*Cole is injured after a battle downtown Ninjago City. Of course his friends and teammates are worried about him, and urge him to go see a doctor.
However, Cole refuses. He even refuses to take common medicine to ease the pain.

Do you wanna know why? Well, read the story, then ;)
Have fun!

(inspired by a song called "medicine" by 'daughter' and a hc of mine)

TW: mention of blood, hospitals, death, injuries, panic attacks and vomit
_______________________________________

Pick it up, pick it all up

Cole groaned as he shot up in pain, starting under his left shoulder blade and ending in his left knee joint.

Actually, when he thought about it, the whole left side hurt, since that was where he fell on.

A couple of feet down, from a fricking Rooftop.

And start again

He didn't know how long he was being out, but his surroundings were suspiciously quiet.

He tried getting up, but his knee blocked completely, and when he looked down (which he REALLY avoided to), he found out, that on the parts where his Gi was ripped, his hip, his thigh, and his knee were all bruised up and bleeding, and his left ankle (hell no) was slightly swollen.

Even though Cole didn't feel the pain there - as a former dancer he knew something was off.

A ligament was overstretched, or even torn, maybe something was even broken (Cole REALLY didn't even wanna know)

The worst part was his head.

It was THROBBING. His vision was still a little blurry, and even though he must have been unconscious for at least a little while, he felt so so tired.

He almost debated just going back to sleep, when he heard it.

Voices.

You've got a second chance

And they were calling his name.

His friends.

You could go home

"I'm he-", Cole couldn't even finish trying to get their attention by yelling back.

His own voice sent an immense wave of pain through his skull, even though it was already hoarse and feeling dull.

Luckily, his teammates had spotted him already, and so he allowed himself to fall back again.

Bad idea, 'cause now his back also started hurting in the position he was in, but the ground was so comfortable, so peaceful and...

Escape it all, it's just irrelevant

"Cole! Fuck, are you okay?", that was Jay, his voice higher than usual, and the black ninja fought the urge to cover his ears.

"I..'m fi..ne", his voice slurred a little bit, WHY did it slur?!

He tried sitting up again, but this time it were hands, that were holding him back.

He looked down, saw the blood on his body again, almost keeled over by the sight, and focused on the hands again.

Icy blue and fire red gloves.

Zane and Kai.

Then their faces appeared in his vision.

Worried.

How he hated the look of worry in anyones face, when they were facing HIM.

"That was hard blow you took there buddy", Kai mumbled.

"I don't think you are fine"

"I'..m fi..ne", Cole said again, fighting to stay awake.

Lloyd helping Zane to wipe off most of the blood wasn't helpful.

The bloody tissues...

Seriously, a ninja who can't stand the look of blood, especially his own?!

Damn..

"Zane, can you give as an analysis?", Jay asked, with the same worried tone as before.

Can someone tell him to knock that off?

"Any moment now. I need a better look at his injuries, and all the blood will only falsify my analysis"

Ugh... come on!

"Hey, buddy. Stay with us!", Kai softly patted his cheek and Cole focused on him.

Damn, Kai was so handsome... okay, Cole shut up.

He also got a few scratches from the fight, as well as Jay.

Cole didn't dare to inspect Zane and Lloyd, since they were still busy... doing...

Okay... breathe, Cole. Breathe.

"That's good, buddy. Deep breaths", Jay encouraged him, finally trying to ban the worry from his voice.

Maybe he noticed that it wasn't quite helpful.

"Nya will be there any second now with the bounty"

Oh yeah, Nya. He had almost forgotten about her in all this chaos.

So they sent her ahead to get the bounty.

That was good. So maybe now, he can relax a bit and...

"Lots of scratches, some even worryingly deep, they maybe need stitches. His left knee will suffer a severe hematoma but other than a few minor scratches, no internal injuries. His left ankle, however... I think the ligament is damaged, maybe even torn. In any case, take it easy for the next few days, but if it is really torn, it will have to be splinted and maybe even operated on. In any case, it would be better if a doctor had a look at it. We should take you to the hospital-"

That was when Cole rudely interrupted Zane by vomiting.

