The body was cold and stiff. 

My mind numb with pain and shock. 

I was disconnected. 

I couldn't think 

I couldn't feel anything but pain. 

The blood cold and wet, staining my hands. 

His ebony hair matted with grime, filth, and blood. 

His skin pale with death, white as a sheet in the weak starlight.

For even the moon didn't want to show her face in this misery.

There were cuts and scrapes on my body, yet I didn't feel them

I only had eyes for him.

there was a monster within me, 

screaming bloody murder. 

I almost laughed at the irony

Coldness enveloped me in a thick dark cloud

There was a hole in his chest. 

A bullet hole

I felt a terrifying emptiness in me.

A gaping hole where there once was life

They asked me if I was okay,

they sounded a million miles away.

Or as though I was underwater. 

I sure felt like it. 

I was drowning, 

and the worst part was,

that no one could see it

no one would ever see it,

He would've seen it

But I responded anyway,

I'm fine, was my monotone reply. 

fine, not okay, the demon in my mind whispered.

They were rightfully unconvinced

But there was nothing they could do.

Too late

He was too far gone when they got here. 

Not soon enough

I remembered him when he was alive

He had always been there for me. 

his personality unrivaled by any other.

he made others smile,

Never again

he made people laugh without trying

Nevermore

he was my anchor in the storm

Lost to sea

the light to my shadow,

Faded light

the joy to my sadness

given way to shadow

There was no way to break our bond. 

But death had somehow managed.

he had always been ready to defend me

But where was he now?

he had never gone too far.

I'd say death is too far

he was there when I woke up screaming. 

Where are you now?

he was there when he found me crying in my room at midnight. 

it's midnight, where are you?

he offered help when I needed it most. 

Where did you go?

he offered comfort when I was more shattered than usual.

I need you

he knew when to back off.

Please don't leave me

he knew when I needed him.

I need you now

he knew when I didn't.

This isn't that time

he knew how to make my lips curve upwards when tears were on them

Where are you?

but he wasn't here now. 

Never again

he wasn't here, next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. 

And he never will be.

He wasn't whispering that everything would be okay. 

Because it never would be again

He was my everything. 

What do I have now? 

He was my brother.

A/N: I woke up in tears. T^T THE END