Long wait,  long chapter! 😀🙏 enjoy!

Chapter 15:

I grunted out loud as I plopped onto the seat across from the empty one. Brian Johnson, my parole officer, was using his personal bathroom. He let me in through the door and told me to sit tight. I laid my head back, waiting for him. It was another boring week filled with assignments and group therapy. Pam urged me to share, I rather listen than share. Every week was the same routine with Brian: progress checks and urine samples. The way Pat asked me to smoke one each time, I'm tempted, but I couldn't. If I miss a day or fail a test, it's a problem and I might spend a week in juvie. So far I've been a good boy, besides drag racing I've been good. There wasn't any this week, the cops were everywhere, trying to find any type of criminal activity.

I heard his toilet flush, and then the faucet ran. I pulled out my phone, scrolling through old messages, and went to social media. There were a few pics on my Instagram profile. I wasn't into sharing my personal life, and I wasn't about to start. I haven't posted in the last year of February. It was a pic of my messy room from home. Dad's name popped into my caller ID. I swiped it to answer.

"Mr. Beckett," I looked up from his gruff voice, his dirty blonde hair was slicked back. He was drying his hands with a paper towel and sat across with a huff. Our relationship had been strictly business, he could care less about me but he wouldn't want his client in jail. I liked that. I told dad I'll call him back and hung up before he said anything.

"Ok. How are you?" The usual question he asked, feigned of interest.

"Tired," I simply answered, placing my phone in my pocket. I rubbed my eyelids to keep them open as he relaxed in his chair. He held out his hand with a gimme gesture for my class schedule and form. His black eyes stared at me, waiting. I pulled out the folded, wrinkled papers and handed them to him. He unfolded both, smoothing the papers flat on his desk, and read it out loud:

"History, Chemistry 101, English 101, Calculus, Biology, Sociology. What's your major again?"

"Engineering," I reminded him flatly. He should know by now, I've been coming here since I graduated high school four months ago, I've known him for a year. All my professors knew my situation, so I had to show them my forms.

"Seems like you're doing good. Profs marking all your days, signatures from Pam. Assignments turned in on time. Pulling some good grades."

"Yep."

"Ok. Urine sample." He slammed the cup on the desk. I grabbed it with a slide and headed to the toilet. I was done immediately with my business and flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and exited the bathroom. I placed it carefully near his phone and sat back down. He'll send it to the lab and the test results, which will come back in 24 hours.

"Doing anything interesting this weekend?" He asked, trying to sound interested. His focus was on his computer as he typed away.

"Staying home." I scratched the back of my head, letting out a sigh.

"Don't drink, stay away from drugs, and obey the law. Bye-bye." I smiled tightly, saluting him standing up, and left his office behind.

I breathed in the fresh air; the grey clouds formed in the sky as I walked to my car.

A guy handed me a flyer, "it's gonna be lit," he said in a singing tone and walked off. I almost balled it up and threw it on the ground, I straightened it out instead. The flyer had full of pumpkins and skulls. A pre-Halloween party on Saturday at the McDaniel building, the costume was required. What the hell is a pre-Halloween? I'm not one to dress up, I had a feeling there was gonna be a full keg. I folded it in my pocket, headed to my last class, sat in the back so I could barely listen. The Sociology professor stood up from his desk, informing us he will be right back. I saw that the reading assignment was on the board already. I pulled out my book, turning the page and flipping through them. I wasn't paying attention. I was squiggling on the pages. He came back in, patted his thighs, took the marker off the board, and started on the lesson.

***

Not a lot of people showed up in the support group today. I could leave, the door was open. I stared at it long enough, but I knew it wouldn't look good because I needed my paper signed. I showed up, it should be enough. Pam waited for more people to show up. I tilted my head to the side, tapping my shoe on the ground. Scuffs of feet were sounded at the entrance, Olivia came in. She smiled at us and sat at the spare seat next to the girl with the short haircut to her shoulders. She faced me, widening her smile. I did a head nod. "I guess this is everyone. We can begin." Pam clapped three times, "it's a start of a new month, has anyone set some goals? Joined a club?"

"I did," a boy raised his hand in glee. "A Physics club." He ended his sentence with a grin.

"That's amazing!" Pam responded in the same happy tone he did.

"I decided to talk to my boyfriend about my past. I haven't told him before," Hank chimed in.

"Good, remember it takes baby steps." Pam nodded. "Anyone else? Make your first entry in your journal?"

