I rush to the house that I chose myself and knock on the door. What's wrong with me? Was I so repressed in this dump and that's why I'm in such a hurry? It's clear to me now that by giving all my attention to the Mind Games, I unconsciously suppressed the rest of my needs, I only fed myself to survive but I didn't even enjoy my food... not to mention my sexuality.

          Pierce and Tundra open the door and smile mischievously when they see me... Lehman is sitting in an armchair and does exactly the same as the other two when he notices my presence, while the children we brought from Sekthor play in the background... Damn, Johann! Were you that obvious?

          Lumiere: Hello... How are you?

          Pierce: Pretty good, thanks. Are you looking for Johann?

          Lumiere: Eh... yes...

          Tundra: He asked us to tell you he's waiting for you upstairs.

          Lumiere: Thank you... excuse me.

          This is the most uncomfortable moment of my entire life, I quicken my pace and go up the stairs without looking them in the eye, I couldn't handle the shame.

          Tundra: Just look at Johann, he has good taste, I'll give him that.

          Pierce: I'm happy that he can take a break for once in his life, he grew up surrounded by death and didn't have a happy childhood... I hope he makes the most of these moments because we don't know if we'll still be here tomorrow, especially now that we're aware about the situation the world is going through... I have you and it seems that finally, he will also have someone with whom he can have that kind of intimacy.

          Tundra: Let's also take the opportunity to take a good rest, we deserve it.

          I arrive at a room with the door open and find Johann sitting on the edge of a bed... as soon as he sees me, he smiles and still cannot hide his nervousness.

          Johann: Hello.

          Lumiere: Hello.

          After greeting him, I enter the room and lock the door behind me... we look into each other's eyes but neither of us is completely sure how to proceed... after a few seconds, he gets up and walks over to where I am, he pushes my hair away with his hand and I look up to make eye contact again... although that doesn't last long, as we slowly bring our lips closer together and my eyes close instinctively.

          My first kiss, I always knew it would be special... however this is just the beginning, since we move to the bed and little by little the floor is filled with clothes... with our bodies completely naked, the caresses begin and I experience this kind of pleasure for the first time, but when Johann's hand begins to slide towards my waist, a horrible sensation hits me with the force of lightning... the memory of the dungeon, when my motionless body was desecrated.

          Lumiere: Wait! Wait!

          Johann: What's wrong? Did I hurt you?

          Lumiere: No... just... give me a moment.

          I sit on the bed and Johann watches me with concern, I breathe heavily and although there is no mirror nearby, I'm sure that my face denotes anything but joy or pleasure.

          Johann: Sorry! I think I was too fast.

          Lumiere: Don't worry, what happened is not your fault... I just... need...

          Fuck! This had to be one of the best experiences of my entire life... and yet here I am, crying again because of a trauma that I thought I had overcome... I feel so helpless.

          Johann: Can I hug you?

          I nod my head while tears soak my face... he takes me in his arms and I let out my frustration, also wetting him with my crying.

          Johann: Whatever happened, I'm here and we will overcome it together, as well as all the obstacles that have come our way since we first spoke.

          He rubs my hair while talking in my ear... those loving and kind gestures help me calm down a little.

          Lumiere: Thank you... thank you very much.

          Johann: You have nothing to thank me... and when you're ready, we can talk confidently about what's bothering you.

          Am I really ready? I doubt there is an ideal time to talk about... this... so I must take advantage of being with someone so special and continue healing, so I separate myself from the hug and look into his eyes.

          Lumiere: I can trust you, right?

          He takes my hands.

          Johann: Of course.

          I sigh before continuing to speak.

          Lumiere: What I'm going to tell you is something very difficult to express but it's necessary that I do so if I want to completely heal this wound... not long ago, I was a victim of rape, two people took advantage of my body thinking that I was dead... I obviously wasn't and I was also conscious throughout the entire process.

          Johann's expression is one of absolute horror, he never expected something like this... he doesn't know whether to hug me again or stay as he is, he surely thinks that physical contact reactivates the trauma.

          Johann: Lumiere... I had no idea... forgive me for getting carried away and going from a kiss to the next level so quickly.

          Lumiere: Hey... it's not your fault and if I'm telling you this it's because I really trust you... and I care about you.

          Johann: Who... Who were the bastards?

          Lumiere: It's not worth talking about...

           Johann: Lumiere, who did it?!

          After another sigh I simply said "Cobra and Executioner".

          Johann: The two who accompany Shadow?! Sons of bitches! I'll make them pay right now!

          Lumiere: No! That doesn't depend on us.

          Johann: Of course it does! Justice has to be done!

          Lumiere: Johann! It's not about them, those two pay for their actions every day by being physically, psychologically and even sexually tortured by Shadow... it's about me, I want to heal and if I told you this it's because I want to achieve that goal and not take revenge.

