(ty for readin, you're very much appreciated, the little star is happy happy happy to see you as am I :D this entire chapter was written within the span of a day, basically, so if it seems all over the place and a little rushed, know i was only barely conscientious when i wrote it. ty for your support nonetheless)

(EDITED)(Note to readers: Some chapters ahead may not be in line with the new edits.)

[WARNING: READER DISCRETION ADVISED:

This chapter contains sexual content that some readers may find uncomfortable. If so, please refrain from reading further. Thank you.]

I.GHOST - New Message

'Merci' sent you a message. View it here.

I.GHOST - Merci

beryllium? how brutal. wonder how that happened.

hey ghostie
i don't think i have to tell you about what to tell and what not to, right?
hey
hey ghostie
i sure hope you're not learning any bad habits over there, like honesty. you! honest!
how ironic, no?

______________________

I don't entirely know what it was about undergoing several rounds of nauseating, gut-spilling, heart-splitting honesty and up-close-and-personal, near-death experiences with someone, but whatever it was, it did something to people.

I lied atop Kane at some point in the AM of the night, not another soul awake save for us and the ghosts of the stars. I'd taken back my rightful Target discount T-shirt, leaving Kane in a thin white shirt that read MAN OF NO MATTER at its breast pocket.

Kane had an arm crooked behind his head, his other overtop my back to hold me in place. I rested my forearms on his chest, the faintest heartbeat echoing in my bones. I watched the moonlight shift and shudder on his face, lose itself in the dips of his eyelids and brows and cheekbones. He was humming again, some other verse of the same song, as wordless as the evening around us.

I said, "Are you excited for Red Diamond?"

Kane shrugged. "Sometimes."

"Other times?"

He opened his eyes to the ceiling. "I get scared."

"Scared?"

"Dunno. No matter how many times you've done something, any kind of competition can be scary. This season has already been so chaotic," he muttered.

"Sorry," I said, because it only felt right.

Kane cocked a brow. "I didn't mean you. Although, you're your own issue."

"Thanks."

Kane grinned to himself. I said, "Are you going to see your cousins?"

Kane said, "I am. Where are you going?"

"Next door."

He lifted his head with a frown. "You're not going anywhere?"

I frowned. "Where would I go?" I admitted. "I've got nothing to do or see. Besides, it's air-conditioned the whole year round in here. That's all I need."

Kane blinked. He set his head back down, his face going pensive. He said, "Maybe."

I said, "Don't think about it."

He shrugged. "Have to."

"Why?"

"Because." He wrapped his other arm around me. The weight of it was warm and solid. "I just do."

I curled my hands around the back of his neck. I leaned down. "Think about something else."

The kiss was slow and sweet like maple, the moonlight cool on his skin, all the heat reserved for the weight of his hands on my spine. I wondered, idly, what was the longest someone had ever kissed another person. I wondered after if I could break that record.

Kane swiped his thumb over my lips, opened my mouth to kiss me with a slow vigor. He said, "All right."

If Kane was the one I was kissing, I'd do it with ease.

Kane made me breakfast and said, "Echo."

I had a perfectly rolled gyeran mari right up at my mouth when he said it. But he said it in the way that entailed he was about to say something that would make me spit it right back out, so I set it down on its little bed of steaming rice and said, "What now?"

Kane and Edwards had a meeting with Avaldi's athletics board in an hour or so and was dressed for the occasion with a summer-made blazer and blue shirt, his brown jeans the same color as the coffee in his cup. His hair had grown out beyond repair, wisps of ink around his ears and over his eyes. Beyond that, he was Kane all the same. Albeit, at the moment, more stressed than anything.

Kane said, "You're free for the day so come with me to the Americana, I have to get something I promised I'd pick up for Diego."

I scoffed and plopped the gyeran mari into my mouth. "How's that my problem? I didn't promise Diego anything."

"Everyone else is gone," he said and took a swig of his coffee. "We'll go after."

"How come you're assuming I'm not busy?"

Kane cocked a brow. "Are you busy?"

"I could be."

Kane chugged down the last of his coffee and grabbed his keys. "I'll meet you here at noon."

I shook my head. "Being ordered around everywhere, what am I, the errand boy? Is this part of your screwy initiation, because if it is, I'd like to think I've taught myself enough lessons via my own stupid volition over—"

A hand tilted my head back by my chin so far I would have fallen over had there not been a body there against me to keep me upright. Kane held me still, and planted a tentative kiss on my lips.

"See you at noon," he said.

I sat gaping like that. I wondered if it was possible for me to lose my mind right out of my open mouth.

As Kane went, he called, "Stop doing that, you'll hurt your neck."

The door shut behind him. I straightened myself.

I took a mouthful of rice and said to no one in particular, "I need a goddamn MRI."

It took the next hour for the heat to leave my face.

Some things were immovable about Kane. That I came to know firsthand.

Diego's promised jacket was draped in my hand, Kane's umbrella shielding us from the unhappy sun causing havoc on LA. Despite that, the Glendale mall was bustling and hustling with people of all ages and all budgets, some boasting more bags than I figured there were stores, others content to carry their purchase of the day proudly swinging from their arms in time with slack flip flops or golden sandals. I'd foolishly asked him if there was anything he wanted.

"We can take a look," he said.

We ventured into various stores, the racks showing off the latest and past-due trends of the time, the prices dipping and rising like mountains and valleys. I felt dizzy with all the colors and patterns.

I lifted a jacket's sleeve to examine its blue patchwork. A little rose danced on its collar, smiling. Kane said, "That's nice."

"It is," I admitted.

"Do you want it?"

"Save your money," I ordered, and walked away.

Kane left the store with a bag. I said, "What'd you get?"

Kane said, "Nothing. Do you want to look in there next?"

Seven stores later, I said, "What do you want for lunch?"

Kane said, "Anything works."

"Ice cream?"

"That's not lunch," he scoffed, but headed for the kiosk.

I'd turned my head a half-second to my pockets for some cash when I heard the distinct ring of a swiped card. I swiveled my head back. Kane returned the credit card to his wallet.

"You play me," I snapped. "I could've paid. Did you even get anything?"