"I did," Olivia responded with a low hand raise. "I surprised myself with how much I wrote. Three pages."

"Good. Good." Pam appreciated.

I scratched the inside of my arm, laid back in my chair, and kicked my feet out. Only one more hour left from this nonsense. I didn't open my yet, was it a requirement.

"Damien, anything you want to share?" Pam suggested.

I puttered my lips, "I peed in a cup today." I heard some snickers next to me.

"Can you be serious for once?"

"It's true, gotta stay clean. One more day until I'm off the leash," I admitted. I shared. Good for me.

"Right. Halloween is at the end of the month," Pam changed the subject. "Does anyone here celebrate it?"

A few people raised their hands. The last time I went trick or treating was when I was ten, I dressed up as Hawkeye, my sister was Scarlet Witch. Mom didn't decorate or pass out candy. She left it on the porch. Dad was at work, my uncle had to be our chaperone. I raised my hand at the last minute.

"We really don't celebrate it at home, my parents are afraid of kidnappings. They think the candy being passed out is poisoned." Olivia finished with a chuckle.

"It's all about fun, though," I chimed in.

"It is. My sisters and I did it twice. They just think it's not safe."

"I have to agree with your parents. I didn't let my daughter trick or treat for three years. I bought a lot of candy and decorated the house. Pretended each room was a different house," Pam admitted. "You have to understand, parents have a rational fear. We have to protect our children from any type of harm."

"I wish mine were like that," I muttered out loud.

"Sorry, Damien, would you like to say something?" Pam asked in a concerned tone. The whole room turned to me. Shit, I tightened my mouth.

"Nothing. No."

"Okay, um we can keep the subjects on holidays. What does everyone celebrate?"

"I'm Canadian and we celebrate Thanksgiving in October." A girl with red hair said.

"My family celebrates Nigerian Independence Day and Christmas. We started Thanksgiving when I was 8," Olivia answered.

"Beautiful." Pam smiled.

As the group went around, I kept quiet this time. I shared enough. I tilted my head to the side, rolling my neck around until it was over. "Damien, what kind of holiday traditions do you have?"

"Normal ones, like bake cookies. Mom orders in if she comes home late," I shrugged. Me and my sister were used to take out, we had enough menus to order what we wanted on that night. Mom and dad worked long hours, we went to bed and saw them in the morning.

After it was over, I was on my way home. Before I could unlock my phone, I saw Ray by it. His arms were crossed over his chest, frowning. I rolled my eyes, "move."

"I want a fucking rematch." He stepped up to me. I don't have time for this.

"Get the hell out of my way," I pushed him to the side, opening my door, and got in. He yelled more curses at me, I turned on the engine, speeding off.

I concentrated on the road, rubbed my eyes with my thumb and index finger. I made the random decision to go to the mechanic shop. I've called several times before class and group therapy. I kept getting a dial tone. Where the hell was Ted? I entered, ready to see if I was on the clock any of the week. The manager's door was locked. I knocked several times, nothing. Not even a jiggle of the knob would work. "Damn it."

"He left," I heard my coworker, Hector, spoke. I turned and he was carrying two boxes close to his chest.

"What?" I frowned.

"Vacation," he grunted, dropping them on the table. He wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"He didn't tell me anything, what the hell are we supposed to do?" I threw my arms up in frustration.

"Just to wait for him. For now, the shop is closed."

"That motherfu-" I clenched my fists. What the hell was I supposed to do? The point of probation was to keep a steady job and go to school.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"I'm packing up some things he told me to do before I close up, then I'm going home. What are you gonna do?"

"I'm... I don't know. I'll see you, Hector."

"Peace, Damien." I turned around, heading to my car, and drove home. Shit, I'm in no way of waiting for a schedule. No fucking way. I knew what to do.

Saturday Night

The whole week sucked; I couldn't sleep. Ted shut the shop down. I've called places and no one's hiring. Pam kept egging me on to share after what I said to myself. My mind was all over the place, I was gonna get in trouble for drinking for my next test. Fuck it. I laid on the wall, taking in a long sip from my beer. I bobbed my head to the Mac Miller track. Apparently, everyone was dressed up. I saw a girl pass me by, dressed as Elsa from the Disney movie. Someone stopped in front of me, taking off their werewolf mask. He eyed me up and down. "Who are you supposed to be?!" he asked. I was wearing jeans and a leather black jacket.

"James Dean," I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

"Who?!"

