Chapter 8: Useless

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[Frozen Wind of My Soul, Come Forth-Chill]

*Cli-*

I promised Mephis that I would show him my chantless magic the next time I saw him. That I would show him I wasn't useless.

I was wrong.

I am useless.

I can't change anything.

I can already see it happening.

My focus is distracted when I see myself failing the spell in the future.

Then the spell fizzles for real-

*Thud*

"NOOOO-!" My scream is mixed with his gasp. A blade enters Mephis's robe at the shoulder just as I saw it happen a second ago. The worthless gust of cold air I summoned has failed to blow away the dagger.

"Kkrrr..." Mephis grinds his teeth, holding his robe over the knife as his face turns white. His scarlet eyes snap around to his left, and find the source of our doom. He seems remarkably calm for a man who has a knife in his body. However, as someone who knows him, I can tell that he is anything but. Mephis is preparing to kill. He calls out into the shadowy trees, "So...you knew I'd go back to the village."

"It was too obvious." Someone else enters the picture. Coming out of the forest like a ghostly mirage, he has dark brown trousers and a tight shirt which conceals a small body. A tattered bandana winds around his face, but doesn't cover his dark eyes which stare out under us from his short black hair. "I've been waiting for you to make a move for two years now. Did you really think I wouldn't notice that something has changed? Mephis Blood-lock...I'm disappointed. I thought you'd understand me better than that."

"Heh...I don't understand the minds of twisted scum like you." Mephis grunts and turns to face the newcomer. "Jarold Westblade, why is an Enforcer all the way out here. How much did they have to pay you? I wasn't even aware that Lian's enemies had this much money!" My guardian is breathing heavily, he's trying to hide the pain, but his tense face cannot conceal everything. I have to do something...anything! Mephis is hurt, he can't do this alone! Think! THINK!

"Heh, you know what I've never understood about you, Mephis?" Jarold Westblade takes off his bandana. Underneath a pale face, with a small scar on his cheek, greets us. The tip of his small nose curves as he grins. "You're a Blood-lock. A beast who could conquer a kingdom singlehandedly if you just stopped holding back. And yet here you are. Playing nursemaid to a Blackrose Child. To be honest, I don't even care about him. I'll take him because I'm being paid, but I want you to know, the real reason I accepted this job was you."

"You'd kill an innocent child just to satisfy some sort of sick fantasy?" Mephis growls back while clutching his shoulder. He doesn't remove the knife, maybe he's scared of bleeding out. I think I read about that in my past life. Drawing his sword with his right hand, Mephis stays hunched over, but manages to put on a furious smile. "Let me get this straight. You, an Enforcer from Meirkeep, are jealous of me, a cursed Blood-lock fated to die in sin. That's why you're here?"

"Heh...bingo." The assassin's grin swallows us all up in his gaze, like a cat eyeing a whole chicken, "As someone born without the talent for magic, I had to work to obtain my skills. And even now, I couldn't match you if you had applied yourself. But you don't. Everyone talks about Mephis the Blood Warlock. Everyone fears him. And yet you're weak! A piece of trash who doesn't use or polish his skills! I can't abide it. Not one bit. You're wasting your potential!"

"So, your grudge is just with me then. I see." Mephis sighs heavily, the fake smile slipping from his face. He turns to me. And he leans down and whispers in my ear, "I never imagined that my involvement would cause the danger to increase for you, Kid. I'm sorry."

"N-No! It's not your fault, Mephis! Just...hold on, we'll fight him together!" I whisper back, but he just raises the white fingers of his left hand, his bad arm and points weakly in the direction we were running. "Mephis?"

"Go. He doesn't care about you. Get to Boar's Village, and keep going. Hide your tracks in the crowds, don't leave a clear trail once you get there. Use the letter, I left a map inside to find Lian's friends. I'll hold him off and follow after." Mephis is lying to me. For the first time ever, I'm sure of it. You're lying! You don't plan on following at all!