"We ate at the meeting." Kane turned around. "I'll have some of yours."

"Let me pay you back."

Kane considered me. Then, leaned down, and bit my goddamn nose.

I shrieked. Several strangers nearby whipped their heads to us in alarm at the sound, and only one younger girl who had seen the entire crime occur had the damn audacity to throw her head back with a raucous laugh. I held onto my nose and gaped up at Kane, who was busy walking away with a snicker. That bastard.

"Are you out of your mind?" I yelled, chasing after him. "You're out of your mind. You bit my nose."

Kane swiped a bit of the ice cream from the top of my cone and licked it from his finger. "Not bad," he said, then, "I just wanted to see your reaction."

"You fucking bastard. Come here."

Kane turned a corner. His face was a full moon of nighttime sunlight.

I found Kane lying on his stomach, his arm lying out on the floor, no shirt on his back and no lights turned on. The night lied across him, spread-eagle, as tired as him.

The hour was just near dinnertime, and Corvus had opted to go out for the night for burgers. I was sent to retrieve the captain. I had half a mind not to.

I said, "I hope you've vacuumed this floor."

Kane didn't speak. I crept closer and crouched down beside him. Fresh patches covered his shoulder. From up close, I saw the distinct scar breathing black and silver out from his side, the shadow of a nameless blade.

We remained like that for a few more moments before Kane finally said in a shaky voice, "Get Ramos." He paused. "Don't tell Corvus."

I got up. I got Ramos. I didn't tell Corvus.

Ramos knelt by Kane on the floor. She reached over and pressed two fingers into the space between his deltoid and trapezius. Kane jerked, then groaned.

"Does it burn or ache?" she asked.

"Both," he gritted.

Ramos lifted his arm, but Kane shook his head, nails digging into the carpet. She pursed her lips. She said, "Can you get up?"

"I'd rather not," he admitted.

Ramos just nodded. "I've got some medicine that will help. I'm gonna replace these with something stronger," she said, tapping his patches lightly.

I sat outside the room, waiting in silence. I'd warded Corvus off with a lie over Kane being asleep and me receiving a call from a relative. But it left me alone with no one but Ramos to ask.

When she emerged again, I said, "What's wrong?"

Ramos pursed her lips. "Because of the poisoning, that part of his body isn't correctly. His body is getting more desperate. The trauma from racing is tearing at the muscles and tissues. Racing injuries are typically negligible in lycans, especially Alphas, but without proper healing, his shoulder might be permanently damaged."

I clenched my fists. "Permanently?"

Ramos's eyes were infinitely sad. She took my hand. "The best we can do is try and mitigate the strain. I'll talk to Coach about his racing. Just keep an eye on him."

I said, "Okay."

When Ramos had gone, I went inside where Kane was still on the floor. His shoulder had been wrapped with a thicker, tape-like binding and lidocaine patches were over his neck and spine. He turned his head to me at my approach. When he did, I saw a perfect, royal violet in his eyes, a flood of jacaranda purple.

I sat down on his other side. I said, "You okay?"

Kane said, "It's all right." He frowned at me. "The dinner?"

I shook my head. "It's all right." I raised a brow at his shoulder. "You're a liar."

Kane closed his eyes. "It was just today."

"The 607—"

"Don't." Kane shook his head. "Please."

I sighed. I lied down on the rough carpet, facing him eye-to-eye. He opened his eyes to look over my face. Gold to purple, dawn and dusk. The strain in his neck, the tightness in his jaw. I wondered how much it hurt to die by your own hand.

I said, "You're going back to Korea soon, right?" Kane hesitated, then nodded. I said, "Tell me about it."

Kane stared at me for a long beat. He propped his chin on his forearm. The stars slept to the sound of his voice.

"I lived with my aunt for the most part, with my cousins, near the beach at their house there. It's away from the city, so you could go days with just the beach and you and nobody would be the wiser. It's different from here. It's a lot different. In the summer, it gets hot enough that you don't want to leave the water..."

I sat on the countertop of the bathroom. Morning baked us to a crisp. Kane held an apple in his hand, half-eaten, his eyes harrowed with the year. He tossed it to me. I caught it and took a bite. 

"There's a new coffee shop on Wilshire," Kane said. "Let's try it."

I took another bite. "You've got a very demanding way of inviting people places."

Kane sighed. "Do you want to try it?"

"Well, not anymore."

Kane placed himself between my legs. He tugged me to him by my waist. I wondered if this is how people lived forever. I held the apple between our bodies.

"Let's try it," he said. "It's got a goguma latte."

I scoffed. "That's a low blow to get me to hang out with you." I wrapped my arm around his neck. "Don't be so desperate, man."

Kane kissed the apple crisp from my lips. I nearly dropped the fruit in my attempt to swipe my tongue across his teeth and push my thumb into his jaw. He said in between kisses, "Whatever gets you to come with."

I shook my head. "Jinjja," I muttered. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

I kissed him harder. "I'll go if you let me pay."

Kane mouthed at my neck, ran his hand up towards my chest. He said, "I'm not that desperate."

I set the apple down, and let the sweetness drip down from my lips.

We did eventually get the latte. Albeit late.

I'd never wanted summer more.

Nia called me for the first time since the end of the school year. A video call, furthermore.

"You little shit," she started with. "I watched the match. The one between you and the Rebels."

I was lying on Kane's bed, the sheets thrown over me, Kane busy elsewhere in the apartment for sake of "productivity". Nia had never seen my room, so I had that going for me, although I supposed the trophies and photos containing not me was enough to give away my location. But her words were more than enough to override all that paranoia.

"You...did?" I said.

"Oh, like hell I did," she snapped, her bangs wild around her face as she caught her breath from running somewhere within the university's campus. She stopped and pointed a finger at the camera. "You are out of your mind. You are out of whatever that foul excuse of a mind is in your head."

Her venom didn't feel funny, but desperate. Guilt struck me in the gut. I winced. "I'm sorry," I said earnestly. "I just didn't want you to worry."

Nia softened suddenly. She pinched the space between her brows and took in a deep breath. "No, Echo, that's not—of all the times for you to be serious." She shook her head, then frowned. "I got so scared, you know. Really, I should've called earlier, if anything."

