for reference:

(in italian. i used google translate, ofc it might be wrong so please pardon me🙏)

puttäna: bitch/whore.

stæi zittö: shut the fuck up.

è il tuo occhio adesso, il prossimo sarà il tuo cazzo:  it's your eye now, next will be your dick.

😁📖
Do 🚿 your ❤⭐✨

also, the new cover :)))))))))))

Insane.

Dried paint pulled on my skin as I shrink myself into the farthest corner, my cuffed ankles huddled close to my chest. My limbs were aching, but I couldn't help but glare all the more at the man who was collapsed in front of the prison with his back against the wall as he iced his cheek and thighs. His hair were tousled, and his shirt was abused out of its place. I could see his bare shoulder peeking out, but his uniform laid intact with his belt that carried the logo of the Korean government. His batch was fallen right in front of me, his name emboldened with a stamp unique to the president.

He was the incharge of taking care of the top criminals of the country. His black gear with a gun and a hidden dagger was a proof that he worked closely with the President, probably as his bodyguard.

He breathed out in agony, but right now, his mere presence was angering me. If it wasn't for the other guard steeling my movements, I could've had this rage out. He didn't fight back, nor did he make any effort of blocking my attacks. And he didn't have the right to do so; he had to know how much he had fucked us all up.

Everything started with him. It was only fair he could get a share of what we were going through, I had gone through and am still going through. Selfish move, but I think I deserve this bit of privilege. I might have looked like a mad woman, but I don't have regrets. It was worth it.

He wasn't alone now, the guard who had previously stopped me was whispering harshly to Taehyung. He was pressing ice against his cheek and shoulder, though his lips constantly reeked of curses. His facial features clearly stated, he wasn't a native; maybe an european. His head tilted more too often towards me, making it obvious that he was badmouthing me; moreover his tone grew louder as time ticked.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" The guard  seethed as he gave a sharp glance in my direction. "This puttäna could have killed you if it wasn't for me."

Taehyung stared at me for a second before glowering down at the guard. "I remember correctly about you having a criminal record of selling an illegal weapon. You aren't qualified to glorify your acts, if anything you're worse. Your Italian ass can be transported back to hell."

The guard beside him froze at his words. "Stæi zittö—"

"You can easily be beheaded according to the act number twenty five a and c; for vandalising government property and for selling it off to our rivals disrupting our world peace and environment; that included in act fifteen."

His eyes fluttered around the corners and the walls, a sheet of sweat forming on his forehead. He was clearly intimidated and afraid of what might happen to him. He gritted through his teeth, and in a flash of a second, pulled out his dagger forcing it upto Taehyung's neck. But Taehyung had fast reflexes, as he twisted his hand and pulled him down under him, his long fingers wrapping around the guard's neck. The guard squirmed in his place, his legs kicking at Taehyung's shin, but he remained unperturbed; more concentrated in glaring at the man below him.

"Dare you do that." Taehyung warned. "I have the power to rusticate you."

"Not for long—" He stealthily tried to stab Taehyung, but again lost as his hand was now twisted to the extent that a faint crack could be heard. His dagger fell off his hand just as Taehyung lifted himself and rolled the guard till his cheek pressed against the metal blade and the tip dangerously close to his eye.

"É il tuo occhio adesso, il prossimo sarà il tuo cazzo." Taehyung growled in Italian, and the only words I could perceive was eye and dick. He took away the dagger, stealthily scratching him right under his eye and snapping the blade into two.

"Make sure the doors are locked after you leave. And no one enters this cell except for me. This is my business, let me handle." He kicked the guard's ass and pushed him forth.

The Italian guard grumbled but nonetheless stumbled out and slammed the door shut, followed by loud rattling of chains and locks. Taehyung's fists unclenched as he stared at the closed door and back at me.

As he turned around to face me, I notice blood dripping down from his hand, the one which was gripping hard onto the blade. I bit my inner cheek as I feel sympathy come over me and the need to help him dissolve my anger into worry. That was humane, but I didn't want to be so for him.

He wordlessly stared, though his eyes had visibly softened, he had an emotionless facade on. I mimicked his expression as he slowly opened the opened the lock and entered the cell. I clench my jaw and shrink back, not wanting to be anywhere near him.

I was exhausted; physically, mentally and emotionally. I didn't want to talk to him, and I think I was done with my part of beating the shit out of him for today. I just needed him away from me.

"Stay out." I quietly mutter. His actions stopped as he nodded. Undoing the lock, he shut it back behind him and moved away from sight. I see his shadow under the light as he plopped right at the wall beside the bars.

