Let's take a break from covering direct issues with the play and discuss the crucial topic of story development. In the books, we grew up with Harry and his friends progressing through seven years of challenges and successes. The plotting was meticulous, sequential, and easily digestible. Deathly Hallows felt like a culmination of everything that had come before it. The 8th story, as the finale to Harry's tale, should have put Deathly Hallows to shame. Let me say that again, Cursed Child should have been the culmination of the franchise. It was not.

Here, we are invited to witness the next adventures of the Golden Trio and their children. Naturally, we would imagine a new story with a little flair, something daring and unexpected and adult that encompasses the seven previous stories. But it's sort of tragically ironic. We're meant to be viewing the future, and yet the play is stuck in the past with recycled plots and storylines that fail to bridge the gap between generations.

The Antagonist

We're left with some big questions as we go from scene to scene. Like, who is the antagonist? We literally don't know for most of the play. Is Voldemort coming back? Because they keep mentioning this in Harry's dreams. I mean, that *is* how the first act ends. But the return of Voldemort through happenstance is just a smoke screen, a false conclusion in order to stop us from suspecting Delphi.

Delphi, who is trying to convince Albus and Scorpius to do something she could have easily done... for the purposes of... what exactly? Some prophecy none of us have heard about, and won't hear about until way later? And for only about a millisecond?

So, we're just going to sit here and be confused until that's explained in tomorrow's play? Got it. I mean, it's really preposterous (have I mentioned that I hate that word?). We literally don't even hear about someone called "The Augurey" until Act 3. Again... that's the second day of viewing this play, folks. Like, you went back home in-between. Took a cab. Had a few meals. Squeezed in a few texts. Phone calls. You had a sleep. Maybe a nap, as well. Took the dog for a walk at least three times. Shower, shave, new duds. Then you came back. And then you found out that there's someone called "The Augurey". But you still had to sit through sixteen scenes before knowing that it was Delphi! The second night is 2 hours and 35 minutes long. That would make this roughly halfway into night two. That's a REALLY long time to wait for the reveal of the big bad (who's really not that big or bad, if we're being honest).

Everything about Delphi is strange. She's uninteresting and not a good villain. Tonks from the Dark Side, who must *automatically* be evil because she's the child of Voldemort, and cries at the end because she can't see him, but is also willing to just torture and kill kids at random...???

I feel absolutely nada for this character, especially because all of her development - LITERALLY ALL OF IT - was a deception. Everything about her was a lie told to the audience to keep us guessing. Which means... your audience is guaranteed to have zero investment in her, no matter what she represents to the story. Like, that's week two of Creative Writing 101, dood. And if you want her to be the baddie, at least make her interesting. Take some risks! But, no. It's Delphi, sexy goth daughter of Voldemort - who totally works at Hot Topic on weekends.

The Scar

Voldemort isn't actually coming back. That is well established. But then that means Delphi's presence is the sole reason for why Harry's scar is hurting again (#NotCanon). Is that what you're saying to us?? Because we actually don't understand. Numerous times throughout the play, characters are confused as to why Harry's scar is hurting. Yeah, we get you! Totally! We're all confused, actually. And I hope JKR and Co. realize one day that using dialogue to diagnose our confusion did nothing to fix the problem!

Dark Magic and Dangerous Black Clouds

So, if it's all Delphi, if she's the big bad, are we to assume that she is the reason "Dark Magic is in a resurgence"? And that she is the "black cloud" around Albus, predicted by Bane? I know it's crazy that I'm still questioning this, but I'm honestly unsure of the answer. The plot development of this story is so loose and undefined that it's hard to determine up from down. And, weirdly enough, this seems to be intentional. As if the more confused we are, the more mysterious the play will be. And any kind of mystery is good, right? Wrong. That might work for picking up a date at the bar until he / she gets to know you, but it doesn't work with storytelling. At least not the stories that have an ounce of self-respect.