I sat up and pulled Kane's shirt tighter over me to avoid flashing my bared, bruised torso at her. I said, "No, it's my fault. Not like I call you."

She considered that. Nia said, "I know something happened on that track. With Baluyot. I don't know what, but, something did happen, right?"

I pursed my lips. "Nothing happened," I lied. "It was a bad injury, that's all."

"Echo. If something—"

"I'm all right, Nia. Nothing happened."

"Please don't lie," she tried. "Not this time, Yun."

I pushed my lips together. I shook my head. "It's okay, Nia," was all I could tell her. "I'm okay."

Nia considered me for a long, long moment. She didn't seem satisfied, but she seemed aware I wasn't going to say anything more about it. She gestured weakly at me with a bite that didn't hold. "Well, at least you're still winning, talk about miracles. You've kept up their streak."

I scoffed. "Not my streak."

"Shut up, I thought you were over that bullshit. Get a new schtick. You're part of it," she said. "So, how's it? Being part of it." The victory. The money. The racing.

I considered that, then said, "It's damn awesome."

Her laugh took a world's worth of weight from my chest, and my lungs eased with new air. "Oh? Last time I talked to you, you looked ready to keel over just by the mention!" she laughed. "So, tell me about it."

I shook my head. "Why don't you?" I said. "It's been a while."

I glanced up. Kane stood in the doorway, his umbrella hanging from his wrist. I opened my mouth to explain, but he just smiled, and mouthed be back soon.

I wondered if I was bold enough to live forever.

And, so on.

But before we go there.

____________________

Arizona's very own University of Arizona's Wildcats were our final obstacle standing between us and Red Diamond. Although Avaldi was a technically prestigious private school in comparison to University of Arizona, their square racing teams were not even four rank placements apart in the division. Therefore, nothing but three rank numbers and a seven hour car ride in 100 degrees Fahrenheit heat sat between Corvus and the Wildcats in the final Green face-down of the mountainous climb to the greatly coveted Red Diamond of the Diamond Prix Championships.

But back to the car ride.

"I'll never make it," Diego sobbed from the back. "I have to sit with Rosie."

"That feeling is mutual," she snapped. "Can someone please turn the AC on?"

"It's on full blast," Coach said.

"I'll never make it," Rosalie groaned.

Coach glanced in the rear view mirror. "No one's passed out?"

"Yet," we chorused.

"Good enough for me."

Kane had cleverly brought along a handful of hand-held fans for us to quell the unbearable weight of the sun's blistering heat with. However, it could only do so much to ease the stickiness and onslaught of burning embers rising from the ground and through the windows. The lycan-ness of it all didn't help.

"Why couldn't we have been born sirens?" Zoe groaned, fanning herself with a pamphlet in one hand and flicking water on herself from her bottle with the other. "Slick and sweat-less."

"I'd rather be a damn bloodsucker," Wynter scowled. "It'd be illegal to take us out in this sun then."

"I told you all we could've made the midnight trip instead."

"No way," Diego said, shaking his head. "I can't have the press snapping my eye bags in HD resolution for when we win this match. Beauty sleep, Coach."

"I lose years of my life when you speak," Kenzo said, holding his fan right over his face as he closed his eyes.

Meredith leaned over the seat to glance down at me. "I heard Omegas aren't sensitive to heat, but the cold. Is that true?"

We had yet to discuss my newly-revealed Omega status since I'd recovered, a sort of elephant in the room that I, least of all, was about to go chatting over. I waited for Corvus to sneer or go silent, maybe chatter amongst themselves and bear the heat with clenched teeth just to ignore me at that tender reminder.

But Zahir said, "I heard that, too. Is it? I'd trade that for heat sensitivity any day, to be honest." 

I blinked. "Uh," I said. "Not really. Omegas are similar to human temperature sensitivity."

"Are all Omegas allergic to grapefruit?" Diego asked. "I heard that somewhere, too. I heard you get pink teeth."

I said, "Why don't you guys ask Ramos this?"

"Ah, Jasmin is too cool to ask stupid questions to," Diego said, waving me off. "Too sweet, you know?"

"What's that mean about me?"

"Go on, cobayo, show me that smile. Let me see tus dientes."

I waved him off and Corvus laughed. My shoulders eased at that. Wynter tapped Kane on the head. "Hey, participate in making fun of Echo. I heard Omegas tend to be left-handed. Let me see you write something."

Kane had taken the easy way out by pretending to be asleep for the entirety of the ride, either in an effort to ignore the heat as best as he could, or ignore everyone talking about it. He seemed content to play that game for a little longer too, but Wynter was adamant and began blowing air into his face.

He cracked open one eye with a wicked sneer in her direction. Wynter said, "Participate."

Kane said, "I'll donate you to a homeless man for a quick dinner."

Wynter took in a deep breath and sank back down. "Or don't."

"Violent charity is still charity," I tried. 

"Are you small because you're an Omega or are you small because you got shafted in the gene pool?" Rosalie asked.

"Small Omegas are a stereotype I don't condone and frankly, getting shafted in the height department would be generous if you're pulling from my gene pool," I muttered. 

"Which one of your parents has an attitude the size of a Catholic cathedral?" she said.

"Which one of your parents has the Great Lake capacity for being an asshole?" I retorted.

"Which one of your parents has hair the color of a bad LSD trip?"

"Which one of your parents is acquired the generational art of being a menace to local societies?"

"Which one of your parents is the size of gumdrop?"

"Which one of my fists is the perfect size to shove down your—"

Kane wrapped an arm over my mouth. "You're done," he snapped. "And where the hell is everyone's seatbelts?"

"We're so jam-packed in the back I'm pretty sure a car crash would, at most, loosen an arm," Diego assured.

"King, are you awake?"

"Thanks a lot," he snapped at me.

I pried his arm free from my mouth and called, "Yes. If he's awake, can I not be? It's a bit painful."

Rosalie cracked her knuckles. "I've got a solution for you."

"I take back everything."

"Good, then you're all paying attention," Coach called. "Let's talk game. Relay it."

