Wish I Knew You // The Revivalists

It's been eight days since my subconscious crossed the line, thin though it may have been. I've done my damnedest to wipe the hottest dream I've had since I was a horndog teenager from my memory, but...the desire lingers. Its ghost follows me around everywhere, popping up when I least expect it. I feel it in my fingertips whenever Colleen's image flashes in my mind. Which happens far too often to be safe.

I've mitigated the distraction to my best abilities, keeping our contact text only for the past several days. I've focused the majority of my time on my job, on keeping the clients safe and working to secure all upcoming appearances way ahead of schedule.

But all of my effort is about to get tossed on its ass.

Colleen flies in today with Katie. And as excited as I am to see my daughter, spend time with her, I'm fucking torn up about seeing Colleen in person. I value this woman and her place in my life. I have no desire to fuck that up just because my libido had a smartass plan to mess with my head. I need to establish those mental boundaries again. Without cluing Colleen into the turmoil brewing inside of me.

Basically, I'm fucked.

I have to believe that Katie's presence will keep me inside the lines and focused on her time with me. Of course, that's what will happen. That's always how it is when Katie's with me. And Colleen will do the same. It's the reason she's tagging along, to focus on my daughter's needs. Not mine.

Fuck. My brain starts reviewing all of the needs Colleen could help me with. I can't think about my needs and Colleen in the same paragraph. What a damn mess this is.

For the third time this week, I take a cold shower. More to shock my brain into obedience than to calm any libido issues. It's an added bonus that it serves both purposes. Dried off and dressed, I hop in the rental car I snagged for Katie's visit so I can take her around town when I'm not working and drive to the airport to pick them up. Their flight is on time and I don't want to waste a minute of their visit. Of Katie's visit, I clarify in my head in an effort to solidify the boundaries.

Instead of pulling up to the arrivals curb to wait in the car, I park in the lot and rush to the baggage claim area. I'm early enough that I get there before they do. The bags aren't even on the conveyor belt yet. It occurs to me that I should have brought flowers or something to greet them. Katie, I tell myself. Not them.

As I'm wondering if there's a flower vendor somewhere close by, the belt starts moving and a suitcase drops from the opening. No time for flowers, I guess. A couple more cases are added to the belt as passengers start filling the space around it. I scan the escalator and doorways for my girls. My Katie, I clench my jaw at the clarification. But it isn't for a few more minutes that I finally see them. I'm about to text Colleen to see where they are when I hear a familiar voice call for me.

"Dad!"

I look up to see Katie rushing toward me, arms wide. The fucking joy this kid gives me is next level. I bend down to wrap her in my arms then pick her up, swinging her in a circle.

"Oh, I missed you so much, bug!"

"Dad, I'm too old to be called bug."

I kiss her cheek about a hundred times. "Never."

"That tickles!"

"Fine, fine. I'll stop." I put her down and ruffle her hair. "How was the flight? Were you bored?"

"It was so fun! Colleen invented a drawing game that we played the entire time." Katie beams, looking so much like her mom when she was younger, back when we were happy together. I miss that part of life even though I've moved on from feeling anything for Mara.

I watch my daughter as she bounces with excitement. This trip is all we've talked about for weeks. It's finally here and she can't contain herself. Katie's light brown hair swings around her face as she talks all about the flight. Her nose wrinkles, making the few light freckles across the bridge bunch together. Her thin lips spread into a smile before she turns her head to look over her shoulder.

"Colleen says she'll sit with me at the concert."

I look past my daughter's shoulder to find the object of my confusion smiling at her. Colleen is a few feet back, dressed casually in leggings and a loose fitting creamy sweatshirt. Her blonde hair is pulled into a high ponytail and her face is wiped free of any makeup. I take a deep breath at how young she looks. So fucking young. Too young for someone like me.

Colleen is clearly giving me some space to reconnect with my daughter. But I wonder if she's holding herself back for other reasons. Maybe because I've gone a bit MIA for the last eight days. I blamed it on the tour, telling her I also needed to deal with the Citizen One lawsuit drama more than usual, but did she read between the lines?

Suddenly I'm worried for an entirely new reason than what Colleen's presence might do to me. What have I already done to our friendship from being so anxious about it all?

"Hey, thanks for bringing her. You've really gone above and beyond."

Colleen smiles at Katie before finally looking me in the eye. I noticed she avoided doing so at first. And now I see why. There's something in her gaze that steals my breath, and not in a good way.

Actually, Colleen has always been able to take my breath away. She's beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous inside and out. But this is different. This look is guarded. Hidden.

Nervous.

Well, fuck me. I've messed this up already and she just got here. I hate that she's uncomfortable. My need to keep things status quo is ruining our friendship. I have to get out of my head, both of them, and show her things between us are fine. The same as always.

I put Katie down on two feet before swiftly grabbing Colleen in a friendly hug. At least, my intention is to keep it friendly. But the second my body makes contact with her, it's like an electric charge zaps every inch of me.

