Book Title: Bandaids and Punches
Written By: lurkinshadow
Chapters Read: 22 (completed)

Cover: 5/5

  I have not encountered this kind of cover just yet, and it looks really good, in my opinion! Especially with the darkened corners and the glow-up effect in the middle and the fonts that make it seemingly pop. I really like the aesthetic.

  However, if I was looking at it through the fancy eye alone, it would've gotten a perfect score. In my opinion, while the glow up looks nice, it also... sorta blurs out the actual words that we readers are supposed to be able to read. Like the author name, or the pen name. Maybe it's the image resolution. Or that's probably just me being the nearsighted mole that I am.

  (Maybe this book should've been called Night Mole Reviews instead lol)

  Also... I just wanna add in to say that I really like the title. It sets the two character and their themes and connecting them in a strangely unique way. The name itself even has a nice ring to it.

Blurb: 4.5/5

  The first line actually made me chuckle. *holds out hands* don't hang me in the gallows just yet, I am, by all means, not making fun of the blurb/synopsis. It just sort of... gives me that fleeting thought of, "well, of course it would be illegal. What would be the clear opposite term for legal?"

  Legal during the day, Illegal at night.

  The sentence sounds awkward, because the two clearly opposite terms were used word for word in that one-liner. It just makes a reader see the absolute obvious. Personally, I think this is just a taste, but it also appears a tad repetitive.

  A blurb is like a movie trailer, spoken it that epic movie trailer voice. No matter how embarrassing it gets, the whole point is to make the entire thing flare up in an epicly-epic-epicness with drama. So as an excercise, try reading the blurb out loud with an epic movie trailer narrator voice or something, see how it fits.

  A blurb also needs to have the four essential elements as to what makes this story different, and how, without revealing the parts you want them to find out more of. Character, Setting, Plot, and Stakes. And for me, the stakes in it weren't as fleshed out well enough so the dramatic flare right at the beginning didn't have a payoff and didn't quite sit so well.

  Also... it's stated that Haneul is already in the underground world as he's working as a doctor for the fight club. So that addition in the end with him risking his status for Dae Ho is kinda... already given, in my opinion.

  I think placing in a greater hint at the things Dae Ho is involved in is a good idea, so the latter half of the plot doesn't seem like it's swiveling away without much control.

  Also... how about portraying that while Haneul is working along the underground world, he was just forced along.

  "Will he be able to keep with the underground world long enough to save Ace from it?" or something similar sounds like a more dramatic flair compared to him just associating himself with Ace. It gives us a sense of danger that Dae Ho might be in more of a trouble than we initially thought, and adds in a layer of curiosity as to how he would pull him back, or if Dae Ho himself would even be willing to get away from all of that.

  Well, those are my opinions on the blurb. But what do you think?

Description: 3/5

  Personally, the description isn't my cup of tea. I tend to crave the long winded ones that give out a lot of visualization on both the setting, the characters, and what they're currently feeling at the moment.

  But, personal tastes aside, the style is minimalistic and the words are simple and easy to grasp, as well as the sentence structuring itself. It was a very neat, smooth read that doesn't have to require much concentration and tension. The atmosphere in the scenes are more on the lighthearted approach as well, and before I knew it, I was already seamlessly gliding through the chapters without realizing it.

  The added timeframes above separated scenes give us an insight on when everything else is happening and also provides us with a clear showing of how long Haneul had to keep trying to have Ace finally open up to him. It doesn't happen in a span of days or weeks like in other books because of the not too tense atmosphere to the plot itself, but months. It lets us see them grow and interact with each other in a much faster, yet less boring pace.

  Another unique aspect I felt the need to address was the usage of the images for the texting aspect f the story. Others might say that it isn't so appropriate to include pictures in the middle of a story chapter and such, but personally I think this was very well done and fleshed things out more. Pictures in novels — especially in text form — aren't really as uncommon as they say though, since I've also read some published paperbacks with these kinds of texting format. It's a nice aesthetic to add.

  One thing I had in mind though... was that the fight scenes weren't so... fight-scene-ish. It was quick, though there were a lot of talking, but it just didn't hype me up, I suppose. Probably because most of the action used in the fight scenes Dae Ho is in is lackluster and vague. You get the initial idea of what he was trying to pull off, but then you wonder just how he does it and then it's pretty confusing afterwards.  

