After wandering aimlessly, I stumble upon a quiet corner near the temple. I lean against the sturdy wooden wall and take a few deep breaths, attempting to quiet the racing thoughts in my head. The worst-case scenarios are swirling around me like a whirlwind, threatening to engulf me at any moment.

As I unlock my phone, I prepare myself for the inevitable. I try to reassure myself that it was nothing, that it was just a trivial message from someone harmless. Maybe Mipha checking in, or Impa sending a meme. Maybe even a DM request by another one of Link's obsessed fangirls. Oh–Maybe it's Ruto for some unknown reason!

I unlock my phone, still feeling out of breath. With a fleeting glimpse, I confirm that the name of the sender is indeed Karusa Valley. I close my eyes, fighting to control the flood of emotions surging within me. What am I going to do now?

I feel like it's important for me to find out what Karusa's purpose is. I deserve to know what is going on. On the other hand, I don't want to hide anything from Link. When his ex asked us out for drinks, he immediately told me. He chose honesty. He doesn't deserve to be lied to. So I either tell him about Karusa, or I delete the text and block him.

I open Instagram, determined to delete the message and block the man who has ruined more than one life. But when my eyes enter the chat, they refuse to look away from his message.

*Can we talk?*

What. The. Hell.

I am so confused by his text that I don't even know if I should feel scared, angry, or relieved! This is definitely not what I expected. I'm glad it's not a direct threat, but it doesn't explain his intentions either. Instead of asking me to chit-chat, he should just tell me what it is he wants from me!

I am irritated by his vague text and don't know how to respond to his plea. I can't read his emotions through text. I can't hear the tone of his voice or study the expressions on his face... I can't even tell if he is asking me to talk to him over chat or in person. He is mental if he thinks I will meet up with him in person.

*What do you want?* I type confused.

I don't hit send, I delete the message and compose a new one.

*Talk? About what?*

I'm deleting that one too.

*You can talk to my lawyers.*

That would be a good one. But too aggressive and direct. I want to know what he's up to. I want to give him a chance to explain himself but I need to stay 5 steps ahead of him.

*What do you mean?*

Hm...

I don't like it. I delete that one too.

Argh! This is so vexing! He's probably over there, laughing at me with his disgusting friends, and bragging to them about all the things we have done according to him! This is a prank of some sort. Why, for the love of Hylia, would he want to talk to me? Last time we spoke, he wasn't very fond of me. He was so irritated by me that he advised me to leave "before it gets ugly". 

Maybe I should have stayed. Impa could have filmed it and I would have the proof I need to get rid of him. Instead, I sat there for 5 minutes, allowing him to insult me and act like the victim. Did he really believe that he was innocent in all of this? I would love to know what truly goes on in his head. If I was him, I would not be able to sleep at night. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. I don't know if I could ever forgive myself for hurting all those people.

He perplexes me more than anyone else...  Right before I left that day, it sounded like he was warning me of Ganon. He said "I hope you know what you're doing." What was that about? Did he really warn me of Ganondorf? If so, does that mean he has a heart? Or was he just trying to stop me from getting his friends arrested? No, if that was the case, he would have given me a fake address. 

Could it be possible that he is trying to warn me of something again? Is Ganondorf up to something? Is Link in danger? I need to find out why he texted me.

*What do you want?* I type again, more hectic and full of worry now.

Delete delete delete! delete!

If Karusa did have a heart and if Link really was in danger, then he wouldn't be taking so long to reply, and he wouldn't be so vague! I hate him! Why wouldn't he just tell me what's going on? And most importantly, why am I so interested in finding out why he's texting me? He groped me! He gave me a hickey, threatened to hit me, and followed me around like a creep! And then he broke Link's leg, almost ending his career!

My fingers fly across the keyboard as tears blur my vision.

*Are you fucking mental? Go to hell Karusa and don't ever text me again!*

"Hey," Link's voice startles me from behind and I nearly drop my phone. "Are you okay?"

It takes me a second to get my voice back, and when I do, all I manage to say is, "Link?"

I nearly forgot we are in Japan. I turn my phone off, unsure if I sent the message or not. Frightened, I stare at Link, not daring to break eye contact.

"Why'd you run away?" He asks concerned.

"I didn't–" I breathe. "I just needed some air."

"I saw you leave. I tried to catch up with you but I lost you in the crowd."

