Adam had thought he had ditched Assad when he closed his apartment door and slid down the door. He was sitting down and breathing heavily, feeling his heart beating against his chest as he tried to calm down.

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath in frustration as he closed his eyes and balled his fists. "God, damn it."

The surrounding area—the kitchenette and the living room just a meter away were silent. The white noise pierced Adam's ears, not helping his escalating thoughts that kept calling him every bad name under the sun for being such a horn dog.

He was thinking, staring up at the ceiling and he had his head pressed his hair against the front door as he sucked on his bottom lip, face still hot as an oven.

It was during this time that he heard a knock on the door. At first, Adam thought he had imagined it, but after a few more knocks followed he panicked and scrambled off the floor. He stood at the door, knowing that it couldn't be anyone but Assad on the other end. Adam narrowed his eyes at the door, wondering if he should retreat to his bedroom and pretend that he hadn't heard anyone knock on the do.

"Come on Adam, open the door," the younger man said from the other side of the door. "Don't pretend you're not there, I can hear you scampering around."

Adam gulped, looking at the door like a deer caught in headlights.

"Adam..." Assad trailed from the other end when the man refused to speak up. "Are you still freaking out about that? It's okay," Assad said in a teasing tone.

Adam didn't see what was so funny. "I don't think I can look at you," he said, being honest. He rested his head on the door, placing his hand on the doorknob as he sucked on his bottom lip.

"I told you I liked you, and then I kissed you and got a hard on and I don't even know if you feel the same way yet," Adam said, realizing the second half as he said it. "Do you even feel the same way about me?" he asked.

Assad was quiet on the other end, and Adam was starting to get nervous.

"I really like you," Adam said. "A lot. I meant it when I said it," he continued, feeling his throat itch from overuse. This was the most he had spoken in a long time.

"Yeah," Assad let out. "I like you, Adam." The words made Adam's chest swell.

His gaze fell to the floor as he tried to ignore the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. "What about that guy you have a crush on from your class?" Adam asked, being skeptical of Assad's words. Maybe the man was just saying that he shared his feelings to be nice. Adam didn't want that. 

"I don't like him that much, Adam," the younger man said. "I never did."

Adam's eyes fluttered to the door again. "But—"

"I just thought he was cute, is all. It wasn't anything meaningful," Assad said, cutting Adam off. "With you it's different. I want to take care of you and talk to you all the time, even though you ignore me or push me away. I was just shocked when you said you liked me because you rarely say anything and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells not to piss you off," Assad said.

Adam sucked in his lower lip, digesting the words Assad said. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, feeling bad about how cautious Assad had been around him.

"It's not your fault. You're not obligated to make me feel comfortable," Assad whispered from the other end, and Adam almost didn't catch his words.

Adam felt a lump form in his throat. Why wouldn't Assad ever allow him to thank him or apologize? Why was he so bloody nice?

Adam turned the knob of the door, pulling the door open before looking right at Assad who was on the other end. The younger man gave him a smile.

"Can I come in?" Assad asked.

Adam stepped away from the door, creating space. "Sure," he said, watching as Assad kicked off his shoes and crossed into the welcome area. When the door creaked shut behind him, the two men stared at each other, not saying anything for a while.

Assad walked over to Adam, stopping right in front of him. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, making Adam's eyes go wide and his mouth dry up.

"Y-yeah," he managed to stutter, keeping his eye contact with Assad.

Assad grinned, reaching for Adam's face before dreading his head and leaning forward. Their lips connected like the first time, but the sparks from before were just as intense—maybe even more so. Assad didn't hesitate to open his mouth. Adam did the same after a while, sighing into the kiss as Assad coaxed his tongue with his. The man's full lips overwhelmed his. He liked Assad's kisses. They were confident and fueled by a delicate force that encouraged him to participate.

The kiss lasted until they had to pull apart to take deep breaths. They held onto each other, staring into each other's eyes. Adam wondered what was going on in Assad's head. His face warmed up, wondering if the man was thinking about what he was thinking. He wanted to leave Assad to do all the deciding and leading as he always did, but something pricked him to be the one to speak up—well, not exactly, but make the decisions.

