Haajar looked up from her computer when the doorbell rang. She walked to the door before opening it. Her eyes widened and she sighed loudly when she saw her father standing in front of her. She quickly closed the door and rushed back inside. She did not go near the door for the rest of the day. It was Alessia who opened the door when it was time to go home. Haajar quickly left the building and headed home. She was crossing the road to take a taxi when suddenly her father appeared again. She moved left, he moved left, she moved right, he moved right. She took a step back, he took a step back. He tried his best to stop her but pushed him and ran away. Soon she was safe at home. She got changed and had her meal. Around eleven she said her goodbye and was in her bed when Valiqa knocked at the door. Haajar jumped out of the bed and opened the door only to find her father again.

Haajar opened her eyes wide. She closed it again and then a few more seconds were taken to realise it was a dream. She sighed and rolled over. She wished to sleep for some more time but her uneasiness could not be spared so she left her bed, got ready and left before any human connection.

Dreams can be tricky. They make us see what we want to see, or what we never dare to think. They make us see the unknown and the very known. They are hallucinations yet they feel true. And sometimes they feel teal for longer than they intended to.

Haajar was slowly walking, trying to make her mind accept that it was just a dream not a fact but something felt real as if it has just occurred. She buried her hands in her pocket as a cold breeze touched her face. She shook her head resulting in the shaking of her hand which dropped her phone. She quickly bent down to pick it up. As she was returning to her standing position she looked to her right and saw a familiar face. Nevertheless, she picked up the phone and started to walk when suddenly her light bulb shined. She turned around abruptly. Raiyan smiled at her and waved weakly.

Haajar smiled awkwardly before looking down. Raiyan took a few steps forward before he said, "I wasn't following you. We are both going in the same direction."

Haajar started to walk and Raiyan joined her. "Oh. Okay. But why did you give me an explanation?"

"So that you don't misunderstand. We have been walking like this for fifteen minutes."

"We have been? Really?"

"Yes. We left the house at the same time."

"You were at the house? Did you sleep there too?"

"No. I came an hour ago."

"Okay. I didn't notice you. Sorry."

"It is okay. I could sense you were bothered. I hope you feel better soon."

"Thank you. You are very kind." What followed was a silent walk that brought ease to no one. They both wished to end the discomfort but what must be the course they could not know. They thought it was better to go different ways but their path was the same. Maybe talking was a better choice. But what must be talked about?

"William was happy at the end of the day. I am glad about it," Raiyan was the one to break the silence.

"Me too. He has been having a very tough time. He keeps getting anxious and comes running to us. I don't know how it helps him but he likes to stay with us."

"You two are his hope. His only hope I must say. So he is clenching on you two."

"Poor man. There should be more reasons, more hope."

"There should be. If not a lot of hope then at least a person who helps in some or the other way."

"True. Why were you working so early today? Something coming up?"

"No, not really. But I am glad that we were working. Work is what helps me. Work actually made this case easy for me."

"As long as it is helping I guess it is fine. But why is Sufyaan bhai working so much? I wonder if he is bothered too."

"I feel he is doing that for me. He is helping me. He has always been a great help. Ever since I came here he has been standing with me like a rock. He was always there to emotionally and physically support me. He even helped us move into our new house. He has been very kind to me."

"He is very kind. He has been my help for years. He is the reason I am here. He is the reason I met my mother." Raiyan looked up, his eyebrows raised a little. "He is always helping people. He is the best."

"I cannot argue about that."

"He is the best and deserves the best. The more actually."

Raiyan shook his head furiously, "I cannot agree more! Can not. He deserves so much."

Haajar smiled as she shook her head, "he does."

Raiyan smiled when he saw her smile. "Sorry I got carried away. But he does."

"He surely does. It is good that he has a good friend like you."

"Friend? A and A are his friends. I am just a colleague."

"A and A?"

"Afzal and Aman. We call them A and A at work. They are mostly together while working and agree on the same things. They are like a team."

"And S and R is the other team?"

"S and R? Oh, Sufyaan and Raiyan." He smiled. "You can say that. That would have been cool if it was true."

"It is true. You two are a team. Amal calls you Sufyaan Bhai's girlfriend. Apparently, you call him more than his wife."

"She told me that too. She teases me."

"She does? She doesn't do that to a lot of people. Maybe she likes you."

"I am honoured if she does."

Haajar smiled widely before looking ahead of her. Taking a deep breath she smiled again. Raiyan stopped walking causing her to stop as well. "I will be going that way now. I hope you feel better."

"Thank you. Have a good day."

"You too."

With a smile on their faces, they parted their ways. Haajar's mind found a new thought and Raiyan's revisited an old thought. Even when he tried hard not to Haajar often knocked on the door of his mind. Her face became a frequent and her thought was a tenant.  The crush that visited him one day was now turning into a new emotion.