"I'm sorry."

"You worried me."

"I'm sorry..." I lower my head.

"Are you okay? What's up?"

"I didn't mean to worry you," I apologize, aiming my eyes at the floor. What am I doing? I feel so lost. I feel guilty. I feel disgust toward myself. I want to be a better person but I am so confused... None of my choices are made with the intent to hurt Link, yet I feel like no matter what I do, I end up causing him pain.

"It's okay. I just want to make sure you're okay," he says.

"I'm okay," I nod.

"You sure? You were acting kinda off."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, just talk to me."

"Er..." I don't know what to say. My mind is still stuck on that text. Did I send it or did Link interrupt me just in time? I stare at the phone in my hands, more eager to hide it from Link than to find out if my text was sent.

"Is this about my ex?" Link asks.

"What?" My shoulders drop as I lift my head to look at him.

"I don't know what's going on," he admits as he scratches the back of his nape. "Did I fuck up again?"

I frantically shake my head and take his hand into mine. "Of course not."

"Feels like it," he mutters.

"No, Link, believe me, you did nothing wrong. I appreciate your honesty in the matter. I just... I just didn't expect to meet your ex tonight."

"Me neither. It's not like I planned it."

"I know. I'm not angry. I feel better already. I just needed to get some fresh air. It was really noisy back there and I felt a bit overwhelmed."

"I'm sorry. I should have made sure that you're comfortable with the noise and the people. I was focused on Aryll and completely–"

"Hylia! Aryll, where is she?" My eyes dart around, unable to spot her. "You left her alone?"

"No, I would never," he defends himself. "She's with Ruto."

"You left her with your ex?" I snap.

"Ruto is the only person I trust enough to watch my little sister."

"The only person you trust?" I frown.

"The only person nearby. Jeez, Zelda! Obviously I trust you with Aryll, you're my girlfriend! But you ran off so I didn't really have much of a choice."

Guilt showers me as Link glares at me in annoyance. I fall into submission and shrink in posture. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you..."

Instead of answering me, Link scratches his head and looks the other way, clearly struggling to find the right response.

"Please forgive me," I beg him.

"It's okay," he sighs. But that answer is not good enough for me. I don't want it to be 'okay'. I want us to be good!

"Forgive me," I plead.

"I said it's fine." His voice is impassive, making it impossible to guess if he's annoyed or just worried.

"Say you forgive me," I cry.

"I already forgave you! What's up with you? Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?" I peep scared.

"You're being dramatic."

Ouch...

His eyes are avoiding mine. If he looked at me, would he see the hurt in my eyes? Am I really being dramatic? Am I overreacting? Are my tears unreasonable? These are my emotions and I feel like he should be comforting me, not belittling me.

"You really think I'm being dramatic?" I ask quietly.

"Not dramatic, sorry, but–just help me understand why you're running off and getting mad at me for leaving my sister with a friend."

"Your ex," I correct him.

"So this is a problem then?"

"What is?" I challenge him.

"Ruto."

"It's not a problem," I say, wiping the tears with force. I hate when we argue. I want to love him, not fight him! For crying out loud, I love him! I wish he knew how much! Maybe he wouldn't get so irritated by me if he knew that all I think about is his well-being. "Can we please stop yelling?"

"I'm not even yelling," he scoffs.

"Please," I try again, clenching his hand. "I love–our relationship and I don't want to spoil it by fighting all the time."

"We're not fighting."

"Can we just talk about it? Please?"

"I tried talking to you but then you got pissed at me for leaving Aryll with Ruto."

"I'm not pissed," I hiss. "Stop putting words in my mouth. I'm not angry at you, okay? I'm a little annoyed at the situation but I don't want to fight anymore. I want to talk to you, so can we please just... talk?"

He lets out a long breath and tucks his head between his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Finally the tension seems to decrease. "I'm sorry too," I say.

"I don't want to fight either, okay? I care so much about you too."

"I know..." I fall into his arms. A hug is what we both needed and he seems to welcome my touch with a sigh.

"So why'd you run off?"

"I told you... I needed some air."

"Okay but you could've told me," he argues. "Don't just leave."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Did you have another panic attack?"

"No. But if I had stayed, I think I might have."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to give you a nice experience but this day didn't really go well."

"Are you kidding?" I tighten my arms around his back. "I had a blast today! I am so thankful that you took me to Fukuoka and showed me the summer festival. It was a really beautiful day, start to finish."

