The day passed into the night relatively easy and it was late when I decided to search for dinner.

The streets were cool, uninterrupted by the turmoil I was experiencing. I'd decided that there must be nothing between Cas and I for him not even to mention me about that. Nothing important at least. Nothing important to merit a conversation or even a warning. So if there was nothing between us, this was entirely a business arrangement.

So that when we finished the work we were doing, perhaps another few months or so, I'd return home.

Why wait? A part of me sneered, perhaps you should just leave right now.

I pondered that whilst waiting for my kebab. Maybe I should just leave right now and be done with it. I could barely look Cas in the eye today and it's bound to get much worse, knowing that eventually he'll end up with someone else.

I wanted a husband. I didn't want a Autumn fling or a cute crush. I wanted someone to hold me, to love me, to provide for me so I could do the same for him. If there was nothing in it, then I was just wasting my time.

I should've stayed home. I realised. I shouldn't have gone on this extravagant adventure if it'd ultimately amounted to nothing. I needed to go back. Maybe that's the right idea, I sat back in my seat. Admittedly, it pained me to do so.

Yeah, I figured, walking back to the hotel with my kebab in hand, that's the best thing to do.

So I wandered up the stairs, gnawing at the wrap. By no fault of its own, it tasted like cardboard. Without thinking, I began to pack. Re-folding my clothing, re-organising the array. Pack this, add that. I paused on the film camera that Cas had given me. There were a few negatives that still needed to be developed; a few shots I'd taken on our last 'date' in a botanic garden, a few candids of the team resting between several university Q and As and a few shots of Cas meeting with some kids at a local disability event. Fighting within myself, I decided to leave the camera on the stand, and pocket the reel.

What am I doing? I wondered to myself. I had purpose here, I had friends here, and for a while, I thought I might have something even more.

I squared my shoulders, steadying myself. This is what I needed to be doing.

I sat on the edge of my bed, looking to my hands in front of me. A soft knock on the door, probably Patrycja, I'd asked her to come over to help me get a way home.

"Come in," my voice was croaky. The room is so stale, I noticed, moving up to the window to let in some fresh air. The window was set with a thick latch and I tugged it open, pushing out the glass. The air, while somewhat sticky, was cool on my face. The last breaths of Winter were still hanging about and the heavy curtains rustled in the breeze.

"Sof," The words were tentative, pregnant with the worry that the ice he was walking on would fail.

I spun around. Sure enough, Cas was standing in the doorway. His tie was a little loose and his hair slightly ruffled. My brow furrowed. According to Patrycja, the dancing should only just be starting.

"Pretty early to be back?"

"Yeah," Cas sighed, "party wasn't that interesting,"

I wanted to snort, or maybe even laugh. While Cas was a relatively private person, once he let his guard down, he could go for all night. But instead, I stared. It hurt to talk to him. It hurt to smile or laugh or even think of joking.

It was my fault though. I guess I'd been unclear about my expectations. I'd send signs of interest without establishing my dreams for those signs. I bit my lip, looking away.

"Are you... okay?" He asked. The same question as before. Though this time, we both had time to talk.

"Yeah," It hurt to speak, "I'm fine,"

"You don't need to lie to me," He stepped forwards, my eyes prickled, "what's wrong?"

I don't want to solve this, a part of me whined, I just want to go home.

"What is this?" My words were hushed, broken.

"What do you mean, 'what is this'? I thought we had something," The other part of me, jumped for joy at his words. I thought we had something too! This is good! Is this something the same something that I'm thinking of too?

"Where does this go?" My words were hushed, "where does this end up?"

Cas' face was conflicted, he opened his mouth to say something then promptly shut it. He pursed his lips, then bit them. "I hope we'd become close,"

The air, despite full with the nearby breeze, was heavy. "Close," My voice fully cracked on that word, "was that all? Just close?"

Cas took in a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably, "Okay, perhaps a little more than close,"

"What's a little more than close?" My eyes narrowed, I wasn't following.

"Okay, I think I'm falling in love with you," Cas' words were sharp and almost angry, "I know that's incredibly cheesy to say and it feels incredibly overused but I really like you. And I want to be closer than close, I want to be with you. You're kind, you're helpful and you're usually always ready to lend a hand. I don't see that kind of kindness much. But it's so prevalent in you. And I love you for it. I love what you do and how dedicated you are to the team and to the mission, that even after hours upon hours of work, you're still willing to cook or do other stupid, menial tasks that no one wants to do. I love who you are. Sofia, I think I love you,"

Wait, what?

I blinked, taking in Cas' confession. I didn't know what to say, searching his face for a sign of a joke or any sense of a false truth in his words. My eyes narrowed.