Kane righted himself, although his brow hadn't lost its fixedness. "We're up against the Wildcats. Ten-person team, no freshmen, no rookies, no Betas, no Class IIs or IIIs. Their captain is their starboard tail, Class I Huang Alpha from Rhode Island, fourth year. They've got four subs for front port, front starboard, centerback, port tail. Average height is about sixty inches. Average weight is 140 pounds. Their defense is good, but their offense is vicious. It's gonna be a point-combo-reliant match."

"See? Same old same old," Diego assured. "We've got it in the bag."

"I'll bet you fifty right here, right now, something is gonna go wrong," Rosalie muttered.

Zoe said, "Is something going to go wrong?"

Unsurprisingly, everyone looked to Kane. He didn't hesitate. Maybe for our sake.

"No. We've done this a hundred times before by now. It's just another match to get through," he said. "We just have to get through this last match."

I couldn't have agreed more.

It was damn fucking, blazing, burning, scorching, broiling hot in Tucson. That's about as eloquent as you can get when the temperatures are that high.

It was nearly twelve by the time we pulled around into a wide-faced Silver Stop, nothing but the fiery concrete and unbearable stagnant air there to greet us alongside a mournful attendant with three fans going on her just for some fleeting coolness. The inside of the station had reached its maximum limit of capable air conditioning, resulting in a windstorm swirling inside of the small building, kicking up dust and dirt and sweat and melting Skittles. It smelled of gasoline and sugar, old hot dogs and pretzels.

I found Kane by the energy drinks. He tapped his rings against the door, ran them over the handles until he found the one he wanted. He plucked a Bang from the shelf, a gust of cold air blowing over us. I stood behind his shoulder.

Kane paused. He turned around to face me, then raised a brow. "Don't sneak," he said.

I paused. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to."

He pulled me to his side and out of his peripheral by my sleeve. He handed me a Coke. I said, "Don't assume."

Kane put it back and gestured for me to choose. I snagged the Coke. Kane said, "Why are you the way that you are?"

I leaned on his side. "Where was Red last year?"

Kane considered me. Then, wound an arm over my shoulders, turning us around and brushing his fingers against the aisle racks until he stopped at the candy one. "New York City. We went up against the Ducks, actually."

I gaped. "You what."

Kane shook his head. "We knocked them out in Green though. Unless they win a wildcard match, we won't see them in Red." He grabbed a bag of gummy bears and said in hushed Korean, "Are you excited?"

I frowned. "For what?"

"Red." He grabbed a bag of dried fruit and nuts. We headed for the register. "It's your guys' first."

I shook my head. "You all are too cocky."

"Optimistic," he corrected. "So, are you?"

It was an understatement to say "excited". I said, "Hopeful, maybe."

Kane's smile was small, but there. He took our food and drinks to place on the counter.  Kane handed the lady his card. He said, "Have you ever been to Arizona?"

I shook my head. "Why?"

Kane ushered us out into the blazing night. Coach waved us over and gestured at the car. "Let's go, you all can snack at your rooms when we check in."

"Please don't say 'at the motel'," Rosalie muttered.

"At the hotel," Coach said, and sent a wave of relief over the team. "Get in, we all need some good rest for tomorrow."

We clambered into the van. Kane said, "Did you want to see it?"

"Arizona?" I asked, and he nodded. I narrowed my eyes. "What's the game plan?"

He shut the door. "Depends on what you say." Kane handed me the candy. "Do you want to see it?"

I glanced between my hands and his, the night sky and his eyes. I thought of the red dripping from my fingers, turning silver by the minute.

I said, "Yes."

The Greenheart Garden Hotel was really nothing to look at, let me tell you, but Tucson, Arizona could only do so much for those passing through and frankly, I was sure Greenheart Garden was as good as they could do.

Coach said, "Divy yourselves up, go wild or don't,  I don't care, as long as you're ready to head to the track by six. Got it?" We nodded, getting it. "Good. Go on."

She spun around and headed for her room. We all faced each other. Everyone chorused, "Not Diego."

Diego gasped. "This is not a gang-up."

Kane held up his hands. "We'll do the same arrangement as we did last time. Everyone remember who you roomed with?" They nodded. Zahir sighed. Diego gaped at him. "Good. Go, get some rest to get through tomorrow."

"But there's only one bed in each room," Zahir said. "I can't have a press conference with forest animals all over again."

"How's that my problem?" Kane said, and waved us off. "Go."

Diego shook his head at Zahir. "We're gonna have some words, man."

We took the room farthest down the hall. The innards were simplistic, the bare minimum of decor used with one extra throw pillow on the bed and a single painting of synchronized swimmers on the wall. Kane set his bag down on an armchair situated by a square window. Moonlight and city light filtered in through spotty glass, frayed on white bedsheets. I set my duffel down next to it.

Kane sat down on the edge of the bed. I sat beside him. He watched the window. I said, "So, what's in Tucson anyway? For you, that is."

He considered that. "I came here with Poppy during my first Red Diamond. She said she always thought it was a shame to travel so many places but never really see them. She probably thought I needed to get out more, and so any city we went to overnight, we'd go out somewhere just to see it."

I smiled. It was a sweet illusion, a salve to a wound, to talk about the liveliness of someone who was gone. Like by only remembering them alive, you could keep them that way.

I said, "What'd you see?"

Kane hummed. He slid his hand over my wrist and into my palm, slotting our fingers together like the teeth of two gears.

"Come on," he said.

The Botanical Gardens of Tucson, Arizona closed at 3:30 PM. But with any garden, there was always a back brush even the greatest landscapers couldn't gate off.

"That's a cactus," I said, pointing at the tall, beastly, prickly thing standing between us, the broken gate, and the gardens. "That's definitely a sign to not enter."

"I really never thought I'd be the one trying to convince you to break a rule," Kane muttered. He slid under the cactus's arm and grasped the railing to slide under in one fell swoop. "Come on. Before someone spots us."

"I really never thought Kane King would be convincing anyone to break anything," I returned as I attempted to mimic his movements. "And yet."

He helped to haul me to my feet in the garden's corner. The lights were still alive, shedding pathways of white over the sand and grass. Flowers flickered on stems, cupped by green leaves, the cacti curling towards the skies with nails out. Vines hung from scaffolding, spindly things trying to catch innocent strangers with their claws.

