I felt too sleepy after the whole day working and running around from the empress's chamber to the emperor's chamber and then to the study room. 

It had been happening for the whole two days and now I was losing hope that I could ever crack the empress's heart! She was just too tough on me. 

Although Rei gave me some time to relax and while I was relaxing, she also let me hold her son and to play with him. He was just so cute that my heart melted each time he started to smile.

I laid flat on my back and a yelp came out of my mouth.

My back hurt. I had been working so much that I felt I had gotten back to my father's house. My legs ached and my muscles felt stiff. 

I heard a footstep and I knew who it was. I looked at the silhouette in the dark and saw Arashi had come. 

He had been coming every night and I was glad that he was, otherwise my mind wouldn't be stable anymore.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice was concerned as he sat on the bed.

"Yes, I am fine. Just tired." I mumbled weakly and he looked at me for a moment.

"Do you want me to have a little conversation with my grandmother empress?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No. No. It is alright. It is just some of the characters I don't remember and also the poems of the spring. The verses are just so hard and I can't remember them." 

I mumbled as my voice coated with sadness, "I think she is a bit offended at me because of it."

Arashi hummed, "Hmm..." Then he suggested, "How about I teach you some of the verse."

My eyes sparkled as I asked with excitement, "Really?" 

I sat up straight and immediately regretted it as my back cracked. "Ow!"

His eyes became concerned as he asked, "What happened?"

"My back and waist are hurting too much these days." I said as I patted on it.

"Turn around and pull off your yukata." He said and my head snapped at him as my cheeks reddened.

"Wh—what?" I asked with a pair of wide eyes.

"Let me give you a little treatment so the stiffness will be gone." 

"Err... But..." I was flustered. 

"Just turn around," his voice became cold as I immediately followed his order.

I turned around and loosened my obi as my sleeves came off and fell around my waist. My heart started to beat fast as I covered myself with my hands and felt my cheeks burning. 

Arashi came behind me as I sensed his presence. As his hands touched the skin of my back and waist, my breath fastened. I pursed my lips and bit hard on it as he roamed his fingertips on my skin, giving me jolts of lightning. 

His large palms held my waist as I held my breath and suddenly he pushed his thumbs with sheer force. A cracking noise came out of my waist with intense pain that jolted through my skin.

"Ah—mphh!" Before my agonizing moan could come out, he had already placed his hand over my mouth. 

It was painful when my waist cracked but later I felt my stiffness was gone and there was no pain at all. My stiff back was gone too and I felt the tension on my body slowly perishing. 

"Don't make a sound. My grandmother's hearing is very sharp," he whispered, his hand still on my mouth. 

I nodded as he let go of my mouth. 

"What did you do with my back? The pain is gone!" I asked as I wore the yukata again but didn't tie the obi.

"Nothing. Just put some pressure on your acupressure points and it is back to normal." He said and my eyes sparked with amusement. 

I felt exhausted but now that there was no stiff back, I felt only a sleep would be enough. 

"Alright. Let us go to sleep. You need to wake up early." He said as we both laid down. 

"I will start teaching you the verses of the poems and also the characters from tomorrow." He said as I grinned. 

Then he wrapped me in his embrace and we fell asleep. 

It was around three in the morning when Arashi's voice came to my ear. I blinked open my eyes and saw he was already awake and was sitting beside me. 

"Bianka, you will be late if you do not wake up." He said as I sat up stretching my arms and felt the cold wind touching my skin. 

I looked at myself and saw the yukata was wide apart from the front where my breasts were exposed to him as he was sitting in front of me.

My head slowly moved up and my eyes fell on him. I saw he was frozen as his eyes were on my messed up state. Heat surged through my entire body as I realized because I hadn't tied the obi yesterday, my yukata had opened up from the front.

My cheeks burnt as a gasp left from my mouth and I tried to hide myself with my hands. I noticed a faint redness on his cheeks as he moved away his head and as embarrassment crawled in my belly, I immediately ran away to the bathing chamber, my heartbeat racing like a wild wind.

