⌜ chapter sixteen ⌟

Kaz empties his pockets, leaving its contents on a wooden platform in front of him. The only thing of any real value to them is the rest of the money that Arya won playing cards in Kribirsk.

"Is this all we have left?" Inej asks, but they don't answer her. She groans as she then lifts her shirt and looks down at the wound to her torso. "Jesper, my bag."

He grabs what she asked for and then turns back to her; he gags when he sees her peeling the bandage from the bloody wound. "Mother of Saints..."

"I guess that means I can't ask you for help." Ayra looks up at him, shaking her head when she sees him covering his mouth with his hand.

"Help you with what?" Jesper asks as he looks at where she's sitting on a bail of hay.

"I need to take care of the cut to my leg and check my side, but I'm kinda down to one hand...and it's not my better one." She explains as Inej sits beside her and leans back to check her own wound.

"I can help you." Kaz says, and her jaw tightens as she looks down.

"I'll manage." Arya mutters. "Can I borrow a knife?" She asks, and Inej looks over at her.

"You're not gonna stab him, are you?" Jesper asks, and she looks up with narrowed eyes.

"No."

"What happened to the one I gave you?" Inej asks, and the other girl seems to freeze for a moment before taking a deep breath.

"I dropped it...after I killed the man who came after me. He was one of the Grisha who controls air."

"A Squaller."

"Whatever." Arya mumbles. "He said that Kirigan wanted me alive, and he was supposed to take me back... Arken told Kirigan that I'm not from this world, and I guess he wants to know how I got here. But I wasn't interested in being taken captive, so I... I'd never killed anyone before; not a human." She looks down, eyes glassy.

"It was self-defense, Arya." Jesper says. "You were only protecting yourself."

"I'll help you as soon as I'm finished here." Inej tells her. "My side isn't healing on it's own, I need to stitch it." She says, and Arya only nods.

"How long before you can travel?" Kaz asks them.

"Not long." Inej says as she looks up at him. "Where?"

"Ketterdam." He tells her, and she stops rummaging through her bag. "Between our dwindling funds, lack of time, and conflicting interests — it's time we cut our losses. How long until you can travel?" He repeats as he looks at Arya, since she never gave him an answer.

Her eyebrows furrow as she stares at the hay beneath her feet.

"Arya?" Jesper looks down at her, finding her silence unsettling.

"I'm... I'm not staying with you. I'll find my own way."

"What?" Inej questions, eyebrows furrowed.

"No. You are not leaving us." Jesper shakes his head.

"You're hurt. You can't go off on your own." Kaz says, and she looks at him for the first time since she stumbled across them.

"And I'm supposed to believe that you give a damn about my well-being?" She questions as she gets to her feet. "You left me for dead!"

"Arya-" Jesper starts, but she doesn't want to hear any excuses in Kaz's defense.

"I trusted you, but it turns out Arken was right the whole time." The brunette says as she limps toward Kaz, and his blue eyes look down into her green ones. "I can manage on my own with a few cuts just fine. But if my ignorance of your world is what gets me killed, so be it. Because I will never be stupid enough to put any faith in you again." She moves past him, still careful not to touch him as she passes, and she leaves the barn that they holed up in.

"Jesper." Inej gets his attention, and she hands him a knife as well as her bag. "I've got what I need. Tell her that she can use whatever she needs. She can stitch her leg."

"She knows how to do that?" He asks, and she nods. "Alright."

Jesper then walks out to where Arya's standing, and he looks down at her once he's standing at her side. "Are you alright?" He asks, and she nods.

"Mhm."

"He does care about you, you know?" He says, and she scoffs. "I don't know why he would leave you behind, but he cares. I've seen it."

"I really don't want to talk about it, Jesper." She shakes her head. "I'm in pain, and..." She sighs as she looks down.

"How can I help?" He asks as he holds out the things that Inej sent him with.

"Will you stay with me while I stitch myself up?" She asks, and he nods.

"Of course."

Arya cuts more fabric from her cloak and uses it as a wrap for her leg after she gets it all stitched up, and then she tends to her side. She gets it cleaned as best she can, then she cuts more fabric from the cloak and has Jesper tie it around her torso. She fixes her clothes and discards the now chopped up cloth that used to be her cloak.

"You should stay with us." Jesper says eventually, and she shakes her head as she looks back at him. "Please? For me?"

"I can't, Jesper. I don't trust him anymore."

"Do you trust me?"

