"Cynthia, there's not a miracle cure for him! You can't just fix him overnight!"

"Well, we can't just give up on him, Larry!"

Great, another one of my parents fights about me. Like, I can hear you guys, stop screaming. They act like I'm stupid or deaf and can't hear or comprehend what they say about me. But I'm not either of those. I see it all perfectly clear. And I definitely understand what's going on with me more than Mom and Dad have or ever will.

Mom thinks that she can find a miracle cure and make me normal overnight. She hopes that that can happen, but I can just tell she's slowly giving up on me and that dream. Dad already has, which ticks Mom off because she thinks he doesn't care. He thinks she babies me, and its just an endless loop that I'm stuck in. That I'm the center of.

You know how most people think that they are the center of the universe, and that everything, especially everything good, comes from and is them? Yeah, I am totally the opposite. I used to hate those people. Well, I still do, but now I kind if...envy them? Like, how different would my life be if I had that mindset? Zoe definitely thinks everyone believes that I'm the center of everything. She doesn't even want to try, I know that for a fact.

Do I even want to try anymore?

Connor, that was such a stupid question, you know you don't want to try anymore.

Its true, I don't. But every single time that I try to end my life and this never ending pain, I fail. It never ever works, not once. Either someone walks in when I try and calls the hospital that they'll see me again, or it just backfires on me and leaves me more broken than before.

They're all sick of me, I can tell. They see me so often, they know me more than my family knows me, the nurses at the hospital. But if they do feel that way about me, they never show it. They're always trying to make me feel better in any way possible, which is great even though it never works. My favorite nurse, though? Its definitely Heidi Hansen.

She gets it. She's real, you know? Heidi just always seems to try to get what I mean when I say something and not try to explain it to me like I'm a child. She treats me like a person. Sometimes, someone just needs a person like that to keep them mildly sane.

A\N:
I am so sorry for the long wait to get this short, crappy chapter out! I know, its barely anything, but there's nothing more I can really say in this chapter without breaking the fourth wall a lot. Thank y'all for sticking it out with me and actually reading this. It'll get better, I promise \hope! Stay safe!