          Johann: I don't understand why those three sick bastards are part of our group. We should kick them out!

          Lumiere: Forget about them! Please help me with this difficult process!

          The desperation in my voice made Johann reconsider and his look of hatred was replaced by one of understanding and empathy.

          Johann: I'm sorry... you're right, you're much more important.

          Lumiere: And you... you have no idea how I feel about you... since we spoke through the intercom, a very special bond developed without the need to be face to face... and now that that is finally possible, I really think I found my complement... these are not simple corny things from a teenager in love, it's a sensation so powerful and authentic that I feel in the depths of my soul.

          Johann: I'm so happy to hear that, I thought I was crazy because what I feel for you is the same as what you express, I thought it was impossible to feel something like that for someone I just met... I even considered the possibility that if I felt this way, it was because you were my first possible partner, so my emotions were disproportionate... but who decides how intense the feelings should be and towards whom? If I feel this way it's because it's authentic, and with you I have learned that just as there are powers that go beyond my understanding, there can also be feelings and connections with those characteristics.

          It's one thing to express sincere words of love, but receiving them with the same intensity means that despite all the negative things I have experienced throughout my life, I can smile in the most authentic way at this moment... free of all guilt... free of all remorse, all that remains is to take the last step.

          Lumiere: Come here.

          Johann: Are you sure?

          Lumiere: Help me realize that interactions of this type are not harmful... that what happened to me was just an unfortunate event and from this moment on, there will be no more painful memories associated with this experience, but rather it will be about an exchange of love and a connection between two souls.

          Johann: I love you.

          Lumiere: And I love you too.

          My resistance disappeared and finally Johann and I merged into one being... the bad memories are replaced by warmth and love... I can feel how my soul fragmented by pain returns to its natural state; I expel all the negativity that was still inside me through tears of true happiness... if I previously absorbed darkness when Shadow and I combined our attacks, I'm sure I got rid of it; I'm complete, I feel full and my light manifests itself as it has never done before... my body radiates a white beam that passes through the walls, the ceiling and the floor.

          Johann: Incredible! You are the most beautiful being I have ever seen!

          Lumiere: My light is now part of you... let's heal our physical and emotional wounds together.

          The light spread throughout the group of houses where the inhabitants of the Enthem garbage dump were sheltered, taking them by surprise.

          Pierce: That never happened to us, right?

          Tundra: No... those two are special.

          The glow reached Etoile, who was meditating with her legs crossed and her eyes closed, even so, she felt the energy that her sister emanated and smiled proudly without changing position, although her third eye did open to absorb a little of that powerful light and purify the interior of her being a little more... Trent extended his arms when he felt the luminosity of his friend so that his entire body could feel that warmth, while Paddock, knowing that Lumiere only expels light when she presents very intense emotions, couldn't help but get upset because he knows that it is Johann who is making her feel that way and not him.

          When the light reaches Shadow, he growls a little indicating discontent and throws black smoke around him to cover himself... a little further away, Cobra and Executioner feel the impact of the luminosity as well.

          Cobra: Did you feel it? It's the same light that freed us from the dark place, it gives me a very great warmth... and it makes me think... now that we are here doing nothing, it is a good opportunity to start our path towards redemption, I'm aware that I have done many terrible things, even before Shadow's bad influence... so the first thing I must do is apologize to those I somehow harmed.

          Executioner doesn't respond, he simply remains seated and looking into nothing.

          Cobra: Hello? Did you not hear me? Come on, come with me... we have both behaved badly in the past, but since we were freed by this powerful light, something awakened inside us, the good feelings that were in the depths of our beings.

          More of the same, Executioner doesn't react, so Cobra places her hand on his shoulder.

          Cobra: I know that we've also had to suffer in silence because we didn't have someone to lean on, but now we are with a large group of people and maybe, if we earn their trust, they can help us with everything we need.

          There is still no reaction, Executioner is very traumatized and with his pride so trampled that he doesn't even look at Cobra, who after all, is the one with whom he has the best relationship within the dungeon... feeling Lumiere's light again destabilized him even more, since it's a reminder that love exists and he has never experienced it and surely never will... plus she was able to overcome a traumatic experience caused by Shadow and now she has enough courage to face him, which Executioner has never been able to do and that is destroying him inside.

          Cobra: Fine! Just sit there and do nothing! I do want to change the course of my life! What a pity that within that large and strong body there is a will so fragile that it breaks at the slightest adverse event.

          Feeling sorry for Executioner, Cobra walked away from him and looked for Punkette, whom she quickly found and headed towards her... she reacted defensively because there has never been a good relationship between the two, however, it didn't take her long to calm down when she saw regret in those yellow eyes.

          Cobra: Hello, can I talk to you?

          Punkette: Yes.