My words don't seem to affect him. He's quiet and reserved, probably blaming himself for my withdrawal.

"I really had a wonderful day," I try to uplift his spirit again.

"I'm glad," he says, rubbing my back in soft strokes.

"I'm sorry for overreacting. But... frankly, calling me dramatic... that hurt."

"Sorry," Link replies, his tone lacking sincerity.

"I have emotions like everyone else. Granted, I am not the best at controlling them, but I still have valid reasons for feeling the things I feel."

"So what do you feel? If you told me about your feelings, maybe I would understand you better."

His words surprise me but I appreciate the gesture. He does have a point...

"Okay," I back away to collect my thoughts. "I suppose I did feel a bit blindsided when Ruto suddenly showed up."

"What do you mean?" Link tilts his head, trying his best to understand me.

"I mean... I never even knew you had a girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend."

I ignore his comment. "Why haven't you told me?"

"You never asked," he shrugs.

"So it's my fault?"

"What?" He shakes his head in confusion. "Why would I talk to you about exes? It's in the past, what does it matter?"

Exes? Plural?

"Was she your first girlfriend? I mean, were there more than one?" I ask, feeling a pang of pain in my chest.

"No, just her. And you, if that counts."

"If that counts?" I gasp in shock.

"You said girlfriends, not exes, so I'm confused," he defends quickly.

I apologize and take a deep breath to relax my tense muscles. I feel like I'm standing in a minefield, unable to take a step without causing a chain of destructive explosions. "So she was your first then?" I ask calmly.

"To be honest, I don't even know if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. It was in high school so not very serious."

"Did you love her?"

"No, it wasn't that serious," he repeats. "We actually sort of hated each other."

"What? Why would you date someone you hate?"

"Well, we didn't hate each other when we were dating. That was before. It's a long story. Do you really want to talk about that right now?"

"I don't really want it to come up again later."

"So can't we just drop it?" He bids.

I shake my head in regret. "I want to know."

"Why? It's just stupid ex stuff, let it go."

"If I had an ex, would you not be curious about him?"

"Do you?" He asks, proving my point.

"I dated a guy during my senior year," I lie.

"So why are you mad I didn't tell you about Ruto when you haven't told me about your past relationships?"

"Do you want to know about my past relationship?"

"Not really," he exclaims with a shrug and a shake of his head. I suppose I was wrong then. Maybe he really doesn't care about my experiences. I do, though. And I have been pondering about Link's past for long enough.

"I made it up anyway," I admit embarrassed.

"Why? Don't make shit up. Listen to me, exes don't matter. I am with you. You still want to date me, right?"

"Of course I want to date you!"

"Then let's just focus on the now. Why does my past matter so much?"

"Because..."

"Because what? Just stop thinking about it."

"I can't!" I cry in frustration. "I will always wonder if there has been someone prettier or funnier, someone better, someone you miss! Someone you think about when we... I can't help it! I know you want to be with me and I am sorry for constantly feeling insecure, but I just want to please you and be the best girlfriend you've ever had!"

"You are! Get that into your thought-melon!"

"I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me!"

"I'm not mad," he assures me with concern written all over his features. "I just wish you could see that you're already a great girlfriend. I don't know how to help you with your insecurities."

"It's not your responsibility to rid me of my insecurities and doubts. I'll work on it," I sniffle. "I'll talk to the school counselor when we get back to California, maybe he can help me understand what's going on with me..."

"You're gonna go to the school counselor?"

"I promised my father," I nod.

"So did I," he chuckles.

"What?"

"Mandatory therapy," he mutters. "It was part of the expulsion. Or I guess the appeal."

"Oh, right. I nearly forgot."

"Maybe we can go together," he smiles.

"I don't think that's how therapy works. Unless you want to go to couples therapy," I jest with a sniffle. His smile is affecting me and I finally feel the sadness dissolve.

"There's the smile I love," he notes and gives my wet cheek a kiss. "Mhh, salty."

"That's gross..."

"No, it's delicious," he gives me another kiss and makes a smacking noise after. "Could use some more seasoning to be honest."

"Stop it," I chuckle, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Maybe some Basil," he jokes.

"Stop taste-testing my cheek you weirdo," I laugh.

After a quiet chuckle on his part, we fall back into silence.