"That's not the point." She shakes her head again. "When he... Kaz went to see Heleen to make it so that Inej could come with us."

"I know." He nods.

"I was with him, and she saw me... And she said that Inej could be free if she could have me."

"He would never trade you."

Arya nods. "That's what he told her. And I might be inclined to believe it, except twelve hours ago, we never would've thought he would leave me alone with that General Jackass." She argues, and he sighs as he looks down. "I trust you, Jesper, but that doesn't matter. He's your boss, and I'm expendable."

"You're not."

"Yes, I am. I always have been."

"Look at me." Jesper places his hands on either side of her face. "You are not expendable, and I am not letting you go off on your own. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not." He tells her, and the corners of her lips tug upward as tears well up in her eyes.

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Arya's laying in that same field outside the barn, staring up at the stars in the night sky. She knows Kaz is sitting by the fire, his eyes on her, but she refuses to look over at him. She refuses to let him see any more of how much she's hurting because of what he did.

A few minutes later, unable to lay there without thinking about their first night there, she gets up and walks a little farther away from him. The brunette glances back when she hears voices, and she sees Inej looking at Kaz, hurt on her face as well. She hears a bit of the conversation that follows, but doesn't pay them much attention until a specific question piques her interest.

"Kaz, if not Saints, what do you believe in?"

"Myself." He tells her, and Inej scoffs as she turns away from him.

"Why'd I even ask?"

"And you." He adds, causing her to stop. "And Jesper... Arya. My Crows."

"Because we flock to your bidding?" Inej asks as she turns to face him again. "Like the animals of vengeance you named us after?"

"Crows don't just remember the face of people who've wronged them." He tells her. "They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for... No Saint ever watched over me. Not like you have." He says and then his gaze turns to Arya again.

"I can't go back to the Menagerie." Inej says, and he looks back at her.

"You won't."

A little while later, Kaz walks over to where Arya's staring out into the darkness. He stops at her side, newly-fixed cane in hand, and looks down at her.

"I miss tv; I miss cartoons." The brunette says. "Life sucks so much more when you're stuck inside your own head, completely unable to drown out your own thoughts."

"You're speaking to me."

"It's the only way I'm getting any of those thoughts answers." She sighs. "Or is it? 'Cause usually I'm the only one talking, and you just look at me. I get a chuckle or a smirk...short answers. I guess I'm just so used to one-sided conversations, I didn't really notice."

"I never know what I'm supposed to say to you." He admits.

"Which was fine, because I thought your eyes said it all...or at least said enough." She shakes her head as she continues to stare into the night. "But now I really wanna understand. Because I've got it narrowed down to two options. You wanna hear 'em?"

"Sure."

"Best case scenario — you are the best con man that I've ever met; you fooled me, your friends, you had Arken believing it enough that he thought it was worth mentioning to Kirigan... The best illusions are the most convincing." She takes a deep breath. "Or worst case — you really felt even a fraction of what I thought I saw, and you left me anyway."

"Why is that worst case to you?" He asks, and she pauses for a moment.

"I guess because I will always be that person who cares about others more than they care about them-self." She tells him. "And if you're really so willing to throw away someone that you care about...that makes me sad for you."

"Which one do you believe is true?"

"I don't know." She shakes her head. "There is so much when I think back that makes me think I imagined it all. Sometimes it seemed like I made you more angry than anything else, and so much of what I thought was there could've just been you protecting an asset for a mission... I asked you if you trusted me, and you didn't say anything at all. I think the biggest thing — besides you abandoning me with Kirigan — is when you were talking to Inej just now...that was the first time I ever heard you say my name. You would just look at me and give an order, or say that we are doing this, and I knew it meant me because this whole thing started with you refusing to let me out of your sight because you don't trust me...

"But then I think about how you seemed different when we went to get Milo, and how you looked at me on the train... I remember the look on your face when Heleen said she wanted me, how angry you were when Maxim hit me, and the way you grabbed me when the Inferni was gonna kill us...and the look in your eyes both times we were hiding in the palace. But maybe I'm just so starved for affection that I imagined what I saw in your eyes when you looked at me...'cause I really liked how you looked at me...

"But I have no idea what to believe. Because you risked your life to save me when we were trying to get away from that Inferni, just to leave me the way that you did when Kirigan showed up in that alley?"

"I was..." Kaz starts, but he doesn't know how to voice his thoughts. "It was never my intention to hurt you...or to con you."

"It doesn't really matter what you intended, because I'm still hurt." She quickly reaches up and swipes her hand across her cheek.

