"My pumpkin pies!" Peeta exclaims, watching Haymitch gobble the pies up in his dizzy state.

"Why did you eat them? They were beautiful pies!" Peeta yells at Haymitch, who started chomping on a miniature version of the Cornucopia, but with fruit in it instead of weapons.

"Because good pies were they!" Haymitch sluggishly grumbled in an answer to Peeta's question.

"Katniss! He ate my pumpkin pies!"

The blonde baker called for Katniss whenever Haymitch did something bad. Last Thanksgiving, Haymitch ate the turkey before it was cooked. No, seriously, he ate it before it was cooked. At the time, Katniss was aiming for it with her bow, but then Haymitch jumped out of the bushes in the forest and pounced on the poor bird.

Needless to say, having Thanksgiving with Haymitch wasn't the most delightful experience Peeta ever had.

"Be quiet, Peeta! She's trying to get the bird this year!" a sing-song voice called from the other side of the camp they made.

"Birdy? Birdy where? Bird want the I!" Haymitch slobbered, looking around frantically for this "bird".

"It's not a bird, it's a...uh..." Peeta tried to come up with an excuse to keep Haymitch from attacking the turkey again.

"It's a turd!" Effie answered for him, laughing afterwards in her high-pitched voice.

"A what?" Peeta could hardly believe Effie just said that. Normally, Effie would be obsessed with cleanliness and fashion. Makeup, too. That woman was all about makeup and dressing up. This was no like her at all.

"You heard me! It was a turd! Not a bird, silly old Haymitch!" Effie replied, showing her photogenic smile.

"Hmph. Birdy this year no guess I." Haymitch spoke gibberish when he was out of it. Then he turned back to the cornucopia and sweet potatoes.

Peeta sighed with relief and turned back to Effie. "How can I repay you, Effie? You just kept him from attacking the turkey again!"

Effie stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean? I just told him the truth: it was indeed a turd." She pointed to a log-shaped "rock" on the ground next to Haymitch.

Peeta almost puked, turning his back to Effie. "Where's Katniss?" he asked her.

"She's outside, like the rest of us." the fashionista sarcastically replied, checking her white gloves for dirt.

"Effie, I didn't mean that! Where is she outside?" Peeta was getting irritated at her fluffy responses.

"In the forest somewhere. I don't know where those animals are."

Peeta gave her a "are-you-seriously-telling-me-this?" look before turning back to Haymitch.

"Haymitch, stop devouring my cornucopia! Get away from the sweet potatoes! Leave the corn alone before I hit you with it!" Peeta tried to order Haymitch around as if his mentor was a child. Nothing seemed to work.

* * *

"I was able to get it without Haymitch pouncing on it this year." Katniss said after she got back. It was just starting to become evening; the events of earlier were during the afternoon.

"At least we have the turkey. Haymitch ate the rest of the food." Peeta looked at the fire they started in a firepit made of rocks and logs.

"HE DID WHAT?!" Katniss yelled.

And that, my friends, is why you should never invite Haymitch to Thanksgiving dinners.