"I'm sorry for yelling," he says with a serious tone again.

"It's not your fault," I shake my head.

"If you really want to know about my past, I'll tell you."

"Just tell me why you dated someone you hated."

"I didn't. And hating is a strong word. It was pretty childish of us to act the way we did. It was more of a cooties thing."

"You must have known her for a long time then if you were still behaving like a child."

"I've known Ruto since I was 10. We didn't go to the same school but she's Mipha's cousin, so she'd often be at her house when we hung out."

A cousin? Poor Mipha... She must have endured a great deal of heartache. Despite developing a strong bond with Link and harboring feelings for him, he ended up dating her cousin instead. And to make it all worse, years later, when she finally mustered the courage to confess her love, she discovered that he had moved on with her biology lab partner. AKA me...

"Ruto wasn't really that nice when we were kids," Link continues. "She constantly yelled at me for no good reason, even when I tried to help her with stuff." I am sensing a pattern.

"So you're attracted to girls who yell at you?" I attempt a joke, thinking back to last year when I constantly let out my frustrations on him.

"Not really. Like I said, we didn't date till way later. Even though Ruto went to the same school as me, Mipha ended up going to a different high school, so we barely saw each other anymore. Without Mipha, Ruto and I had no reason to interact and stopped talking completely. I guess we only started talking again because my teammates in high school were friends with some of her friends and told me she had a huge crush on me and they basically forced me to go out with her."

"Forced you?"

"Not physically. But they were sorta challenging me to ask her out. I didn't even know much about her other than what class she was in."

"Then what?"

"Nothing much. We just hung out alone a couple of times, which was kinda awkward."

When he doesn't continue, I raise a brow. "That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"How did you end up dating her?"

"I don't know? People assumed we were dating and we never really denied it. I was used to rumors anyway so I just ignored it. We never confirmed if we're officially dating. That's why I'm not even sure if it was a real relationship. After I kissed her, I just kinda assumed it was."

"Wait, did you say you kissed her?" My jaw drops.

"Yeah?" He gives me a questioning look, waiting for the mines to explode but I tell myself to keep calm.

"Sorry, it's just... unusual. You don't typically initiate the first kiss," I state, trying my very best to keep my voice steady.

"What are you talking about?"

"I kissed you first, so did Mipha."

"I didn't want to kiss Mipha though. That's so different."

"But you wanted to kiss Ruto?"

"What?"

"Did you want to kiss me?"

"I don't know? I guess? Why are you asking these questions?"

"You guess?" If my jaw could drop any further, it would. "Are you serious? You don't know if you wanted to kiss me?"

"We didn't know each other. At all."

"You're saying that our first kiss... in my room... in the dark, with the rain pounding against the window... wasn't something you wanted?"

"No, I'm just saying I wouldn't have kissed you! I thought you hated my guts. I was interested in you but I don't think I would have kissed you at that very moment."

I'm nauseous. My legs fold as I slowly let myself down. With my back against the wall, I focus my eyes on Link's shoes in order to stop thinking about the memory of our first kiss. His shoes are dirty and the loop on his left shoe is loose and about to fall open. He's a size 10. Maybe a 10.5. And the stitching on the tongue of his right shoe is opening up. I never noticed how old and used his shoes are. You can't tell from afar but the more I focus on it, the more cuts and stains I notice.

Unfortunately, no matter how much attention I give to his shoes, I can't distract myself from the pain when all I notice is that they seem glued to the ground. Motionlessly, he is still standing right in front of me, frowning upon me.

Link's POV

Shit. What'd I do? I thought we were communicating fine. Now she's on the floor, just staring at nothing. She's not even blinking. Dammit, I really don't know how to help her! I need to fix this mess somehow.

"What just happened?" I ask. "I thought you wanted me to tell you about her."

"I did," she says.

"Then what's up? I'm sorry if I said something upsetting."

"I'm just processing..."

Fuck, Zelda. Help me understand! "Processing what? That I kissed someone before we knew each other?"

"That too," she breathes heavily. "But mainly the fact that you didn't want to kiss me in the first place. I always thought that moment was so romantic... I mean, you kissed me back!"

"Woah, slow down, sweetheart. I kissed you back because I freaking wanted to kiss you. I just wouldn't have done it if you hadn't."