"Oh, and I think he has a concussion. Grade 1"

Thanks Zane...

The vomit, mixed with his blood was an awful sight, but Cole had no time being ashamed about it.

He was to busy having a damn panic attack.

"No"

It's just medicine

"What no?", Lloyd asked.

"No, no. No doctor, no hospital. No nothing. No. Nada", his voice was firm now, and Cole already felt better.

(Sike, but that was what he told himself. He was better, so he didn't need a doctor. End of discussion)

His friends exchanged looks of worry.

This damn worry.

To the sound of the arriving bounty's engine's he tried getting up.

And failed gracefully.

Only Kai and Lloyd saved him from hitting the ground again.

They helped him to an standing position, and Cole tried his best to stand upright, but he was very aware, that everyone saw, how he didn't put any weight on his left leg.

Once the bounty had landed, the Real adventure began:

Trying to get Cole ON it.

It would've been easier, if he would have just admitted of needing help.

But he pushed their hands and helping arms away and tried to make it on his own.

With every step a hiss escaped his lips and after 3 steps he was sweating and ready to pass out again.

Without giving him much of a choice, Kai lifted him up.

He WAS beautiful, and that was when it really hit Cole, what poor look he must be giving.

Covered in blood and vomit... oh my god.

"Kai, you will get your clothes dirty with MY vomit", he struggled to get out the words, his heart was pounding.

Could this get any worse?

"Shut up, Hence", Kai interrupted him sharply. "You are injured. And if it wasn't for you, I would've been the injured one, and you wouldn't care either. So, shut up", his voice was firm, but full of love for his stupid teammate.

Slowly, Cole tried to piece it all together.

But failed.

Until now, he hadn't even noticed that he couldn't remember the battle at all, except the fall from the roof of a three-storey building.

He must have looked very puzzled, so Kai explained:

"This thug had already pushed me to the edge when you came to help. But then his colleague came from behind... I should've checked on you right away, but then Lloyd was in trouble and... I'm sorry", Kai's eyes sparkled with tears.

"It's my fault"

"No, now you shut up, Smith", Cole whispered.

They arrived at the bounty and only when the others caught up to them, Cole noticed that he was carressing his face the whole time, thinking about how perfect it was.

He dropped his hands and would blame it on the concussion later.

Finally, and after Zane had briefed Nya, they brought him on the bounty and lifted him in a chair.

Zane promised to tend his wounds later, since the first aid supplies in the bounty have not yet been replenished after their last mission.

Cole only nodded and yawned.

On the short flight to the monastery he had fallen asleep.

Kai lifting him up again woke him up.

He looked around, puzzled.

"We are home body, let's get you stitched up"

Kai noticed how Cole tensed up and started digging his nails into his shoulders.

Lloyd, who was walking next to Kai noticed too.

Inside the monastery, they immeaditaly brought him into the infirmary and sat him on the bench.

Cole gasped for air, as Zane was beginning to cut his Gi open.

The ice master misunderstood his expression.

"I'm sorry. I can't get it off otherwise, with all the blood it is sticking to your skin. We'll get you a new one and..."

"No. I mean, is this really necessary? Like...", he gestured at his friends, watching them.

They were at an lake a couple of times together, were in their hottub (which is not a hottub) and other than that had seen each others body before.

However, this felt more intense.

Cole began feeling really uncomfortable, having his upper body and legs exposed.

Luckily Zane had stopped at his underwear, even though it was also covered in blood.

He would definitley need a shower later.

Or two, or three.

Cole sighed, but as Zane then put some alcohol on a pad he stopped him again.

"I can do this myself!", he said and took the pad from Zane.

Then he bent down to his hip and saw the blood.

Because of all the movement the wound had started bleeding again.

Cole almost fell over and Jay reached forward to support his head and prevent him from falling forward off the bench.

"Seriously, buddy. Let us do it, or we'll bring you to a doctor"

Cole visibly flinched and (if even possible) got even paler.

It's just medicine

"N-no"

Lloyd sighed and put the disinfectant a little to hard on the desk next to him.

"Seriosly, Cole. What is it? Why won't you see a doc-"

"I said no doctor, so no doctor-"

"What if your ligament is torn?"

