Chapter 37: Karma

A week has passed since the last time I talked with Kathlysse. I remember leaving the restaurant with a heavy feeling and a puzzled mind, but as always, my sparkly burgundy ego saved me from going further than what had been decided.

He's not part of my business now.

"It's a wrap, folks!"

I gently ascended from the pool, and one of the staff hurriedly lent me a wet towel. She helped me wrap the towel around my body as I roamed my eyes around. Napangiti ako nung makita sina Hestia at Lilly sa kabilang dulo ng pool. Lilly was also swimming!

On my way to them, a couple of staff approached and congrats me on another successful photoshoot. Some even asked for a picture and autograph, which I gladly gave them. They have been so nice and gentle to me.

"I have already worked with you twice now, and I still get starstruck by your timeless beauty," one said while I was signing her magazine. "You don't get old. I envy you. But if I could ask for one thing, I wouldn't ask to look like you. I would just want to be friends with you."

I just laughed and thanked her.

My life has always been open to anyone who dares to have a glimpse of me. Despite my miserable, dark, and bloodbath past, I never completely shut myself to the possibility that someone, aside from Hestia, could still walk with me in my fast-paced life.

I walk without looking back and give without holding back.

Sa wakas ay narating ko na rin sina Hestia at Lilly. Inalis ko ang towel sa katawan ko saka muling bumaba sa swimming pool. Hinila ko sa akin si Lilly.

"She loves swimming!" ani Hestia. "Sa tuwing inaahon ko siya ay tatalon siya uli pabalik. I don't even know how she learned to swim. That cat always surprises me!"

I guided Lilly as she swam adorably. Her tiny legs, moving under the water to keep her floating and moving, her wet white fur that makes her look tinier, and her round eyes. She's just the most adorable creature ever!

"You are doing good, Lilly..." I praised her.

"Nathalia..." Napalingon ako sa nagsalita. Hando was staring intently at me. "I think you have some explanations to do. I will wait for you in the dressing room."

"Oh, you are back!" ani Hestia.

"I will wait," sabi lang nito.

Hando turned his back and walked away. I just shrugged and spent another couple of minutes in the pool. Nung mukhang pagod na si Lilly ay dinala na siya ni Hestia sa sasakyan. Naroon ang kanyang mga damit. Ako naman ay sinundan si Hando sa dressing room.

I walked into the dressing room and found Hando drinking wine on the couch. Nagsalin din ako ng alak sa baso saka humarap sa kanya. I waited for him to say something as I really had no clue what this was about.

"So..." He raised a brow, hinting me to say something.

I sipped on my drink. "Which one?"

This week has been hectic but also chaotic at the same time. Sa dami ng nangyari ay hindi ko alam kung saan doon ang dapat kong ipaliwanag sa kanya.

"The woman," he said, and I immediately understood it. "Maiintindihan ko pa kung bigla ka na lang nag walk out doon sa set. You always do that anyway. It could have been better if you just really left. But the woman..."

"Patay na ba?"

"Nathalia!" He raised his voice and glared at me. "The woman can barely talk. Tulala lang daw ito ayon sa nabalitaan ko. Tell me... what did you do?"

Inubos ko ang laman ng baso bago nagsalin ulit. I don't see any problem with that. The less you talk, the less mistake you commit. The less stupid you can be. The less bitch you are.

"What's done is done." I turned to him and sighed. "She should have seen that one coming after she took the necklace off me without telling me. She made me do it!"

No. I will not accept the blame this time. It's entirely that woman's fault.

Napasandal sa sofa si Hando. Napansin kong humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa wine glass. Kinuha ko ang bote ng alak saka lumapit sa kanya para salinan siya ng alak.

"I cannot undo it," I said.

"The woman is as good as dead," Hando whispered. "Jackson is a good friend of mine. The woman you stunned is also a good friend of his wife. His wife has been worried about her friend. She just... stopped functioning out of nowhere."

"I see..." I walked back to the table and set the bottle of wine on the top. "Trust me, Hando," I smirked at him. "His wife will thank me for disabling that woman one day."

"Jackson is also a vampire. Did I forget to inform you?"

"Then, this is not an issue at all!" I frowned. "If that cheater director is also a vampire, then he knew what happened to that bitch. Lilly is waiting for me. I should go now."

I just grabbed my pouch and walked out of the dressing room, still in my two piece swimsuit. Marami pang bumati sa akin pero hindi ko na magawang ngumiti ngayon.

Swerte pa nga siya dahil napigilan ko ang sarili nung mga oras na 'yon. I don't usually let that kind of behavior slip just like that. She almost put an end to everything I have worked hard.

Palabas na sana ko nung biglang may nagsaboy sa akin ng harina sa mukha. I heard everyone grasp. I was so stunned as I watched a random woman scowled at my face.

I couldn't comprehend everything she said as the audience swarmed around us. The noise was so loud that I heard them clearly, but I couldn't understand anything.

Ang alam ko lang ay nangangalaiti ang babae sa galit dahil mukhang ako na raw ang bukambibig ng kanyang asawa. Nawawalan na raw ito ng gana sa kanya dahil sa akin.

