Hi.
I know this book was dead, and I was originally going to post sooner. But turns out the next character's creator's account kinda... disappeared.
The account doesn't exist anymore and I invested a lot of time into that review so I had to scrap it (Not really, it'll still remain a draft. Though I might post it for the shites and giggles and I don't want that review to go to waste).

Well, explanation over. Let's dive into this, yeah?

—

NAME
Lóng, Liling
- Fun fact! There is character in Yuuei, Class 1-B named Rin Hiryū whose name if read in Chinese is Lin Fei-Long!

NAME JUSTIFICATION
Lóng (dragon in Chinese), Liling (beautiful jade in Chinese)
her father named her that because her eyes are the color green. When having her name in the order of given and surname her name says beautiful jade dragon which goes well with her quirk
- Right. I fact-checked and yeah, the meaning checks out.

NICKNAME(S)
N/A

GENDER
Female

CURRENT AGE
15-16 (story starts a year before Dekus story)
- A second year? Nice.
- But in her age's case, she should be sixteen to seventeen since I did specify current. Either way, I'm sorta excited that this story isn't on the same timeline as Midoriya; it's nice to see that people are willing to diverge when I'm so accustomed to characters whose character were made to complement the current ongoings of BNHA. Kinda a shock as well, but a pleasing one at that.

BIRTHDAY
November 7th
- I'm going to take that she is seventeen then. Canonically, it had already passed November.

ORIENTATION
Straight
- Just throwing it out there that the proper terminology is heterosexual. 

OCCUPATION
Student at UA, Class 2-A

-

PERSONALITY
- Okay, there is a glaring issue already.
- This is listing her personality traits, not sentences, something that I asked in my rules. Sure, you kinda used phrases, but it's like a run-on sentence and that goes against a whole other rule.
Helps anyone she thinks actually need it, mature and thinks rationally, doesn't get mad easily but when she does she gives off the aura of an angry Asian Mom with a flip flop in hand, protective of her friends and family, gets a bit hesitant to transform fully for her quirk, scared of being stuck in dark closed small places...
- Being scared of something that specific isn't exactly a personality trait.
...tends to watch people and try to think of what kind of person they are, doesn't like people to bother her when she's studying expect for Juan and Kim (her close friends),
...humble, doesn't like getting into situations that will get her or her clothes dirty even if it's fun,
...likes being around people that can make her smile when things are bad...,
- Again, not a personality trait.
...does her best to get those good grades so her parents don't get disappointed

(Most things will be made clear as to why she like this in her backstory)
- I kinda expect that.

- Okay, so the whole gist of her character can be summed up as "She is very school-orientated and mature and if placed in a friend group, the voice of reason/mom friend. Liling is a clean person and works hard to not disappoint her parents with some clingy issues."
- Personality-wise, she's okay. Not the most extreme character and doesn't really stand out but she's not offensive. Just a bit on the tamer side, y'know?

INTEREST(S)
she likes to do origami and hang them on the ceiling of her room, watching crime shows because she wants to know what to look for traces of the bad guy and she just likes it, likes to get some of the hype beast type of clothes because she feels like it brings her closer to him because he did that but only if she can afford it,
- Again!! Listing!! You are almost there with the complete sentences! Just a couple extra words and periods, my guy!

- Also, whose this mysterious 'him'?

ABILITY(IES)
good at calming down the situation, knowing when to make people feel guilty to do certain things for others or herself
- Otherwise known as manipulation. C'mon man, don't be wishy-washy.

TALENT(S)
picking up on shifts in behaviour and how to tell if someone is lying
- That's fresh; don't think I've ever seen those mannerisms in a fan character of BNHA before. 

SKILL(S)
can make origami quickly from practising and doing that a lot,
- Cute. Would like something that would aid in her hero career, but still cute.  

- Also, why didn't you mention her martial arts?

-

QUIRK NAME
Water Jade Dragon
- ..Interesting. 