"Harry Styles!" I remembered the name because of my sister. She sang that fucking Kiwi song until I didn't want to eat or see any Kiwis. It wasn't about Kiwis anyway; he was smart for that. He had some all right songs, not what I would listen to on the regular. His fans were obsessed, like fanfiction obsessed. I'll give it to the dude, he was handsome. What else could I say?

"Oh, he's hot!"

"I guess!" He walked away. I'm ready to go. The beer was weak. There was no one worth memorizing. I spotted Hank in the corner. He was one  of the few people I remembered in group, understanding him and what he went through and his own thoughts of a perfect body. He was dressed as The Flash, talking to someone wearing a black hooded cape. I walked over, "Hank, hey!"

"Hey! Who are you supposed to be?!" He asked with a frown.

"A ghost!" I smirked.

"Ghosts wear a white sheet over their head!"

"Then that's very unrealistic!"

The person in front of him turned around, Olivia pulled the hoodie off her head, her whole face lit up with a warm smile. "Hi!" She said. I nodded, looking down at the ground.

"Where'd your friend Penny go?!" Hank asked her before taking a sip from his cup.

"Bathroom!" Olivia answered, tugging on her cape.

"What costume is this?!" I pointed at her outfit.

"I went with an old fashion witch! Without the hat!" She pulled it down further, revealing a wooden broomstick. She had dark eyeliner around her eyes, red lipstick, and dangly black heart earrings. The lipstick made her mouth fuller. Red was her color.

"Oh!" I frowned.

"It was all I could think of, I had this coat for a long time! I wanted to come as Eleven from Stranger Things! Looks like most had the same idea here!"

"Yeah, did you see the girl with the rainbow suspenders?!" He pointed behind her. We all turned to the girl in the graffiti blue top, overalls, and rainbow suspenders. She wore her hair up in a half ponytail.

"She's good! Got the outfit straight from the episode!" She nodded. Although I didn't know what this Stranger Things were, I drank from the cup.

"Your boyfriend couldn't come?!" I asked.

"He's out of town!" Hank cleared his throat, "excuse me!" Hank left his spot. It was just me and Olivia. The track changed to J Cole's track No Role Modelz. Olivia was bouncing to the beat, mouthing out the lyrics and swaying side to side to the beat. She's a J Cole fan. She's got good taste. We made eye contact for a second. She looked at her feet, continuing to bop her head.

Why was she being shy again?

"You should get out there and cut loose!" I advised her.

She snorted, "cut loose?!" When she smiled, her cheekbones reached her eyes. It made her entire face light up and her eyes smaller.

"It seems like you want to!" I leaned in closer, I could smell her fruity perfume.

"Do you wanna dance?! With me!"

"No!" I replied quickly. Her head snapped back in shock. She frowned, looking disappointed.

"No, I meant not now!"

"Okay!" She blinked. What the hell did I just say? Why were my hands sweating? It was hot here, more people were piling in. I had to wipe them off on my pants.

"Livvie, Livvie! We're playing Suck and Blow! Come on!" The girl with red hair and a tight blue outfit came over. She looked familiar. I think she was the girl Olivia was with at the race.

"No way!" Olivia shook her head and widened her eyes. She stood her ground as she pulled on her arm.

"It's fun! Just remember to suck in! Hi, gorgeous! You can come, too!" She pulled our hands. We followed behind her into the kitchen. She jumped and announced that she found two more people to play with. The object of the game was to pass the card around with no hands. Suck in and hold the card on your lips. If you let go, you end up kissing the person you were passing the card to.

Olivia was standing next to a guy dressed as Robin. She laughed at whatever he said in her ear. I moved over to her side, standing next to a girl dressed as Harley Quinn. The guy with the Trident in hand went first, he placed the card on his mouth and passed it to the guy dressed as Shazam. Then it went to Penny, Superman, Spiderman, Captain America, a dude in an orange outfit, and Black Widow. She passed it to me; I passed it to the next girl; she passed it to Robin. By the time he was passing to Olivia, the card flew off his lips, pressing it against hers. She didn't stop him; she embraced him, holding onto his neck. His tongue entered her mouth until she pushed him off, giggling and holding her mouth behind her hand. My eyebrows went down. Now I needed to get out of here before I got pissed off. Why did I care? She wasn't my type. I walked off from the crowd, bumping into others.

"Were you supposed to be my Joker?! Or are you in disguise as Bruce?!" A girl asked me when I left. She tilted her head to the side and popped one of her hips, which were too thick for those shorts.

