Thank you for being my friend. 

The words rang through Thomas' ears, his heart breaking. He'd read the entire letter as if Newt was telling him face to face. Not that he'd ever be face to face with the blonde boy ever again. Not after everything that had happened to them. 

Brown eyes studied the scripture on the page, Newt's handwriting being the only thing that Thomas had left of him. That and his memories. He laughed at his own irony. 

Reading the letter again for what seemed like the millionth time, Thomas set it aside, picking up his own pen as he stared at the blank pages in front of him. He knew Newt would never read it, he knew that he would burn it later to take away the pain, but it was something he wanted to do. 

He began to write, the words pouring from him. 

Dear Newt, 

For the first letter you can remember writing, it was pretty good. You probably shouldn't take my word for it though, as I can't remember writing one either. I guess we're both just winging it. 

I know you won't ever read this, but I wanted to write back to you anyway. I wanted to tell you everything I should have told you ages ago. I'm not letting it be too late, not for you, not for me. Not for us. So, here we go. 

When I first got to the Glade, I was nothing except that scared little Greenie that just wanted to get out. I didn't understand that everyone had been in the same position as me, I thought I was the only one. But you, you showed me that I didn't have to be afraid. That I could make friends, that I could live my life with you guys.

I could live my life with you. 

You were my first real friend, Newt. I mean, of course, I had Chuck, but you were the first one who didn't talk to me because he had to. You spoke to me because you wanted to. Because that's who you are, Newt. You're a real, genuine person who just wants to help. 

Never change. 

I'm sorry about Alby. If you were here now, you'd be telling me that it wasn't my fault, but that doesn't mean I can't feel guilty about it. Great, now I can practically hear you telling me to grow a pair. Just shut up and let me talk. 

I know Alby was your friend, and because of me, he died. I think he'd still be with us if it hadn't been for me. He would have kicked WICKED in the ass. 

I guess I should get to the point now.

This whole time, Newt, you've been the glue that's stuck us all together. You've been the one to support us, to support me, when we needed it, to tell us to pull ourselves together and finish what we started. 

But now you're gone, and I don't know what we're, what I'm, going to do without you.

I'm sorry, Newt. I'm sorry for what I did to you. You won't call it a mistake, it's what you wanted after all, but for me it's something that's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I wake up in the middle of the night and I see your face and I hear your voice, 'Please, Tommy. Please', ringing in my ears. 

And it hurts. 

It's like I can't even breathe, and reminding myself that I'm safe  doesn't help. All it does is remind me that I could have saved you. And if I had to go back and do it again, I would make sure that you got the cure before anyone else. Screw the rest of the world. 

I'm sorry about what I put you through, Newt. I'm sorry about everything. Please, please, wherever you are, and I hope it's somewhere where you're happy, where you're with Alby and Chuck and everyone we've ever lost, maybe even your parents if you remember them now, please Newt, forgive me. 

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, I've had to be. 

I'll do what you asked. I'll look after Minho, Frypan, even Gally. It's what you want me to do, so I'd do it in a heartbeat. They're happy, by the way. They miss you like hell, we all do, but they're free. They're safe. 

You don't have to worry about them anymore. 

You told me thank you for being your friend. I'm the one who should be thanking you. Thank you for everything, Newt. Thank you for looking after me, for saving me, for reminding me what's good in this world. 

Thank you for reminding me what matters. Thank you for reminding me that family matters. 

Because that's what you are, Newt. You're family. You always will be. 

Goodbye, Newt. I'll miss you. 

Your Tommy.

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I just made myself cry, but I hope you guys liked this!

Love, 

LJ xx