  One of the fight scenes in the story that I disliked (sorry) is when Haneul tried to help a woman from getting mugged and the thugs turn their sights onto him instead. Dae Ho helps him out and a half-fight, half-chase commences, though the entire thing was filled to the brim with he.

  Are all the men in that scene identical? I could not figure out who was getting hit by who, because there weren't any defining characteristics on their opponents. Description is important during these parts, as well as choreographed scenes to make the fighting transition smoother.

  Wondering how to make it smoother? Grab a partner and (force) ask them to play along with you. If you're alone, you can act out the scenes individually, see how the baddies would react, how Dae Ho's movements would break through their defences, or how he would overpower them with his own sheer force. Show us how he manages all this. Let us in on the blood sweat and tears of the fight to make it more impactful and clear using quick words and actions to help blend them in together.

  Speaking of show, I noticed there was a lot of things lacking in that department. Especially with the narrative on Dae Ho's past. The paragraphs in which he tells is past to Haneul is way too long and clumped up in an info dump, and it doesn't show us exactly how he feels about it, which bummed me out a little because I had to stop every now and again because of it.

  Again, this might be coming from personal tastes and you can take this part with a grain of salt, but I think it would've been better if the POV utilized here would be from Dae Ho's perspective.

  That way, the pain he felt would be easier to convey to us, from his voice, his thoughts, his little mannerisms like clenching and unclenching his fists, or the way his stomach would turn to knots just at the memory of his grandmother. Little things like those help show to us just how devastating it was for Dae Ho without being too overbearing with the dialogue and the telling. And I think the same could be said to the other plot points that require Dae Ho narrating most of it to Haneul.

Grammar: 3/5

  While the description is pretty smooth and easier to follow, the grammar is... I wouldn't say it's bad, it's just sort of inconvenient and bumpy to the eyes. I couldn't go through the entire thing without my eyes catching the little misses here and there that were slowly building up to further disconnect me from the story and grind my boredom gears.

  In the end I was engaged enough by the characters of the story to care, so I managed to move past the Grammar Nazi phase and ignore some of the inconsistencies that were very repetitive throughout the story. So yeah, balancing it out is great.

  First off:

  This is a singular-plural mistake, along with clashing tenses, though I had forgotten to underline the term 'apply.' Why is this a tense clash, you ask? Well, since this part is discussing that Haneul could've been if he hadn't pursued medicine, technically the entire latter half of the paragraph should've been in past tense. Also, Haneul is only one person, so this should've been:

  If he wasn't a doctor-in-training, he would've most definitely applied for a model.

  Next up is:

  Double punctuation and the difference between what we commonly refer to as 'dialogue tag' and 'action tag.'

  Using two punctuation marks at the same time is said to be a no-no. I don't know if the rules have changed now since this has become such a common trend, but here we'll stick to ye ancient Grammarians. Having an exclamation point and a question mark together is like putting a period and a comma together after closing a sentence. It's unnecessary.

  You can stress out how the man is screaming by removing the exclamation point and simply reverting it to an intense all caps, or you can simply remove the question mark. Because he's screaming that sentence, then it most likely means that Haneul already knows the question and isn't really asking him. It's just for the purpose of reminding him, with then makes the exclamation point seem more relevant.

  Now onto the dialogue tag and action tag! I've seen a lot of these issues in throughout the book, — whether it may be thought of as on purpose or not — so I'll start off with breaking down the definition for both.

  An action tag is just basically when an action follows the character's statement. This usually ends with a period and followed by a capital letter, since the character is pretty much starting off a different sentence.

I.e:

  "This review sure is taking a while." Pai flops down the floor and dies of sheer boredom.

  Meanwhile, a dialogue tag is basically just how said character chooses to convey their statements. If it's a declarative sentence then it's most likely to end in a comma instead of a period, and so words that aren't proper nouns wouldn't be capitalized anymore. The earlier underlined statement is one of those. Even if an exclamation point was used, 'exclaimed,' is a tag that is added onto the earlier dialogue in order to give it life and emphasis.

I.e:

  "I'm thinking of just starting a grammar help book someday," muttered Pai, taking a sip of her purple hot cocoa and floating marshmallows.