A few minutes of silence passed. Tired and aching, I slide down on the marble with my knees crouched up to my chest. As my head hits the ground, a wave of drowsiness hit me. Keeping my eyes open for whatever reason, I mindlessly stare at his shadow.

I hear him hiss at times, a trail of water flowing down the edge of the bars. The sound of buckling of belts could be heard. His silhouette could be seen standing tall as he walked a short distance away, stayed there for a second and came back. His shoes soundlessly tapped against the floor as he stationed himself on the wall opposite to me. He didn't say anything, nor did I. But our eyes remained locked into each other's.

Even from afar, under the ceiling lights, I could blindly say he was beautiful. My droopy eyes scanned his features. They sure had sharpened over the years. His eyes still had their unique stretch, when serious looking intimidating and when he smiles, just like he was doing now, they curled up into innocent crescents. His cheekbones shimmed under the lights and so did his jawline tightened to the right amount. He was still ethereal, surely crafted delicately with intricate detailing.

His was the face I was fooled with. But I couldn't help but appreciate its crafting.

I didn't realise my eyes shutting close until my mind wobbles into the thoughts of him. I wasn't a fool. Jungkook knew this was to happen, Jungkook knew shit was gonna go down and he let it happen because he had a back up plan. In which, I was surely not a part of. And that upset me. Just the last few days, I had thought we had everything set, no secrets, no ifs no buts. Just us.

But he clearly had a lot in his mind. He clearly didn't share something which I have a bad feeling about now. Him suddenly asking about trust, him suddenly confessing, was somehow indicating he had something up his sleeve. He had knowingly staged the entire thing.

But why?

Couldn't we have had a civil conversation and maybe come to a mutual understanding of whatever we knew?

You weren't really being open with him as well. Even you knew shit was gonna go down, you let it hide behind the happiness y'all had. My conscience whispered. I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

But I was still willing to fight against it, wasn't I? Couldn't he have fought it too? We could have both done it together right? Why was he stepping back after everything?

Something had to be forcing him. My gut said it wasn't pretty, at all.

.・゜゜・·

A splash of cold water jerked me awake. My chains rattled against each other as I huddle my knees close. The temperature of the room seemed to have dropped down by a few degrees. I could feel the cold marble touching my shoulder, the one that was hurt. Another splash hit my face as I slowly squint my eyes open. Dark kohled eyes viciously stare down at me with a bottle of chilled water in her eyes.

"Bitch's awake." The sinister voice of Jaebi resounded as she turned her head to look at someone behind her. She capped the neck and looked down at the empty bottle, before smirking and accidentally throwing it at my face. I bit my tongue and sit myself up. I glance at Taehyung whose fists were balled up, ready to pounce on every person here and the heels of the only person I knew who would customise every detail of it.

Maelyn Fernsby.

Her heels tocked as she stood closer and sophistically sat on the stool she pulled on from behind. Crossing her leg over the other, her heels faced right at my face. I stare at her through my lashes, my hairs sticking onto my head, a dull ache spreading throughout my body.

If she had come to visit me with people around, I could guess that I had already spent a day here. As if on cue, my stomach growled loud.

"Tsk tsk tsk." She laughed as she propped on her elbow, her caked face staring at me. I scrunch my nose as her strong perfume hit my nostrils, making me gag at the amount of musk she had put on herself. "How were the days when you could get what you wanted at just one click?" She clicked her fingers while passing me a shrewd look. I glare at her to which she laughed and leaned back.

"Feeling the hunger right?" Her heels tipped at my chin, forcing me to face her. I jerk my chin away from her and straightened my back, keeping my facade up.

"About time, about time." She waved her hand. "It was bound to happen, right from the moment you fucked with us."

"I never did. Y'all were meant to go down." I curtly retort back. She raised her brow and snuck her stiletto under my chin again. The black sole of her feet stuck in front of my face, the strong smell of resins hitting my olfactory nerves.

"Now, now. Know where you are. And where I am." I clench my jaw as her kohled eyes lit up in amusement.

"You're just the filth of my shoe, you seemingly have forgotten that." She rubbed the sole on my face. I snarl, struggling against the cuffs. She laughed heartily, her high pitched voice resonating throughout the chamber. She removed her soles away from my face, still keeping it very close to me. I glare at her as her leg dangled over her knee.

"But well, in such a desperate time, I don't see your sugar daddy around." She comically leaned forward, her saggy breasts peeking from underneath. "Tired of your püssy?"

Anger bubbled inside me as I pushed my legs upwards and flipping her dangling stilettos, causing it to hit right on her face. The chair screeched against the marble floor as she stood up with a start, with one heel on while the other on her side.

