There's a lot I should be doing right now,

And my brain waves the list of deadlines like flags at a parade.

However, the moon is awake behind a loose layer of clouds

An ideal time to let my focus wander through my library of thoughts.

I think about April at first,

The first quarter of the year is always rough.

Fireplace evenings were spent writing poetry to and about you,

Your movie collections, and equations you recited like bible verses.

A spiral notebook sticks out on the shelf,

I haven't opened it in months, but I know what's inside.

The nostalgia is sickeningly sweet, and I smile anyways,

Because there is the three- or four-page story about our adventures I never finished.

Hidden behind closed doors is my lake,

I pray either of you never learn you are part of my lake.

Or that you read between the lines to discover

Precisely what I never dared to tell you.

The summertime, oh how awful,

But you two made June worth it all.

Adventures in the backseat at Sonic, sonic waves of sirens on New York rooftops,

And admiring my walls turn purple from my lights.

The moon disappears in the fog of sleepy clouds,

I skip August and September with the shake of my head.

Instead, I recall our recently shared kettle of tea,

And the permanent look of homesickness in your tired eyes.

Every month my library grows its collection

Of stories and poetry for all of you.

Late nights are filled with rereading fond memories

And dangerous wishes disguised in poetic language.

The moon emerges from the midnight haze,

I continue to reminisce over the individual feelings

Until I fall asleep with sweet dreams of us and our adventures.

[I can't get sued for pulling an To All the Boys I've Loved Before right? because i am gay and not all the people i'm talking about are boys.. so. please dont sue me netflix or the author of the og book]