"Where did you go so early in the morning? Were you working again? Why do you work so much?"

Raiyan shook his head for a few moments before looking up at his mother, "what did you say?"

"Why are you always working? Don't let it consume you."

"I am not letting it do that. I am off to sleep now. I do not have to go to the office until the afternoon. Bye-bye."

"Raiyan, Raiyan!"

"What?"

"Come back to the room. Let's have breakfast together."

"I want to sleep. I don't want to eat."

"Please?"

Raiyan closed his eyes. "Sure. What are we having?"

"Something that you like. Toast and jam."

"Perfect!"

Laughing Raiyan extended his hand and they walked to the kitchen together. Raiyan sat on the chair while his mother brought the breakfast. He took a spoon and a piece of bread before he opened the jar of jam.

"Use the butter knife. Why do you always use the spoon?"

"Spoon works then why not?"

"Because it is not for that. We must use things the way they were invented to use. That's how we keep the world on the right side."

"To keep the world on the right side we need to do more than knife and spoon. This world can never be right anyway. Why waste the energy to change?"

"World is not that bad Raiyan. I understand you have seen difficult things. Your brother betrayed you, your father died young, you had to work very hard and start very early. And the girl you liked is now married. I understand things have been difficult. But trust me when I say this life, one day, will be so much better than this. You will be so, so happy. Trust me."

Raiyan looked up at her and smiled. "I trust you. I know this is a better place and I will wait for it to get better. It is actually not that bad at the moment."

"It is not?" Raiyan shook his head in a no. "Okay. Good."

Raiyan smiled. "It was just a crush ma. Nothing too deep."

"You always say that but I am your mother, Raiyan. I know you."

Raiyan chuckled, "at the most, it was a major crush, nothing big."

"Whatever you like to call it." Raiyan laughed as he took another slice of bread. His mother, observed him as he moved his hands. She kept her bread on the plate and leaned forward. "Do you get angry at me? Sometimes maybe."

"For what?"

"I am always pushing you towards her. Because of me, you have to be around her all the time. Because of me, you had to attend all her wedding functions, because of me you often see her with her husband and because of me, you had to visit her baby. It must not have been that easy."

"It was not because of you. She is my cousin, it is a default setting, we are destined to be around each other."

"You could have avoided it. But her mother is my sister, my only relative and has been my only support. I knew when we moved here it was wrong, you came too close to her but I really had no one else to lean on. And I thought maybe she will start liking you too. But,"

"She liked someone else and got married." Raiyan looked up again and found his mother bowing down. "It is fine. I understand it. I am glad you have someone. I really am. I was too busy with my mess that it didn't really bother me. I was a little upset but it was nothing bad. I attended her wedding with a smile, remember? I am happy for her. And I am happy for you. You both have someone that you two deserve. If I cannot be someone that you need then at least I should not be the person who stops you from finding someone who does."

"That is very wise of you."

"I am very wise. Now let's eat quickly because I want to sleep before I have to leave again."

As Raiyan munched on his bread, Haajar was munching on an Apple which was her breakfast. She was early than usual, Alessia was yet at home. Haajar thought of working but lack of motivation and supervision made her procrastination win. She went through her social media accounts in the meantime. She checked everyone's WhatsApp status, and also checked her emails. Then as she was checking the account of a celebrity's friend, who was tagged in the recent picture, she received a call. The call was from Noor and ended after a ring. She kept going through the account for a minute, giving Noor time to call back. But when it was clear she won't be calling her, hence the line won't be blocked, Haajar called her.

"Hello, Assalamu alaikum Haajar. So sorry it was a mistake. I was calling someone else."

"Walekum Assalam. It is okay. How are you and the kids?"

"Perfect! They were dancing a few minutes ago. Now they are having cookies."

"No school today?"

"They will leave in a while. How are you?"

"Good."

"How's work? What happened to Raiyan's case?"

"It is a work in progress. And a lot of work. Their lawyers don't even allow us to move. It took us two hearings to just state the very basic fact."

"I knew she won't go easy. I met her twice. She is brutal. What's her name, Vanessa something, right?"

"Vanessa?"

"Yeah. It is such a beautiful name. And it was my childhood best friend's name. When he told me her name, I was so upset. I remember thinking, 'now I won't be able to like that name anymore'. She is not going to be easy. Take care of yourself and be careful. I know you can do this. Oh, oh oh, Haajar we need to run, it's time for the bus. I will call you later. Bye-bye."

"Bye-bye," Haajar kept the phone down as a frown made its way to her forehead. The strings of her mind started to light as she tried to find the memory. She had heard that name somewhere. Maybe I saw it, she told herself. She pressurised her mind as she was sure that she saw it somewhere. But where? That, she had to find out.