Chapter 37

       If there was one thing that was weird about me, it had to be the fact that I never got nervous before an orchestra concert or a play. It could also be my lack of emotions that made it hard for me to get nervous.

      I knew I wasn't the only person to never get nervous but right now as I was backstage waiting for the concert to begin, I was one of the very few people to either not be nervous or not show my nerves.

       A lot of people were doing the pre-show ritual right now while I was just lying on the floor, watching the chaos happen.

       "Atticus Smythe!" the conductor suddenly said. "Get off of the floor! You're going to get your suit dirty!"

       "Then the floor should be cleaned more often," I said. 

       Someone who also played violin in the orchestra, Thea, laughed at my comment, causing the conductor to give her a sharp glare. The conductor looked at me once again. "Get up. Go sit on one of the chairs if you want to relax."

       I sighed, hoisting myself off of the floor before sitting in a chair beside Thea. It wasn't my fault that I was extremely bored and would rather lie on the floor, but no, I couldn't get my suit all dirty.

       Maybe the floor backstage and on stage should be cleaned more often then so the conductor wouldn't have to worry about me, or anyone, getting dirty.

       "I'm surprised you haven't been kicked out of the orchestra yet for all the sass you give him," Thea said. "Or at the very least, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten any grey hair from you."

       I shrugged. "It's his fault his rules are so strict."

       The conductor was still nearby when I said that, so I was the one who got a glare from his this time. "I would have kicked you out if you weren't as talented as you were. And since you don't really cause any problems, there's no reason to do so."

       "So what I'm hearing is I should start causing more problems," I said.

       "Are you trying to cause problems?"

       "No, sir."

       "Then watch it." He walked off this time, either to check on the other members or to get away from me. Probably both.

       "You're a brave man, Smythe," Thea said.

       "What are you talking about?" I asked. "You give him as much sass as I give him."

       "Some sass. Not a lot."

       "Fair enough."

       "So got anyone watching the concert?"

       "Yeah. My whole family is coming. Oh, and my girlfriend too. Though, I'm surprised she wants to since I just invited her last night..."

       Thea gave me a flat look. "Seriously? I hope she dumps your ass."

       "That's harsh."

       "I'm kidding. Why'd you invite so late, though? If I had a girlfriend, I'd invite her the moment I find out the date for the concert."

       I sighed. "Yeah, that's fair. Look, she's my first girlfriend and at times, I'm not sure how to act." Plus, there was the whole me having alexithymia but that wasn't as easy to say as Orchid being my first girlfriend.

       Not too mention I had been so hopelessly in love with her since our families went on vacation together to the ski lodge back when we were kids. 

       "Fair enough," Thea said. "But I'm going to become friends with her after this and if I ever find out you don't treat her right, you're going to be added to the list of men that we mean when we say 'kill all men'."

       "Noted."

       "How aren't you too nervous for tonight?" one of the flutists, Alfie, asked in a whiny voice, holding his stomach. "I feel like I'm going to hurl every time I think about going on stage."

       "Then don't think about going on stage," Thea said.

       Alfie laughed sarcastically. "Oh, wow, I think I thought about that. You're a genius."

       "What?" Thea asked, genuinely confused as to why Alfie didn't think it was good advice. "That's how I calm my nerves. I just talk to my fellow musicians or something to distract myself from the nerves."

       "That doesn't work for me," Alfie said. "I know I'm distracting myself from my nerves, which only makes me think about my nerves, thus my stomach ache." He looked at me. "How about you?"

       "Oh, I don't get nervous," I said.

       "You liar," Alfie said. "Everyone gets nervous."

       "Not me. At least not before a performance. What's the point of getting nervous?"

       "Uh, there are a lot of reasons. What if I barf onstage? Or barf on someone? Or barf on myself?"

       "I can see you really think you're going to barf," Thea said. "So do what I do."

       "If you say 'don't barf', I'm no longer going to be friends with you."

       "Oh, shut up. I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say just barf now and get it over with. I always feel better after I barf."

       "Can you please stop talking about barfing?" one of the cellists, Anita, asked. "I don't need to hear about something so disgusting right before the show."

       "I sure hope you never throw up if you think it's so disgusting," I said.

       Anita scoffed and rolled her eyes before turning her attention away from the three of us. Good. She was annoying.

       It wasn't long before the concert started and when it did, I scanned the crowd for my family and Orchid. It didn't take me long to find them; they were in the second row. Wilder always insisted on coming as early as they could to get the best seats.

       Orchid saw me looking at them so she smiled and gave me a small wave. The conductor always told us not to wave at people when we were on the stage; we could smile all we want but no waving. I still smiled back at Orchid.

       The concert went very smoothly. No major mistakes were mad. The only mistake that was made was the conductor letting Anita in the orchestra, but that was another story.

       After the concert was over, I went to go see my family and Orchid. Orchid was the first one to give me a hug. "You were amazing," she said. 

       "Thank you," I said, hugging her back. "And thank you for coming."

       "Yeah, of course," Orchid said. "I'll always want to go to any performance you have."

       I smiled at my girlfriend. She seriously was the best. Now I just had to figure out how to tell her about my alexithymia. I knew she would still support me and try her best to understand it. That didn't mean it was going to be easy for me to tell her.

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I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK MORE THAN A YEAR TO UPDATE. I WAS ACTUALLY SHOCKED WHEN I FOUND OUT THE LAST UPDATE WAS JUNE 2019!

I PROMISE THE NEXT CHAPTER WON'T TAKE THAT LONG. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO WRITE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.

but anyway, stan thea. i love thea <3 i figured i had to add her, alfie, and (ugh) anita to the og storyline