"I haven't cried from the pain of a burn or a cut...or a bullet since that day."

"I think what happened with Kirigan is the result of a combination of a few things." Kaz says.

"Do tell."

"I don't know...what any of this has been." He's having trouble getting it out, so she waits patiently for him to continue. "This was supposed to be nothing more than a job, as was helping you get home after we got paid for getting the Summoner... And then you...happened. The comments, the looks, helping you that day in the bathroom, listening to you talk about all of the things that are important to you... And the way that you looked at me — how it made me feel..."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore." The brunette says. "Because I have no intention of looking at you anytime soon." She tells him, and his gaze falls to the grass at their feet.

"And then I... I found myself looking for you in a crowded palace, and risking my life to make sure that you weren't hurt. And I realized how much easier my life would be if I didn't care about you at all."

Arya scoffs. "That's nice."

"But I do." He says, and she looks conflicted as her eyes search the darkness, still refusing to look up at him. "And then you told Inej that your brothers are more important to you."

"They're my family." She says. "Stefan stood at my side my entire childhood, and he held my hand to help me through my fears. From things as trivial as the dark to the monster that was our father. And Damon took care of us, he raised us. He was always there."

"I understand." He tells her. "But it...hurt...and I wasn't expecting it. And again, I thought my life would be easier if-"

"I got the picture." She shakes her head.

"I acted without thinking when we were face-to-face with General Kirigan." Kaz continues. "And I don't know what I would do if you hadn't gotten away... Please tell me that you'll stay with us."

"Jesper isn't giving me much of a choice." She tells him. "I don't forgive you. Not yet... But I'm not going anywhere either."

"Well, isn't this adorable?" A voice familiar only to Arya gets their attention, and Kaz steps in front of the brunette as he turns to face the man; Inej and Jesper leave the barn to see who the new voice belongs to.

Arya grabs his Kaz's as she looks past him, and her eyebrows furrow when she sees who's standing there. "Crowley?" She questions, and Kaz looks down at her.

He smiles. "Hello, love."

"Jesper, don't!" She yells, and the two men look over to see the sharpshooter hesitate before lowering his guns.

"I'd reconsider staying with your friends, if I were you." Crowley tells Arya, returning his attention to her. "The people you love seem to die protecting you."

"That wasn't-" She grits her teeth as she then moves to stand at Kaz's side. "What are you doing here? How are you here?"

"You thought witches were the only ones who knew about doors to other worlds?" He shakes his head.

"Why are you here, Crowley?" Arya questions. "You didn't hear that I was missing, and just started looking out of the kindness of your heart. You don't have one."

"That's hurtful, love. But if you really must look a gift horse in the mouth — Dean sent me." The demon smiles. "He misses you. He says hello, by the way."

"What?" The confusion and fear in her voice makes Kaz uneasy as he looks down at her.

"Yes, well... Sam's dead, and you vanished. He wants answers."

"And he asked you for help?" She shakes her head. "He hates you as much as I do. You're part of the reason that Jo and Ellen are dead."

"They died because you thought you could kill a Hellhound with a shotgun." He refutes. "Jo died saving you. That's not my fault."

"You... You were there?!"

"Not me personally, no." He shakes his head. "I had others watching."

She scoffs. "You sent your minions to watch? Why not have them help us? You wanted Lucifer dead just as much as we did."

"I wasn't going to risk my men on your suicide mission." He says. "I gave you the Colt, your failure is your fault."

"Some king you are." She shakes her head. "You couldn't even figure out how to kill your predecessor. You had to use us as your pawns to gain your throne. I wonder how well you'll fair if Lucifer gets out of his cage."

"Now you're just being mean." Crowley says, seemingly bored. "Should we go then?"

"Why the hell would I trust you?"

"Am I really any worse an option than him?" He motions to Kaz. "Maybe I didn't help you out of the slaughter, but at least I didn't lead you to it and then vanish into thin air."

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to see you in a grand palace...trying to kidnap an innocent girl." He smirks. "Oh, how the mighty fall. What would Dean say if he saw you now?"

"Is that judgement...from you?" She scoffs.

"Are you telling yourself it's a necessary evil? A stepping stone to getting home?" He asks. "Or did your morals go out the window when you saw a pretty face?"

"I know my morals, and the lines I've crossed." Arya says. "But at least when I go to hell, it won't be because I sold my soul for a few extra inches. Tell me, Crowley, was the torture of hell worth it so you could have a bigger dick?"

