Diona: (voiceover) I used to look up at space...

The black screen cuts to a buff, anime-styled diona looking up to the sky.

Diona: ...with hope and wonder in my eyes...until space looked back.

Two red eyes open in the sky. A mouth also appears, smiling evilly at diona.

Diona: Invader Vlalarie, evil, alien soldier of the Irken Empire sent by her diabolical masters, the Almighty Tallest to infiltrate Earth and prepare it for the coming invasion. Disguised as one of us...

Anime-styled Valarie slips into her disguise.

Dib: ...she moved into my neighborhood, she went to my school, and with the help of her vile mechanical servants, plotted to destroy everything we have, everything we are...

Helicopter whirls. A crowd shouts.

Diona: And then...

The screen is black again.

Diona: she vanished. My name is Diona Membrane...

Her glasses shine.

Diona: I'm 12 years old, and I'm all that stands between Valarie, and the annihilation of our world.

The black screen cuts to the words "NOW" in a night sky.

Professor Membrane, reading: NOW...

The camera pans down to the Membrane Household.

Prof. Membrane: Prepare your starving, gurgling child bellies for the awesome eventuality of DINNER!

Foodio 3000 groans, the oven in him shining. The oven dings, the food flying out onto plates. Gaz opens her eyes.

Foodio 3000: Foodio 3000 hopes you love what I have made. Also, what is love?

Gaz: Looks great, Dad.

She points to her food.

Gaz: I'm gonna eat that food.

Prof. Membrane bangs his fist onto the table.

Prof. Membrane: Hold up now, daughter! Isn't it time your sister joined us?

Gaz: Oh, man, no. Since Valarie vanished, Diona's been in his room for, like, a million years. I hardly recognize her anymore. She just sits there in that chair getting grosser... smellier.

The screen gets red as it zooms on Gaz. Her eye twitches.

Prof. Membrane: She sure does, but try to be more understanding. Diona's finally letting go of her silly obsession with aliens and ghosts and all his other non-scientific nonsense. And it's not easy for her. Imagine if you stopped believing in, oh, video games.

Gaz: Don't even joke about that, Dad.

Prof. Membrane: Honey, letting go of silly ideas is just part of growing up. Why, as a child, I thought sharks were my friends.

Prof. Membrane pulls his glove off, revealing a robotic arm underneath. He moves his fingers and hand.

Prof. Membrane: I know better now.

Prof. Membrane puts his glove back on.

Prof. Membrane: So, try to be more supportive. He's your brother, after all.

Gaz is now wearing a hazmat suit with "Gazmat" on it. She is carrying a pan.

Gaz: Okay, Dad.

Gaz grunts as she walks upstairs.

Gaz: Hey, Diona! Dad says come to dinner!

Gaz throws the pan on Diona's door and green fumes come out. Diona is shown from behind as she looks at the monitors. Flies are buzzing around him.

Diona: You know I can't leave my post, Gaz. Just shove the food in here.

Gaz: Where's the shoving stick? I can't shove without the shoving stick.

Gaz leaves.

Diona: Vlalarie's still out there, Gaz, so I have to wait and watch. No one else will. They could never see the truth. Why, though? Brainwashing? Mind control? Brain-erasing ghosts? Nobody believes me now, but I'll make them see. I'll expose Vlalarie to the world, and open humanity's eyes to the danger they were in all along. Even Dad, world-famous man of science will say, "I believe you, Diona. I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

Gaz: That's the worst Dad impression ever, but, Diona, let it go. Valarie's been gone a long time, and as far as you know, he might just be gone for good. I'd be willing to bet that Vlalarie will never, ever... Oh, wait, there she is.

Gaz points to one of the monitors.

Dib: It's Vlalarie!

The monitors show vlalarie and SIM exercising.

Diona: she's  back! And she's  doing stretches! Nobody stretches like that unless they're warming up for evil! This is it! The... moment I've been... waiting for!

Diona starts to get up. The lights on Gaz's hazmat suit cut off and she taps it to turn it back on.

Gaz: What are you doing?

Diona: Gotta get to Valarie!

Gaz: Diona, no. Look at you. The world's not ready to see what you've become. You're hideous! The smell!

Diona: The world... needs me!

Gaz: Take a bath first! Take... Take a bath!

Gaz gags as her cheeks bulge and tears form in her eyes.

Gaz: No!

The camera zooms into Gaz's mouth as she screams. The opening credits play as the monitors show Zim, GIR and Minimoose exercising. Cut to Dib making his way down the street to Vlalarie  base as lightning flashes, illuminating his gross form.

Diona: Vlalarie!

Cut to show Vlalarie posing dramatically, one foot planted on Sim's head.

Vlalarie: Yes, it is I, and... Hmm? Oh, wait, sorry. You'll have to move along, hideous goblin. I'm posing dramatically for when the Diona shows up.

Diona: I am Diona.

Valarie: What? Ugh, ugh, ugh! Ugh!

Valarie starts to gag

Diona: But...

Valarie: Give me a sec here.