White walls, white beds with white sheets. Sterile. Everything. Is. Sterile. So fucking... Sterile.

"No doctor"

Doctors and nurses running around, always busy, always stressing.

"And if your wounds get infected?"

The monotone beeping of computers and machines.

Until they stop beeping...

Cole shook his head, pain shooting through it again.

"End of discussion, agh", he hissed as Zane began disinfecting his wounds.

Jay and Lloyd began helping him, only Kai stood still, eyeing Cole carefully.

They put bandages and band-aids on him and tried stabilizing his ankle with an extra thick layer of bandage.

In the meantime Cole had cleaned up his face.

The veins under his eyes stood out and were throbbing, his hair was a mess and he was very very pale.

"Good we are done", Zane finally said and with a look at Cole's face he added: "I recommend a hot shower and some pain killers for your head"

Cole looked at him, eyes widened in shock. Time standing still, his heart racing.

Pain killers...

Images flashed his head.

Dancing classes after dancing classes.

Dance dance dance. Always dancing.

Always...

You could still be, what you want to
What you said you were, when I met you

"No"

...hurting.

You've got a warm heart
You've got a beautiful brain

"No, no, NO!", Cole didn't even notice that he had started screaming as the images got a hold on him, tied him down, knocked him out off reality and locked him away from his friends.

But it's disintegrating

"Hey, it''s okay, shhhh, Cole shhh", that was Kai trying to soothe him, but Cole couldn't stop trembling, which basically didn't help his throbbing head.

From all the medicine (ooh)

"No, it's fucking not... It's... I...", was someone putting water on him? Oh... no. Cole had started crying...

Dang it. But for some reason it helped calming him. The trickle of water, down his cheeks pushed him back into the present.

Back to the bench, in the infirmary, he was sitting on.

Back to his friends, which he didn't dare to look at.

"I h-hate this"

"What?"

"THIS", he gestured at his whole body.

"Being injured?"

Cole only nodded.

From all the medicine (ooh-ooh)
From all the medicine (ah-ah-ahh)

"Of course, I mean... who likes being injured", Jay carefully asked and looked at his fellow ninja's, who only gave him the death stare.

"There is seemingly something else troubling you, brother", Zane said.

"Yeah, come on, Buddy", the green ninja tried to encourage him, Cole only shook his head.

Medicine

"No, just... d-don't force me to go to a doctor or the...h-hospital. And no medicine!", his voice was hollow and dull again, his eyes glassy, staring into space.

At least the pictures in his head had stopped from spinning around (even though his HEAD was still spinning), and his heart pace was slowing down.

His breath wasn't caught anymore and his hands stopped shaking.

Now, he only felt tired again.

"Zane just commended pain-killers. Cole, you fell from a 3-storey building", Nya sounded like a mother as she entered the infirmary - a package of all to well known pain-killers in her hand.

"And I got them for you", she unnecessarily added.

Cole's breath got caught, his heart started racing, his thoughts were creating a mess in his hea- there was a hand on his shoulder, soft but firm.

When he looked up, it was Kai.

"If Cole refuses to take those and doesn't want to see a doctor, we have to agree to it. He is a grown-man. Not a...."

Not a little kid anymore...
_______________________________________
12 years ago...

Everything hurt.

From his neck, to his shoulders, down his spine and the worst part were his knees, his calves and his ankles.

It's been a couple of days since mom was taken to the hospital after randomly vomiting blood in the middle of the night.

Since then, Lou has been stricter than usual in the dance classes he teaches.

Well, Cole can understand that, right? It was only a couple of weeks until the performance, where he had to successfully dance the 'Triple-Tiger-Sashay' and right now it didn't look so successfully to Cole.

So he trained everyday.

He just hoped mom was there to see him.
---------------------------------------------------------
Cole felt torn - so he was glad his mother couldn't attend the performance, since it ended in an total disaster and Cole disappointed his group by, of course, failing the dance move and hurting his ankles even more.

But otherwise, she COULDN'T attend tge performance.

She was still in the hopsital.

Cole had decided to visit her more often.