"Looks to me like you'll know the answer soon enough." He looks at Kaz. "With friends like him... Well, are we done yet? Can we go home now?"

"Wait a minute." She shakes her head. "I... You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be able to be here."

"You mean because you were born in 1846, and Dean was born in 1979?" Crowley asks as he looks back at her. "That is quite a quandary, isn't it? What year in our world did I come from?"

Kaz looks back at Arya as tears fill her eyes, and she brings her hand up to cover her mouth. She shakes her head as she takes a step back, turning her back to them.

"It's August, 2010." He tells her.

"No, that's not possible." Arya turns and looks at him. "I left my brothers in 1864; I've only been in this world for six weeks."

"I don't know what to tell you. But I am curious how you were born a hundred and fifteen years before your father."

She takes a deep breath as she wipes her cheeks, trying to regain her composure. "How do you know what Dean is to me?" She questions.

"I knew I was looking for blood when we made the deal." He says, and Kaz watches as the color drains from her face.

"Deal?"

Crowley shrugs. "He has nothing to lose."

"No. No, there can't be a deal." She shakes her head. "There is no deal. Do whatever you have to do to make the deal void."

"He's a big boy, Arya. He made his decision. He-"

"No!" She snaps. "What are the terms? B-Break it."

"I bring you to him, that's the deal." Crowley tells her. "Now, I actually like you. I don't know why, because you're a pest, but I do. So, I'll tell you how I can make the deal null and void."

Arya nods. "Okay."

"I leave empty-handed, and you stay right here. I don't bring you to him, and there's no deal for him to uphold." He says.

"Then go."

"And that's your decision?"

"There is no decision. He's not going to hell. Not again. Not for me." Arya says. "I won't let him sell his soul."

"Like father, like daughter. Always putting others before yourself." He shakes his head. "It'll be the death of you."

"Still had a better reason to die than you had."

"You realize what you're giving up, right?" He asks. "It's been a century and a half since your brothers were born; they're long dead by now. Dean is the only family you have left."

"And what are you suggesting?" She questions. "I go back and live ten years with my father before I have to watch him get torn to shreds by a Hellhound? Just so that I could go home?"

"Enjoy your life with the people you can barely trust." Crowley tells her, and then he turns away from them.

"Crowley." She takes a step toward him, moving past Kaz, and he looks back at her.

"Yes, love?"

"I know you know." The brunette says. "You wouldn't stop at my birth date. You'd want to know everything."

"You want to know how your brothers died. Were they old? Each with a lovely wife? Were they surrounded by your nieces and nephews?" He takes a deep breath as he looks at her. "Some questions really are better left unanswered."

"We can skip the part where you pretend you care about anyone besides yourself."

Crowley turns to face her entirely. "Damon and Stefan Salvatore died...September 25, 1864."

"No. That's..." She shakes her head. "That's the day I got here. They haven't been dead this whole time. They can't..."

"Casualties of the Battle of Willow Creek."

"You're lying."

"What reason do I have to lie to you?"

"You're a demon! It's what you do."

"Perhaps." He nods. "But not when the truth hurts more than a lie ever could."

"That doesn't make any sense." Arya shakes her head. "Damon deserted the war, and Stefan never enlisted."

"The other civilian casualties were... Well, they weren't civilians."

"The round-up." She realizes. "Our father's plan to capture and kill the vampires."

"It's my understanding that your brothers were trying to rescue someone."

"Katherine." She hisses through clenched teeth.

"Don't know. Don't care."

"Who killed them? I want a name."

"Why, what are you going to do?" He questions. "Go back to our world and kill their descendants?"

"I'm not you, Crowley. I just want to know what happened to my brothers." Arya says. "Who killed them?"

"A man with a...vested interest in the round-up." He tells her. "Giuseppe."

She almost seems to lose her footing as she takes a step back, turning her back to him. Kaz sees that she looks oddly pale as she raises her left hand to cover her mouth. Her eyes fill with tears all over again as she mutters something about being sick.

"I tried to warn you." Crowley says, and she squeezes her eyes shut as she fights back tears.

Arya takes a deep breath as she regains her composure, turning back to face the demon. "Dean doesn't know that I'm his daughter, does he?" She asks.

"No."

"Keep it that way." She tells him. "Go home, Crowley."

Kaz blinks when the man suddenly disappears, but then he returns his attention to Arya as she tries to keep from falling apart all over again. "Who's Giuseppe?" He asks, and her green eyes meet his blue ones as he walks over to her.

"Our father."