"It'd be fair if you'd learn to close your legs rather than talk about mine." I seethed at her. She eyed me down, her dark eyes piercing through mine, her jaws clenching hard enough to crack her botox-ed face.

"You bit—" Jaebi was about to pounce on me when Taehyung held her hand from behind. Twisting it around, he glowered down at the woman. Visibly gulping, she tried to free herself but Taehyung had it this time. He whispered something into her ears, just as her face grew pale. She stopped struggling and chewed on her bottom lip before Taehyung left her hand and pushed her away from the scene. She stomped out as fast as she could, not caring about the audience staring at her.

Just as she turned around the corner, Maelyn crouched down, gripping on my chin with her nails digging onto my cheek. Her dark red lipstick blinded my eyesight as she leaned closer.

"You sure got a tongue huh? Do you realise what I can do, now that you're here, all weak and powerless?" She snarled at me.

"I got a tongue enough to slit through your filth, I don't need power for it." I could feel her nails digging deeper; I was sure my skin had deep crescents, on the verge of bleeding.

"Eha? What if I vanish your property, your dirt company like whoosh?" She gripped my chin up. "Have you forgotten what my husband is capable of?"

I chuckle. "This is the time you remember your so-called husband huh?"

Rage flashed in her eyes as she left her grip from my chin and slapped me hard on my cheek. The sharp sting tingled down my nerves, I feel my fingers trembling to fight back, but they were held back by these locked chains. My face turned to the side as my eyes shut close. I hear boots pad against the floor and stand close to us.

"Mrs. Ferns—"

"You think you can slap and shut me up?" I interrupted Taehyung before he could say further. My eyes remain strained on the marbled floor, sweat dripped and drenched with cold water, my hair stick annoyingly on the side of my face and my forehead.

"Years went by, I let you frame me as you want. I surely can't stop you now. But.." I glare at her as adrenaline pulsated through my veins. "..never talk about anything I love with that mouth of yours. You're yourself nothing, but a cougar feeding on her husband's money."

She was ready to pounce on me again, but her embarassment got the best of her as she tripped on her own feet and fell face first on the ground right in front of my legs. Taehyung stepped back, his long legs standing tall beside me.

A chortle escapes my lips. "You're nothing but the dirt of my feet. And your money and power can only sustain your illusion. Learn to open your eyes and see around. Who knows someone might take shit right outta your nose."

Her fists clenched as she craned her neck up. "I'll get to you." Her neck veins popped as she gritted through her teeth. I couldn't help but chuckle again. "Funny how I am the one tied up here."

"Mrs. Fernsbie, may I show you out?" Taehyung extended his hand out for her to take, just as she parted her lips to retort back at me. I eyed him up for a second before turning away and shrinking back towards the wall. Closing my eyes, I turn my head away from them. I hear Maelyn grit in frustration before her heels loudly click against the marble and the bars rattled loud as they were slammed shut.

A few minutes passed as my hormones calmed down, my cheek stinging hard and the freezing temperature raising goosebumps on my skin. I rub my thighs together, my toes pulled the loose pants down to cover myself completely. My back pressed against the cold wall, did nothing good than to add up to the cold. I belatedly realise how drenched I was, with water trickling down my hairline and my frontal cranium bearing the low temperature. I was vaguely aware of the faint ache on my wrists and ankles, and the bluing of my lips.

It didn't do well as my stomach growled unmercifully. I grind my teeth to give myself warmth and illude into eating something, but it did worse as I was reminded of Jungkook serving the plates and feeding me with his own hands, while I do my work absentmindedly.

'tired of your püssy?'

Her words reverberated through my mind. I knew Jungkook wasn't like that, he could never be. But isn't that just ironic? Wasn't the coincidence a thing to laugh about? I didn't know if it was me, or it was him alone. Or maybe it was just my desperation of finding out why. I was jumping to baseless conclusions when there was seriously a lot going on underneath.

I breathe out and bury my head into my knees.

A thick woolen blanket with tendrils of fabric dangling at the edge wrapped around me, covering my crumbled body from head to toe. I was instantly welcomed with its warmth just as a shadow crouched in front of me. My fingers gripped onto it as I lift my head up and look at him.

He was so close, close enough to make a detailed description of his intricate features. Gone were the childhood soft blend from his features, gone were the eccentricity of his blemishes. Now presented was a sharp, carefully sculpted man with a perfect tip of a nose, the perfect curvature of his eyebrows, the perfect stretch of his eyes even with the unique beauty of a monolid and a double lid. His cupid bow depressed into the cleavage of a heart, plumping his lips perfectly in the middle and narrowing to the side. The ceiling lights shadowed on his cheekbones, his jawline manifested as a play slide. He surely had done a little something to his hairstyle, pushed back and curved up while falling straight behind his ears.