Diona: We know each other.

Valarie: I've been expecting you, Diona!

Diona: I can tell. You set up sprinklers and everything.

Zoom out to show Valarie has set up special effect. Valarie kicks away the sound effect speaker, unplugs the sprinkler, and shoves the strobe light in sim's mouth.

Valarie: You can't prove anything! Anyhow, I...

Diona: Where have you been, Valarie? I've been monitoring your house, the school, that taco place you love so much.

Sim struggles to swallow the strobe..

Valarie: No, no. Sim loves that place. I think it's dirty.

Sim: I ate a baby there.

Valarie: she did.

A baby cries in the background.

Diona : What have you been up to, Valarie

Valarie: Phase one of my evil plan, human. Phase one.

Flashback reveals Valarie hiding in the toilet laughing along with Sim.

Valarie: Computer! Laugh with me!

Computer: I don't want to.

The flashback is revealed to be a video on Valarie's phone. Valarie laughs and puts the phone away.

Dib: You've been in your house sitting in the toilet all this time?

Valarie: Yes.

Dib: Like, the whole time?

Valarie: That's right.

Dib: Did you have to sit in the toilet?

Valarie gets close to Dib and points a finger in his face.

Valarie: Do not try to understand the ways of my people, Diona! From the moment my mission began on this horrible planet, you've been there, haunting my every move like a squak in my shmoopsquizz.

Diona: A what in your huh?

Valarie: Uh-huh! And while the rest of your kind were easily fooled, you were able to see through my brilliant disguise.

Valarie takes off her wig and contacts. One of Valarie's neighbors spits out his soda and points to Valarie.

Neighbor: Martha!

Martha pushes her face against the window.

Martha: Eh?

Neighbor: The neighbor girls an alien!

Valarie puts her disguise back on.

Neighbor: Never mind, Martha. She's normal.

Martha: Okay.

Martha slides back down. The neighbor drinks his soda.

Valarie: I knew if I vanished for long enough, you'd just watch and wait, your neglected body growing smelly and useless. But that was only Phase One of my evil plan. Well, keep watching, Dookie-Dib. Watch helplessly as I begin... Phase Two! Hah!

Diona: No!

Valarie: I'm switching people's mail around.

Diona: That's illegal! No!

Valarie: I'm reading someone's newspaper! I don't pay for a subscription! Haha!

Diona: Nobody reads newspapers anymore, but, no, stop!

Valarie: Minimoose, get in on this mayhem!

Minimoose floats to Poonchy's car. It looks at a sticker of a slice of pizza.

Poonchy: That's my mom's pizza sticker. She is crazy for pizza.

Minimoose pulls the sticker off the car.

Poonchy: Hey, what... what are you... Hey, that... that's... Hey, don't... Wait. Don't! Don't! Don't!

Poonchy screams in gibberish as Minimoose puts the sticker to its side.

Minimoose: Nyah!

Valarie: Excellent.

Sim: Me! Me! Let me do one.

Sim runs over to a dog and eats it. He shoots it out in the air.

Sim: I launched that pug into space.

Valarie: I thought you liked that pig.

A crash is heard and a car goes off in the background.

Sim: Why I do that?

Valarie: What's the matter, human? Why aren't you stopping me?

Diona: Can't fight back. Sat too long. Chair fused to butt. More chair than girl  now.

Valarie: Humans are such fragile, goopy things. No Irken would ever become a chair.

Diona: Wait! Was that Phase Two?

Valarie: Of course it was! Probably. Uh... You know what? Now I'm not sure. Either way, you're helpless to stop me, Chair-Diona. So long!

Roboparents: Welcome home, daughter.

Diona: Valarie!

Diona is dragged away by the lawn gnomes as she watches Valarie and her robots fade into her base, eyes glowing red. Cut to inside Valarie's house as a set of robotic arms descend from the ceiling and remove her disguise.

Valarie: Excellent work, me! All is going according to plan, but there's still much to do, SIM.

SIM: Yes, Ma'm!

Sim pulls down the hood of his disguise, screams dramatically, and runs to the couch to turn on the TV.

Floopsy: (On TV) I bloop you, Schmoopsy!

Schmoopsy: Floopsy...

TV: Aww.

Valarie: Computer!

Computer: (groans) What?

Valarie: Open a connection with the Almighty Tallest, my leaders and biggest fans.

Computer: Preparing to call The Tallest.

Valarie: You see, GIR, The Tallest...

Computer: Now calling The Tallest!

Valarie: The Tallest haven't heard from me, their greatest and most incredible invader, in a very long time. They'll be sick with worry.

Cut to deep space, as the Massive blows up several planets it passes by. Zoom in on the Tallest on the bridge watching all this with bored expressions, Red drinking a soda and Purple eating donuts from a bag.

Purple: Hey... remember Invader Valarie?

Red: Who?

Purple: Valarie! Tiny? Screamed a lot?

Red: The girl that sends us the donuts?

Purple: No, that's Invader jir. She's  great!

Red: Oh, wait! Valarie! We hate her!

