(telling a memory)

As I stood infront of this mirror I realized that I was nothing.
As the tears rolled down my cheeks I realized that I as a person was too weak to go on.
Me the one who never asked for help.
Me the one who was the shoulder to cry on.
Me the one who everyone came to for guidance but was yet to be guided.
Me the one who was now the weakest of them all.

I spent the next 4 hours crying by myself. No one was there to comfort me or to tell me that everything was going to be okay. I realized on this day that if I were to say my final goodbye I'd have no one to call or text. All I had was myself and that's how I thought it would be until I entered the grave.

I've felt this way since the age of 11..that's considered such a young age to feel this hurt. I still don't know why, I mean I have everything I could need. A mother who's busy but still makes time for me, a father who's in the picture..he doesn't do much but he's still here. Three younger siblings who I take care of and 2 older siblings that live across the street from us. But in the end all these people and yet they don't sense the agony that I feel

The year of 2018 was the hardest I was going on to the tenth grade. This is where it all started.

I felt like I was in one of those 2000s American movies. You know what i'm talking about, I was the new kid so everyone stared and nobody spoke to me they only spoke of me. I sat in the back of class by myself for the first 4 months until HE came up to me. Jeon Jeongguk I thought he was talking to me as a dare of some sort..but turns out he wanted to actually get to know me. So like any normal person would I introduced myself "Hi i'm yl/n y/n and i'm 15" nothing too much I mean I barely knew the guy.

Present day
"So like I was say-"

"Alright Y/n your hour session is up for today. I hope to see you next week. Also don't forget your assignments I want you to ask and answer 3 questions you have for yourself."
Just like that nobody cares about what I have to say anymore. I grab my coat and phone before I decide to get up from the couch in my therapist's office. I do a quick stretch, that couch isn't very comfortable that thing gives me back pain.

"Okay, thank you Mrs.Kim have a nice day. I'll send you the assignments"

I was bluffing, every assignment that was handed to me I never turned in. It's been like this since High school. The teacher would pass out work and I would promise to do it. Next day at school an excuse would come out if my mouth saying why my work isn't done.That all changed shortly after because now I had a meaning to do good in school. All because of My Yellow
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Author notes

I know I said that there would be no more stories written by me BUT I had an idea. Why not write a story that would hurt my feelings. A strory that feels my needs unlike the others. So I did

plus i know that some people will eat this story up like their favorite food no matter how bad it is
p.s english is not my main language i use😩☝🏾