I love my lavender shampoo
It smells peaceful and it relaxes my shoulders
You were lavender in my garden of chaos
Small and at rest

Though you probably aren't anymore
And you probably hate me now
And you probably will never see this

When I shut myself off from the world
I cut you off too
Shovel in my hand
I dug all the flowers and plants from my garden
It was bare and a mess

I don't regret it but it doesn't feel right

You did nothing wrong
You never did

Now my flowerbed has life in it
Though I want you
Small and the calm before the storm
With the aroma of dreamcatchers
Fluffy petals of lavender back in my garden

You were family and a little brother to me
I teased you and hugged you as much as I could
I probably made you uncomfortable many times
And I feel terrible about it
Dare I say that I might've loved you

You, my little brother, are the soft lavender I'm always missing