3rd POV

Monarch: Hello everyone, today we are Smash or Passing. It's Smash or Pass 2.0 with Cy Yu and the extravagant Fang Tanaka.

Y/N: Hello again.

Monarch: Hi Fang~, so nice of you to join us.

Cy Yu: Woah, woah hold on! THE Fang Tanaka?! Holy shit!

Y/N: Yeah, it's me. Wassup.

Monarch: HAHA, Cy Yu just casually being a fan boy. I get that.

Cy Yu: It's just awesome he's here!

Monarch: Okay calm down now. Pretty much the same rules as Smash or Pass one, but this time two characters are in the ring fighting for our love and attention. We can only smash one, but we can pass on both.

Cy Yu: I'm ready!

Monarch: I'm ready too, Fang you ready?

Y/N: Always.

Monarch: That's what I like~. 3. 2. 1!

Cy Yu: I have my answer!

Monarch: Umm.. Umm..!

Cy Yu: Shamir! (Anime Moan)

Y/N: What the- HAHAHA! The timing!

Cy Yu: Why did someone-! PLAY AN ANIME MOAN?!

Monarch: Timing. Impeccable! I'm the chaotic one so I need like a rock, I feel like Shamir would be more of a rock.

Y/N: Okay, to be completely honest, no idea who these girls are-.

Cy Yu: What~? Really?

Y/N: Yeah, so I'll just pick Shamir if you guys are picking her.

Y/N: Oh shit.

Cy Yu: (LE GASP) FUCK! AAAHHH! GOD! Ahh Shenhe, Shenhe! Sorry!

Monarch: I'm gonna say Raiden Shogun. Only because Shenhe I've been joking that she's a clone. I can't really.. Can't really smash myself. I mean.. Haha, I really fucking love myself so Shenhe.

Y/N: Aww man.. I really love both..

Cy Yu: Well, it depends who you main Fang, who do you actually main?

Y/N: Raiden.

Cy Yu: There you go. Shenhe by the way also got the hair covering the eye thing and I love that shit.

Monarch: My model has that too that's why I always say that she's a clone!

Cy Yu: Yeah, but you're not as cool. HAHAHAHA!

Y/N: Oh man-! (WHEEZES).

A/N: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!

Cy Yu: Are you an exorcist?! I think she muted.

Monarch will definitely not forget that.

Monarch: I will not forget that! I... I... Will not forget that. And shut up Fang! I thought we were close!

Y/N: M-Monarch..! HAHA! I-I'm sorry!

Cherry Blossom vs Joe

A/N: No picture, but you already know Joe.

Monarch: Look at him! Look at that face! Look at those pecs!

Y/N: I'll have to agree with you on those.

Monarch: His boobs are bigger than mine!

Cy Yu: Pfft-. (WHEEZES~)

Y/N: Not entirely, Monarch. You're kinda packing down there aswell~.

Cy Yu: OH. MY. GOODNESS! HAHAHA! Get me out!

She'll definitely not forget that. (2)

Cy Yu: And he cooks?! Yeah, no smash.

Monarch: Not even smash.. Marry!

Cy Yu: I'd marry him while smashing him.

Monarch: So romantic!

Y/N: Y'all weird as hell.. I dig it though.

Monarch: Wraith. Wraith. Wraith!

Y/N: Yeah, to be honest. Wraith's best girl.

Cy Yu: I think Wattson's cute as fuck.

Monarch: Yeah. She's cute. Like a puppy.

Y/N: Huh? That's your comparison to her?

Cy Yu: What the fuck?!

Cy Yu: Wait...

Y/N: Okay, to be fair. Naofumi looks unintentionally good looking.

Monarch: Really..? I don't fuck with either of these dudes.

Cy Yu: I don't fuck with either! If it was for soul appearance on either one of these, I'd agree with sir Fang.

Monarch: Yeah. I'd rather be... Dead. Than smash Naruto. I'm so sorry.

Y/N: Man, it's crazy because there's really something about him, like a really big turn off.

Cy Yu: True. True. Especially time skip Naruto. DISGUSTING HAIR!