          Cobra expected an aggressive reaction from Punkette due to the poor treatment she has always given her... but since that's not the case, she feels even more guilty and is unable to look at her.

          Cobra: I... I just wanted to tell you that I'm very sorry for all the bad things I have done to you... the insults, the attacks... the attempt to...

          Her voice stops and she doesn't know how to continue.

         Punkette: I understand... if your apology really is sincere, then I forgive you.

          Cobra: Huh? Is it that simple? I thought I would have to earn your forgiveness.

          Punkette: I'm not that kind of person, I try not to hold grudges and leave everything negative behind.

          Cobra: But... what I did to you was horrible... It was horrible!

          Punkette: I know, but you regret it and that's what matters.

          A mixture of anger and sadness invades Cobra, she really expected it to be more complicated and obtaining forgiveness in such a simple way makes her shed tears of helplessness.

          Punkette: You are used to the fact that you have to earn everything, that's how it has been since what you had to do to be able to live in the dungeon... but positive feelings are not conditioned, at least those that are really significant... I don't want you to do anything to earn my forgiveness, I only hope that it helps you turn your life around and adopt a new perspective, we are going through a very complicated situation and we need to stay united.

          With a lot of pain inside and difficulty speaking due to crying, Cobra responds.

          Cobra: Thank you very much...

          Punkette: Come here.

          She wraps Cobra in a hug and rubs her back.

          Cobra: I would like to be... half as good a person as you are.

          Punkette: And you can be, but first you need to heal and this is the first step... I'm sure you will achieve it but for that you must also apologize to other people.

          Cobra: I know... I plan to do it right now.

          Punkette smiled and stopped hugging Cobra to look into her eyes, she did the same and smiled back... they nodded their heads silently and left in opposite directions; the next ones she wanted to talk to were Paddock and Trent and luckily for Cobra, she managed to see which house they were taking refuge in, so she went there and knocked on the door... but the one who opened it was Etoile, who had interrupted her meditation when she felt a presence at the entrance.

          Etoile: Do you need something?

          Cobra: Hello... I would like to talk to Lumiere's friends... and also with you.

          With her third eye, Etoile was able to enter Cobra's mind and find out her intentions, so after a sigh, she stepped aside to let her pass... Trent immediately approached but Paddock didn't move from his place, he was in a corner staring at the wall.

          Cobra: Thank you for letting me in... I... I want to apologize.

          Trent: It's the least you can do, although I honestly don't believe you, you're up to something.

          Cobra: No! I'm not the same as before! Ever since Lumiere saved me from that dark place, something changed inside me.

          Etoile: I'm not surprised, after the abominable act you committed against her, she still decided to help you... you have to be someone incredibly pure to leave something so horrible behind and save the life of someone who hurt you so much.

          Cobra is once again overcome with guilt and looks at the ground.

          Cobra: I'm aware of all that and I have to apologize to Lumiere, this time in the most sincere way possible... but first I wanted to apologize to you too, for what I did to you and for harming your sister... your name is Etoile, right? ?

          Etoile: Yes.

          Etoile's gaze is quite serious and heavy, even her third eye gives off that same vibe... Cobra swallows and continues talking.

          Cobra: Trent, at the big event I took it out on you and despite the damage I did to you... before being eliminated we shared a moment of silence with which I was able to release my emotional burdens a little... it's difficult to explain.

          Trent: I noticed, you look pretty rotten inside.

          This is the attitude that Cobra expected from Punkette, she feels that she deserves this treatment and therefore, ironically, she feels better in this situation, despite her sincere regret.

          Cobra: I am... but I want to heal and above all change... I think this is the first step... by the way, what's wrong with Paddock?

          Trent: It's none of your business, if you want to tell him something, do it... but don't get too close to him.

          Cobra: Okey.

          She stands several centimeters away and begins to talk to him, but he doesn't turn to look at her.

          Cobra: Paddock... I want to apologize for the horrible things I said to you before the big event, I now realize how wrong I was and I hope you can forgive me.

          Paddock: Get out.

          Cobra: Oh... yeah... I just wanted you to know.

          She walks away from him and returns to the other two.

          Cobra: I hope you can forgive me too.

          Trent: Whatever, now you're part of the group and we have to accept it... the best thing you can do is leave, you already said what you wanted.

          Cobra: Okay...I...I'll leave now.

          Despite knowing she deserved this treatment, deep down she believed that in the end everyone would forgive her, however no one expressed it openly... once she opened the door, she felt a hand on her shoulder, it was Etoile... Cobra smiled when she felt it, but her face changed when she heard the voice of Lumiere's sister inside her mind.

          Etoile: I know you've had a difficult life too and it's good that you want to change, but if you do anything to my sister again, no matter how small... you will continue to apologize from hell.

          She left the house without looking back and they closed the door behind her, those last words made a cold sweat run down her face.