act like a cold human being.

       I wasn't acting like anything. It was just difficult for me to express myself. I didn't see why people couldn't understand that was a real thing.

       "It's not that I'd rather not show that I'm upset or anything like that," I said. "It's just..." I rubbed my forehead. "It's complicated. Extremely complicated."

       "You do know you can tell me anything, right?" Orchid said. "I'll always be here when you need it."

       I knew she would be but it was still a hard thing to talk about. I didn't even like talking about it. 

       "I know," I said. "And you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. It's just a complicated thing but nothing to worry about."

       "Okay," Orchid said and honestly, I was very grateful she wasn't trying to push me into telling her what was wrong. Some people would if I told them it was complicated but Orchid was ready to just drop the conversation after seeing I didn't want to talk about it.

       It was one of the many things I loved about her.

       And I still didn't know how to tell her. Part of me was afraid to tell her. Afraid that she didn't feel the same way. The other part of me still didn't know exactly how to tell her. Saying those three words weren't as simple for me as it could have been for everyone else.

       At least I didn't feel like I was in a rush to tell Orchid. We were just enjoying our relationship and living in the moment. I never felt like things were moving too fast for us and that was exactly what I needed; for things to move slowly. Even though I've liked Orchid for years, there were a lot of things I wasn't ready for.

       And I didn't know how long it would take for me to be ready for them.

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i am soooooo sorry for the long wait for the update. feel free to sue me if you want to :(

i'll try my hardest to not go eight months again without updating. this isn't even one of my books that i struggle with writing so idk why it took me so long to update. but thank you for everyone who was sending me reminders/requests to update. it finally made me do it.