"Come on," he said, heading down a path towards a red brick ring.

I headed after him. "So, your captain also helped you break into a garden, I take?"

Kane shrugged. The August moonlight made him infinitely blue. "She called it a self-guided tour," he said. "It's been around since the 60s. From a horticulturist."

I pushed a branch out of my face. We stopped at the brick ring and stared up at a copper statue of a stallion. I glanced at him and said, "If you had never done racing, what do you think you would have done?"

Kane looked a bit stricken by the question. A thin, warm breeze flooded through the garden, sweeping black hair over Kane's eyes. For a dangerous moment, I had half a mind to brush it away with my hand.

He turned back to the statue. "I don't know," he admitted. "Racing has always been my life. I don't really know anything else."

I thought there was something both infinitely successful and sad about that. Racing, for as cruel as it was, was so unbelievably beloved that it almost scared me. An unyielding god, a religion of greed at its feet. Always wanted, never wanting. And every racer was a fool for falling for it. Blood and scars and all. But it was damn brave to love something more than you knew it would ever love you back.

I looked at Kane, and figured maybe that was the only difference between a good racer and a great one.

"Do you ever wish you had something else?" I said.

Kane went quiet for a long moment. "No." He held my gaze. "Never." 

The black threads on his neck, the silver air from his skin. I wondered if he meant that.

Kane said, "If you have the chance to really start on a blank slate, would you start as a racer?"

I blinked. "What?"

"If you had a do-over," he said. "If you could be someone without everything that's happened in your past. Would you still choose racing?"

I found myself where Kane stood, looking around me, about the sky, searching for some other door that wasn't racing, for some other something that made the world worth the fight. I saw my mother grow and fade, my brother fall away, Mercy turn her head. I saw Corvus somewhere in my peripheral, a distant fixture. Unyielding. Opaque.

"I'd choose Corvus," I admitted.

We stood in the brick ring, the statue unconcerned with us, the night a fleeing thing. Kane turned around, and started down a new path, blossoms blooming ahead.

"Me, too," he said.

We walked into the brush.

"Can I ask you something?" he said.

"How the tables turn," I murmured. "About what?"

"About your work," he said. "For your family."

"Ah, that. You don't want to know."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Don't know," I murmured. "I just...prefer you knowing me without it."

Kane blinked. He ducked under a long line of vine-filled arches, an abyss of blue shadows and pink flowers. He said, "Then...do you have any good memories? Of your family."

I hummed. "Maybe with my mother," I said. "At least when I was younger."

Kane's face softened. "Tell me about it."

We rounded a corner, where the arches dissipated to give way to a wide open avenue of cobble road and looming trees, their trunks laced with broken fairy lights and sputtering bulbs. I traced my finger along a jade-colored leaf above my head.

"She and I used to sit by the window or on the floor a lot," I said. "I think she liked having something solid near her. She married my dad young, so she grew up sort of shut in. She used to talk to me a lot just like that, with snacks or something sweet."

"Snacks?"

"Goguma," I said, and surprisingly, laughed a little at it. "Tteok. Yakgwa. Things like that."

"So you know all the snacks of Korea," Kane deduced with a lilt.

I shrugged. "Meals are overrated."

Kane nodded. "What else?"

As I spoke, I wondered if this was Kane's method of which to know about the people I'd been before, the same way I had asked him of his own memories. An eyeglass for the past, for the hearts of people we'd been rather than the mistakes.

I was all right, being acknowledged for Echo Yun, but being known for Echo.

We stopped at a fountain, a canopy of trees bowing at the babbling pool. Kane stood before it with the golden light over him. "You've never traveled, have you?"

I shook my head. "No. Unless the west counts."

"Outside of the country, I mean."

"Other than Korea, I've never been anywhere else." I crouched to peer at the pennies littering the base tiles, the quarters and dimes all wasted on fleeting wishes. "Where have you been?"

"I've gone to Japan a few times. We went to France once, when I was a lot younger. I've been to a few islands in Korea." He said, "If you could go somewhere?"

I shrugged. "Don't know."

"Really?"

"I guess I don't really have anywhere scot-free enough to go," I said. "I don't know a lot of other places." Even within the cities I'd gone to in California, I only knew them due to Mercy's jobs. I'd never gone anywhere for actual enjoyment. It left traveling with a sour taste.

"Not even Korea?"

"Too many memories," I muttered. "At least in Seoul and Incheon."

"Have you ever seen the different parts?"

I shook my head. "The different parts?"

"The countryside," he clarified. "The beach?"

"No," I admitted.

Kane nodded to himself. He turned on his heel. "Let's go see the other part."

I said, "Where would you go? If you could see anywhere else." I slid into step beside him. The air was heavy with the ghosts of August.

"Dunno," he admitted, then gave a wry smile. "Wherever the next Olympics are, maybe."

There was a sun glare on the world, red and amber with promise.

We stopped in front of a buggy car, its body blown open by a flood of chromatic foliage. Petals flew from its grill and trunk, burst out of its wheels and hood. A machine bested by the delicate blossoms.

I pointed at a flower. I said, "It's a poppy."

Kane glanced, paused, then smiled sadly. "It is."

I said, "Do you miss her?"

Kane's mirth faded, his smile cornflower blue. He said, "Yeah. Yeah, a lot." He pursed his lips. "I don't know anyone who doesn't, though."

"I heard she basically changed the game for Corvus."

"That was sort of her thing," he said. "Changing the game."

"It's yours, too."

"Not like her."

"Corvus wouldn't be here without you."

"Corvus can hold their own. She made Corvus what it was."

"Not everyone can be a captain."

"That's true."

"You're a good captain, Kane."

Kane stared at me. Then, shook his head, and smiled sadly at the lone poppy. "No," he said with a broken breath. "I just have a good team."

We stood in silence, watching the breeze sway the pretty orange flower left and right, always moving, never bowing, a diamond in the brush.

We sat on some of the stones blocking off a tree's great trunk, its leaves encasing the entire part of the garden in lavish green leaves and thick branches. The crickets were wildly alive, feverishly chirping to alert the world of the ongoing heat wave, the sound as loud as buzzing cicadas.

