She has always been the anchor that holds people in place; a rock that others could lean on during harsh times. Little did her friends and family know that she herself needed an anchor every once and a while. She had had one months ago, although it seems like forever. Someone who she loved and could depend on; someone who would listen when she needed to vent. He was always there when she had a bad day and the rain just would not stop pouring from the gloomy clouds. She could tell him anything and he would never tell a soul, and he always encouraged her to do her best. He truly brought out the best in her. However that al changed one day... The day her life got flipped upside down and her world shattered into a million pieces, still not entirely put back together.

Most days she believes that she has moved on completely, never to look back on those moments spent with him. But unfortunately the memories still remain, even when she wishes they would disappear and never bother her again. She has a good life: a loving family, close and reliable friends, and incredible grades. Her grades have always been important to her, and as a grade 12 student they are even more crucial now. However achieving these grades is no simple task. She wakes up in the morning, goes to school from 9am to 3pm, goes home, does homework until 11:30pm (sometimes even later), and finally goes to bed; a process repeated every day. She spends her every hour of every weekend completing homework and studying for upcoming tests. Her friends all tease her about being addicted to school and never knowing how to relax and take a break, and it's true. School is all she has ever known... And it is the only thing she is good at. There are no sports teams that she is a part of, no stores or restaurants where she works, and no parties that she attends; school is her life.

It does not usually bother her that much, in fact she loves learning! However, there are days when the work becomes too much and the stress and anxiety that come with it become an unbearable weight to carry. But carry it she must, for there is so much pressure for her to do well, well enough to make her parents proud. Making her parents proud has been the goal of her entire life. Everything she has done up until this day has been to be a daughter that her parents are proud to call theirs. But sometimes it seems that nothing she does will be good enough because her elder sister has always been their pride and joy.

There are days when she feels utterly useless and a disappointment to everyone she knows, and these days are the worst. The days when she has no will to pull herself out of bed in the morning; when she does not feel the need to eat... The days when she simply does not feel worthy. She lays in her bed, wrapped in blankets and surrounded by pillows, and reflects on everything that she feels she has done wrong in her life, recent and old. She remembers all the great memories that she has created, but also the memories that hurt the most. The ones that make her think: "What would my life be like now if I had done this or that differently? Maybe I would still be close with this person. Maybe I could have gotten better grades."

It is days like these when she realizes that she is sick of it all. Sick and tired of  Life throwing her curveballs, and fed up with the constant storm that rages on inside her mind. It is as if she is stranded in a ditch, a ditch that most people could crawl out of and keep walking along the road of happiness. But whenever she seems to climb out of this mental ditch it is only a matter of days until she falls into another one, equally, if not more, deep than the previous. And it is a constant, vicious cycle. Everyone always tells her that in order to enjoy the sunshine you have to put up with the rain. Well she has had enough of the rain. Where is her sunshine? She has ridden this emotional rollercoaster long enough and she wants off.

Rarely does she share what goes on in her head with others. She has never been one who trusts other easily, and the last time she did... Well, it backfired on her and shattered everything into pieces. So she keeps everything to herself, bundling it all up until something or someone comes along and twists off the lid to the shaken bottle of pop. But she carries on with her life, continuing her schoolwork and hoping, praying, that one day she can step out of the final ditch and never look back. She no longer depends on others because she knows that the best person who she can depend on is herself. She was once her own anchor... And she is slowly working her way back to being her own anchor once again.

So every morning she wakes up and continues to be a rock that others can lean on during rough and stormy times, hiding the truth that she herself is slowly cracking.