Lou forbid it and it was a long way from his school to the hospital, she was in, but he did it.

He secretely visited her more often than Dad had allowed and he got in trouble for it.

Lou wasn't happy with the way Cole ignored his instructions and then figured his son wasn't busy enough.

So more dance lessons. Yippie.
_______________________________________
Everything hurt.

It's been two years and mom was still sick.

Cole was sick too.

Sick of spending sunny afternoons and two of his birthdays in hospitals.

Not that he didn't want to be with his mommy.

But he wanted mommy to be with him.

He couldn't bear it anymore - The white walls, white beds with white sheets. Sterile. Everything. Is. Sterile. So f-ing sterile (daddy didn't want him to cuss).

Doctors and nurses running around, always busy, always stressing.

The monotone beeping of computers and machines.

And mom was always laying in bed. Same position, same everything.

Never better.

Always worse.

A couple of weeks, Lou said. In a couple of week, Lily will be back home.

So Cole was happy. Happy to never enter a hopsital again, to never so mom laying sick in one again.

Never, Ever.

Mom will be back home in a couple of weeks.

And for that - he could take a little waiting.
_______________________________________
He couldn't take it anymore, and everything hurt.

His head, his neck, his shoulders, his spine, his knees, his calves and his ankles.

The worst pain? His chest.

Mom was gone. Gone, in a sterile white room with beeping monitors, she was in for three years, every second, minute, hour, every DAY. Only difference? The monitors stopped beeping eventually, but when that happened, mommy must have been gone already.

And everything hurt.
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Someone was coming, but Cole didn't hear it, since everything hurt.

In twoo weeks he will attend his first day at the 'marty-oppenheimer school of perfomring arts' and if Lou could help it - his son will be in top form.

It was almost a year, since Lily died and everything still hurt.

But if Cole was honest - the pain in his chest - his heart - was more bearable than the one in his ankles.

Everything hurt - NO. That was not correct.

DANCING hurt.

It hurt. It was too much.

Too many hours a day, too many days a week.

Cole was exhausted.

But his dad wanted more.

And so he gave it.

He swallowed the last pill of pain-killers and threw the package in the nearby bin, stuffed it under the other garbage.

He will need more soon, but right now, he just enjoys as the pain slowly eases.

He can get more after dancing class.

He can always get more after dancing class.

"Cole?"

It was Lou, bursting in. Cole flinched in the changing room he was sitting in and eyed the bin.

No, he had closed the lid.

Lou wouldn't notice.

"I'm coming", he said and jumped up, relieved as he could put his full weight on his legs.

Right now - nothing hurt.

And that wouldn't change for the next three hours.

Until Cole needs more.
_______________________________________
Back in the present

You could still be what you want to be
What you said you were when you met me

Cole blinked and the package in Nya's hand had vanished.

Instead she was standing in front of him, tears in her eyes.

Lloyd and Zane were standing next to her, not less in shock.

Kai and Jay were sitting on both his sides, each one hand around his shoulders.

Kai was rocking him back and forth and only now Cole noticed that he was pressing his face on his chest.

Crying uncontrollably - almost hysteric.

"I'm sorry, Cole", Nya mumbled again and again and again, until Lloyd put an arm around her and led her outside.

Jay's eyes followed them, but he decided that right now, Cole needed him more. And Nya knew that.

The black ninja however had no idea what just happened.

He only was able to piece it together like this - The sight of the package of pain-killers in Nya's hands must have triggered some sort of panic attack with flashbacks.

Cole must have broken down crying immeadiatly and then he couldn't even remember his friends reactions and how he ended up in Kai's chest (which he REALLY couldn't complain about)

He also only figured that, because Zane said: "He's back with us"

Which caused Lloyd and Nya to walk back in, and Nya hugging him.

"Cole, please I am so so sorry", she mumbled in the crooked of his neck and Cole only nodded.

He wasn't able to do more right now, he was just SO tired.

Nya pulled away and gave him a smakk smile which Cole finally managed to give back.

Who knew that crying over trauma really helped?

He felt a little bit better, even his wounds weren't aching that bad anymore.

A bed would have been awesome still.