Honestly, why is Dark Magic in a resurgence??? Because trolls and giants are moving? Even if all those things that were halfheartedly mentioned early on in the play were happening, what does that matter? We never learned why!! And it seems like we should have, especially because Delphi was never seen to be working with anyone else. She comes across like a lone wolf with a manic desire to overthrow the wizarding world and reclaim her birthright, but she does this with only the help of two teenagers and a Confundus charm. If she's alone, what's the deal with the roaming giants having Augurey tramp stamps? Hermione points this out to Harry all the way back in Scene Five of Act One, when he was being chastised for not... keeping up with his paperwork... Eh...

HERMIONE: You know, there's some interesting stuff in here...There are mountain trolls riding Graphorns through Hungary, there are giants with winged tattoos on their backs walking through the Greek Seas, and the werewolves have gone entirely underground -

Does Delphi have a posse or not? We're never told, but they seem to be insinuating that she does. JKR, Jack Thorne, and John Tiffany had two plays worth of time to develop this part of the antagonist's story. Talk about a missed opportunity!

Information and Imagination

According to Alfred Hitchcock, in order to get suspense from your audience, you provide them with a certain amount of clues and leave the rest of it to their own imagination. In Cursed Child, the writers leave too much to our imagination, which makes the play lose its rationale. We never see the reveal of the antagonist coming. The plot twists are impossible to predict, leaving us unsatisfied. We don't ever truly know what the story is meant to be, causing our minds to wander aimlessly through entire scenes. It follows very little established logic. So much of the plot is based on how Harry Potter mistreats his middle child that, I swear, during the initial read, I almost thought HARRY was the cloud hanging over his son (and, I'm sorry, but their conflict is not believable)! Then we waste so much time on correcting alternate universe scenarios that it leaves us with no consequences in the end. Because it's all just... resolved. Really? Did you just give us a story with no consequences? As the finale?

Where was that beautiful JKR foreshadowing we so love? Where were the interlocking frames of story that we couldn't wait to debate with our friends about and piece together at the end? Where was JKR's painstakingly detailed plotting, descriptive imagery, and character development? How? How were we given a story without resolution? Like, I'm honestly curious. How did this pass even the most rudimentary test for quality control?

Craig Bowker Sr.

Speaking of resolution, let's check in with everyone's favorite pointless family, the Bowkers. Maybe there's a quick edit I can do to throw an air freshener on this refuse pile of feeble story development.

It's safe to say that this entire FOUR ACT / TWO NIGHT event was predicated on the belief that Amos Diggory wanted Harry Potter to use the Time-Turner he'd recently discovered to save his son, Cedric, from dying when they were classmates at Hogwarts. Even though Amos had been confunded to do so, the story of the play is founded upon this concept.

So, let's have some fun.

Enter Craig Bowker Sr.

BOWKER SR.: Hello, Mister Potter. It's interesting. You know, Ron remembers seeing Delphi hanging out with Albus and Scorpius by the Owlery before they vanished into the past. Uhm... here's an idea... why don't you guys just... scrap this whole baby blanket thing and hop-skip the Time-Turner back to that moment Ron recalls and put a stop to it, right then and there? You know, so we can prevent her from killing my son?!

HARRY: Hmm. Don't think so, Mister Barker.

BOWKER SR.: It's Bowker.

HARRY: Yes, that's what I said. Afraid we can't mess with time, Bonker. It's much easier to try and search for them in the past, knowing it could cause immense ripples and potentially throw our world into an even worse reality than before... you know, rather than go back a day-and-a-half to stop her before she escapes...

BOWKER SR.: And kills my son...

HARRY: Sorry, who?

BOWKER SR.: CRAIG BOWKER JUNIOR.!!

HARRY: Oh, right. Yep, far too dangerous.

It would be hilarious if it wasn't actually dead-on. Bringing that weak game... what's wrong with you guys? Trying to make us all feel like Cedric's death was so wrong that it had to be corrected, only to just flippantly kill someone else and not really even mention it again. The play literally ends with Harry and Albus standing over Cedric's grave, talking jovially about the regrets Harry has and how unnecessary it was for Cedric to die. I mean, I'm not a fan of Craig Bowker Jr., none of us are, but you're cracking jokes when a kid just died. No? For real? You're seriously not going to see the link you made between Amos Diggory and Craig's dad, wherever he is? Did you not even read your own script??

I'm beginning to think I know the answer to that question.