"You are such a bitch, Nathalia Cardinal. You are always naked. You are always showing off. You are a slut!"

Kinaladkad siya ng mga security guard palayo. May mga sinabi pa ito na hindi ko na nabigyan pansin. May nagtaklob ng towel sa ulo ko saka ako nilabas doon.

"It's fine, Nathalia. I got you," I heard Hestia whisper. "Lilly is waiting inside the car. Just stay your head down, and I will guide you there."

Pagkasakay namin sa sasakyan ay agad siyang nagmaneho palayo. Napalingon ako kay Lilly na natutulog sa tabi ko sa backseat. Tuyo na ang balahibo nito.

"Hindi ko na siya nabihisan dahil nung makita kong nagkakagulo ang mga tao ay agad akong tumakbo sa loob. Ikaw na lang ang magbihis sa kanya."

"She's sleeping," I said in my cold voice. "She's good. Sa bahay na lang siya magbibihis."

"Okay. Now use the towel and wipe the flour off your face. You are scaring me."

I laughed. "How could a beautiful ghost scare you?"

"A beautiful ghost is still a ghost."

Napailing na lang ako. Inalis ko muna ang kwintas ko bago nagpunas ng tuwalya sa mukha at sa leeg. Naalis ko na ang harina pero ramdam ko pa rin ang lagkit nito.

"Dati itlog, ngayon harina naman. Gusto ba nilang mag-bake ka?" Humalakhak si Hestia.

"It's not funny!" I pouted.

How could she make fun of my situation? I was literally assaulted by another crazy woman again. Right. Again. This was not the first time someone splashed something on my face.

"It is funny, though. Baka sa susunod ay asin na ang isaboy sa 'yo." Mas lalong lumakas ang pagtawa niya. Dapat ay nainis ako pero nadala ako at natawa na lang din.

We just both laughed that embarrassing scene away.

Pagdating namin sa apartment ay pinakain ko agad si Lilly bago ako naligo. May mga nakakuha ng picture sa nangyaring pagsaboy ng harina sa akin. Malamang na kumakalat na 'yon sa social media. Mabuti na lang ay hindi na ako gaanong nagce-cellphone ngayon.

Social media is a scary place that I will never recommend to someone. I have been to many places before, but this place will always scare the hell out of me.

I spent another night completing my drawing. After fitting random dresses every night just to get the perfect design for a wonderful night, I finally came up with my own design.

"Done..." I whispered, feeling proud while staring at my first ever design.

This couldn't wait until morning. I hastily walked out of my room with the sketch pad. Lady Merryl was out of touch, and I was not really that good at using needles, so I would just ask Hestia to sew my design for me.

Nakasalubong ko si Hestia na mukhang pupuntahan din sana ako. I was feeling overwhelmed since I had just finished my first ever design that I really worked hard on every night, but the look of worry on her face caught me off guard.

"What is it?" she asked, anxious.

"I want you to make this dress for me." I gave her my sketch pad where I drew the design. "You were asking me why I always do fitting every night? That's the reason. I came up with my own design."

"This is really, really gorgeous, but..." She looked back at me. Her forehead creased at the confusion, which I totally understood. "What's this for?"

I shrugged. "Wala lang akong magawa nitong mga nakaraang gabi. That's a product of my boredom. Not just a basic product, but a masterpiece. You can sew it, right?"

Muli niyang tiningnan ang sketch pad. "Your design is gorgeous, but based on the intricacy of your design.." Saka siya muling tumingin sa akin. "It will take me a few days."

"That's fine." I crossed my arms on my chest. "Just do it when you are free. No need to hurry. The design was perfectly done, so I want you to bring it with me the way I imagined it."

She flipped the sketch pad closed and held it on her chest. Nanatili siyang nakatayo sa harapan ko na tila may gusto pang sabihin, pero hindi alam kung paano sisimulan.

"What is it?" tanong ko.

She forced a smile. "Nothing... I was just wondering if you still use your phone? I guess, not anymore? Ako lagi ang ini-istorbo ni Hando kapag may gustong sabihin sa 'yo, eh!"

"I haven't used my phone for weeks now," sagot ko naman. "What did he say?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. "It's nothing."

"Nothing, but you were acting suspiciously?" I arched a brow, and that made her slightly panic. "Hindi ko na binubuksan ang cell phone ko. Don't make me. Now. Tell me. What is it, Hestia?"

She bit her bottom lip and went silent for a few moment. Nung nabagot ako ay tinalikuran ko na siya pero bigla siyang sumulpot sa harapan ko.

"Do you want to sleep in my room?" she asked nervously. "You can watch me sew your dress!"

"Get... out of my way."

"Nathalia. It's better if—"

I pushed her into the wall with both of my hands on her shoulder. Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa cell phone niyang nahulog mula sa kanyang bulsa.

Umiling sa akin si Hestia. "Don't, Nathalia."

Yumuko ako saka pinulot ang kanyang cell phone. I already felt bad about what I was about to see, but I still swiped and unlocked her phone. It brought me to an article that was just written today.