"Then why are you engaged to Milena?"

Cas face dropped. There was a moment of realisation in his eyes. He finally got it. So that's why she's so angry at me, was probably running through his head. I stood my ground, ready to defend myself. Cas' emotional profession of love had thrown me off and a part of me just wanted to fall into his arms and let him kiss me.

But this. I couldn't get past this.

Cas' eyes flicked past me, his brows furrowing. "What's that smell?"

Yeah well, I know the room is a little stuffy but I'm trying my best here. I wanted to snort but paused. Cas brushed past me to the window, holding himself with a trained precision. Then I noticed it. The stench of smoke. Then I heard their cries; angry shouts and the sound of glass. They were throwing rocks through the windows of the hotel.

"There's a mob!" Patrycja suddenly appeared at my door, her eyes terrified and breathing heavily.

"Get as many people as you can and get out the back!" Cas hissed, waving her away. I took a few steps back in horror. Cas turned to me, raging emotion in his eyes, "you need to get somewhere safe,"

"Who is it?" I gasped, the stench of smoke becoming thicker.

"Insurgents," Cas scowled, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the hallway, "we need to get somewhere safe,"

We turned a corner, moving at top speed. The majority of the hotel's guests were attendees at the wedding and the place was relatively empty. Vlad met up with us, ushering out a herd of late night workers.

"Are you okay?" He asked quickly, Cas nodded firmly, "out the back isn't safe for you. I've called local law enforcement but the Service are sticking to the wedding,"

"Is everyone safe there?" Cas' voice was full of concern.

"I don't know," Vlad was honest, "that's not my concern right now," He nodded to one of the cleaners who'd peeled off with the three of us. The others had rushed out through the back. Hopefully the rioters would take pity on innocent workers.

The cleaner was a smaller woman. She had dark hair and a fringe that tapped her brow as she ran. Her skin was a slight olive colour in the darkness. She rushed us down the grand staircase that stitched the two wings of the hotel together. The front door was alight and the windows were mostly shattered.

"Keep moving," Vlad barked when I faltered. The foyer, which had been a masterpiece of beauty was now beginning to glow with fire. I clenched my mouth shut, covering my nose and mouth with the front of my dress. Cas moved his grip to my forearm. It wasn't painful in any way, but just making sure that I was still here.

The cleaning woman led us down a flight of stairs, then into a cellar. Passing rows of food in storage, she pushed aside a stack of potatoes. They sprawled over the floor.

Above, shouting and the thrumming of many feet stomping could be heard. There wasn't enough people in the town to gather the mob that was above. Something had gone wrong to bring them here.

Pulling a flashlight from his suit jacket, Vlad led the way. The tunnel looked to be something from the middle ages; a stone cave supported by a network of decaying beams. I was next, followed by Cas and then the cleaning woman took up the rear. As we shuffled through, the stench of smoke and the chorus of chaos from above, faded. The woman guided us to the left, then she pointed us right. Soon enough, we were making our was up the stairs of a modest, little home. We were in the butler's pantry. The woman turned away, locking the door and with Vlad's help, pulled a shelf in front of it. No one should be able to get through.

Cas wandered into the home. It had a minimalist design; white with accents of wooden fittings. It was peaceful, modern, not on fire. I looked to him, my gut still twisting. His face was laid with a layer of sweat. His hair ruffled from the jogging. Cas' jacket clung to the stench of smoke and ash hung to his suit. The two of us slowly caught our breaths.

Vlad walked past us, into the living room. He'd barely finished his sweep when he was on the phone talking to the Royal Service. His words were quick, sharp and angry. The cleaning woman began cleaning up a bowl that had fallen off of the shelf when it moved. She held the largest pieces in one of her hands and swiftly plucked the others up from the floor.

The moment slowed. We were safe. Figuring we'd be here waiting for the Service, I moved to the vacuum that was nearby, plugging it in.

"What's your name?" My voice was hushed, still straggled from running.

"Sasha, ma'am," She smiled, probably only a year or so older than me.

"Thank you for helping us Sasha,"

She gave a small nod and a quick smile, moving to the bin. I started up the vacuum, wincing at the loud noise. Back and forth, watching the pearly shards slowly disappear. I kept going. The butler's pantry needed a bit of a clean. Maybe I should continue throughout the house.

I thought about tonight; about the rioters, about the hotel that was in flames. How did they know Cas was in there? How did they know where he'd be staying? Why did they attack Cas of all people? As terrible as it sounded, attacking the wedding as a whole would've been a lot more effective. Why didn't we know about it until now?

I continued vacuuming. Back and forth, back and forth.