Kane said, "Thanks for coming with."

I looked up. I turned my body towards him, our knees touching, both bruised, both sore. "Thanks for breaking us in."

He frowned. "It wasn't breaking in."

I shrugged. "Just never thought I'd see it for myself. Kane King, breaking and entering. Into a historical garden." I made a banner motion. "And admitting it. What a night."

Kane shook his head. "You're a pain."

"You're a real ray of sunshine," I retorted.

"Ya," he snapped, pushing my hair over my face. "I'm still older than you, where's the respect?"

"Hwanan hyung," I reminded, and laughed, at his scowl. I leaned on his good side. "Thank you for taking me here, though. It's pretty."

Kane leaned his head atop mine. "Thanks for not telling anyone about the breaking and entering."

"So you admit it?"

"Don't get excited."

"Is this your rebel phase? Is this your inorganic phase?"

"I don't only eat organic food."

"Your groceries say otherwise."

"Well, you could do with some more organic food anyway. You can't really live off gummy bears alone."

"You know, you keep saying that, but where are we now? If anything, I'm healthier than you."

Kane pulled at my ear at that and I yelped. He laughed low in his throat. "Hwanan kkammagwi."

I frowned. "Kkamagwi?"

Kane took out his lighter to lower to my face. "Crow."

"You think you're funny."

"Maybe more than you are."

"Give me that lighter and we'll see who's laughing."

"Sit down, this whole damn place is flammable, what's wrong with you?"

I draped myself over Kane with my head in his lap. He fiddled with the lighter, humming once again, his eyes a new moon black.

I looked up at him and held my hand out for a cigarette. Kane cocked a brow, then gestured towards his front pocket. I said, "I'm not groping you for cigarettes."

Kane sighed. "Why do you have to say it like that?" he muttered, and withdrew the pack himself. He handed me one, lit it to a flame.

I blew a puff of smoke up in his face. He grimaced down at me. I grinned. I said, "Who's funny now?"

Kane took a drag of the cigarette and leaned down. His kiss tasted acrid and real.

He said, "Not you."

I swore the stars had burst right out of the sky, fallen into dust, scattered somewhere in my veins. The world blazed with something more vicious than summer. More saccharine than the blossoms.

I pulled him down by his collar. "That's an opinion," I acquiesced.

I kissed him to the taste of Lucky Strikes.

The return to the hotel room was prompt save for a few things.

I stood in the elevator with Kane at my side. The doors closed. He smelled of cotton and cigarettes. I knew so with him being right against me.

I saw the reflection of us in the metal. Kane leaned down pressing his lips to the nape of my neck. I held my breath. I said, "Doors could open."

"Could," he murmured. His hand rested on my hip.

I tilted my head back, his mouth coming around to hold itself over my collarbone. His hand pulled itself over my stomach, down further. I said, "Definitely could."

A ding alerted that we were indeed stopping. Kane pulled away, leaving me with a flushed face, my skin still burning. In the reflection, he smiled at me.

Dear God, I thought. Let me survive this.

We got off on our floor where the hall was vacant and eerily quiet, not even Corvus's doors letting out any ruckus. We saw the doors shut in our wake. Kane reached in his pocket to grab our keycards. 

He said, "If you need to take a shower, do it now so—"

I reached up and pulled his face towards me.

The kiss was almost enough to draw blood from my lips from where our teeth and mouths clacked together at the sheer force. Kane's hand reacted immediately to find the back of my head and tilt it back to bare my throat. I narrowly avoided crashing into a potted plant, instead planting my hand against the peeling wallpaper beside me. Kane's fingers tugged on my hair, my shirt, my waist. I wound my arms around his neck, gasping under the weight of the kiss.

Kane looked up to glance at the room number. I took the chance to kiss his neck, teeth sinking into the skin. My arm held his body down towards me and left him with no choice but to plant a hand beside my head against the wall in some effort to keep himself upright. His laugh was low, a sugary thing.

"I've got to make sure we don't go into the wrong room, you know," he muttered.

I pushed my fingers up under the hem of his shirt, brushed them over his stomach. "Well, make sure faster," I shot back.

Kane took another few seconds to verify where we were before he pushed the keycard against the door handle. He stole another kiss off my mouth before pushing us both inside the dark hotel room, the city showering the whole place in a periwinkle and pink glow. An alternate universe of heat and chromatic Hell.

Kane pushed the door closed with his foot. I held onto his good shoulder and the doorframe to kick off my shoes without tripping. His hands ran under my shirt, burning up the skin to a crisp. He kissed me as though his life depended on it, like stopping would mean to stop breathing.

He kicked off his shoes in one fell swoop, one hitting the wall with a dull thud. I said, "Shouldn't we be quiet?"

"For what?" he muttered. "Won't be for long anyway."

I closed my eyes. "Save my head, man."

I walked backwards, nearly tripping over every available leg of anything with my dizzy head, no oxygen available for me to breathe, all of it in Kane's lungs between bruising kisses. At some point, he got sick of my clumsiness and grabbed my legs to hold me up instead.

"Is this what you see?" I said, looking around at the newfound height increase. "Can you see Australia from here?"

"Echo."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

If the whole heatwave across Arizona had disappeared overnight, I swore I could find it right underneath my skin, boiling me into utter nothingness. I took a breath. I tasted flames.

Wonderfully, it tasted like nothing I'd ever had before.

I dug my nails into the skin of Kane's back, the air white hot on my bare torso. He mouthed at my lower stomach, hands tugging at the waistband of my shorts. His tongue ran across the divot of my hip. I arched right into it, swallowed the sun in the process.

Kane held himself above me, hands on either side of my head. His cheeks were flushed but his expression was solemn. "If you want to stop, you can say so."

I stared. "Okay."

He stared back. "Do you want to?"

"No. Do you?" 

"No."

"Okay, so?"

"Well, have you ever had sex?"

It took me a moment. "No. Not in so many words."

"Not in so—how does that work?"

"No," I hurriedly corrected. "No, but I've taken more anatomy classes than there've been British kings, so I'm pretty sure I can figure it out."