"I think you missed him; besides Joker doesn't care about Harley!" I stepped back once, however, I wanted to play with her and tease her. She looked good. She pulled off the costume amazingly. Maybe I should have come as Joker. I thought I saw Olivia's cape from my peripheral vision. It wasn't her. It looked like she left. With him, probably.

"Yes, he does! He just had a funny way of showing it! You can be my Mr. J. for tonight!" She laid her bat on the floor like a cane and leaned on it. She moved forward, tracing her finger on my lips, "you could definitely pull off the clown prince makeup."

"I'd think I could."

***

I gave my entire body a long stretch and sat up in an unfamiliar room. Looking to my right on the bed, the busty blonde hair was on her face. Her topless chest was rising, snoring low. Her black and red makeup was smudged, Harley, right? Shit, rubbing my dry eyes with my palms, I saw spots. I blinked them away and stood on my feet. Where are my clothes? I saw them on the ground in the corner and picked them up. As I was wearing my shirt and pants, the bed shifted, I heard her moan and stir. I tiptoed for the door before she could wake up. "Leaving so soon?" She asked in a whiny tone. Shit, I shut my eyes tightly. I was so close.

"I got somewhere to be." I wore and tied my shoes, standing up.

"I'll see you around?" She asked.

"Uh-huh," I mumbled, twisting the knob leaving the room. I refused to see her begging expression: pouty lips in a bite, running her fingers through her messy hair and flushed cheeks. She was a fun time last night. Olivia was nowhere to be found when I stepped downstairs. She was either in one of the rooms or went home with the guy she tongued down. I tried to stare at the road to concentrate, it was a good time to visit James.

I parked my car near the entrance. The cold chill touched my skin when the entrance doors opened with a whoosh. I told the receptionist my name, she handed me the visitor's badge. I went to James' room. The door was already open. I heard the familiar sound of his heart monitor beeped steadily. Janna was writing in her spiral journal, pressing the pen hard on the paper. Her black hair was down to her hunched shoulders. "Janna."

Her head snapped up, her big blue-eyed gaze widened, and she smiled, "big bro." She tossed her journal on the seat after standing up, pulled me into her chest for a big hug. It was good to see my younger sister.

"You're supposed to text me when you wanted to come to visit," I stated over her shoulder.

"Relax, I took the bus."

"When did you get here?"

"Ten minutes ago," she shrugged, letting go of my arms she scanned me up and down. "You look like shit."

"Don't feel like it," I boasted. I sat in one of the spare chairs. "Aunty told me he's getting stronger."

"She talked to you. Without screaming?" Janna's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Less of that, more tears. And she apologized."

"Wow. Did I miss that? Huh. How's school for you?"

"How's school for you?" I twisted it back to her.

She rolled her eyes, "Damien, don't do that."

"What?"

"That deflecting crap, talk to me. We're family. As you like to say."

"Oh, I thought we adopted you."

"Shut up. Is the support group good?"

"It's all right."

"Has sleep gotten any better?"

"Are you my doctor now?"

"I'm a better shot since you won't share with anyone else."

"And I don't have to."

"Meet anyone new?"

"I meet people all the time."

"I meant like friends."

"If I can call them that."

"You like them?"

"Let's change the subject. What's going on with you? Any nightmares?"

"It's day by day, nothing happens overnight. You know that." She pointed with a stare. Lord, do I. "I'm dating someone, Ryan. A senior. He's nice."

"Not too nice, right?" I quirked one of my eyebrows, I didn't want to beat another piece of shit like her ex was two years ago. I refused to see her hurt again, the muscles in my head tensed. The memory of Janna in a vulnerable position was one of the reasons that kept me up. My family came together for once. I would do what it takes to protect that. I'm happy she's getting better. That we all were.

"He's harmless. Way better. Mom and dad met him, you should too. Any girls you are interested in?" She inquired, raising her eyebrows suggestively. That question reverted my mind to Olivia, I hesitated. I didn't know what to feel about it, it was strange. The image popped of her and the Robin dude making out, it was fresh in my mind. I fidgeted around my seat.

"Is there?" Her voice went higher, suspicious, she poked my stomach for more.

"The girls I've been with were... Cool."

"But did you feel something deeper than sex?"

"Is there anything deeper than that?" I chuckled.

"Damien, how do you expect anyone to open up to you when you won't?" She shook her head, opening her journal again, clicked the end of the pen in her hand. Both of us sat in silence. I tapped my foot on the hard floor, staring at James. Waiting for a twitch, a blink. Anything.