If perfection had a personification, it surely was him. Kim Taehyung.

"You were shivering." He broke the silence as he sat in front of me, casually resting his hands on his knees. I huddle the blanket tighter as I look away from him. He sighed at that.

"Today's the first snow, though it was expected to be a week later. So, the heater wasn't set." He explained himself, a soft smile beautifying his lips. I knew what was the reason of the smile, I knew it because it was something we'd always look upto, every year.

We stood under the sky, the blanket of snow under the soles of our bare feet mesmerizing the landscape. The small balls kissed our skins as we stare up, huddled close to each other against the freezing weather. Drenched strands of hair stick to the side of my face, while his bangs cover his forehead completely.

It's the first snow of the year, our first snow together. My lips stretched into a wide smile, my pearly whites camouflaging with the white scenery painted. We didn't know it was gonna snow today, pardon our meteorological knowledge. Dress in a pair of casuals thick enough to protect us from the autumn winds, we now sunk in the shower of snowflakes with goosebumps on our skin but the bliss of togetherness in our minds warming us up.

"It's so beautiful." I whisper under my shaky breath as I huddle tighter against his arm.

"I know." He croaked back huskily. I look up to find him staring down at me longingly. I blush and avert my eyes as I stare at the thin sheet of snow on the ground. The park was unusually quiet, the low rustling of the leaves and the faint rumbling of the sky could be heard aloud.

"Just like you." I shyly mutter. I didn't have the courage to look at him, I knew I would flush deep red and get lost in his bewitching eyes. Or maybe his entire self.

"I ain't beautiful. I am handsome." He scoffed and rubbed his chin dramatically. I made a face and separate myself from him.

"Way to ruin it." I grumble and start walking towards our way home. I hear him chuckle aloud and follow me as his shoes pad on the ground.

I gasp when his arms wrap around my waist from behind, engulfing us in his embrace. His cheek pressed against mine as he rested his chin on my shoulders. I blush furiously at his gesture. I wasn't used to any relationship shit, I didn't know how to react. And shamefully confessing, it had already been four months. My cold palms place themselves over his knuckles nervously as he swayed us from side to side.

I feel his chin raise up. Following his gaze, I realise the snowflakes no longer hitting our skin, instead the thin branches of the mistletoe hover over us, watching over us.

"Cliché eh?" His chest rumbled as he mused under his breath. I couldn't help but smile as butterflies flutter in my tummy.

"You know what they say about this.." I bit my lip as I stare up at him, my heart thudding at the base of my throat. I feel a sense of relief flush through me as I realise his heart racing as fast as mine; I wasn't the only one.

His face neared mine, slowly closing the gap between our faces. I see his eyes strained down on my lips, as mine stare at his. With adrenaline and multiple hormones pulsating through my veins, I part my lips as his does. Our cold breaths hit our pink tissues sending shivers down my spine. His lips hovered a millimetre over mine, faintly brushing against it making my knees go weak and unsteady.

Finally cutting the chase, he captured my mouth into his, our eyes syncing close as we tasted each other.

We shared our first kiss under the mistletoe on the day of the first snow of the year. And since then, it had been a ritual. Our ritual.

Nostalgia hit me hard, knocking me over at the back of my head. I could see it reminded him of it as well. But it faded into anger as I was reminded of the fact that it could've been Jungkook, my first love if it wasn't for his coy plot. I take a deep breath and face him.

"What are you trying to prove huh?" With all these sweet and creamy gestures, typically fighting for me, saving me from humiliation, I didn't want any of that. Not from him. Not anymore.

"What-?" He frowned looking genuinely confused.

"What are you trying to prove with all these -‘heroic acts’? Fighting with the hunk, shooing that officer out, walking Maelyn out, wrapping this-" I gesture down at the fabric. "-this shawl around me, trying to make a conversation with me..I don't know what're your intentions this time. Are you tryna get into my mind again? Is this you playing your sly tricks again, just like you did five years ago?"

"I, I.." He parted his lips for a second before pursing them back. His eyes drifted off elsewhere as his fingers raked through his hair.

"Guess that confirms. You really know everything." He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and glanced down. His hand found something in his pocket, pulling it out and revealing the small silver key.

He leaned down, and without second thoughts, unlocked the cuffs around my ankles. I feel blood gush in through the sensitive areas, a tinge of pain around the blackened skin. I flinch when his fingers trace the bruise but push his hand away with the other leg. He kept his hand hovering near my leg before placing it down.

