😁📖
Do 🚿your ❤⭐✨

Cry with me.

The howling sky thundered as it poured upon the concrete. Alone and stranded, with physical bruises and aches, I stopped short. Isolated from everyone, the flickering street light coruscating through the wet streets, I leaned myself against the wall. Not a care about the dress I adorned, not a care about the dangers lurking around, not a care about my own drenched self, just me and the sky crying along.

But, what was there to cry? Was it even logical to cry?

I knew all along, I was a no one. I knew all along, I wouldn't stand a chance. I knew all along, I should stop. I knew I shouldn't have hoped. I shouldn't have mistaken pity for empathy. I shouldn't have expected him to leave an angel, a perfection for a ragged blanket as me.

Since the start, I was annoying. No one wanted me around. No one wanted me to be with them. But, I was stupid to think it was all just a joke. I was clingy. Because I thought it was normal for friends. I said what I learnt, and I was boring them. I didn't have any juicy gossips, and it was boring them. But I was just a little kiddo, jumping and playing around at the mere age of six or seven. I didn't think much, but I should've.

Another school greeted me. With the same thing. Only with the exception of a constant best friend. The same person, who was always shadowing me. Maybe she didn't mean to, but she always did. Insignificant crushes befriended me to get a chance with her, and then left me with a pinch in my heart. Self doubt and low self confidence were a normal phenomenon. But again, I ignored it as my mother would say, teenage problems.

But then, even she left me with dad to another abode. I was left alone, in depths of self realisation and guilt. Regret of not appreciating them enough, and not spending the little moments with them.

Drowning in my demons, I stopped caring about people. Only she remained. She was there when no one was there, it was only fair I return her favour.

Then, he came. And started another arc of my life, the most scary one, love. It was scary how I was willing to do anything for him, want to live again for him. This accelerated well for a year and then came the doom again. This time, with a double impact.

I had promised myself, to distance myself from everyone. And work hard to have my own name shine up in bold letters for the world to know. Then, maybe my parents would be a little proud of me, rather than suffocating myself with nothingness and jealousy.

And I did.

But I met him.

And the promises went for a toss. Again. Him with her, I knew I should've given up. But the heart wants what it wants.

And now, here I am, back to the start. Broken and hurt, shattered on the pieces of my own heart, bleeding from everywhere, tearing and flowing emotions taking up my mind.

I was so, so weak at the moment. I was crushed by my own self. No one did no harm, it was all me, all along. It was always me, having hopes and expectations, forgetting the outcomes of doing so in the past.

My body trembled as I sobbed hard.

It hurts.

Everything hurts. Why does it hurt? It shouldn't hurt. But it still does. I was used to this, yet it hits harder. It hits so bad, so bad that I couldn't find myself up again.

Why ain't I enough?

Why was she always the better one?

Why can't I have someone love me back, someone want me back truly, just once? I don't ask for more. I don't ask for a palace and a flowery romance. I just want someone with whom I could relish even the smallest of the bread crumbs or the largest of the chicken lollipops.

Why does no one want me here?

And why is it always on the day I was welcomed here? I shouldn't have come here, if I wasn't wanted. Why was nature punishing me in this way?

The sky roared louder with every passing minute as the rain fell upon heavier and heavier than before. The wind blew stronger, its mere brush now felt like a strong push. My face buried in my knees, I felt the chilling cold water drenching me completely, not leaving an inch untouched. I was freezing, but my emotions were freezing harder. I was trembling, but not more than my trembling heart.

Breathing was difficult. And everything was suffocating. A whimper left my lips as I tried caging myself more, to bring me some warmth. The fabric I adorned was completely wet, making it useless in providing me warmth.

With difficulty, I strained my eyes to look upward. It was too dark and the flickering headlight lost its power and dimmed shut.

I felt my throat clogged and I gulp down another sob.

You're annoying us, you know.

.

Please, let us be.

.

Can't you see I am not liking you clinging to me?

.

No one's really asked for your opinion.

.

Well smarty pants, news flash 'no one cares'

.

Just because I asked you for solving my
study doubts, doesn't mean I want to be friends with you.

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You are boring us.

.

Oh hey. Umm, could you give this to that beautiful friend of yours?

.

Mind sharing her number tho?

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She is a nerd. Boring as hell, ugly as fuck.

.

How the hell did he end up with someone like her?!

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He deserved better.

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I am busy Ivy. Please!

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I said I liked it. Stop being upset.

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That goddamn motherfucker couldn't find a better girl could he? I mean, she's boring to hell.

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Leave.

.

We are done.

.

Get rid of that.

.

Yeah, we love each other.

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We don't care about your wellbeing. All we want is that money to be ours.

.