"No! No way! I know you're just saying that!" I try to refuse, but he just shakes me and the effort to move his bad arm makes him turn even whiter. "P-Please...don't do this! I can help! We can fight him together!"

"Just too strong, Kid. Maybe in a few years it would have been possible for you. Because you're a genius. Get stronger. Find a teacher and train your magic until people like Jarold Westblade are just trash to you. Now..." He closes his eyes for a second. When he opens them again, the scarlet gleam is intense, bloodthirsty. It even makes me want to step back for a second. "Go on ahead. You're always so careful Kid. I know you can do this. Don't leave any traces once you get to the village. I'll try to get to Lian's friends if I can get away, but don't expect me to show up anytime soon. Don't worry...I'm Mephis the Blood-lock. It's like he said...I'm a monster. And monsters...are hard to kill! I won't die easily!"

"...But-!"

"GO!"

He shoves me away with a groan and I have no choice but to obey. I was always a coward. Always creeping in the shadows in my past life, scared of ghosts and invisible enemies. I plotted and schemed so I never had to confront anyone directly. Relied on the future to take care of the present. But this time...I can see what's coming and I can't do anything about it.

I can't change anything.

All I can do is what I've done my whole life.

Obey Mephis.

Rely on Mephis.

Believe in Mephis.

And run!

#

"Come on then, Jarold. You and me...why don't we have a fight then!" Mephis challenges the Enforcer as I run away. I hear something metallic flying through the air towards me-

*Clang*

"Tch...not bad to stop one of my throwing knives. Guess you have some skills after all." Jarold sounds excited rather than annoyed, "I'll take care of the kid after I'm done with you then. Let's do it...you have my undivided attention!"

*Clang Clang Clang*

The sounds of a vicious swordfight break out behind me, but I do not stop. I just run straight in the direction Mephis pointed me. Forever and ever, I run, though it is only perhaps ten minutes before I break into a staggering walk.

*Toc*

My foot snatches on a root and I fall facedown into the loamy trail.

Oof!

Dirt covers my face and I sprawl out on the ground. My face hurts. I think I'm bleeding. It's too dark. I need some light. Looking up, the stars have begun to come out and I gaze at them, trying to remember which ones Mephis told me to follow to get to Boar's Village. Grabbing a dead branch from the ground, I shout out the invocation for Burn-

[Flaming Ember of My Desire, Burst Forth-Burn]

The tip of the branch bursts into flame and becomes a torch. Getting up, I put a hand in the dirt and stand once more. Okay...I think it's this way! Follow the tip of the Centaur's Bow. And that should go to the village! Once again, I start running, though more carefully this time. There are no more sounds of battle from behind me, I've long since gotten out of earshot of the fight. However, alone at night, without Mephis, for the first time the Dead Forest seems creepy. It has been my home my whole life. Practically my playground. But right now, each tree seems to hide a potential assassin and every shadow is a dagger flitting out into my naked neck.

No...gotta stay focused. Calm...calm down!

Do you think Mephis is winning?

He had a dagger in his shoulder.

Can that be treated in this world?

It's all my fault.

If I could have done chantless magic this wouldn't have turned out so bad...

What if he's already...

No! NO! Stop! Just run! Obey Mephis and run!

I focus on that one thought and keep going. He told me not to stop until I reached Sines Town and I'm going to do exactly that.

I won't stop.

I'll just keep going.

Until he catches up!

"Haa-h...ha.." Each breath is a laborious effort. My short legs are lead, heavy and useless. I curse myself for being so small, so worthless. Though to be honest, my old body never experienced conditioning like Mephis's training. That body probably wouldn't do much better than this one. The night eats away at my courage and disrupts my focus, but my goal is simple.

Run. RUN. RUN!