Kane just stared at me. "That's not what I'm talking about," he said, then gave me a quizzical look. "But...noted." I shrugged. Kane said, "Then, do you want to?"

I briefly saw my life in a fish-eye lens, and attempted to connect the dots of my life from racing to corpses to bullets to sex, but came up entirely confused. I trashed the thought altogether. Half because there was no logical progression, and half because there were more pressing matters.

I pushed myself upright. I said, "Yes." I paused. "Do you?"

Kane's scoff was fond. He leaned down, our foreheads bumping, his nose brushing mine. "Not even a question," he murmured.

I made a fleeting wish.

Kane kissed a line down my chest until my ribs were under his lips. His hands held my hips in place, his thumb over the false brand and the faint birthmark of an Omega. When he got far enough, he bit the unmarred space between them.

I jerked a little and he snapped, "Stop squirming, you're gonna take my eye out."

"Stop biting and we'll all be happier," I muttered back.

Kane bit the space again just out of spite. I glared. His laugh was warm against me. I pushed my hands into his hair, brushing it from his face to see his eyes.

He said, "You're one to talk," and leaned down to take me into his mouth.

The feeling was enough to break nerves in two. My head fell back onto the pillow, the groan stuck in my throat with the sticky heat. Kane held me down with a hand on my stomach, but the pressure did nothing to ease the spasm in my spine. He pressed his tongue to me and moved his head with a scary sort of ease. I bit down so hard on my lip I tasted metal. My fingers dug into his scalp, and a groan finally escaped me the second I felt his nose against my stomach. Hours passed in seconds.

He pulled off before I could lose out completely, sitting on his knees with his wild hair over his eyes. The shadows were an ever-changing kaleidoscope in battle with the ocean blue lights over his bare body. He looked forbidden, uncharted, as pretty as a devil.

He loomed over me, one hand wiping his mouth and the other rifling through his bag. I pushed myself up to run a hand from his chest to his sternum to his abdomen and down. I pressed my palm against him, and felt embers bite at the nape of my neck at the sensation, at his hiss in my ear, at the weight in my hand.

I brushed my fingers over the waistband. "Kane."

Kane's laugh was amused. He sat up above me as he fiddled with something in his hands. "Later. Lie back."

I shook my head. "Impatient."

"You're funny," he drawled. "Lift your leg."

It dawned on me that there were some things you could never truly understand until you experienced them.

"Breathing helps," Kane murmured against my heart, his tongue flicking out as he spoke. Kane moved his fingers and I sank nails into his ribs. He snapped his head up. "You're gonna draw blood."

"You can't blame reflex," I muttered, releasing him. I took in as much of a breath as I could without choking on the feeling in my stomach. "Say this gets easier"

Kane considered that. His other hand moved to pull my face towards him. "It gets easier. But distraction helps."

"I thought you said breathing is what helps."

"I'm not having a conversation right now." 

He kissed me with a handheld lighter's strength, a sweet flame and a slow pace. I dragged my fingers up to rake them through his hair, to press my body as flush against him as was physically possible. My leg wound tighter over his waist, and I felt his free hand move down my spine until it found my thigh. His thumb dug into the muscle there, folding it up against my hip. His fingers pushed in further. The air burned.

Kane moved his mouth over my cheekbone, down to my jaw, to the space below my ear. I swore I could hear my skin singing in his wake, permanently marred with the marking of his mouth. It stung and sang like a cigarette against my palm, like a bullet in my stomach.

The pad of his finger brushed in me, and I felt the veins of my body short-circuit, jolting my body up and into his. The sound the escaped me was likely one I'd take to my grave and then some.

Kane hummed. He said, "Easier?"

I ignored that. "Don't even."

I felt his grin on my cheek. "All right," he murmured.

He lifted my leg up high, holding my shin. He moved down, lips passing over my poison scar at my side, before he latched his mouth onto my thigh, the sting of his teeth leaving red in its wake. His fingers were in a slow, relentless sway against me, the knots of electricity buzzing under my skin a violent scream of heat.

The night stretched into an endless road.

Kane ran his hands over my arms, tracing the shadows of scars all the way past my elbow, up until he found my hands. I said, "Hold my hand and I'll kill you."

His laugh was a ricocheting thing. "Don't kill me," he murmured, and brought my hand up towards his mouth to kiss the base of my palm, the center of my wrist. I felt my entire chest seize and threaten to burst. "Breathing helps."

I shook my head. I tugged my hands from him, maybe just to hide the grin on my face. "Jackass."

He pulled my legs tighter around his waist, and pressed inside.

I had never doubted anatomy more within such a small amount of time. Kissing Kane was admittedly a valid distraction, and certainly did the job for most of it what with every other available area his hands could go to, but all good things had to come to an end and it wasn't long before I had to let go of some pride.

I pulled off from his mouth. "You're done, yeah?"

"Who's impatient now," he muttered. "No. You'll be injured if I go too fast."

"Give me a time estimate."

Kane kissed me again. He said in a strangely serious voice, "I promise I won't hurt you."

I searched his gaze. Wasn't that the crux of any passion, good or bad? Something had to hurt?

I swallowed, took a breath. Tried to ignore the burn of the stretch. I said, "Okay."

It felt like both an hour and a minute between when Kane finally gave me the nod. I wondered how people managed to breathe with the sensation, how anyone moved with the sheer pressure. My hands refused to leave Kane's neck, and despite his protests, I was sure there'd be nail marks in his neck for days.

He pushed himself up with his good arm. My hands slipped away, and he must have seen some sort of panic in my eyes because he said, "Calm down. I'm just adjusting."

"I'm calm," I argued.

Kane didn't argue with me on it. He pulled my body up, his hips against my thighs, the black threads flooding his skin now pitch black in the lighting. Kane held my hip with one hand. He said, "Still breathing?"

I said, breathless, "Now you're just mocking me."

"Just clarifying," he defended, and rolled his hips.

Even if I was breathing, there was no air left in my lungs after that, all of it punched right out of my gut in a single strike. I grabbed his arm just for something to hold. He said, "Are you okay?"