Why is she so cold? She could atleast smile to say the least.

.

Does she always have a stick up her ass?

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I can't work with such mean ass person.

How is she so heartless?

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Beware of us. You'll pay for this.

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Knew it. She was a whore. Money digger.

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Money and power is what she only cares about.

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That woman just goes around sucking dicks and looting money.

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Selfish person.

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She has no value for any fucking thing. She doesn't understand the value of love.

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How long do you think she'll remain, with that personality of hers?

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The least she could do was kindly appreciate our efforts, not insult us every moment. We're trying our best too.

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Die.

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You can't just go around using hyung.

.

You're really sick you know.

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No wonder you disgust me.

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It needs love to show love.

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Orphan.

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Killed your own effing child for a guy who didn't even love you. Hah, pathetic.

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You don't value feelings.

.

You don't have feelings.

I hold my ears shut, but these voices kept on ringing like a broken record. They weren't stopping. They never stopped. They echoed harsher and louder, filling up my mind with their words. My body shook rapidly as another set of sobs built up inside me.

A whimper escaped my lips. It took me a long time, to get over this. But again, I am back to square one. I am back to being a slave to my mind. I am back to surrendering myself to them.

I am just so weak and pathetic.

Always surrendering to love and ending up shattered.

Why can't I learn at once and for all?

Why do I have to stumble and fall face first everytime I find happiness, knowing it is only temporary.

Pathetic.

The voices continued to echo louder and clearer, sending series of aches throughout. I wanted to shout. I wanted to scream till I loose my voice. But no sound left except for the whimpers which found their way out.

Bark.

An unusual shrill sound ringed along. I open my eyes, to meet the darkness of the concrete. Puddles of water laid around, splashing the aggressive raindrops and rippling farther away from each other. Just like the voices merged together and created an unusual, wounding symphony in my mind.

Bark bark.

Again the same shrill sound. I struggled to crane my neck and look around for the source of the sound. My vision was blurry and the heavy rain wasn't really helping.

Bark bark bark.

This time, the sound came from somewhere near to me. I turned my head around, until I felt a wet, furry creature rub itself against me. I unfold my arms and get a better look of the creature. A pair of round eyes stare at me, drenched fully till it felt difficult to walk. But that didn't stop the grin it seemed to have with its tongue lolled out.

It's the same chihuahua, I left with the weapon-ed guards.

It barked again as it wriggled its way towards me, wanting me to take it in my arms.

It pained to see him still coming to me, when I had actually left him to the deathly hallows. It seemed to shiver under the icy weather, but it still managed to keep itself steady and give a bright smile to me.

I sniffled and straightened my back against the wall. I was feeling drained. I was void of energy. Only the heaviness remained. With droopy eyes, I stared at the chihuahua. It was just so tiny. And carefree. His owners left him in the lonely streets, yet he doesn't find himself in his gloom.

Weakly, I stretched my hands and pulled him on my lap. It readily complied and gave me a sickeningly cute smile, one which made his round eyes disappear into straight lines.

I softly caressed his fur, another wave of anxiety hit me. The voices echoing again.

No one wants you here.

They said, a lone tear finding its way out through my tear stained cheeks.

A little paw stroked my cheeks. The dog, lying on my lap, was now trying to stand on its foot and softly tried to stroke my face. The other paw rested on my other cheek as it supported itself.

Who knew that it would the very creatures I hated, who would wipe my tears away?

It let out a soft yelp, his way of asking me to stop me from bawling my eyes.

"Don't." I softly whisper to him. The pitter patter of the rain had somewhat toned down. I sat him beside me. With the support of the rough wall, I found a little strength in my feet to stand up. With some bruises on my elbows which I would survive, I exhaled shakily as the chilly wind brushed past me. The sharp raindrops had reduced down to feathery touches, a wave of shivers running down my spine. I felt my body ache at various places, but the constriction in my chest was the most painful and venomously hurtful. My headache, making me see nothing but the black void. I blinked to proper my blurry vision.

The dog jogged its way in front of me, as it wagged his tail. Seeing me stand motionless, it tugged the edge of my dress urging me to walk. I again caught the hope and expectation it held in his eyes.

He was hoping we were going home.

I could just empathise with it. Despite my feeble body, I bent down and picked it up in my arms. He was completely drenched and considering his small body, he would surely catch cold. I ran my hand through his fur and looked around for any shelter. It was an unfamiliar place for me, but I could hope for someone out of this place.

My feet carried me forward, stepping through the puddles and the mud sloshing the edges of my dress. The chihuahua didn't seize smiling. It looked happy to be going home.

I pursed my lips as I stood at a two way. I strode left, as my body went its way. Fortunately, a diffused light in a near distance caught my eyes. He also seemed to catch sight of it as he let out an excited woof.

