I do... don't I?

"Be careful who you trust, salt and sugar look the same"

• Baby •

"Ah, stop stop stop" I complained, begging my mother for the thousand time to stop tugging my hair
"I need to get all the knots out for the stylist" she repeated herself
I sighed, trying to sit still so the makeup artist could continue.

"I just can't get over how gorgeous this dress is" Gianna commented, running her hand down the dress hanging on the doorframe as Adriana walked through the other one
"Gia, will you get your dress on... and get your grubby hands off, if there's one mark on tha-" she groaned, pulling Gia out of the room.

"There. Perfect. Now I need to go check on Lia, I'll be back in a minute" mama said sweetly, now completely dressed up, her hair pinned beautifully as she wore a dark red dress, to match my fathers tie and pocket square.

All the bridesmaids dresses were the same, a dark blue colour and quite tight but classy
Adrianna was adorned in a dark green dress, her hair down and curled to frame her face, that wouldn't stop smiling.

• Vincent •

"Will one of you do my fucking tie?!" I shouted for the thousandth time
No one was fucking helping me
"Chill brother" Rocco laughed, nodding at Arlo, who only rolled his eyes as he finally helped me.

"Will you calm down? They've redone your flower three fucking times because your pacing too much" Hudson laughed as he sat lazily in his suit. He's gonna fucking crease it
"Will you sit up properly?" I demanded angrily
He held his hands up in surrender, straightening up on the chair.

"Thought it was the bride who loses her mind" Rocco joked
"You'll all lose your fucking arms if you don't help me. Today has to be perfect" I mumbled the last part
"Just calm down" Arlo tried
"How can I calm down? What if she backs out what if... what if she hates the colours? Or the flowers... Or the vicar fucks up... what if ma does something to annoy her? What if she hates this?... what if she says no? Then what do I do?" I thought out loud.

I couldn't cope in a world without Baby, she was mine. I've been dying after her for years.
I couldn't just let her go, even if she wanted me to
I know I said I would but if push came to shove I don't know whether I could let her just walk out.

• Baby •

I couldn't stop looking in the mirror at myself
I was... dare say beautiful

• Baby •

"Ready princess? Cars outside" dad said from the doorway, dressed classy in a suit, his hair swept back and a small smile on his face as he looked at me, turned around with my veil recently place in my hair
"You look beautiful" he complimented
"Thanks" I said, so quiet I wasn't sure he heard it.

That small sad smile remained on his face as we descended the stairs
"Oh my god baby, you look... you look..."
"Gorgeous" my mother finished for Adrianna
"Thank you"

"Come on then, we have to get going we don't want to be late" Adrianna ushered everyone out, piling Brooke, Grace, Lia and Gia into her and mama's car as me and dad got in the bridal car
The ride was silent. Neither of us daring to speak as we sat so wrapped up in our own thoughts.

I always thought I'd get married in our home town, I knew it would most likely be to some mafia man. But I never thought it'd be Vincent
I never thought the tall dark eyed boy I'd liked for so long would ever utter a word to me
And now here I am, half an hour away from marrying him.

"Stop it" my father said, making me focus my attention on him as he stared out the window, his hold on my hand tightening
"Stop what?" I asked softly
"Thinking too much, it'll only upset you more" he mumbled. I sighed.

He was right, he was always fucking right.
I tried not to think about it. To just enjoy what was left of the ride before I had to stand in front of hundreds of people and say my vows to a man I had yet to love.

• Rocco •

"Where is she?" He kept asking, fidgeting where he stood
"Shut up, they're on their way" I said, straightening my tie
"What if she backs out? What if she doesn't turn up?" He asked worried
I rolled my eyes, he's been shitting it all morning.

I knew people got nervous when it came down to the I dos but fucking hell. I'm sure he was freaking out more than the bride was. Probably even more than ma is
And she's been running around like a headless chicken all morning.

I've seen him look a man dead in the eyes before gouging them out, but he couldn't stand still for five fucking minutes waiting for Baby to show up?

I was cut off from another snarky comment as the music started, I nudged his shoulder slightly, silently comforting him that she was clearly here, that he needn't worry.

• Baby •

"Ready darling?" Dad whispered, I nodded, following after the bridesmaids as my veil trailed behind me
I couldn't see him yet, the bridesmaids blocked most of my vision and naturally I had to look around as we walked, smiling to the guests that were beaming at me like they've never laid eyes on a bride before.

The church was massive, well it was more like a cathedral really, grand and beautiful, the perfect place for the wedding and yet the opposite to back home
Back home it would have been a smaller ceremony, smaller church with only family, then an ungodly after party.

I saw friends I had made over the years in this business, business friends of my mother and father, even business associates that I'm sure only turned up to witness our union and flaunt they're reputation
I even saw River, smiling as we passed, but the sadness in his eyes was undeniable.