Monarch: I couldn't even look at Naruto when Kakashi is right there... But then again~.. I already have my eyes on someone~..

Cy Yu: Oh no not this again-!

Y/N: And who might that be Monarch~..

Cy Yu: NO! BOTH OF YOU STOP!

Monarch: Hey, I know my worth. Okay, 3. 2. 1!

Cy/Mona/Y/N: What the fuck am I looking at?!

Cy Yu: What the fuck am I actually looking at?!

Y/N: This is... Huh?!

Monarch: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

Cy Yu: Let me fuck the Hudson! Let's go!

Monarch: Wait really?

Y/N: Seriously?

Cy Yu: AAHHH-!

•••

Cy Yu: Gang Orca? Oh my God... It's the male version of like Shylily or some shit.

Monarch: HAHAHA!

Y/N: Now I can't unsee it. Great, thanks Cy.

Cy Yu: You're welcome HAHAHA!

Monarch: I'm gonna fuck the car.

Cy Yu: No-! I don't fucking know! I'd rather fuck neither of them! Well If I'm picking one, I'll pick male Shylily.

Monarch: If I had to... Same. How about you Fang?

Y/N: ...Are you guys fucking kidding right now?

Monarch: HAHA, COME ON!

Y/N: There's no way in my life years will I even talk to these guys. Not even one word!

Cy Yu: So, base on appearance, you'd fuck a car?

Y/N: ..This is absolutely horrendous..

You may not hear it but you can just imagine their laughter from your ears.

Monarch: I know my standards.

Cy Yu: Yeah, and your standards is you'd fuck the car huh?

Monarch: NO! NO! Neither! Pass neither of them! Don't put words in my mouth! Don't clip this!

Y/N: We're too late, they're probably editing these.

Cy Yu: Oh definitely, HAHA.

Cy Yu: I'm gonna go with Sara. Literally just because of the red hair.

Monarch: I kinda like Schera.

Cy Yu: It's the whip isn't it?

Y/N: Obviously..

Monarch: It's the whip-.

Cy Yu: HAHAHAHA!

Monarch: It's the silver hair, it's a weakness of mine.

Cy Yu: The funny thing is I knew when I saw that fucking whip I'm like: You gonna pick her...

Monarch: The whip will always win, right Fang?

Y/N: To be fair, not into that, but I do see Schera as an attractive woman so yeah.

"Himbo with whip, isn't that Trevor Belmont?"

Monarch: Who?

Y/N: Oh yeah, actually it does.

A few seconds of research...

Monarch: ...Oh, oh my. That's, that's it. That's- Tha-.

Y/N: She just went into overdrive with that.

Y/N: OH MAN!

Monarch: ...I. Fucking. Hate you...

Cy Yu: I know my answer.

Monarch: Yeah I know my answer too! But I don't like it!

Cy Yu: Say it at the same time.

Y/N: Sure.

Cy/Mona/Y/N: 3. 2. 1. Meg!

Y/N: Well that went well.

Cy/Mona: Yeah.

Cy Yu: HAHAHAHA!

Monarch: (Sad Queen Noises) I'm so upset! I'm actively pursuing Thanatos right now in the game!

Cy Yu: That's gonna be a very awkward conversation between the two of you.

Y/N: To be fair Meg is easier to hang out with.

Cy Yu: Yeah, that's true.

Monarch: She's got a fucking whip! My goal is to date them both at the same time which I think I can make it happen.

Naughty, naughty~.

Monarch: A thing with me with dating games, is once the character wants me, I no longer want them.

Y/N: No wonder why you're so twisted.

Monarch: You still fell for me Fang!

Cy Yu: You're the worst!

Monarch: I'm like, no! This doesn't do it for me anymore!

Cy Yu: Yeah, so like "this is everything I've ever wanted! I'm done with this toy now!"

Y/N: Yeah, sounds like Monarch, silly woman.

Y/N: This is interesting.

Monarch: I feel like if you sleep with Cloud, he'd fucking cry.

Cy Yu: But have you heard the way Sephiroth just says: "Cloud...?" Yeah, no.. It's fucking Sephiroth.