"It's good to see you," I say. My voice is sure and steady even though I'm losing my shit internally. What the hell was that?

"Yeah, I've been looking forward to this." Colleen sounds fine. She isn't freaking out or second guessing any of this like I thought.

We look at each other. I note the confidence in her smile, the squareness of her shoulders. The hint of vanilla and peaches on her skin.

Damn my subconscious and that dream. Otherwise I wouldn't be looking at Colleen while actively fighting off every dirty thought rushing by in my head. Instead of giving in to temptation—the one that's daring me to pull Colleen to me and kiss the hell out of her—I turn to grab their bags off the conveyor. Then I lead them out of baggage claim and off to the car.

"Are you guys hungry? We can stop for food on the way to the hotel. Your room is all squared away."

"Is my room next to yours, daddy?" Katie asks, practically skipping across the street hand in hand with me on one side and Colleen on the other. It's too close a reminder of the family I lost.

"Yeah, of course. You'll be right by my side the entire time, bug." As will Colleen. A blessing and a curse.

"So, food?" I say again.

"I could eat," Colleen says. I give her a friendly side-eye but pull it back, feeling like it might look flirty.

"Got it. We can grab some tacos if you want. There's a place next to the hotel that has amazing street tacos."

"Perfect. I can always go for tacos." Colleen laughs as she and Katie bump hips as they walk.

"Me, too!" Katie squeals.

I nod. "Tacos it is. Then you can get settled in before we have to go to the venue for tonight's."

"Should we arrange for a ride? Are we going to meet you there, or do you have tickets for us?" Colleen inquires casually but her voice sounds tight.

"Oh, I have the night off curtesy of Mr. Zack, so make sure to thank him when you see him, okay bug?"

"I didn't know Mr. Zack was your boss." Katie comments as we reach the car. I pop the trunk and toss in their bags.

"He likes to think he is, but technically Ms. Brianna and Ms. Char are my bosses. They sign the check."

Katie nods.

We climb in the car, Colleen up front with me and Katie secure in the back. The middle seat, of course. In case someone hits us, she'll have a way better chance of survival away from the sides.

"Are you ready for your first Brianna Royce concert?" I ask.

"Yes!" Katie shouts.

I glance at Colleen to find her smiling back at Katie. Then she turns to smile at me. Something passes in her gaze but it's gone before I can name it.

I'm not sure I could handle it if I had.

We drive to the taco stand first, grabbing a dozen along with drinks, salsa and chips.

"Should we eat here or take it up to the rooms?" I pose the options to the girls.

Colleen speaks first. "Can we take it up? I need to wash the airplane feeling off soon or I might crawl right out of my skin."

Katie giggles.

We pack the food into the car and make our way to the hotel parking garage. I grab the luggage. Colleen grabs the food and Katie can't possibly be contained in any way shape or form.

"I sure hope you're worn out by bedtime. You've got energy coming out of your ears, little bug."

"I'm so excited I could hardly sleep last night."

"I have to confirm that she's been a little energizer bunny the entire day. Even on the plane she was nonstop curiosity."

Katie shrugs. "I can't help it. It's my first time on an airplane. My first time staying in a big hotel with you, and Colleen, too! It's my first Brianna Royce concert. And I get to see Citizen One, too? I brought my Jace Donovan shirt. Can we ask him for his autograph?" Katie talks a mile a minute. I can barely keep up with what she's saying.

"You have a Jace Donovan shirt?"

"Duh, Dad. He's the cute one. Ryan is the heartthrob. Alex is the bad boy, and Seth is the quiet one."

My jaw drops. I look from Katie to Colleen and back to Katie.

"You're ten." I look at Colleen for help. What help, I have no idea. But I know I just stepped into some kind of territory I don't know how to navigate.

"It's going to be fine," Colleen says.

"The cute one?" I ask, a strange fog overtaking me. Katie's too young to think a boy—nay a man—is cute.

Colleen leans in to whisper in my ear. "The fact that she just blatantly spilled all of that is a good sign."

I can't help the shocked expression on my face. "A good sign for what?"

Colleen laughs, a gorgeous smile filling her face and brightening her eyes. I'm struck silent at her glow. So damn beautiful.

"A sign that her dad is still the man who holds her heart. You haven't been replaced."

I breathe a sigh of relief. I'm not exactly sure that's what I was worried about, but now that Colleen says it out loud, I know it's what I needed to hear.

"Yet." She tacks on at the end.

"Oh, God."

"Yes, you'll probably need lots of prayer in the near future." Colleen laughs again, the same bright joy that captured me a minute ago. It centers me.

"I'll probably need you to reassure me even more." I admit.

"Anytime."

Friday feeeeeels so good! And we have a fun visit coming up in the next chapter. I've got ideas and plans and fun little backstage antics in my head.

I didn't have a song in mind when I wrote this, but the whole concept about being too young, both with Colleen and with Katie, pulled me to this one when I looked at the playlist. It's about second chances, but also about regret. And I think that's where Clinton is headed...

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