This is bad... This is really bad...

Mark Surge thought to himself, as he rushed down the halls of the Hero Factory to his chief's office.

Why me?!

"Surge?"
The young hero froze at the familiar voice behind him. It was from William Furno, an older hero of the Alpha-Team. Furno pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and walked up to Surge. "What's with the rush?", he asked. "N-nothing!" Surge replied a bit too fast.
The red hero raised a brow at him. "Is that so?" He crossed his arms infront of his chest. "And why are you covering your core?" "N-no reason." Surge stuttered, as he kept his hand over his core. Furno narrowed his eyes at him and spoke in a low voice. "Mark Surge, as your team leader, I demand you to tell me what is going on."
Surge hesitated, but slowly lowered his hand, revealing his Quaza Core. It didn't glow in it's usual gold colour anymore, but in a deep purple.
Furno looked at it, before turning back to Surge. "So you're indicating that you have the Purple Quaza as a core?" Surge nodded. "So?"

Wait, what? What does he mean with "So?"??

As if Furno read his mind, he said: "The Purple Quaza is just a different coloured Quaza, it's nothing that special."
"But-!" Surge wanted to argue, but Furno cut him off. "Those things about it corrupting someone, holding unimaginable powers and such are just myths and rumors, they aren't true. Only thing we have to worry about is, it destroying itself, but we'll find a way to delay it."
The blue hero stayed silent at that and nodded a bit.
"Excuse my words Surge, but you're way too naiv if you really do believe those sort of things."

Naiv?

"Try not to make a big drama out of it, it makes you seem like you just want attention."

Attention?

"Alright, I understand..." Surge answered quietly, as he turned and continued his way, leaving Furno behind.

Am I that naiv?
Am I really doing this, just for attention?

Those questions kept repeating themselves in Surge's mind. It's not the first time people called him dumb, stupid, clumsy, stubborn and stuff, but it's the first time he heard it from someone he had a better relationship with than anyone else. William Furno was on the last place of Surge expecting him to say those words, behind Nathaniel Zib, their mission chief and practical parent.

Maybe Bulk was right, perhaps I am just a big drama king...

Yes, even Surge's practical older brother Duncan Bulk called him a drama king more than once. His practical younger brother Daniel Rocka, has called him clumsy and a "slow-learner". Preston Stormer, their Alpha-Leader, told him he was "uncooperative" and "too much in the background" during missions. Natalie Breez thinks he's a moron at times, Jimi Stringer says he's "too awkward" when being around other people. Surge also once overheard Julius Nex and Nathan Evo telling each other, that he was "unable to memorize things" and "annoying".
He's gotten so used to them saying such things, that not even the words of Steven Grant, his bully, could affect him anymore.

Weak, pathetic, lazy, clumsy, too quiet, annoying, short-tempered, unheroic, too introverted, too extroverted, too energetic, too tired, stupid, imbecile, dumbass, moron, too selfish, too caring...
The list goes on and on.

But still. No matter what the others called him, both Zib and Furno stood up for him. And Surge has gotten used to that.
Why did Furno start calling him that as well then? Wasn't he always the one who convinced Surge of the opposite?
Didn't HE always comfort Surge, when he had a breakdown?
"I'm so stupid, of course he couldn't be there for me forever..." Surge muttered to himself. "Why did I think that in the first place? I'm just a hopeless hero robot who thinks everyone he loves will always stay on his side..."

Why does it hurt now?

Surge stopped in front of Zib's door and had his hand up to knock, but hesitated.
Furno probably called him naiv, because he couldn't handle Surge anymore and was getting annoyed of him, with all his "problems". Surge knew that Zib wouldn't say stuff like that openly, but what if he thought the same?

Zib has always been the most understanding person there is, and also the only one who had the same problems as Surge. Difference is, Zib is better at dealing with them than Mark Surge is.
But that's also the reason why Surge wanted to talk to him in the first place.

Zib already has enough problems to deal with though. I don't want to stress him out even more... And what Furno said is most likely true anyways, that the myths are just made up. Who am I to think that they're correct? I have a much lower intelligence than everyone else here, why am I doubting the words of a veteran hero, who is also a possible future Alpha-Leader? No, I need to learn to deal with my issues and do what others say.

Yeah, that sounds right. Surge lowered his hand and walked back towards his dorm.

. . . . .

Kinda funny. "Do what the others say"? I feel like a puppet again.
Hehe...
Yeah...
Funny...

Something ran down the side of his face. Surge brought his hand up to his cheek and felt something wet. He looked at his hand and froze.

A black water like liquid was on the tips of his fingers.

He was crying again.

Surge gritted his teeth and started to run. He couldn't afford anyone seeing him in this state.

Crybaby, crybaby, crybaby...

Surge quickened his pace, as if he could outrun the voice.

You're such a crybaby!

You're too emotional.

That's why everyone is annoyed of you!

That's why everyone hates you!

That's why no one looks up to you!

You're not fit to be a hero!

The tears were coming down like a waterfall, in front of everyone. In front of all the workers, in front of the other heroes.
Surge shoved someone aside who was standing in his path.

Not now...
Not in front of them...
I can't have a breakdown now.

Someone called out to him. "SURGE, WAIT! WHAT'S WRONG?!"
But he didn't stop.
He only stopped when he arrived in his dorm. Locking it behind him, Surge leaned against the door with his back. He slid down onto the floor, pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms. Why was he like this? Why was he so useless?

"No hero is useless as long as his Quaza still glows."

Surge looked up at that. It was something Stormer once said, during their first mission against Fire Lord. Stormer may like to point out one's weaknesses and bad habits, but he also knew how to give a person hope and motivation.
Surge smiled a bit at that.

But then again...

Surge's smile faded.

Am I hero? Do I deserve the title as a hero? I have a completely different core and I've brought up more troubles than solving them...

Some memories started to pile up.
He electrocuted Core Hunter in hopes of defeating him, but only ended up having him assemble the Doom Box completely.
Surge attacked Corroder without thinking and almost got buried under a pile of iron girders, if Bulk didn't save him. But in exchange to that, Bulk nearly got a Core Transplant.
During the Brain Invasion, Surge electrocuted himself to get rid of a brain bug that was trying to attack him, but then he couldn't use the wings that were added to him anymore and he got ambushed and controlled, getting the whole Alpha-Team in trouble.

He didn't feel like a hero.
The title didn't fit him.
He gets everyone in trouble.
He's just a burden.

The tears, which slowed down earlier, came back. Surge started to sob. He tried to fight it, but it didn't work. He tried to muffle it with his hands, it didn't work. Surge sat there like that for a while.

Why am I still a hero?
Why do I make a big drama out of everything?!
Why do people still care about me?
Why am I so worthless?
Why does this hurt so much?

I hate being so emotional...
I hate the person I am...
I hate everything about me...
I wish I could prove them wrong.
I wish I could improve myself.
I wish...

What DO I wish for?
Nothing seems right...
Everything else just seems impossible.
How can I stop myself from being a burden?
What can I do, to make the others happy?

What if...

I just disappeared?