I've realized something over the course of my journey, and I've come to terms with it.

First off let me explain some things and also, buckle in this will be a long chapter.

My dad and my mom are divorced and my mom and my siblings and I live in a trailer and every couple weeks I visit my dad for a week. For some context of my life.

I originally found a neko spell while looking at "spells" just out of curious with my friend(we aren't really close) I tried it then took to YouTube to find more as my curiosity got the best of me. I then found sublimnals and of course wanting to know if they worked I scowered the internet for journals documenting anything that happened and stumbled across mythicals.

Back then I didn't have any strong relationships really like I do now, I was lonely, socially awkward, moved a lot, and just was either snappy or sad most of the time. I also constantly had thoughts about how I'm not special and I just want to be a special snowflake. I know this isn't true now but it was an almost constant thought then.

I was afraid I'd become just another boring, bland, unimportant individual. So when I stumbled across mythicals it gave me the opportunity to be something interesting and special.

So I started my first journal. I listened constantly and was excited for results. I got my friends to join and grew closer with them. We had formed a tight knit group of 3 on a warriors amino

Me(Petal), Ivy, And Moon(all nicknames).
We even eventually shared our faces and names.

Then moon left. And the mythical part of our group kinda fell apart. That was when my break happened. Over that break I also took time away from amino and figured out some really important things, and my thoughts were better now.

I tried to do mythical stuff again but I had lost the need to feel special but I kept trying because it still was there somewhat. I stopped getting results as I listened inconsistently.

Now around when I started this journal I was feeling much better, i had some more friends online and we are really close, Me, Ivy, Anna, And Lolo. They are the bestest friends I could ask for <3

I stopped fretting over being special and explored the things I loved doing such as baking, arts and crafts, painting, and more. I tried to get back into sublimnals but I just couldn't. I didn't have a want for it anymore. I tried meditation which I still am going to do because it has also helped me a lot.

And now I've realized that I have absolutely no desire or worry about being special because we all are special and I no longer have negative thoughts besides the fleeting ones when I try to fall asleep which I've been dealing with.

I still have flaws, and I know I won't be famous but I know I won't be forgotten for a couple generations to come. I've accepted my flaws and no one has to love me. It doesn't matter if I don't get to hang out with my mom or sometimes I think she doesn't care, because I respect her and would help her anyday. And even if my sister thinks I'm annoying I love her with all my heart. I can't hold a grudge, and I've realized there isn't a point in trying too.

Why hold a grudge or be angry when you could fix your issues and grow to be a stronger and better person.

So what I mean by all of this is.. I'm no longer going to be doing sublimnals. I cannot express my gratitude for this community for being so welcoming and positive when I needed positivity, when I needed a warm community that was so accepting, when I needed to have a dream and goal.

It's been such a wonderful and amazing journey and I'm so, so, so ever grateful to my amazing friends and this community. I don't think I would've ever come out from that funk if it wasn't for my friends and this journey

I've learned so much about myself, and I'm still going to be somewhat active and read y'alls books but I'm setting this part of my life aside and starting my new chapter.

So,
Thank you! <3

Forever grateful ~Mossy🌲