Sauntering my way to that direction, I stopped in front of the small brick hut. It seemed like a bakery to me. Maybe they lived and worked at the same time.

I walked towards the door and knocked twice. After a few seconds of wait, a short girl in her twenties peeked through the small opening of the door. Seeing me completely soaked and maybe sick too with a dog in hand, she opened the door wider.

"How can I help you?" She was a feet smaller than me. I looked down at the dog in my hand and back at her. My eyes gazed through the home. It was warm and comfy, enough for him to stay. I caressed him for the last time and placed a small kiss on his forehead. He wouldn't need me again. Because I will never be the one who could take care of him.

I extended the chihuahua and placed it in her hands.

"Please take care of him." My voice came out hoarse. The girl looked up at me and back at the dog.

"It doesn't have any owner. And I...can't take care of him." I explained to her and retraced my hands from his fur.

The girl nodded in acknowledgement and loving patted his back, having a small talk with him. The cold wind became chillier as the night went on. Feeling the itchiness in my nose, I let out a sneeze. Hope I don't catch a cold.

"Wait here." The girl said and rushed inside with the chihuahua. I heard him bark but the girl shushed him. He would finally have a home now.

She came out with a white shawl, which looked thick to keep oneself warm. "You'll need it." She said and gave me a warm smile.

I just nod and wrapped it around my body, allowing the warmth to penetrate through my ice-cold cells. "Thank you." I say, preparing to leave. An excited bark could be heard from the inside.

"...and take care of him." With that, I left. Feeling relieved, that at least he was in good hands.

・。.・゜✭・

Puffy eyes, red in colour, tear stained cheek, what else did I expect to see? I shook my head, turned on the tap and splashed water on my face. Changing into the bath robe that hung on the hanger, I walked out of the bathroom into my new suite.

A single bed, stood in the centre facing the television and a small coffee table alongside the dressing table. It had a small compartment with a coffee/tea maker and a water heater. It wasn't grande, just enough for one person, me.

"Your belongings have been shifted here, Ma'am." The butler handed me the key of my suitcase. I flicked my hand for him to go. Quickly, I changed into my night robe.

Making a cup of hot water, I sat on the soft bed. But the warmth I yearned for, wasn't there. I couldn't go to him again, once I have been...rejected, I leave. There's no benefit in staying after all. I sighed as I rubbed my forehead. My body was aching badly, and I really felt sick. Maybe I could grab an ibuprofen.

Sipping on the water, the earlier icy-ness seemed to tone down, back to normalcy. I looked out of the water-stained window. It was still raining, though with much less vigor. I reached for my phone on the night stand, but it wasn't there. I frowned and looked elsewhere for it, but it wasn't there.

If it wasn't here, it should be in that room.

I shuddered at the thought of going there again. I had enough for a day, I didn't want anymore.

But I couldn't just leave my phone there, could I? Anyway, what was there to lose? I didn't have anything in the first place to lose.

I grabbed the key for my own room and locked it behind me. I caught sight of the butler who came in to deliver my luggage. I asked him for the key and he handed me the spare one.

I glanced at the time. It was already three am. He probably would be sleeping anyway. He wouldn't know about me. He needn't know.

I nibbled on my bottom lip as I stood in front of his suite. I was nervous, but why should I be? I shouldn't be. Or maybe I should be. I don't know. I could feel my heart race at the thought of seeing him. It was only hours ago I saw him, but still the anxiousness never goes.

Unlocking the door, I pushed myself and stepped in as quietly as possible. Only the night lights were on, meaning he had already slept. A little part of me sighed in relief, but there was also this little part of me, who wanted him awake and pull me into his arms telling me what I wanted to hear.

I shook off the irrelevant thoughts and quietly closed the door behind. Walking on my toes, I finally see his body frame, haphazardly spread across the bed. He hadn't changed yet, nor had he removed his shoes. His feet dangled over the edge while his body seemed to be on the brim of falling.

My heart ached looking at him. I loved admiring him so much, that now everything hurts. Everything about him hurts. His baby boy face squished against the mattress making me want to take him on my lap and caress his soft brown locks, loving the way they felt against my fingers.

Vulnerability hit me hard again, as a fresh set of tears formed in my eyes.

No. I came for the phone. I pursed my lips and ran my fingers through my hair as I straightened myself up, determined. To fulfill my purpose and get out.

I walked to the night stand, where my phone laid.

Sighing in relief, I reached for it but something shiny caught my eyes.

And I wished I hadn't seen it.

🥀🖤🥀🖤🥀

This was supposed to be a smol chapter🤡

Anyway, I wonder what did she see?🤔