Though I want to peek at the future, I dare not waste what energy I have to check for possible ambushes. If anyone else is here, I'm probably dead even if I see them coming. My only hope is to get to the town and from there, try to find my mother's friends. I have no idea how long I run. Or how I manage to keep going, stopping and starting every time I run out of breath. When the wooden walls of the village come into view, I almost choke on my own spit. There it is!

Boar's Village is not well guarded. There are several roads in and out, and at this time, right after sunset, only a few travelers are leaving. I burst through the people exiting the village, ignoring the guards who tell me to slow down. Fortunately, they do not try to stop me, besides shouting some warnings. Once inside the walls, I shove my hand down my breast pocket and find the red envelope which Mephis left me. Tearing it open, there are several pieces of parchment inside. The first thing is a map, and I am grateful. Circled in bold is the tree hut in the dead forest, a compass to show North and South, as well as instructions for what stars will tell me which direction I am going, just in case I forgot. Another area, circled in red, is Boar's Village which is where I'm at now. A long way off, maybe five or six times the distance I've already traveled, and slightly to the Southwest, is a place labeled Sines Town. It's circled several times and Mephis has put "Go Here!" in big letters just to be sure I know that's the way to my mother's friends.

Okay...Sines Town! That's where I need to go. It's to the Southwest, which means that I should look to the Centaur's Bow Constellation. That will take me South. And then I should turn...a little right! Look for a road that bends to the right!

I hustle through the village without pausing to admire the sights. The ground has been paved with cobblestones which I am grateful for. It means that my footprints will disappear in this village. I duck behind alleyways, trying to stay out of sight as much as possible. This is my first time in almost five years seeing other people of this world besides Mephis, but I don't have time to really examine them closely. The impression I get is that they are poor. Perhaps it is just this village, but their clothing is depressed and drab, mostly just brown and rustic woodsmen's outfits. Boar's Village is a place mainly used by trappers who hunt Mud Boars and sell their meat and pelts. It's not very wealthy and that shows.

Gradually, I make my way to the South exit of the village without attracting too much attention. It's a chance to regain my breath a little bit, but my panic and fear makes it hard to relax. My stamina doesn't recharge very well under such conditions. Relax! RELAX! Everything's going to be okay! Finally, I catch sight of an opening in the crappy wooden walls which Boar's Village uses to keep out beasts. That's it! But there are guards. They won't stop me...but they'll see me leaving. My head cocks. It's a problem. If Jarold Westblade manages to get past Mephis, it'll be pretty easy to ask the guards if they saw a child running through here at night. I'll definitely be remembered! Ugh...but I can't wait very long! Do I try to find an opening, or just rush through and pray for the best?

Hiding behind a barrel near the gates, I observe the guards on the ramparts. There are only two sentries with crude wooden spears at their sides. They stand in a small platform up on the wall and watch over the road. Right now, they're facing away from me, since I'm inside the village. A distraction...I need a distraction or something! Wait...I have an idea! Running away from the South Gate, so it's not too obvious, I go a little more to the center of the village. Maybe it's not a very nice way to get things down, but I don't have time for something more elegant!

I find a hay bale sitting inside a wooden wagon. It's very dry, perfect for what I have in mind.

This will work!

[Flaming Ember of My Desire, Burst Forth-Burn]

Chanting quietly, I look up and down the street to see if anyone is watching. There are a few people around but since it's getting dark, no one is close. Within a few seconds, the big pile of hay rapidly catches fire! Orange flames lick their way up the dry stalks and soon the whole thing bursts into flame.

Not good enough. This won't attract enough attention. Then I can only do this!

[Stormy Breeze of My Loneliness, Gather Forth-Gust]

*Whoosh*

Instantly, a huge rush of wind comes out of nowhere and scatters the flaming hay into the sky! More...MORE!

[Stormy Breeze of My Loneliness, Gather Forth-Gust]

[Stormy Breeze of My Loneliness, Gather Forth-Gust]

[Stormy Breeze of My Loneliness, Gather Forth-Gust]

I cast it repeatedly until a veritable tornado of flaming hay swirls around my head.