Y/N: Yeah, no challenge. Although I really like Cloud as a brother.

Cy Yu: Silver is a really cool character. He does have that like hardened attitude.

Monarch: Did you say daditude?

Cy Yu: No...

Monarch: Oh...

Cy Yu: Wh-.. (Sigh) My God...

Monarch: I heard, he has this hard daditude. Which is now a vocabulary word in my Repertoire.

Y/N: You're probably going to list all the potential daddies in every anime. Which I think will be really funny.

Monarch: I'll put you there if you want Fang~..!

Y/N: Fine by me momm-.

Cy Yu: WILL YOU TWO QUIT IT! I fucking hate both of you...

Y/N: Jokes aside, sure I'll pick Silver.

Cy/Mona/Y/N: (Currently Dying!)

Cy Yu: Itto! It's Itto. I don't give a fuck how much of a whore Ayato looks like. His whore gloves, his Booba-!

Monarch: His whore sword, His whore outfit, his whore hair!

Y/N: All right. Itto it is then.

Monarch: Why Doom Slayer thicc? Look at all of that!

Y/N: He do be thick to be fair.

Cy Yu: But keep the mask on I don't wanna see the face.

Monarch: It's giving me like slight Ninja Turtles vibes, which is turning me off incredibly.

Y/N: But I actually love Ninja Turtles..

Monarch: You're weird...

Y/N: Oh so I'm the weird one now?! You'd literally fuck a car-!

Monarch: I PASSED ON THEM BOTH FANG!

Y/N: DON'T SCREAM AT ME WOMAN!

Monarch: I'LL SCREAM AT YOU WHENEVER I WANT-!

Cy Yu: Huh... They do look perfect together HAHA!

Monarch: Kaeya.

Y/N: Yeah, Kaeya.

Cy Yu: Fuck Diluc!

Monarch: Diluc, Deez Nuts!

Y/N: Mirko, definitely Mirko.

Cy Yu: Ghislaine is so cool though..

Monarch: She's so hot!

Cy Yu: They're both... Fuck~..!

Monarch: Ugh~..!

Cy Yu: Alright, Imma go with Fang on this one, Mirko! Mainly because Latina.

Y/N: Respect.

Monarch: Los Leg Muscles. I agree.

Y/N: Wow.

Monarch: Ew. Both pass. It's not horny enough for me.

Cy Yu: Oh but Fang is? No offense.

Monarch: (Gasp)

Y/N: None taken.

Monarch: How dare you say that! Don't you dare compare him to these weirdos!

Cy Yu: Welp, I kinda expected you to react like that.

Monarch: NOOO! Would rather die!

Cy Yu: Shrek human form? Still gross bro!

Y/N: Actually Shrek human form does look okay. But yeah, this a pass.

Monarch: Hmm... "Shrek is life, Shrek is love?"

Cy Yu: Shrek can go fu-!

•••

A/N: No one disrespects shrek.

Y/N: What the- No challenge at all, Vanitas is the man.

Cy Yu: Facts, Vanitas!

Monarch: Oh yeah, Vanitas!

Cy Yu: Get this Bungo Stray Dogs boy out of here.

Monarch: HAHAHA!

Cy Yu: People are like "Ranpo cause Vanitas is a bitch!"

Y/N/Monarch: That's why I like him. Jinx!

Cy Yu: HAHAHAHA! So yeah, Vanitas.

Monarch: We're aligning. Our chacras are aligned today.

Cy Yu: Give it time! Give it time! That will change real quick.

Y/N: Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru.

Monarch: Yeah, Sesshomaru.

Cy Yu: Hold on, that's Kurama from Yu Hakusho.

Monarch: Oh no...

Y/N: Still Sesshomaru.

Cy Yu: That's his demon form!

Monarch: Ohh~..!

Cy Yu: Like his full-on demon.

Monarch: Oh no~..!

Cy Yu: I'm gonna go with Kurama.

Monarch: Oh no! Actually...

Cy Yu: Yeah? Yeah?! Say it! Say it! Join me! Do it! Do it! Yes~! Say Kurama~!