"Cole, you alright?", Kai asked.

"Yeah. Sorry and... uh.. thanks", he answered shyly.

"Always", Kai beamed at him and so Cole placed his head back on his shoulder.

Not the worst place to fall asleep on...

"Do you know what caused the panic attack? Do your wounds hurt that bad?", Jay asked and that was the moment, the black ninja knew, before he could fall into the relieve of sleep, he was owing them some explanations.

If only he wasn't that big of an idiot when it came to talking about his feelings.

"I, uhh.... I am...", he shook his head and sat up straight again.

Only then he noticed how he was still sitting there IN ONLY HIS UNDERWEAR.

"I would really want to take a shower now...", he mumbled.

So they helped Cole into the bathroom.

Zane even offered his help, but Cole tried to be as nice and polite as possibly, while explaining why a twenty year old would not enjoy some help to shower.

Zane explained that with the bandages it was impossible to shower anyway and about 20 minutes of discussion later, Cole got his back scrubbed by Zane.

Zane, who had promised not to look at certain places, but Cole had never been more embarrassed.

Again a good 20 minutes later, he was in fresh PJ's and on his way to his bedroom - where the ninja were waiting.

Right, explanations.

By the fact, that his ankle was not throbbing anymore, not more swollen or anything, Cole figured it was not too damaged only insulted by the fall, which Cole couldn't blame it for.

His scratches didn't even need stitches and so it was safe for Cole to say:

"I hate hopsitals, and doctors and nurses and white halls, with white walls, sterile white beds and MEDICINE", he was getting a little bit loud at the end and fell exhausted on his bed.

"I hate that, I will never not hate that, and I will never take this shit or visit a hospital again", and noooowww.... he was tearing up again.

He swallowed hard, thankful for the water Kai handed him.

He drank it all in one gulp.

"W-Why?", damn Jay's worried tone.

Who allowed him to sound that worried again?!

But the others didn't look any better.

So the master of earth sighed.

"My mom spent most my childhood in there. I... spent my birthday's in there, spent my summers in there, I... Had no friends because I spent my childhood in hopsitals, watching her getting one medicine after the other, but never watched her getting better. Never. She died in there. Inbetween white halls, white walls, and... and... And I don't wanna do the same"

Again a hand on his shoulder, again Kai.

Cole's heart warmed up a bit and he was able to fight his tears down - until Kai said:

"It's okay Cole. It's okay to cry"

And so he did.

He cried.

His friends waiting patiently, handing him handkerchiefs and some water.

And Cole cried.

And cried.

And cried.

He cried until there were no tears left.

Only then, someone dared to speak again.

It was Jay.

"So, that is why you hate medicine, especially pain-killers?"

Cole shook his head. "No"

It took him some time to give a clear answer.

"I... I don't hate medicine, because I saw my mother take it for years, without any effect of her getting better.

I don't hate it for how it didn't work for mom, but how it DID work for ME"

His friends all looked puzzled, so Cole said:

"Everything hurt. My father pushed me to my limits with his stupid dance lessons and at one point my whole body just HURT. So I started taking pain-killers before every dancing-class.

And I mean, before EVERY class. At least two pills, and that for almost a year.

Only when I began training with Master Wu I realized, that my body wasn't suppossed to hurt like this.

Training, moving your body SHOULDN'T HURT.

And only then I realized what I did, by taking so much medicine just to ease my pain. The one in my body... and head,.... and heart"

You could still be what you want to
What you said you were when I met you

And so, Cole finally fell asleep surrounded by his friends (who were fighting with tears and the urge to beat Lou's ass), who only wished Cole would have told them before, but where glad he had at least told them at last.

Also, they learned, that fights on rooftops may lead to some traumatic afternoon activities AND that Cole had developed a thing for cuddling onto Kai's chest, snoring peacefully.

When you met me and when I met you
You, you
You, you
You, you
You, you
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The end.

i may be writing a second part, where Cole HAS to go to the hospital and throws several tantrums, but don't get ya hopes up.

Until then, I hope you liked it :)

Sommerwindxx
[And yes, yes I love traumatizing and torturing Cole]