I took in one shuddering breath. I hauled myself up, and tugged him into an unyielding kiss. "Just move," I breathed.

Kane's grin tasted like ashes and apple crisp.

I could've made a new ring of Hell out of the feeling alone.

A demon had set my bones ablaze. My head swam and my vision danced. I tilted my head back. I pushed my spine up towards where Kane was, the sounds escaping me like breathless gasps punched out by Kane's ardent hips. The whine of the bed, the groan stifled between Kane's teeth, my own stuttering breaths. I swore I could feel him in my sternum, in my throat, too fast and too far to be safe.

His hands grabbed my legs and yanked them over his shoulders, his hands on either side of my head, the heat from his skin tangible between us. The world twisted sideways when he moved again, his hips pushing into me with such a force I felt my back slide right into the pillows. Our bodies were nearly parallel, the closeness threatening to push past the space between molecules. For a second, I saw nothing at all but blazing amber in my vision.

I chased it with a roll of my hips, the arch of my spine. My throat was sore with swallowing the scent of cotton and soap and sweat and cigarettes. I swore I'd simply burst at every vein given enough time. My muscles burned with the stretch of muscle, the taut tension winding up tighter and tighter in me, the effort to keep pace and keep track and keep my damn head on my shoulders. I subtracted the world from my view. Kane remained, heat-riddled, eyes blazing with silver and black and purple, breathless. I swore I couldn't ever see the world again.

Kane breathed, "Echo."

I figured after that, I didn't want to.

Every nerve in my body unraveled like fallen thread, and I let it.

I lied with my body resting on Kane's, my forearms on his chest and his arm behind his head. The heat had long fled, leaving the hotel room cool with fresh AC and ghosts of panting breath and fervent hips. I drew a small crow on Kane's exposed sternum. He smelled like hotel shampoo, pungent with honey. My hair was still wet from the shower and scattered droplets onto the duvet.

Kane said, "You okay?"

I considered that. I said, "Yes."

"Not bad, then."

"No," I said, smiling. "Not bad at all."

Kane hummed, resting his hand on my back. "Good." He closed his eyes. "Then go to sleep, we have the match tomorrow."

"That's tomorrow," I murmured.

"It's 2AM, it's today."

"Don't get technical with me." I rolled over to lie on my side, my back to him. "Only you would have an agenda set up to relay right after fucking someone."

"Crude," he murmured. I felt his chest press against my back. "We're almost to Red, you know."

"Cocky," I reminded.

"We are," he argued. "We'll be going farther out because of it. Have you ever flown?"

I shook my head. "No."

Kane hummed. "Have you ever wanted to?"

I shrugged. "Don't know. I've never done a lot, so I don't really know what I'm missing out on, you know? I kind of like it that way, I guess."

"Why?"

"Can't miss what you don't know."

Kane was quiet for a long time. Long enough that I was nearly ready to fall asleep, my eyelids growing heavy by the second, when Kane finally perked up to say, "Do you want to know?"

I raised a brow. "What's that mean?"

His hand glided over my waist, up towards my arms. He slotted our fingers together, chin on my shoulder. He kissed the space behind my ear. Everything in my chest ached something awful.

"Come with me," he murmured. "To Korea. For the break."

I was relatively exhausted, so I was certain that I'd hallucinated what Kane had just said. I clarified with, "Wait, what?"

"You're not going anywhere for the break, right?" he said. "So come with me. You can see the other parts of Korea, outside of the city." He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. "I leave on the tenth. We'd come back on the first day of September."

I felt like I'd been yanked back to January, to the Corvidae, to the crowd of auditioning racers with nothing but hope and hunger to get them through, Corvus hidden in the crowd and watching us in silence. I felt like I was facing Kane dripping wet, his face all stone and knives, my chance fleeting and intangible.

I blinked. I turned around. I faced Kane, my chance so tangible it was dangerous. I saw it in my peripheral. In Korea. I wanted so bad I thought I'd die from it.

"To Korea," was all I could repeat.

Kane nodded. "Come with me."'

"I can't afford it."

"You'd stay with me at my aunt's," he explained. "Asiana pays for the tickets, they're one of my match sponsors." Kane tightened his grip on my hand. "So, come with me."

Come with me.

Korea.

The world was a fractured mirror of chance and change.

I felt it slice open my palm, a bloody sacrifice for my granted wish.

I said, "Okay."

_____________________________

"Another smashing success for Corvus as they win yet another Green Diamond and advance to Red, which will be kicking off in the sunny state of Florida come September, stay tuned for that, it's going to be an interesting round..."

"...as the first Class III lycan to advance to Green Diamond, an unheard of thing, if you told me that was happening, I would not believe you, I'd think you were utterly crazy! But yes, it is happening..."

"However, King did sit out on this round, which I'm surprised by, as you usually can't keep him off the track, as we saw in the last rounds of Green. Seems like he's very serious about passing the baton off to Yun, but people are still not convinced of his capabilities and are still questioning Corvus and Avaldi about having a Class III Stirling on their team..."

"I have faith in Yun, did you see his racing today? It was almost professional. I like to just think that Stirling ranking is out of sorts and Yun is a Class I in disguise, if we're being totally honest, I'm rooting for the guy..."

"Corvus takes home yet another trophy for the night after having beat University of Arizona's Wildcats in a cutthroat 140 to 120 win, seems as though the Wildcats were not too wild about winning tonight, because Corvus knocked it out of the park in the end, which means for the first time in five years, the Wildcats will not be progressing to Red..."

"With the upcoming break for these racers, it gives us time to really sort through things, sort this all out, look into the political nature of racing, the dangers of racing, the issues that come up not just physically, but mentally, with the money and the mayhem surrounding it. I look forward to discussing this with you all in the upcoming days, stay tuned for..."

_______________________

5:05 AM - echo (echo)

i need to talk to you about something.

5:10 AM - Unknown Number

Ghostie wants to chat? Well well well! 
isn't this a nice surprise?

(this chapter is a few minutes late, haha, but hopefully still enjoyable nonetheless, i speed-wrote it to get it out as on time as i could. thank u for all your support, as i always appreciate it :) the little star is so very happy to see ur face :DDD