  Another example of this is something from the other way around that I spotted as well. Just gonna add this in and then we're gonna move on to the next one:

  This can work, actually. You don't have to change much, but this is basically a reverse approach to the action tag I mentioned earlier. And if it's an action tag, then there's no need to add a comma before the statement occurs. This can either be just changed to a period and capitalized letters, or changed so it fits the dialogue tag.

I.e:

  Ace shrugs before adding, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Or just:

  Haneul uncaps his orange juice and glares. "Let's not do this again. Two can play this game."

  Well, it's pretty much up to you. What do you think?

  Next up is:

  One of the things that constantly deterred me from the flow of the story were the commas. It was... sort of distracting, how they were often placed incorrectly or not placed at all. It feels off not being able to pause at certain parts of the sentence, and it also feels off to be pausing at the parts of a sentence where you're not supposed to pause.

  Basically, again, we're going back to having to read your work out loud once the entire chapter is finished, up for publishing, or up for editing. It's easier to spot little mistakes like these than when you're reading them in your head. Your mind is used to what you've written and automatically overrules those minor missing details, while having your mouth to accompany them will make it actually sound and flow nicely.

  I myself haven't been able to keep that up for long without shutting up (it's hella embarrassing) but trust me when I say that it works.

  As for the last one I underlined, it supposedly just sounds off and awkward. How about changing it up to:

  Haneul waves, grabbing his cola and leaving the place.

  Or maybe it could be:

  Haneul waves, grabs his cola and leaves the place.

  Again, it's up to you! ^-^

  And... this is the last one:

  It sounds... awkward, if you ask me. I suppose it's the sentence structure that makes it as such. Maybe it's because the writing here is clashing with the minimalistic style that was already established throughout the story so far and that's why it sounds weird. So this is basically saying that the doubts aren't in Dae Ho's mind anymore, right? So this could be rephrased into:

  Dae Ho walks behind him, all tension and doubt disappearing from his train of thoughts.

  It fits with the narrative more that way, too.

  Also, another term that I swear I remembered somewhere along the story but forgot to screenshot (or accidentally deleted with this goldfish memory of mine) was when someone stated that they "could care less."

  That means they do care — at least a little. The correct term here is actually, "couldn't care less," because it implies that the said person really doesn't care. The attention they've given is the least they could give, no more, no less. Anywho, that concludes the grammar stuff for this review! I found more of similar nature throughout the story, as well as typos, but I believe that'll be automatically taken care of in the editing process, so they weren't added in anymore. These were the major stuff I found, and I hope this helps!

Characters: 3.5/5

  First off... I absolutely adore your characters. They were quippy, snarky, smart, blunt, and they each have their own personalities that they each hold dear and in turn, make me find them so darn endearing too.

  Especially Ace. (A.k.a Dae Dae) I like him, as well as his interactions with Haneul. We don't normally see a main character that was initially rich because people usually prefer characters who are underdogs, but this one is just a breath of fresh air for me. Both characters have their strengths and flaws, as well as their own bout of misunderstandings with each other, which is a good thing. In the end of it all they grow as characters and individuals.

  Dae is more prominent when it comes to said growth. Haneul is... well, he's sort of a static character in the way that the growth in him was mostly that part where he reconciles with his father because of Dae Ho. He has his kindness at all, but personally I didn't feel like Haneul grew much from with what already has. He constantly stands up for his friend Dae Ho and learns self defense by the last parts, though there really wasn't anything else that fleshed him out the way Dae Ho did.

  Maybe it's just me wanting to see how he would grow and change, to see how he would further better himself as his own person.

  Haneul aside, there has been one character I've always wanted to talk about that wasn't as prominent as the two of them, and is just supposed to be as important. And that person is Jisoo. I wasn't really so ecstatic anymore when I got to see him in like... the very last parts of the story. In my opinion, his side of the story would've been wonderful to explore. The only close encounter we ever had of him and Dae Ho was when he visited his apartment, and when someone had mistaken him for Dae Ho.

  But other than that, his character was fairly static and he just seemed like such a minor character to be pushed to the side. I wanted to see him fleshed out more, and not just this kind man who has a really bad disliking for the illegal world and would really quickly come to accept things. The payoff with Dae Ho and Jisoo finally meeting doesn't feel earned because of this, because we readers were only invested in the other half and not the latter half.