I try to think back to our first kiss. I hope my memory isn't fucked up anymore and I actually remember what happened that day. She was upset because the shit with Karusa had just happened and she was mad at her dad for something. She was crying and shouting and then she took care of my wounds on top of everything.

"I wouldn't have kissed you at that moment because another guy just tried to. It wasn't the right moment to make a move," I tell her. She still looks upset. "I'm glad you kissed me though. Really glad, okay?" I squat down in front of her and kiss her knees. "Okay?"

"Okay," She nods.

I wipe her tears with my thumbs and kiss her knuckles. I need to take better care of her. I hate seeing her in pain.

"You wanna start heading back?" I ask.

"Back where?"

"Kyoto."

"But the festival..."

"It's almost over anyway. Let's go find Aryll and head back to the train station."

She gives me another nod. I get up and offer her my hand to pull her up but she sniffles and turns her head the other way instead.

"Can I ask you something?" She says.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Did you do more than just kiss?" I remain silent. I'm not going to tell her about every little thing I did with another girl. This is stupid. "The condom... Was it for her?"

"No," I say.

She looks up at me with so much hope. "Really?"

Would I be lying if I said no? Ruto and I never slept with each other so technically it wasn't for her.

"Link?" Zelda is waiting for an answer.

Ugh... I rub my neck. This is so uncomfortable. "I haven't..." Fuck, why am I blushing now? "We never..."

"You didn't sleep with her?" She asks excited.

"No," I say, way less excited.

"With anyone else?"

I sigh. "Nope."

"So you're a..."

"Yup."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Really!"

"Okay, stop."

It's not like I never had the chance to do it. Ruto wanted to do it pretty early on. But I didn't want to do that to her, knowing we weren't gonna last. It was hard enough to date her during high school when I was constantly gone for fencing tournaments and then my soccer career took off. When I decided to go to the US, I knew it was over. She was so hurt, I'm surprised she didn't rip my head off when we ran into each other today. I wouldn't blame her if she'd still be mad at me for leaving like that but she seems like she has moved on.

"Sorry," Zelda tries to hide her smile. And she fails. "I'm just happy."

"Great, let's go home then."

"I'm glad you haven't slept with anyone else."

"Why not tell all of Japan while you're at it?" I look around to see if anyone is listening to our conversation.

"But wait...."

"What?" I groan and throw my head back. This girl never lets things go.

"You're so experienced..."

I give her a confused look. "What are you talking about now?"

"I thought you had a lot of girlfriends in the past because you seem so confident when it comes to intimacy."

"Not really," I say, hoping she'll believe me and stop asking questions.

"You have no problem with nudity and you know how to flirt and make out."

"You're shitting me, right? I had no idea how to act around you when we met. I still don't know how to act sometimes."

"But you don't seem nervous at all when it comes to intimacy."

"Yeah because I love you and I want to be as close to you as possible!" I feel like I'm teaching a kid about affection. This should be so obvious to her. "I crave you," I explain in simple terms.

Now she's the one blushing. I think she's speechless. I don't even ask if she's ready to leave, I just take her hand and help her up. I swear, women are a mystery. I look over my shoulder to check on her as I drag her across the field of people. She's cleaning up her makeup with a smile on her face. If I had known that being a virgin made her so happy, I would've told her sooner. Shit, I thought girls want to date mature and experienced men. I won't question it though. I'm just glad she's happy again.

We squeeze past everyone. So many people... Where's Ruto?

I can't stop thinking about getting close to Zelda. Maybe she'll stop being so insecure now that she knows I haven't slept with any other girls. I know she wants to go further with me, she literally told me so. Just gotta take it slow. Maybe when we're back in California with doors that have locks...

"Miya-kun," I hear Ruto call my name and see her and Aryll waving at us. I walk towards them. Zelda's following. I check on her one more time before we reach my sister. She seems better now. She's even smiling at Aryll. Thank god she stopped crying. I get so confused with her sometimes and worry about her when she panics. I don't know how to help her. I feel useless when she's sad...

I look at Ruto. She's smiling at me as if nothing ever happened. It's strange to see her so happy. I'm used to her yelling at me and telling me I'm doing everything wrong. But she did love me and she did do a lot for me. Even though we didn't end on good terms, I still have good memories of us.

I think it's for the best that I didn't tell Zelda how far I went with Ruto. It would only upset her and make her feel more insecure. Especially if she knew that Ruto wanted to get married.