~Sometimes life gets weird. Hang in there, it gets better. You can't calm the storm, What you can do is calm yourself, the storm will pass~

****************************

Yasmeen:

I usually wake up every morning with a feeling of fear, for I was afraid of falling into despair over my wasted life. But these days I can't believe it, I'm moving past the feeling.

At this point it doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong. At some point, I realized that being angry is just another bad habit like smoking, and I will just poison myself without knowing it if I keep letting myself get angry

I'm less angry with Ahmad. if anything, I pity him. Because he doesn't know that you can't know happiness if your life is built around resentment. Though I'm dying to know, is it killing him like it's killing me? That the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

So many thoughts crossed my mind as i lay in bed, including Ahmad's birthday that is fast approaching. I thought about what I should do to celebrate him, a surprise party, maybe. But I crossed it out because that's exactly what I did for him last year.

Then I thought about a surprise dinner date, but then again, why would I bother myself. The last time I organized a very nice surprise birthday party for him, it ended in tears.

The only thing he told me after my effort and hard work was "You shouldn't have wasted your time and money, I don't need a birthday party. It's a complete waste of your resources" and on hearing that, I couldn't hold my tears back

I was glad I predicted he might do something bad, thats why I didn't invite important people, they would have witnessed Ahmad's ingratitude and my embarrassment

I decided not do anything for him this year. That's if I am still here, I thought

After lunch, I headed to ummy's house to spend the rest of the day with Ahmad's family.

I greeted Ummy and said Hi to everyone before taking my seat. My husband came in shortly afterwards with a gloom face

I noticed that life for Ahmad is pure survival, A struggle, A test, A competition. There is hardly space in his life left for genuine joy, peace and happiness

I am not surprised at him for being his family's puppet and for being so insecure of himself, or for deeply admiring other people's lives. Because he has spent his whole life loving himself in all the wrong ways, Thats why he can never love another soul the right way

His lies, secrets and resentment are like a cancer in his soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.

I always wonder why being the bread winner of his family has never worked for him, he never got the respect, power and recognition that comes with it. Only a sense of belonging that is half way done

Habiba is the one calling the shots, she stole his title, She took his spotlight and it's working well for her

I watched Ahmad and his family carry on with their daily lives. Their hearts, although heavy with bitterness and anger at their failed expectations, greed and jealousy had gotten used to the solace of each other's company that often comes with years of living together, and they never stopped performing this simple ritual of their lives, Eating together on weekends

I was sitting quietly after dinner when I heard a beep on my phone, I quickly brought it out and I saw a message from my favorite person, Anonymous

When you're missing a peice of yourself, aching, gut wrenching emptiness begins to take over. Until you find the link that completes your very soul, the feeling will never go away. Most people find a way to fill this void, with material possessions, a string of relationships, affairs or food etc. I bare my soul with words, And so have I found mine, it's anonymous

I took my leave immediately, I walked home from my inlaws house absentmindedly, reading my love message.

I quickly put my phone away when I saw Ahmad making his way into the house, I didn't get to finish reading my love note

"Give me your car keys, I need to pick something from your car" he said

"Alright" I answered.

I fetched the key and handed it to him, He walked out of the house really quickly

I decided to sit at the balcony enjoying the fresh breeze while I finish reading my love message. I was barely seated when I suddenly saw a stranger driving off in my car, and Ahmad was not in it. I quickly picked up my phone and called him

"Who is driving my car?" I asked, With panic evident in my voice

"What?" He asked

"I mean, someone is driving my car right now and I don't recognize the person" I blurted out

"What do you mean by that? It's my friend" He said

"Oh, I have no idea. You said you were going to pick something from the car, That's why I panicked when I saw a stranger driving off in it" I told him

"Okey, I'll be home shortly" he said, cutting me off. That's when I realized what I had done, I have pissed him off by asking that question and there sure will be consequences

"How dare you ask me who is driving your car? I'm surprised at such behavior, I'm disappointed in you. Does that mean I don't have the right to give anybody your car to drive?" he shouted, as soon as he saw me

"Sorry, I panicked. But why is that even a problem?" I asked

"You're wicked and rude and despicable. You are irritating me right now, how disgusting" he said, with rage

"What?" I asked, wondering why he is red with anger over a petty issue like this

"See the way you're talking to me, your husband, the head of the family. Who do you think you are?" He asked

"I'm sorry if you're offended" I apologized again, hoping it will end there. Sadly, it didn't, he continued

"The person driving your car was my friend, that's because he was test driving it. I wanted him to point out the things that need repairs and I wanted to pay for the repairs. But now, I'll let it rot. And I promise you this, from now on, I will never touch anything that belongs to you. Clearly, what is yours is not mine, you've shown me there is a difference" he concluded

"Sorry" I said, but this time nonchalantly, without really meaning it. Because I believe that I am not at fault. I'm done feeling bad over nothing, To hell with everything. I thought

"You will pay for this, there will be consequences" he threatened me, before walking away

I relaxed and resumed reading my love letter

****************************
Hey Beautiful,

Love doesn't mean sacrificing your mental health. Love doesn't mean sacrificing your mental stability. Love doesn't mean sacrificing your self-esteem or the validation of your feelings. Love doesn't mean the end of you. At the end of Love, you should find more of you, not less of you.

Love should draw no blood from the loved and buckets from the lover. It's not love if it hurts.

So don't tie your heart to a person that has nothing left to offer you, Let it go. It might hurt for a while, but when you get over it, you'll see that its better.

This painful love you are going through is just an experience to crack open the deepest parts of your core and allow you to delve into a passion so rare, that you will find a love that was almost never meant to be. Our love Yasmeen

For a while now, You have been the summary of my entire existence, my biggest weakness and my greatest strength. The weathers of my life start and end with you. You complete me.

If life is for living , then I live mine for you, if life is for giving, then I give mine to you, if hearts are for beating, then mine beats for you.

Love me...with all the abandon of a sudden wild rain.

Love, Anonymous ❤️

******************************

After reading this message, I was buried in my thoughts. I realize that love feels less like a throbbing, pulsing animal begging for its freedom and beating against the inside of its chest

It made me realize I don't want perfect, I want something real. Something that makes me feel.

I want something else, something different, something more, something deep. Passion and romance perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second or invisible to Ahmad

*******************************
Thanks For Reading 🙏
Love You All ❤️
Don't Forget To Vote, Share & Comment 🌹
********************************

I am pleased to announce to you that our book two is most likely going to be about Yasmeen. She has emerged winner of the voting contest as she is the character with the highest number of votes

Here is the breakdown of your votes:

Yasmeen: 7 Votes
Ameenu: 4 Votes
Ahmad: 3 Votes
Aleeyah: 3 Votes
Ammar: 3 Votes
Saleem: 3 Votes
Ameerah: 3 Votes

I would like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to drop a vote, thanks for being a part of this wonderful journey so far ❤️❤️🥰🥰🤗🤗🌹🌹😘😘