Broken is the boy, who fades in his mind. Broken is the smile, behind which he hides.

Broken is the voice , the voice that betrays. Broken is his joy, but the memory of it he obeys.

Living on a lie, is tonight the night that he cant deny? Deny the feeling, the need to see flesh broken by steel. How does this wrist peel? Oh how does it feel? 

Baby he's reeling, needs the feeling, has to know what its like to bleed... Has to know what its like not to have to breathe... He can't stop, he needs something real to grieve!

Always asking why, oh what's it like to say goodbye? To give up on trying, to stop fighting that he's dying... Inside... Inside the numbness resides, inside it hides!

Consuming all the air, the grey is everywhere, dulling all the colour, gentle voices sounding nuller, oh his eyes are growing duller!

Oh now its out there! Its taken root in his hair! The grey, the grey, like scars and shooting stars! The dark of its night growing ever fuller!

Oh, silver strands of his life, memories best forgotten, thoughts and feelings growing rotten! Whats this feeling that he's gotten?

Whats the point? Whats the point?

Begging for an answer, looking everywhere, growing ever prouder of dulling eyes and streaking hair... Call all you want, your little boy isn't there....

Oh rising so carelessly, a monster stretching out so effortlessly... Does he still remember me? Is his heart and mind still free?

Tell me what its like, the feeling of the knife, tell me what it's life, like to end a life...

Need to cut it out, carving beautiful lines into my skin, need to scream and shout, but I wont give it to him...

Need to bleed him dry, need him to give in and die! That's the mantra of me, and the monster inside!

Silence the temptation with music and written word, distracting myself from all the facts that he's shared! "Nobody loves, nobody's there, nobody needs you, no nobody cares!" When whispered so softly it sounds almost like a prayer...

But what would my mother think? Would she blame herself or refuse to sleep and take up drink?

Would my father cry, would he even blink? Would he miss me or the me he wished I were? Would he really care?

Would my brothers feel the loss, like a knife through the soul? Would they be left with a smile, or left feeling there's a hole?

Would my sister's give up fighting, would this be what makes them unite? Could this decision bring them light, could this be what's right?

So while I decide, I'll just lie, I'll play pretend, why I think I'll let it sink, go to sleep and let the monster dream away...

I wake up and sing a love song just because and plaster on a smile, inside my thoughts are growing filthy, inside there's something vile... But where's the denial?...