"Hey! Fire! Everyone FIRE!"

"Call the brigade!"

By the time people look down from the fiery conflagration, I'm already gone. Down the alleyways and rushing back to the South gate. As I creep closer, I hear a hurried pair of footsteps rushing away from the wall.

"Damnit what the hell is going on? Get water, can anyone cast water magic?!" When I get to the exit, the sentries are already gone. In such a small village, where half the buildings are made of extremely flammable wood, arson is a class A emergency. Without looking twice, I dart through the South gate and escape the village. The road splits two ways, and I take the one which curves to the right. Accelerating, I ignore Mephis's advice and take a look back. A great smoke cloud is rising in the air, and orange lights flicker in the sky as people shout for help. Damn...that's a big scene. It'll be obvious that something happened. But whatever, the assassin already knows I was going to Boar's Village.

My heart pounding from the effort, I escape into the darkness and leave Boar's Village behind. Hopefully no one saw me, and I bought some time if I'm being pursued. As instructed, I do not stop for anything. I just keep going without sleeping. My mind is hazy. I've been spoiled since Mephis always takes the watch and let's me sleep more. Within a few hours, after casting so much magic and running until the moon is high in sky, I'm exhausted. How much further? If Mephis's map is accurate, it may be two days travel to Sines Village. I don't know if I can stay awake that long. This body is too weak.

I carry on, my whole body feeling empty and lightheaded. Fortunately, I'm used to walking very long distances while hunting beasts in the Dead Forest. However, eventually, I need to slow down and conserve my stamina. If I keep going at this pace, I'll drop dead! Though I itch to walk faster, I know that would be counterproductive. The night is spooky without Mephis. As I travel further out of the Dead Forest, the blighted rot of whatever catastrophe struck down the trees, begins to thin away. The vegetation around here is more-healthy, and there is this creepy, rustling noise which at first makes the hairs on my neck stand up.

What is that?

Then I realize that it's the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. In the Dead Forest, the trees rarely have any leaves left, but here, the forest is covered in foliage. Shaking my head, I do my best to ignore it and keep walking. Soon the bright moon falls from the sky and for a while there is absolute darkness. I have to grab another branch and waste more energy casting Burn to make a torch. When the sky begins to lighten and I spy the sun coming over the horizon, I cast my makeshift torch aside, making sure to throw it far away from the trail so that anyone coming this way won't see it. Then I keep going...

And going...

And going...

All through the last vestiges of night and into the day. It is a lonely road I walk. Boar's Village is not exactly a tourist destination so no one is coming towards me from the other way. Sometimes I think of Mephis and wonder if he's okay. But like I said, I have always avoided conflict in both my lifetimes. I'm so useless. Letting Mephis fight all my battles for me. At least in my last life I saved that girl...wait...

*Ta-*

My footsteps pause for a moment.

"There was a girl. Wasn't there?" I say it out loud because I'm so confused to remember such things. The Dead Forest, learning magic, swordsmanship, surviving assassins, it's been so long since I've really thought of my last life properly. Sure, there have been a lot of things going on, but how could I have forgotten how I ended up here? What happened after I stitched her wounds? Did I die after going to sleep? I always assumed I did, but do I really have proof? I...I don't understand. How could I forget something so important?

My mind stretches, and for a second, I realize that I've started unconsciously trying to look into the future. Immediately I stop, before I use up too much energy. Lurching forwards, I stumble as I start moving again. I can't afford to take a moment to think, no matter how much I want to right now. It doesn't matter, regardless of what happened back then, this is now. Still...it feels like I've been dreaming. I've come to accept magic and monsters, but this...this isn't normal is it?

All this thinking is crushing my sense of reality. Using your brain uses energy and energy is not something I can spare at the moment, so I have to stop thinking. I stow these memories to analyze later and focus on the road. As the sun rises and sets and night begins to come back, I start to feel incredibly hungry. A tired ache gnaws at the pit of my stomach and every muscle in my body isn't just sore...but so...so...weak. The problem isn't just that I've been walking for so long without sleep, I can handle that, but that I've used so much mana as well.

