Re-review 5 // Liling Long

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Here is a review for KitKattHeartAttack

Also I'm sorry about the name in the title my phone won't let me use accents on letters.

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

That's fine.

Character information


Most of this is fine and I'm commented in this character before. I do, however, have an issue with her personality. It feals like she doesn't have any actual negative traits towards others, like she's not annoying or loud or anything like that. The only negative triat she has is towards herself even though she doesn't have much reason to. Of course, she's traumatised but the trauma has to show at some point. Something like that happening would lead to her being down, even if she hides it. Hiding symptoms but still having the damage can sometimes be seen as an easy way out. You should look into mental disorders from trauma, like PTSD or depression caused by events.

Relationships


Alright these all work just make sure you develop them further and they add onto the character.

As far as Kim's quirk, maybe you could call it something like "Treble Boost."

Backstory


Alright so this works I guess, but it is overwhelmingly negative. There aren't any reasons for her to want to become a hero described here and being a vigilante is illegal, she would get in trouble with U.A if she was ever caught. Also, the provisional licence exams take place every year, so she either failed her first year ones or the whole gang related business would have to take place in the first could of months and over a year before the Overhaul arc. The gang related business works but there's a lot of coincidence in this story which can easily be criticised. Overall, add more positivity yo her past so she has some kind of reason for motivation.

O

ther





The only real issue I have with this is that four hours is a realll long time for a transformation quirk, especially at her age, maybe cut it down to 1 or 2 at a push. 60ft is also very big, so maybe cut that down so that there's more room to grow. She's pretty powerful seen as she has a mix of her parents quirk, though I don't really see a need for the water part of her abilities.

Stats

I think you should lower some of these stats so they're a bit more balanced but that's it really.

Final thoughts
I think that this character has the potential to be good and whilst she's improved a bit, she still needs work. Specifically on her background, personality and quirk. Do that and she should be good to go.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

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