Jaemin loved to listen to some Billboard chart songs when having free time, he always tried to catch up with what happened outside the practice room or his own world which was created perfectly by a super comfortable bed, favorite good quality computer games, dim light, and crazy texts that never stopped for a second. Jaemin was sitting on the ground in the living room at his parent's house, with earphones tucked in his ears, he's trying to help his mother prepare for dinner by making eomuk.

"I just kinda wish you were gay."

Jaemin sang softly along with the last words before the song finished, thinking of how these lyrics would hit him hard if he was younger. Maybe when he was 17,18...?

"You don't have to."

Jaemin almost jumped up when suddenly a whisper was definitely not from Billie next to him. Jeno grinned, felt so satisfied by his joke, and immediately wrapped his arm around Jaemin's shoulder, squeezed tight, and even though he knew he didn't need to but still looked around before leaning forward to drop a kiss on his beloved lips. A happy recovering pill he treated himself after a long trip.

"Hi. Not thinking you will come home this early."

Home. Jeno smiled.

He almost missed the right bus stop but thanked to Jaemin's mother, who remembered to text him to instruct the new one which had replaced the old yellow full of poster and leaf left.

"Yeah. To witness my boyfriend who decided to make a wish which has definitely come true a long time ago. Or he's wishing for someone else?"

"I guess you're right. I'm wishing for someone else. No, not someone else. It must be Sungchan or Jaehyun hyung or..."

"Wow, that's a lot."

Jaemin gave a small tender smirk.

"Mom's gonna tease you forever if she sees you looking at me like this."

Jaemin groaned, back to his duty while Jeno was laughing out loud, his puppy laugh filled the atmosphere, gave back the old memories of when Jeno first time visited his home, excitedly looked around, and was happy to do all chores to be paid by Jaemin's childhood stories, he remembered his mother patted Jeno's head fondly so many times and his father even spent time explaining how to fishing from A to Z for Jeno, how he's jealous of all that attention.

But not anymore, he didn't really realize since whenever they were in his hometown, all the things were chatted about were him, how he became a soft lazy ball slept entire morning that father had to wake him up forcefully, how he jumped around the kitchen to get close to mother every minute, how excited he was when Jeno were back from grocery shop bringing junk food and beer, how Jeno beamed when trying to explain the way Jaemin calmed the members down from stress, how he tried so hard and how extra he was when emphasizing dance moves, that he got his hair cut or finally took skincare lesions from Doyoung.

How time had passed so fast. How they ended up again in his small room, lying on the ground, enjoying the cold snipped through their shirt in the middle of a summer night. Of course, there's still Billie's voice hanging around because Jaemin had a small addiction to her song.

Jaemin saw his mind traced back to these lyrics, which would have hit them hard if they had been younger. He turned his head, soothed Jeno's cheeks by the back of his palm the way he used to do a long time ago, to comfort him on sunny days, on rainy nights, while hoping the flowers to stop blooming in his lungs, made him suffocate. But they're still, in both bodies, suffocated in the best way it could be, from time to time, sweet and wild, in any phase of the moon.

It almost killed them once. After all those texts and phone calls from Seoul, Tokyo maybe a few from LA, Jeno nervously dug his left hand into the lucky stupid red cotton coat and his right hand held Jaemin's tight, they stood at Jaemin's parent's front door, simply waiting for his father to open it again after listening to the confession. Jaemin blacked out for a moment when father swung the string but nothing happened, so quiet like everything turned out to be ash. Oh because Jeno just buried his head into his arm, his back against his father, but seriously nothing happened. They were such a dramatic couple. What was that time? Maybe when they were both 20?

"Tell me again why we're listening to this broken heart song when I'm with you right now?"

Jaemin knew he shouldn't but who cared. Trailing back to the up and down memories was always his hobby, to feel the color, the sound, the touch, the look that he'd missed. To treasure the present moment. But he guessed Jeno was right, enough heartbreak songs for the rest of their lives.

Raise a toast to the future us, when our love will finally be free.