At some point, I probably started tapping into my stamina to cast spells and peek into the future. The resulting headache is extremely unpleasant and each step I take reminds me that I am accumulating a debt to my body. Shooting pain runs through my temples, but every time I think of stopping, I remember the sound Jarold Westblade's knives made while flying through the air and keep going.

First day...complete!

I huff, not stopping as the sun completely disappears and the moon says hello again. This is the longest my young body has ever stayed up before, and I can feel my head nodding and tilting as I start to drift off sometimes. N-No! Stay awake! Biting my tongue, I crane my neck to look back down the road. It's dark, though there's enough moonlight to see the reeds swaying alongside the path. When I try to light another torch, a horrible pain runs through my head like lightning-

[Flaming Ember of My Desire, Burst Forth-Burn]

A rush of hot sparks comes out of my fingertips, but the branch fails to ignite.

"Damnit! Come on! FOCUS!"

[Flaming Ember of My Desire, Burst Forth-Burn]

This time, I get it to work. The branch ignites. However, the effort is too much. I feel my consciousness begin to flicker.

N-No! Stay awake! Mephis said to keep running!

"I will not fall asleep!" I yell out defiantly and slap myself awake. My mouth doesn't work properly, it's all cottony and dry. "Get up! GET UP!" Screaming at myself, I manage to get back to my feet and hold the torch out. Stumbling like a drunk man, I keep going, not caring that I'm probably leaving a very obvious trail in the dirt of the path. The only thing on my mind is getting to Sines Town and my mother's friends. Maybe...maybe they can help me save Mephis?

"Y-Yes. Thaaat...might...woooork." The words seem to stretch out as they come off my tongue. Moonlight swirls around my head like the tornado I made earlier. I realize that I absolutely cannot afford to use magic again. The next time I do so, I'll definitely pass out. After a few minutes of awkward walking, my head begins to return to reality, though the throbbing pain in my temples only gets worse. Everything is harder right now, even breathing. But I keep on going.

The sun is back. How far have I come now?

I've just been the following the road in a stupor all night. I hope that I'm going the right way and that the trail hasn't randomly curved off to some other place because I forgot to check the stars to make sure I'm still going the right direction. The sting of the light coming over the horizon helps wake me up a little.

Half a day...another half a day. And then I should be there. If Mephis's map is to scale...

It's just conjecture. Maybe Mephis isn't a very good artist. Or maybe I misread the map. But if I don't tell myself that this is almost over, I'll give up. Without enough energy to peek into the future or use mana, once nightfall comes again, I'll be helpless. Should that happen...I will need to stop, even if the assassin is right behind me. There's just no way to see where I'm going once it gets that dark.

The worst part is when the sun goes past the top of the sky and begins to set. I still can't see Sines. Please don't let the sun go down before I can get there. Though I've been begging for time to pass in my head this whole time, now I pray for the sun to stay in the air just a little longer. Come on...just until I get to Sines! Stay with me! My prayers can't change anything. No matter how I try, I can never change destiny.

The sun is setting.

It's going down.

It's gone...

I keep walking for as long as I can in the dark while the moon tries to crawl into the sky. Eventually, I don't see one of the little rocks sticking out of the trail and my foot catches.

*Oomph*

For the second time, my face kisses the dirt. Exhausted, I lift my head and find a fallen stick to burn. However, each step is torture. I barely have the strength to wipe the crap from my eyes. Mephis...told me not to give up. The map has to be right. I just need to go a little...further...

[Flaming Ember of My Desire, Burst Forth-Burn]

I try to light the branch.

It's a mistake.

The last of my strength is converted into mana and shadows creep over my sight as all the blood leaves my head. The ground rushes up to meet me.

Crap!

...

...

...

*Whump*

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