I might be taking a break from Wattpad and maybe RP as a whole. In my personal life I've been struggling a lot with my anxiety and with people who I was meant to be friends with. People just ignoring me and making me feel very isolated.

It's not something that I'm new to, it's something that's happened a lot throughout my life and I do wonder why people just stop talking to me. Perhaps I'm just annoying, and people say that about me behind my back and I apologise on here, to anyone reading this if I've annoyed you at all.

On here it's quite different though- I aimed to use this as my escapism, as a way to make friends but it would seem that even here people just grow bored with me and stop talking to me. Of course this changes both on here and in my real life- when there is no one else for them to talk to. Then I'm one of their best friends and they 'missed having me around' or they 'didn't mean to'/'I /honestly/ didn't realise!' or they 'were worried and assumed I needed space'

Just a hint for you guys: If you don't think someone is doing okay, fucking ask them. Take them to one side, or send them a message, just ask them is they're okay.  Because none of my friends could be bothered.

I'm trying my best to be a good friend and  doing my best to keep going through college but it's really hard when both on here and in my real life- people just cannot be bothered with me. It's really fucking lonely. It'll change for a second- when something really bad happens, and then people will just go back to ignoring me and it was all pointless.

On here- it feels as if I have to really bug someone to get a response, retagging anywhere between 1-7 times over the span of what is usually a month. It feels like I really have to push people to get any kind of response yet they are fine with talking to anyone else, they respond within hours to other people and I feel really crap because I feel like I'm being a nuisance by retagging and that kind of thing. So maybe I shouldn't. I'm can't think of an RP on here that's actually active anymore that I'm in- because I retag and then no response for months.

If you don't want to RP with me or talk to me anymore- please just tell me instead of ignoring me and hoping I'll just go away. If you tell me I'll feel less shit about it. But I don't want to hear 'I didn't mean to I swear' or 'oh I didn't mean to!' Don't lie about it just tell me if you want to drop an RP thread with me or if you just don't want to talk to me anymore.

This isn't written to get attention, it's just a way for me to vent and to write what I'm feeling.