The bridesmaids started filing out to the front row, revealing the man that made this all happen
Vincent Romano. The boy that had consumed my head in our youth, the man that now confuses it
He was turned around, back to the vicar and eyes straight on me as he just... stared.

His whole face in an expression I couldn't pin point, it was half surprise and half a smile, like he didn't know what to do with himself
And I didn't miss the love in his eyes as I came to a stop in front of him, his gaze never left mine as he took my hands in his, bringing one up to kiss the back of.

"You look beautiful" he whispered, I offered a small smile
Everyone thought this was a happy occasion, and it was, but they didn't know the circumstances behind it
So I had to pretend to be happy, I had to act along as if this was the happiest day of my life.

I didn't hate Vincent, part of me still went weak in the knees just from his smile. But I also wasn't doing cartwheels at the thought of this wedding.

When the time came to say our vows, I felt my chest constrict. I had no idea what to say. No idea how to convey my feelings without pretending
I didn't want to pretend, I didn't want to start this on a lie.

"Vincent, you- you came into my life at a very young age, and whilst we never really interacted... you... well you always made my heart flutter, the mere sight of you had my head dizzy and my knees weak" I chuckled, he wouldn't stop smiling
"I can't promise eternity, not in this kind of world..." the mafia world was cruel, unforgiving, and whilst we were fortunate enough to all still be breathing, others weren't.

Many had lost loved ones in this kind of work. I couldn't promise to always be here when there might be a bullet in my head one day
"But I do promise to try, I promise that I'll spend every day of the rest of our lives making you happy, because I know you've spent far too long in the dark... on your own. You shouldn't be alone... you're kind and smart and... and perfect really.
And I know I'm not. I'm a mess most of the time, but I do care for you, more than you'll ever know, and as the girl who used to stare after you in our childhood... wishing and praying you'd even glance my way... I couldn't be more proud and happier to be standing beside you now. I couldn't be more happy to be your wife" I smiled, holding onto his hands like a lifeline.

I felt overwhelmed, pouring out all my emotions from when we were kids and promising that I'd try, I'd try to love him, because I see it in his eyes. I see the overwhelming adoration swirling in those god forsaken eyes.

"Vincent, would you like to share your vows" the vicar asked him, he nodded, sparing a fleeting glance at him before they landed right back on me, like they had been the minute I walked though the door.

"Baby... Valentina. You- you uh" he stuttered, looking so flustered I wondered if this was actually Vincent
He took a deep breath before he took a step closer, his hold on my hands tighter than he'd ever held me before
"Baby when I first laid eyes on you, I knew I would never look at any other woman, that I would never feel that heart stopping, head spinning moment ever again. It was the very definition of love at first sight and ever since my heart has ached at your absence..."

I felt my eyes turn glassy, it was too much, he felt way too strong about me and I didn't know if I could handle it
"You are my everything Baby, my entire world revolves around you, around your smile and your eyes and the heartbeat in your chest... the day anything happens to you would be the day the very world itself burns to an oblivion because I can't live without you. I promise to protect you, with every breath in me, I promise to always love you and care for you and if you ever felt unhappy, I'd walk to the ends of the earth to make you smile again" he said with dedication.

He was serious, I could see it in his face, hear it in his voice, feel it through the bruising force of his grip, he wanted this. He needed this
He needed me...
"I love you Valentina, so much it hurts every breath I'm not with you" he said desperately, his voice calm but I could see the plea in his eyes
The begging for me to never leave him.

After that we exchanged rings, and I couldn't concentrate anymore
From the determination in his words to the way his large rough hands skimmed my smooth ones, I couldn't think
"Do you, Vincent Lorenzo Romano, take Valentina Ilaria Garcia, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do" he answered straight away, smiling at me widely
"And do you, Valentina Ilaria Garcia, take Vincent Lorenzo Romano, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The vicar asked
It felt weird, that would be the last time anyone would call me a Garcia.
I'd be a Romano now. I need to answer, I need to say yes but my head wouldn't catch up with me.

I felt Vincent's thumb rub back and forth across my palm, comforting me silently
I looked back up, into those deep dark eyes that showed nothing but pure commitment
"I do" I said simply, oblivious that I'd even really said it as I was so captivated in his gaze.

"Then I now pronounce you, man and wife" he said happily as everyone stood up to congratulate us
Vincent was up against me in a flash, staring into my eyes so intently as one hand came up to grasp my jaw softly, the cool of his wedding ring searing into my burning cheeks as we both leaned into kiss each other.

It was a quick kiss, but soft and sweet nonetheless as his lips caressed mine, his other hand having found my waist to pull me against him as everyone cheered happily
"I love you" he whispered against my lips, a beaming smile on his face as we locked eyes.

The next twenty minutes were a combined blur as I stood for god knows how many photos and smiling at relatives and guests as they congratulated us outside the church
When we finally did get in the car to drive back to the house for the after party, I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding, staring out the window with our hands entwined.

I was now Valentina Romano
Mrs Romano...
Lord help me.

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