I was so careless! I thought and buried my face in my palms, trying to calm my heart.

Now I could never face him! 

After preparing myself, I went to the emperor's chamber but my mind replayed the incident over and over in my mind, making me flustered each time. I had been so careless when I was with him that I forgot to tie my obi. His presence was becoming more and more usual but I still felt shy when I was like that. 

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself since I had to give the emperor his morning medicines. 

I gave the clean herbal water to the emperor and noticed that the blue-ness of his nails was almost non-existent. I peeked inside his mouth and saw his tongue had gotten its color back. I got mused with Arashi's excellent work. My chest puffed with pride.

It had been a few days but the medicines were working. As I was cleaning him, I felt his body wasn't cold anymore. 

When I first started to take care of him, I felt his temperature was usually colder than us but now his temperature was back to normal. The black-blue bags under his eyes were perishing and now they were looking more and more like his usual skin color. I felt a relief as I headed toward the empress's chamber and again my mind reminded me of the incident.

My cheeks got colors as I entered her room. 

The empress's sharp gaze fell on me and she asked, her voice cackling, "Why is your face so red? Have you caught a fever!"

I shook my head as she said, "Hmph. Don't come near me if you caught a fever."

"I didn't catch a fever." I muttered as I placed the mats for both of us and set our tables. By now I knew where her things were and where to find her favorite books. I knew what she liked and what her favorite meal was. 

I had observed her ways in these days and parts Arashi had told me. She always liked to have some tea before her morning studies. She loved to educate herself with both old and modern knowledge and she loved art and poems. She loved music as well since Rei was teaching me some instruments. Both Rei and Arashi told me that their grandparents loved anyone who educated themselves with knowledge and excelled in any kind of instrument. 

I had no knowledge that both Arashi and Rei excelled at almost all of the instruments. And not only them, the emperor and the empress were also good at old instruments. I heard the empress didn't play those anymore after her elder son died. Arashi's father. 

Arashi had two more uncles and the crown prince was away for some important work. He would be coming in a few days and the younger uncle liked to stay in his study room so I hadn't met them yet.

I sighed as I looked at the poems. My mind felt dumb whenever I tried to read them. By now, I was losing hope since apart from old characters and the poems, I wasn't good with any instrument. My fingers got cuts and aches while playing with the strings. Not to mention, even Rei thought I was really bad at melody. There was no melody in my music. It sounded more like someone was screaming with their lungs. Her son even got scared and started to cry. 

It was just so hard to become a royal. I thought they didn't need anything to do since they had maids and servants for those but it was a wrong concept. 

While the royals didn't need to give any physical work, they needed to excel in their mental work. Getting sheer knowledge and having a mind to remember everything you read or see was really a hard task to do. 

Up until now, I only had done physical labor but when I started to work my mind, it was making me tired and exhausted. 

The empress came out of her bed and stood behind me with a thin stick in her hand as she asked, "Now, read me the verse."

My mind became numb instantly as I started to read, "Peach...source...poor?"

I felt anger radiating from her body as it was slapping me and she growled in her cackled voice, "That is blossom!"

I gulped as I cried in my head and she said, "Stretch your hand so I can give you a good beating!"

I shakily stretched my palms out in the air as she hit them with her thin stick. A yelped as she shouted, "Read the second verse!"

"Summer...pig...muddy?" 

I felt her body shaking beside me as I gulped. I cried in my mind. I had been getting my palms beaten by her everyday and it seemed I had entered into my childhood where children get beat by their teachers for making mistakes. 

Although I had never gone to any school, I saw my sisters crying back home and complaining about it. I would always feel envious but now that I think about it, it was better to stay at home learning in secret than to get beatings and scolding by your teacher. 

I wanted to cry back to Arashi and ask for help but his grandmother was just too strict! 

I thought in my mind as I cried. How am I going to survive! And more than that, how am I going to win her heart!

-----
27th July
1849