  Jisoo also seems to be revolving inside a large bubble of his own? Because... with how much exposure Dae Ho was getting, especially with the family meeting and him supposedly being there and causing that scene with Haneul's dad, I just found it a little too unrealistic that Jisoo wouldn't have at least caught wind of this. About the fact that he seems to have a doppelganger, or about the fact that he's been so excluded.

  I felt the need to talk about him more because he's just as important as Dae Ho is because they're twins. And while he might not be in on the action as much as the main two are, there should've been more personality put into him for us to also be invested in what he would've thought about the idea of his twin being alive.

  As for the other characters that weren't as major as the three, and the supposed underground baddies of Korea, there wasn't so much hype surrounding them because there wasn't much build up, nor any previous information that could've stood out to the readers. This didn't really bother me as much since they're minor characters, but it's relevance to the plot will surely be discussed.

Plot: 3/5

  The plot has been made clear to us readers from the get-go, which in turn makes everything else such an easy read. We know where the whole thing is going, we have burning questions regarding how this is gonna go, and we are curious and we WANT them answers.

  Yes, it craves us into reading the next chapters and they're all finely set up and separated into individual bits that make the reading experience one of the smoothest things there is.

  The plot revolves around Haneul accepting the job to be an underground fight club's doctor for the sake of knowing more about Ace, the guy who looks nearly exactly like his other friend, Jisoo. I'm not normally a fan of Korean names and terms because I don't know much to begin with, but they made such an impact on me that I managed to get past the new, foreign feeling of it all and feel excited for them despite being the clueless little twerp that I am in the culture.

  This is gonna be one random advice, but how about placing the meaning of the Korean terminology used in the story that the readers haven't encountered just yet (or might not know) at the end of the chapter? I got the oppa and hyung parts, though admittedly, it did take me a while to work around and remember the other words and their meanings. Don't worry though, this is just some random suggestion and doesn't affect my overall score with the plot at all.

  Now that's it's all said and done, let's get onto the meat and potatoes! Firstly, while I did say the entire thing about Dae Ho and Haneul's predicament about their earlier questions regarding him and Jisoo was smooth and kept me on my toes, there were certain plot points further along the story that made me slog through the rest of the chapters. I think it was from Chapter 13 (random assumption) and onwards, when Dae Ho was accused of murder and put up on trial.

  Sure, it was surprising, it was a point we didn't see coming and all, but that was it. There wasn't much build up that led to me getting invested in how it would go, but as to how it just suddenly happened.

  Personally speaking, suspense is better than surprise. I'd rather trade the surprise aspect for the suspense because of the fact that while surprise sure is impactful, it only lasts for a couple moments until the entire thing dies down. Suspense, on the other hand, lasts for an excruciating amount of hours, or even days because of update time. It's what keeps us on the edge of our seats because we readers already have an inkling of what might happen and we're just waiting for that moment when the impact hits.

  And that's sort of the thing with the later plot points in the story. Dae Ho's arrest, Dae Ho's motorcycle accident, and then later on, Haneul's kidnapping. It was a surprise, sure, but there wasn't any suspense nor build up as to how it might go down. And personally, I think that's what makes a story more dramatic in their own way.

  Utilize switching POVs around, to let us see the other side of the story. Drop in hints, make the characters who will later appear to be important as important as they are by fleshing them out and making them stand out from the rest of the side characters. Otherwise, there would be no build up with us going all, "Whoa, so it was his plan all along?" or, "Wow, it all makes sense with his appearance earlier on now!"

  Suspense doesn't immediately mean there wouldn't be any surprise. Unreliable narrators, perspective, subversion of expectations, would all still nail the part of a good mystery with the help of suspense. It's just what's keeping us going, because of all the questions in our minds.

  Like the motorcycle accident, it just came off as a surprise and nothing more. Granted, it was just an accident, but in my opinion, it would've been better if we got a glimpse of Jisoo's POV at that moment instead of him just narrating it. There was a bit of suspense with how Haneul is thinking that it might be on purpose, but there wasn't much of a payoff with it as much as if we saw (or read) the accident itself in Jisoo's eyes and cutting to Haneul's normal day and getting that text informing him of the accident.

