I was going to college, however I stopped because I can't take it. I can't seem to learn to write good at all, everything intimidated me. I was called smart but when I went into college I felt stupid, I went to college actually for my dad because he never completed it and I wanted to prove that I can do it but I just can't. Every night when I came home I did not have a good feeling at all, I felt as if I was horribly ill and I became depressed. and now it gets even worse when people ask about "How's college" and I am just on the other side of the screen biting my lip, eyes stinging and the unnatural tremors that I get inside of me and then they yell at me share gestures and I just feel like they are trying to control me. I understand it's just an option that I can go back to School some time in the future, but it's just not for me. My level of intelligence is like a glass bottle with water, college for me it the rubber mallet that taps the top to break the very bottom of the glass. I wanted to show that I am smart but it just backfires. On to looking for a job cause I just have to have one, and it is just pure stressful for me and I just can't figure out why. It gets so stressful when my dad just walks in when I am still doing applications to some job that I can do without messing up like I always do. Busser, Dishwasher and so on. If you have wondered why I have been upset for about a few Months Now, well now you know Nothing in life is perfect! I am smart...only in certain areas, I can't fix that completely only half and that half will be forgotten and I have to re learn it over and over and over and over again till I DIE. College is a Hell in a Headache that you just 'have' to go through..........................

I only wanted my dad to be proud of me....