Purple: Yeah, that's her! Remember the time we lied and told her we were sending her on a secret mission to Earth, but really we were just getting rid of her because he's awful?

Red: Yeah. We're hilarious.

Comms Officer: My Tallest, there's an incoming transmission.

Purple: Yep, life's been pretty great ever since Valarie vanished for good. Anyhow, send that transmission through. I wonder who it could ever be.

Vlalarie appears on the main screen

Vlalarie: It is I, Vlalarie!

Red growls in frustration while Purple spits out a stream of soda. He pauses to eat another donut, then spits some more, the stream knocking a Table-Headed Service Drone off of the platform they're on.

Valarie: My Tallest, you will be overjoyed to know Phase One of my most ingenious plan to prepare Earth for your arrival was a success.

Red: Valarie? We thought you were dead!

Valarie: Could a dead Vlalarie do this?

Valarie dances excitedly. Sim makes a happy noise and imitates her while still sitting on the couch, Minimoose bobbing up and down in the air as well.

Valarie: Sirs, my Earthly arch-nemesis is now a sad chair, leaving me free to complete the most diabolical phase of my plan, Phase Two, wherein I, uh... Uh, uh, uh...

Several cuts of Valarie standing in various spots as he tries to remember his plan.

Valarie: Computer, put them on hold. Oh, no. I really can't remember what Phase Two is. I must have sat in that toilet too long. Think, Zim. Think.

Red: We don't care, Valarie.

Valarie: Why didn't I write it down? Wait! Computer, play back any recordings of me discussing Phase Two.

Computer: One recording found.

The screen cuts to Valarie standing in the kitchen with GIR lying in a chair nearby

Computer: Would you like me to record any and all mention of Phase Two?

Valarie: No, thank you. Valarie forgets nothing.

The screen cuts back to Red and Purple

Valarie: Hmm, besides reminding me how cool I look and sound, that was of no help.

Red: she knows we can still see and hear her, right?

Purple: I liked her better when she was dead!

Sim: I remember Phase Two!

Zim: You do? Good work, sim! Tell me.

Sim: You gonna order a million pizzas, and then I gotta roll around in them pizzas, and that's the story about how I turn into a giant pizza.

Sim sticks his tongue out with a squeak. Valarie looks at him with a irritated face.

Valarie: This isn't the time for the giant pizza story, sim. And that will never happen!

Sim cries as he throws his body around. His wails and screams are heard in the background.

Valarie: Silence! I need to think! Just calm down and... Computer, did you put The Tallest on hold?

Computer: Nope.

Valarie: AHHH!!!

Valarie deploys the legs from his PAK and blows up the screen, leaving the Tallest looking at static. We see that a hole has been clean through into the neighbors' house, leaving them looking at Valarie.

Martha: Huh?

Valarie: I don't think they heard anything.

Sim: Yes, they did!

Valarie: I am Irk's finest Invader. If The Tallest find out I failed to dominate the Earth because I forgot Phase Two, who knows what they'll do?

Sim : Hmm?

Valarie imagines himself in shackles on Judgementia, the Tallest and the Control Brains looking down on him.

Red: Invader Valarie.amazing , you were once our best, most amazing Invader, but now, you're dumb.

Purple: Also stupid. As punishment, you will be stripped of your Invader rank, re-encoded as nothing.

Valarie: But you can't! I am Valarie!

Red: Control Brains, re-encode.

Control Brains: Re-encoding.

Tendrils from the Control Brains hook into Valar's PAK and reprogram her.

Control Brains: It is done, My Tallest.

Purple: Valarie, you will live out the rest of your long, sad days as...

Valarie screams as she's tossed aside and eaten by a giant worm monster that pops up out of nowhere.

Purple: Wait, no, never mind.

Cut back to Valarie in reality.

Valarie: GIR, time is of the essence. The Tallest could be here any day now... and diona won't stay a chair forever. Go to my scheming lab, and bring me everything that could be Phase Two. Quickly!

Montage sequence of Valarie looking over potential plans, while diona works out to get back in shape.

Valarie: Useless dookie! I need more time to remember Phase Two. Computer, how much longer do I have before The Tallest arrive?

Computer: Information unknown.

Valarie: Unacceptable. Access The Tallest's computers and retrieve their flight plan.

Valarie descends into the lower levels of her base.

Computer: (in British accent) Ooh, yes, right away, sir.

Valarie: Are you doing an accent?

Computer: I get bored. P.S. There is insufficient power to access the flight plan.

Vlarie: Then find more power, and be sneaky about it.

Cut to outside the base, as cables burst out and wrap around other buildings, draining power from them and causing a blackout. One cable drains the Neighbor into a shriveled husk.

Computer: Activating sneaky mode. Sneaking! Sneaking! Sneaking! Sneaking!

People are heard screaming.

Cut to inside Vlalarie'sbase as she floats on a platform towards a screen projecting a blue hologram of the universe, with a pink line running through it.

Computer: Flight plan retrieved.

Vlarie: Along this line is every world the Irken empire.