Y/N: Wow, the manipulation is extreme on this one.

Monarch: He's got a fucking whip!

Y/N: What an absolute bottom.

Monarch: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Sesshomaru! I'm so sorry Fang! Oh NOOOOO-!

Cy Yu: HAHAHAHA!

Monarch: Shut up!

Y/N: Okay, this is difficult.

Cy Yu: Dante. Dante.

Monarch: These are the same man.

Cy Yu: That is not true!

Monarch: The same man.

Cy Yu: THAT IS NOT TRUE!

Monarch: What is it from?

Y/N: Wow, you're so unbelievable this stream Monarch.

Cy Yu: DEVIL MAY CRY!

Monarch: Oh yeah.. Hehe..

Cy Yu: (Triggered) How do you not know Devil May Cry?!

Y/N: She's not a woman of culture, can't believe I loved you for who you are-.

Monarch: I know Devil Man Cry, I'm just testing you guys!

Cy/Y/N: You're so full of shit.

Monarch: Whatever, it's Dante.

Y/N: Vergil for me.

Monarch: I should play Devil Man Cry hm?

Y/N: Stop saying Man Monarch, it's May!

Cy Yu: This is getting ridiculous. I fucking hate you dude..

Y/N: Oh-. Nope, nah uh!

Monarch: I. Fucking. Hate you!

Cy Yu: Motherfucking-! You fucking-! I can't believe you did this to me! AHHHH!

Monarch: This is... This is too much.

Y/N: Tell me about it.

Cy Yu: I'm gonna have to go Gojo. Because of his fucking eyes.

Monarch: His eyes~.

Cy Yu: Yeah, I'm smashing Gojo.

Monarch: (Daddy War Flashbacks) I... I... AHHH!

Cy Yu: Do it!

Monarch: I'm gonna... I'm gonna go with...! I'm...! I'm gonna...!

Cy Yu: Do it! DO IT NOW!

Monarch: I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T! I CAN'T GO ON!

Cy Yu: Just go! AHHHHHH!

Monarch: It's TOO PAINFUL!

Y/N: Both of you STOP YELLING~!

•••

Cy Yu: Say it.

Monarch: It's Kakashi...

Cy Yu: (LE GASP)

Y/N: I expected that already.

Monarch: It's Kakashi. It always will be Kakashi. He's like the OG thirst

Cy Yu: Look at Gojo.

Monarch: I-I'm looking.. But- But-! But! Okay!

Cy Yu: He's better.

Monarch: But Gojo.. Probably
has many suitors. And I have a feeling that I'm gonna love Gojo.

Cy Yu: And you think Kakashi doesn't?

Monarch: Hehe, no..! But-!

(Insert "You get no BITCHES!)

Monarch: Kakashi walked so Gojo could run.

Cy Yu: And you chose the old man.

Monarch: I like the dads.

Cy Yu: No, you chose the grandpa. Kakashi is a decrepit old geezer now.

Monarch: Go have fun with Gojo. Me and Kakashi-.

Cy Yu: I WILL!

Y/N: Alright, it's my turn-.

Cy Yu: Hold on bro, before you answer. I have something to say about her.

Monarch: Oh my goodness...

Cy Yu: Now, if the situation was flipped. Who would you Smash, Fang or Kakashi?

Monarch: Oh fuck off-!

Cy Yu: No, no! If you don't answer this question then you ain't loyal.

Monarch: Fang?!

Y/N: ...Actually, I wanna hear what you want to say Mona.

Cy Yu: YES! THAT'S MY IDOL RIGHT THERE!

Monarch: N-No... U-Um... I...

Cy Yu: Yeah! You can't escape, now that you've met your match! Tell me Monarch! How does it feel! Tell me!

Monarch: U-Umm... I-.. I'm gonna... AHH! FANG! IT'S FANG OKAY! THERE!

Cy Yu: YES~! EASY! IT'S WAY TOO EASY~!

Monarch: FUCK YOU~!

Y/N: Glad I'm really important to you Mona, I love you~.

Monarch: I-I... L-Love you too..

Cy Yu: Atleast, we get a happy ending.
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