"If you've figured it all out,–" He started. "–didn't it cross your mind that..." His saddened eyes held mine. "..that maybe I had a different viewpoint there?" A lone tear stroking his well defined cheek. I instantly look away from him. I find strength in my legs as I stand up and walk round him, facing the bars as the shawl kept in its place. My cuffed hands fisted on it.

I was reminded back of the video where his eyes had rolled back with blood dripping from the corner of his lips. I was reminded of how he didn't fight back as Jungkook punched and thrashed him around. I was reminded of his cascading tears, the raw helplessness he held in his eyes. I was reminded of how he didn't block me nor did he stop me even when I kicked him in places that surely was bruised hard.

But this was all his guilt. He had it in him, he could've prevented this all. The world we were seeing now, maybe could've been much simpler and straightforward.

"What's your viewpoint here huh?" I seethed. How could he talk about viewpoints now? Now when he had messed everything up? Now when nothing can cure anything back? How could he have the nerve?

"Backstabbing your own brother by taking away the girl he had probable feelings for? Fooling a naive girl who had no idea what the hell was going on around her?—"

"I was insane okay!" He raised his voice, letting it resonate through empty cell. "I was fucking insane for you." He added as I hear the metal key clink against the wall. "I was addicted to you, I wanted everything of you. I was ready to sit and stand on your demand, I was ready to let a truck run over me for you. I was insane to the extent I didn't realise, I didn't want to realise I was torturing you or anyone." He breathed hard. I hold on tight onto the shawl, no longer feeling the glacial cold on my skin. My gaze fixated on the individual bars trying to make sense of everything.

"I was blinded with this insanity. My blood boiled when you talked to him with my name, I always knew he had that charm in him. But my insanity used the vile of tricking you. I didn't want to know how wrong it was, I was just satisfied when I had you with me. You don't realise the immense happiness I had when I held you in my arms; even when I felt the pain of my other half, I felt complete with you."

I hear him breathe hard. I could feel his stare at the back of my neck, the intensity was enough to drill through me. I reflected on what all he had said.

A choked chuckle escaped my lips. "You, you were insane? For me?" My lips curve up sarcastically. "That surely explains why my boyfriend chose to cheat on me with my best friend. And that explains how you could sell off the only piece of my...caretakers' to their selfish brothers. That really explains why he didn't want a family and forced that little sunshine to...to die before it could see the world eh?" My vision blurred as I remembered myself standing in front of the abortion clinic with my palm over my flat tummy. I remembered thinking twice, thrice and more before swallowing the pill. I remember holding the final success report in my trembling hands.

I still feel the disgust of murdering someone. I still felt the disgust of not having the courage to have brought it up as a single mother.

"Do you realize your insanity made me what I am today? You stole my happiness, squeezed it into a bottle and threw it away into the deep ocean. You made me blame the beauty of love, because you broke me so, that I couldn't bring myself to gather the pieces anymore." I turn around to face him. My cheeks had tears I hadn't realised had escaped.

"It's sad that even though I didn't fall for you at first, I did later. I got used to you but maybe you had different plans. So even if I could've forgiven you, I can't. Because now, I can just despise you." Our eyes allowed the unspoken words to flow through the tension in between us.

We both knew nothing could heal us. It was a vain effort, for nothing could make everything disappear. The wounds will remain and the salt will kept on adding on it, no matter what.

"I know." He mumbled, breaking the eye contact first. "I know some sweet words or heroic actions cannot heal anything. But..." He bit his lower lip as another tear flowed. "..you cannot expect a broke, insecure, jealous man to not be scared when at gunpoint. Not when he had wires around his head and his beloved on the verge of being kidnapped and, I don't even want to know what else."

What?

"Jinae wasn't normal and all, and she had surely tried to strangle me. But that wasn't it. What the big picture was, was even unknown to her petty mind. I wouldn't have known it if I hadn't followed that blue eyed man. And that day, I was revealed of everything, about the real meaning of the bracelet we had and whatever twisted connection your life had. I had tried telling Jungkook, but it turned out bad the first time. Thankfully, he was willing to listen the second time, though not directly from me." He explained everything in one breath. His eyes held mine as he kneeled down before me and bowed his head.

"I was a coward, a fearful guy who was new to everything and didn't know what to do and what not. So I just pushed everything and everyone away. I thought that would be the safest way. And I despise myself the most for this." He breathed out loud and placed both his hand on either side of my feet.

"But here I am on my knees begging for you to despise me a little less. Just so you let me breathe and walk without this clog in my system." His voice cracked. My throat felt dry as he was kneeled in front of me.

“I am sorry Choi Ivy. Allow me to redeem the least of all I have done by being just a little good to you, now.”

🖤🖤🥀🖤🖤