  Or maybe the text didn't even happen, and he remains clueless about it (except for us readers who already know) until the ambulance arrives and he thinks it was just a random patient. He thinks to himself that he's gonna be so tired and he just wants to help the man and finish things up quickly. And that's when he sees Dae Ho, his face and torso caked in blood, one arm mangled and bruised, a couple shards sticking by his flesh as his crimson blood stained the white sheets.

  Surprise on Haneul's part, Suspense on ours.

  The final parts of the last chapter was sweet, and it finally closed off the entire thing nicely. Personally, the last twist question about their friendship is unnecessary, but if you're aiming to build up hype for the Sequel, (which, I have no idea how to handle lmao) then I think that's a bit of a nice touch as well.

  Alright... now that we're done with the story plot points, let's go over with the things I consider as plot devices and plot holes in the story, shall we?

  Firstly, Haneul is hella famous, but he leads a double life. That literal aspect of his double life is a.k.a Black Ace, Dae Ho. However, I found it sort of strange that the idea of his other friends and relatives knowing about Dae Ho and mistaking him for Jisoo or vice versa isn't further addressed in the story. Why is there no single relative of Haneul that knows about Jisoo? And why is there no talk about the new model Dae Ho that is spreading around in his group circle of friends at the very least? There wasn't any laid out information on how his identity kept getting curved, like the Stoned Beauty keeping things under wraps until the very end part of the story. But even so, I'd have expected more talk about Dae Ho's exposure and it reaching Jisoo's ears one way or another. But I supposed no... because... plot device reasons?

  That part about the hummingbird tattoo as well. It seemed a little too convenient for my taste that Dae Ho just happened to know all that even though he's worked illegally for the most part. As I had referred to before, it was a surprise, and there was no hinting at this on the previous chapters aside from that one where it's used as Deus Ex Machina for the sake of them managing to get away.

Realism: 4/5

  I have some minor questions regarding the realism of the characters and their occupation, especially since medical-related plots and storylines need the most accuracy in them in order to make it believable. If you can remember, I had asked in the first chapter what kind of residency he had. The medicine aspect is something the story can sort of get away with since it wasn't as heavily focused on his profession and more on the fact that he has to go around patching up the underground fighters of the arena.

  I don't know much about the police force just yet, but the way one of the officers threatened Haneul when he just wanted to know what was going on is unethical of them and isn't supposed to be allowed. Police officers aren't the bad guy, they're supposed to help out those who are in trouble with the law and set others straight. Besides, an officer can't arrest someone just for being there and panicking in the heat of the moment. They're supposed to be used to those things already.

  And one of the last things I would like to mention is the trial arc that happened along Chapters 12 or so. When Haneul came late to present the new video evidence just in time before the judge could say that Dae Ho was guilty, I found it weird that an outside party would be able to change the jurisdiction as such so easily. Please keep in mind that while I do have some surface knowledge regarding the trial system, I wouldn't know about the exceptions to the rule or such, so please feel free to correct me if any of my words here doesn't feel right.

  Evidence proposed to the court should be legally kept track of before the court proceedings. That is for the sake of the attorney/prosecutor learning their case and how they're supposed to play out the cards in their hands. Not only is it supposed to be officially examined, but it also needs to be acknowledged by both sides of the party as well. So basically, what Haneul did was wrong.

  He could've presented the evidence at that point, and it would've been accepted, but Dae Ho's trial will be prolonged for the sake of that video, and not just for the judge to announce that he's not guilty right off the bat. I hope that part made sense. I understand the need to use dramatic flair and all though, but that part of the proceeding just seemed off to me. As well as the fact that no one else is supposed to be talking in court other than the witnesses, the lawyers, and the judge. Proper mannerisms and such should be practiced in there, after all.

Total Score: 26/35

  Heya, Pai here! What did you think of the review? I hope this would soon help out with your future editing process.

  First off... I wanna apologize for being late with my own schedule. A glitch happened just yesterday and deleted half this entire review. Basically I had to speedrun the entire thing because I was stupid enough not to write them down on another docs.

  But with that being said and done, I just wanna congratulate you for finishing your book, that's an amazing feat to do, as not all writers have the stamina to keep going onwards with their work. (*cough* me *cough*)

  Keep up with the great work, and I wish you the best of luck with your sequel!

Total Word Count: 4894

  ...huh. Is it just me or are these reviews getting longer? 🤣