"Mama, can we go see daddy?" Jimmy's little hand tugged on the bottom of my shirt.

"No honey, I'm sorry we can't go see daddy" I said to him sadly.

He looked deflated. I hated having to tell him he couldn't see his daddy, I felt like a terrible mother but what else could I do? This was the deal we made.

Matthew and I had been friends for as far back as I could even remember, he was always part of my life. We were always with each other and it was highly noted by the people we spent time with.

We both knew the other had feelings involved, no matter how much we tried to push that away. We were great about not acting on those feelings until we were eighteen. One night changed everything. One night where we got a little carried away, a kiss was initiated and neither one of us had the strength to control ourselves.

Whether it was a mistake or not, we had one amazing night together that we would never be able to take back. That one night gave me the best thing I could have asked for, Jimmy.

When we found out I was pregnant, we made a deal that we would keep that information from the public.  We took into account Matt being drafted and what having a child at our age could do to his reputation. The last thing I wanted was to hold him back from what he was capable of just because of one impulsive night. I was all for keeping us out of the spotlight, but it was getting harder and harder to be happy about this arrangement recently.

Now, Jimmy is four and starting to realize his daddy doesn't spend the time with him that he wishes he did. How could he? No one knows Jimmy is his son except for the two of us and our immediate families. Jimmy always wanted to be around Matt and it literally broke my heart every time I told him he couldn't be.

"Can we see daddy later?" Jimmy pleaded still tugging on my shirt.

"I'll call daddy and see ok? Here's your breakfast" I smiled patting the tiny boys head.

"Yay! Thank you mama"

He looked so innocent, so excited. I held out every bit of hope I had as the phone rang that Matt would be able to see him today.

"Hey Y/N" Matt picked up after a few rings.

"Hey, Umm, are you free tonight? Jimmy's asking to see you" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I can stop by around dinner if that's ok?"

I took a noticeable sigh of relief and it didn't go unnoticed.

"Did you think I would say no?" He lightly chuckled through the phone.

"Well I wasn't sure to be honest but my heart breaks a little more every time he asks to see you" I stated honestly.

"Y/N..." Matt started before I cut him off.

"No I know, I'll see you for dinner" I said quickly as I hung up.

I knew if I didn't hang up quickly I was going to start crying. It had been years since our mistake but that didn't make me long for him any less. I wanted a life with Matt, a normal life where we could be together and raise our son together without hiding it from anyone. I wanted us to be a family, a real family.

"Daddy will be here later for dinner" I smiled at Jimmy as he shoved more pancakes in his mouth.

"Yayyyyy" he yelled with his mouth so full that pancake was about to fall out.

"Not with your mouth full baby" I giggled softly at how excited he was.

I cooked a pretty decent meal while Jimmy colored a picture for Matt. He looked so focused. He wanted it to be perfect, it was adorable.

"Something smells good" Matt said letting himself through the front door.

"Daddy!" Jimmy instantly jumped up from his chair and ran to Matt to attack him in a hug.

"Hey little man" Matt smiled scooping up Jimmy in his arms and walking to the kitchen. "Have you been behaving for mommy?"

"Mama's the best" Jimmy giggled as Matt placed a kiss to my temple.

"Yes she is buddy" he smiled at me.

"I made something for you" Jimmy pointed to the picture he was drawing as Matt's eyes lit up.

"For me?" He smiled at the little boy in his arms.

"Yes daddy" Jimmy smiled.

"Daddy loves it but not more than he loves you" Matt started attacking a giggling Jimmy with kisses.

I hated it. I loved the feeling of domestic bliss and I hated the thought that I would never have that with Matt and I hated even more that someone would probably get to have that with him, someone that was not me.

We ate dinner and Matt had played with Jimmy until it was time for bed and did the honors of putting him to sleep. It gave me some much needed me time. I sat on the couch reading when I heard the door to Jimmy's room shut softly.

"He's out" Matt smiled emerging into the living room.

"Thanks, I'm sure he enjoyed you putting him to bed tonight" I smiled sadly.

I knew if Jimmy had it his way, Matt would be putting him to bed every night. Hell, if I had it my way Matt would be helping put him to bed every night.

"He did, he kept telling me how you do it though" he chuckled softly.

That brought a smile to my face, that little boy had my entire heart.

"He's just used to a routine" I shrugged it off.

"I should be part of that routine though, Y/N"

"You're not going to hear any arguments from me" I snapped closing my book.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly that, you won't hear any arguments from me. You should be a part of his routine, you should be a part of his everyday life...both of ours." I trailed off.

"Look Y/N, I love our son and I love you but I feel like my hands are tied. You know what having a child so young could do to me, people would look at me different"

"You love me?" I asked shocked.

"You know I do" he said seriously.

"No, I don't" I stood up and moved to leave the room.

"How could you not?" He turned to face me making me stop in my tracks.

"If you loved me you'd want to be with me, you'd want to be a family with our son. If you loved either of us truly you wouldn't be more worried about what the public thinks of you than what your own son thinks of you." I snapped quickly turning to him.

He looked shocked, shocked that I finally stood up to him and told him how I was really feeling...shocked that I was being transparent with him for once.

"Y/N" he said softly.

"I'm going to bed, little man will be up early" I turned to leave.

"Do you love me?" He asked making me stop again.

"The fact that you even have to ask me that question shows how little you actually know me" I said not turning around.

"That's not an answer"

"Of course I love you, I've always loved you...even when you hide me in the shadows because you're embarrassed of us"

"How can you say that?" He was starting to get mad.

"How can I not say that?" My voice cracked as I finally turned to face him.

"Look, I'm not going to lose you and I'm not going to put Jimmy through this anymore. Of course I love you and of course I want to be with you but once the public knows, everything's going to change and I don't want you or Jimmy suffering because of it."

"We're suffering now" I sniffled. I don't think he understood just how hard our agreement was on the both of us.

"I just want you to be happy" he breathed frustrated.

"Neither of us are happy unless we're with you" I swallowed hard.

"If you mean that then be with me. Don't give up if and when things get rough, fight with me through everything. Let us be a family, let us fight as a family."

"You think that's not what I've wanted and hoped for for years?"

"Will you then?"

"Be with you?"

"And fight with me"

"I don't want it to be any other way" I almost whispered my tears finally spilling over.

"I love you" he took a few quick steps towards me, grabbed him face in both of his hands and kissed me like our lives depended on it.

"I love you too" I breathed through my tears pressing my forehead against his when we pulled away.

"I've always loved you. My need to protect you and Jimmy was overshadowing the love I have deeply for the two of you. I know things will be rough, but I will still always do my best to protect you both"

"Move in with us" I said quickly.

"I thought you'd never ask" he smiled pressing his lips to mine again. "We'll tell Jimmy first thing in the morning daddy's moving in...and staying forever" he smiled widely at me.

I pulled him back to me for another kiss. This was what true happiness felt like, this is what I had been waiting for my whole life. We were going to be a family, a real family just like I had always wanted. Yeah, he was right, we were going to have to fight through a lot once everything went public but we would fight together. We would always fight together.

Requested by: Anonymous

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Alright everyone I'm running dangerously low on requests...like I only have a few left on the list 😧

Please feel free to request players or imagines so I can build the list back up! Love y'all😘