Adam took a deep breath before grabbing Assad's hand and pulling him in the direction of his bedroom. He waited for the man to make a joke, maybe even tease and laugh at him, but none of that happened. It seemed Assad knew how paranoid Adam was, and that this was delicate.

Adam opened the door to his bedroom. No one, not even Assad, has seen the inside of it in years. The last time Adam had someone over it was Archie and they'd had an argument after having sex. Adam started to tremble as he stared at the bed, and Assad decided to continue leading from here. He held on to Adam's shoulder and slowly urged him into the room before closing the door behind them.

Assad moved to stand in front of Adam before reaching out for his hand and giving it a squeeze. "We don't have to do anything yet," he muttered, his voice just loud enough for Adam to hear him. We can just kiss, hug, and touch—nothing else. Nothing you don't want," Assad assured him, pulling his hand and leading him to the bed. They both sat down and held hands without uttering a word to each other for what seemed like forever.

Assad was the first one to break. He took off his shirt, startling Adam who turned to look at him. Sure, he had seen Assad's bare chest a few times when the man attempted to quickly dress and would move from his bedroom to the living room with just pants on as he struggled to get into a shirt. However, Adam had always turned away, feeling like it was rude to look, but now—

"You too," Assad said, making Adam blink when he felt cool hands on his waist. They moved or took hold off his shirt, pulling at it, until Adam raised his hands up so that Assad could take it off completely.

They only had their shirts off, but Adam felt naked. He was suddenly very self-conscious about how pale and skinny he was. He contemplated covering his chest with his hands, but Assad had already reached out to pull him into a hug.

"Let's lie down," Assad muttered into Adam's ear as he slowly pulled the man down until they were both lying down. They started kissing again, letting themselves touch their now exposed chests. Somewhere along the line, Assad kicked off his shorts and Adam tried his best not to look below his waist.

Assad tugged at Adam's shorts and the older man felt a sudden need to disappear.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want," Assad said as his hand lingered on the waistband of Adam's bottoms. "You need to use your words, okay?" Assad said, and Adam bit down on his lower lip, nodding into Assad's chest.

"You can take them off," Adam said, feeling his insides die from embarrassment as the younger man pulled down his shorts. They were both naked now, just hugging and occasionally kissing under the deep yellow light of the bedroom. Adam couldn't keep his eyes off Assad. The mad body was perfect—firm, strong and warm. He had hair in the right places, and his skin felt like heaven to touch. Adam couldn't believe this man liked him—that this man was touching and kissing him like he was beautiful and delicate.

Assad moved his lips to Adam's neck, and then his chest before raising his head again as he reached between them to grab both their erections. Adam gasped, being reminded of the part of their bodies he had been paying attention to ignore. Assad's touch was warm, and his slender fingers made delicate strokes that made Adam squirm.

"Do you like it?" Assad asked, noticing Adam's shocked expression.

Adam presses his head into Assad's chest, not wanting to look at the man mow. "Y-yes." Adam's voice was muffled in Assad's chest. He shook when Assad resumed his hand movements. Adam tried his best to have some self-control—to be too quick like he had been upstairs, but he couldn't help himself, and once he felt the warm liquid on their groins, he knew what had happened.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," he mumbled, feeling his face warm up. He could have held it in for a bit more. He could have asked how Assad was feeling, that was common courtesy, but the sheer fact that he was being sexual again after many years of taking care of things by himself had overwhelmed him.

"It's okay," Assad said, kissing the older man's forehead, and not long after he came too. Adam had frozen in away at his low moan and deep breaths. He wanted to reach out—hold him, caress and touch him, but he was having one of his episodes where he just couldn't say or do anything.

After that Assad pulled him close, pulling the duvet cover behind him over the both of them. "We can clean up tomorrow," Assad said, pressing a kiss on Adam's forehead before closing his eyes.

Soon after the younger man was asleep, and Adam wondered how he could drift off so easily, especially after what had happened. He theorized that maybe Assad was just used to it. He, however, was not. He stayed up all night, listening to Assad breath as he replayed the events of the night in his head.