Through the doorway, I could see Cas wandering back and forth. In between whispering with Vlad, he seemed restless. Vlad was trying to get information on Cas' family at the wedding while also getting a secure transport from our 'safe house'. Cas was insistent that we'd be fine on our own- we just needed a car. Sasha was insistent on making a meal to calm our nerves.

The world slowed, Sasha walked into the butler's pantry to call for food. Cas was in the other room, looking out the window. Her face dropped. I turned to see. 

A figure stood, a gun in their raised hand. They were aiming past me, to Cas. My arm swung, hoping to bat away their aim. Then, a searing pain ripped through my shoulder. The ringing of a gunshot in my ears. The explosion sounded again. Sasha fell to the floor with a cry. My legs gave out and I dropped to the floor, nursing my shoulder. My dress was already wet with blood. I suppressed a scream, groping for some kind of support from the shelves.

A shadow stepped over me, raising a handgun. Vlad was immediately at the ready. It took him two bullets to send the attacker to the ground.

My vision swam. I began to shake, my shoulder in a fiery blaze of pain. The pain ricochetted throughout my shoulder and on that side of my body. In the blurry chaos, Cas was by my side in an instant.

"Ow, ow, ow," I mumbled, blinking away tears and doing my best not to swear, I was Christian after all.

"Sof are you okay?" Cas voice was full of worry, "Sof?"

I breathed in through my teeth, beginning to pant. Dimly, I was aware of Cas beginning first aid. A cry as he applied pressure, and through the tears I could see the emotionless face of Sasha swimming in and out of focus.

I could never shoot a gun, I wanted to cry, this hurt too much.

My grip was slipping. I was loosing strength. I felt drenched. Copper, sweat, the smoke, all mingling together. My hair was sticking to my face and neck. I was splayed awkwardly on the tiled floor of the safe house. Cas was darting around me, applying pressure.

"You still there?" His words were a little evasive and I struggled to catch onto them.

"Yeah," I croaked, biting down a whimper, "it hurts,"

"They're on their way," Cas' words were firm, "stay with me, okay?" Transferring his weight, he picked up my other hand. His hands were warm in my own, my blood sticking us together.

"Oh my goodness," I coughed out a chuckle, sending darts of pain throughout my shoulder, "went from a blood nose to a bullet wound. What a jump,"

Cas scoffed, shaking his head. He sighed to himself, "Sof... About Milena,"

Probably the worst time to assure me that it 'wasn't what I thought it was' but in waiting for the ambulance, we had time.

"We're not technically engaged... Her family own the largest private special forces group in Europe. Our families agreed that if we married, the royal family would have... control over this group. Sof, we'd be able to put a stop to this stupid insurgency,"

There were traces of tears on his face. Had Cas been... crying?

"Cas," I whispered, the two of us very close, "how bad is this situation?"

Cas seemed to have aged ten years in ten seconds.

"Bad," His voice was raspy, "it's been bad, but it's been getting worse," His words were grave and he looked away. The royal family must've been desperate if they'd hope to marry off their son in return for the use of a private army. It crushed me even more. I shouldn't be between a prince and security for his kingdom. My eyes prickled, and I looked to the ceiling of the butler's pantry.

My father had frequently gone on about sacrifice. Giving one's life on the battlefield, serving one's kingdom etc. I'd imagined that serving my country was part of my work with Cas and the others. I'd always figured that that would be my way of serving.

Perhaps it was a sacrifice that was a little more intimate.

"Cas... If you need to marry Milena for, your country, then I completely understand..." I swallowed, my words faltering, "and I wish you all the best,"

He looked at me, a sense of wonder on his face. His lip quirked and he shook his head.

"Now that I've found you, I'm not going to let you go. Sofia O'Zbrojaski, would you stay with me?"

I looked to him. A moment between us. Did he really just ask that?

Then I began to realise what he'd said. Stay with him? Did that mean what I think it meant? Did that mean we actually would be in a committed relationship? Did this come with titles and an official commitment? I searched through my memory. Was this something that was announced to the media? Would I have photographers on my trail and journalists harping at my door? My stomach launched in my already, painful position.

"Don't overthink it," Cas sniffled, suppressing a grin, "would you be my actual girlfriend Sof?"

I chuckled. Well, it was more of a few huffs, then I stilled, "No one knows, okay?"

"No one?" Cas was inquisitive, "what do you-?"

"No media, no press, none of that, okay?" Cas nodded.

"For you? Anything,"

I nodded, the world starting to blur around me.

"Sof, stay with me," Cas' words slurred, "it's going to be okay, stay with me,"

My vision filled with blue and red, as flashing lights filled the house. Cas looked up, shouting. And it all faded to black.