I didn't know that my fears and nightmares could be perfectly described in one document, but this was it. The article has a picture of me in the parking lot with Dylan after the burning building incident. The picture was too clear that even Dylan's disgusting look at me was caught in it.

"Don't read it!" Hestia grabbed her phone from my hand, but it was already too late. "Everything in this article is bullshit. I told you not to open it!"

I couldn't utter a word as I was still processing what I had just read. My expression outside couldn't portray what I was really feeling inside. But I knew at that moment that I was about to see the world that I built fall into destruction.

"I've already talked to Hando. Alam na niya ang gagawin niya, Nathalia. You had an allergic reaction due to the fire, dust, or bullshit men who did nothing but promises. It's going to be fine! I promise!"

Is it going to be fine? I am afraid not.

Everything will go downhill from here.

Before I even realized it, a tear escaped my left eye.

Akala ko ay handa na akong iwan ang mundong ito. Ngayon na maaaring mangyari na ito ay nasasaktan ako. Nasasaktan akong sa ganitong paraan pa.

"Nathalia..." Hinawakan ni Hestia ang kamay ko. "Don't lose hope, okay? We can still fix this. Trust your fans. I'm sure they will also understand. No one is perfect."

The last phrase she said did not affect me. I have always portrayed this perfect figure of a woman who doesn't seem to commit or possess any nasty thing. I have always been the epitome of an ideal woman, and for people to find out that my skin gets wrinkled and I look shit sometimes was not just horrifying but also embarrassing.

Hestia looked like she was about to burst into tears as she struggled, trying to convince me that it would be okay. It's clear to me that believing in that is delusional.

Her phone suddenly rang. Nakita ko ang pangalan ni Hando sa screen.

"Hello?" nanginig ang boses ni Hestia nung sinagot ang tawag. "Too late. Alam na niya."

Hinawi ko ang luha sa mga mata ko. So... I guess this is it.

The world will finally witness the fall of Nathalia Cardinal.

"I know you can hear me," dinig kong sabi ni Hando. "May kausap na akong journalist. We will try to come up with a good reason. Don't stress yourself too much."

"No need..." bulong ko saka mapait na ngiti.

Hestia shut her eyes as her tears fell.

"What do you mean?" Hando asked angrily.

I sniffed. "Don't do anything, Hando. Hayaan mo na lang."

"No. I won't let this happen. You will lose every endorsement—"

"Don't fucking try to cover it up!" I screamed out of frustration. "Let the people think whatever they want to think about me. There's no point in hiding it!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? How about your contracts? Your endorsements? They will also get affected when your image gets ruined! You will lose your million-dollar—"

"Fuck you and your money-hunger life!"

That's when I walked out.

I picked up my phone and sat on the bed. Pagkabukas ko nito ay bumaha ng notification. I ignored everything and went directly to my social media account.

I read everything with tears in my eyes and rock on my chest. I spent an hour reading and digesting every sickening thing they said about me. It was degrading, but I just couldn't stop reading it over and over again.

If there's one most used word in every post about me, it's karma.

They thought this was karma. That was, I think, the hilarious part of this drama— to believe that one's suffering was caused by karma.

The truth is— bad things just really happen to anyone. But since you are eagerly watching and waiting for that, you think the odds are in your favor if that happens. I'm afraid not. Maybe you are just lifeless.

At first, I thought I was the pathetic one. But before I shut my phone because I got tired of reading their recycled post, I realized that they were more miserable than I would ever be. I couldn't imagine exerting effort by sending so much hate on someone who doesn't know you or your existence.

My worst time could still beat the hell out of them at their best. It just happened that I had no time for them. Why would I spend my time on things that would do nothing to me? They all can hate me for looking like that, but at the end of the day, they are still the pathetic ones.

That was one of the worst nights, but I made it the next day. Strangely, I felt more energetic today. Those leaked pictures of me made me realize that opinions could only affect you if you let them.

At the end of the day, I am still Nathalia Cardinal.

Hestia helped me with my outfit for the day. I let her decide on my dress. She chose a vermilion V-neck bodycon dress which I also loved. She did even my chunky braid updo hair.

"Your taste is still immaculate," I said while slowly spinning around in front of the mirror.

Hestia chuckled. "I have a personal reason for letting you wear that dress."

Hinawakan niya ang bewang ko saka pinatong sa balikat ko ang kanyang baba ng ulo. Pareho kaming nakangiti habang nakatingin sa reflection ko sa salamin.

"I need them to see that the woman they are trashing and calling names is still the highest-paid model and the most elegant model to ever walk in this world. I need them to see that my best friend is and will always be... confident."

"I don't think I will make it this far without you..."

She giggled. "What do you think are friends for?"

"Your turn..." Hinarap ko siya. "Hindi naman puwedeng ako lang ang nakaayos, hindi ba?"

"Okay..." she smiled.

Habang inaayusan ko si Hestia ay tiningnan niya ang schedule ko ngayon. Sa sulok ng mga mata ko ay nakita kong umakyat ng kama si Lilly para matulog.

"Oh..." Hestia gasped.

"What?"

"Today's schedule is not yours alone."

Sinilip ko ang cell phone ko.

"You have to work with Kathlysse Merlington."