I just went on a parish-wide retreat called "Steubenville West."

To be honest, even though I know some people might think it's all stupid and stuff, it really isn't. Seriously.

I have never been touched by something in my entire life, dudes! People humbling themselves in the presence of God, praying over our fabulous Youth Group leader (we love you, Sammie!), everyone in the freaking auditorium singing their hearts out, their arms up... It's not even funny how beautiful it was.

Now I'm contemplating something, which I'm becoming a bit more proud to share.

Let's start from where I got my calling, yeah?

Last night (Saturday, July 15) we had adoration. It felt a bit normal at first, since everyone was still diving into it, but then the priest (Let's go Father!! Woot!) mentioned that it's okay for people to cry. Just to mention, I cried just the day before since I realized how many Catholics there are like me.

After the whole talk, I was definitely touched by how on fire these people were for Christ. Especially with thousands of teens. That's why my mind basically blew up when the entire room went silent.

And, soon enough, I found myself crying already. Even when Jesus (the Monstrance) hadn't even left the table yet. I realized how lost I was.

I asked God why I've felt so rejected for the past few days, because seriously. Rejection sucks. And then I felt a little pissed off because "look at God. Is He even rejected by the world?"

Then I felt guilty. Unbelievably so.

If anything, Jesus is the most rejected man in the world. With how much he was shown love throughout his entire life before people suddenly became indifferent and persecuted him. People nowadays are dying because they love someone (aka, God, who's basically the only person who loves you no matter what). How terrible is that? 

I feel bad for being rejected a role or a friendship or a good grade and stuff, and yet, I somehow had the guts to say that Jesus didn't experience any of that himself. I felt like a butthole.

That's when I realized how lost I was. I felt like nobody understood how broken and ugly I felt, but then I saw that Jesus doesn't only understand me. He's literally carrying my pain on his back. He's carrying my pain with and for me.

So I started crying. Once I stared at the monstrance, I realized that God was truly present. It wasn't just bread or anything like that, but it was truly God.

I literally started bawling. I could hardly breathe and stuff, and I had full-out sobbing, especially when the priest stopped by our isle. Everyone had their arms outstretched, and I literally felt the breath knocked out of me.

Then I asked myself, "How could I ever say that this isn't beautiful?"

I can't explain how I felt. It was too beautiful for me to put into words.

I didn't realize it then, but I definitely wanted to do something more. It was almost physically hurting me how much I wanted to do something.

But today, during the end mass, the priest told the crowd that he wanted any young women who even considered becoming a religious sister to stand.

So then I knew that I was being called to be a nun.

I was totally like *kablooshk*

So I stood up, and when the father called us to the stage, everyone prayed over me and a bunch of the other girls.

As I said, rejection sucks, and right in that moment, I felt like I belonged.

Sooooo, yeah! That's my news! I feel like I'm being called to be a nun. Now, I don't know if I'm ready to make that commitment yet, so if you all could pray for me that would actually be really cool.

Love you!

XoXo,

Frankie