QUIRK DESCRIPTION
- Hindsight: The grammar here is killing me.
Like her father she can turn into a jade Chinese dragon partially and fully, the horns of her dragon aren't made of the same thing as bone but ivory, they can regrow if it broken or cut off, when she fully or partially transformed her psychical strength is greater, she can also manipulate water a bit to shoot up, down, and side to side in different directions
- That was a bit redundant. You can try snipping that out as it makes reading smoother.
, she can make walls of water to help block an attack, she can only do that to water about 10 ft an around her,
- As much as that sounds like a reasonable limitation, it's not if you think about it.
- Picture this: Lóng is in the sea. For whatever reason, she becomes this behemoth of a dragon and decided to start shitting around with the water. You should know if you take water out of its container, the surrounding water floods in, replenishing that space. So, Lóng can actually have the control of the entire ocean if she really puts her mind to in.
- I would suggest a weight limitation. Maybe a good five tons in order to do that protection ability of hers? 
she can only transform for about 2 hours and 3 times a day, the partial transformation can last longer than a full one, though she hasn't figured out how much more it is though, if she tries to do more than that she'll start coughing up blood
- Okay, but why. Give me a reason why she starts coughing up blood. I don't care what your drawbacks are for a character, they can be as outlandish as you want just as long as you have some half-baked reason behind it.
and her scales falling off leading to her human form to missing bits of flesh and bleeding. In full dragon form she barely get hurt from blunt force or sharp objects,
- What the hell are your scales made out of, lady. Holy shit, if you were actually smart about this you can sell off your fallen scales off and make a fortune--
in her full form she is about 120ft long, the older she gets the longer her full transformation is
- That's... really big. 
- But all that aside, I like the detail of falling scales. Definitely not the basically impenetrable scales bit since she a fucking 120 feet long dragon that's still growing mind you. Keep in mind, this is with the combo of the force-resistant scales which enables her to do a lot of things. Maybe reduce the size a little by a couple of dozen notches since she's what I assume to be 5"1, the average height of a student her age. It's ridiculous for someone like her to reach these heights.

HERO/VILLAIN ALIAS
Jade Dragon
- Admittedly, that's a bit dull. Maybe try something with a little more.. pazazz? Like, Sky Empress (or just Empress), which is a reference to the Chinese dragon as they were commonly associated with emperors back in the day. Maybe even "Wuyue", which means "Dragon King" or "Sea Dragon King". Sure, Lóng ain't a King or even a guy, but it's a little more interesting than saying 2/3 of your quirk's name, yeah?

COSTUME
wears a kimono that ends at her knees over a sleeveless white formal Chinese shirt, the kimono is dark jade green with white trimmings, white knee-length pants that can stretch far, around her waist is a brown slash with pop off trackers that look like copper buttons, she also has a canteen on water hooked onto the sash, for shoes she has like the naruto shoes in the color brown
- Nitpick: Okay.. everything was fine until you said naruto shoes. There're just sandles. Just weird ones.
- Also, listing. 

GADGET(S)
- None were listed. So, I might as well sell some ideas.
- Maybe have blades forged from her scales? That way, if she is in a pinch, she has a back-up other than simple martial arts.
- Also, my editor suggested a squirt gun. Take that if you want.

APPEARANCE
Classic slanted Asian eyes, black hair that put up like Haku's in Naruto or all down,
- Just... try to the best of your ability to describe it. It's not all that hard.
light tan skin, green eyes from her grandpa, she teeth is a bit pointy like her father and brother from their quirk of them turning into dragons, has some scares here and there all over her body from staying too long as a dragon
- What-- no build? No specification of height? You said how she styled her hair, but how long is it? Is it pure black? Does it have some tints to it? Are these scars prominent, or are they faded? Please go all the way when it comes to appearances. 

- I'm also curious-- why wasn't her dragon form described in appearances? I would say it's a big aspect of her and I can't even get a mental image of what she would look like in that form? What is the colour of her hide? Is she maned? Nothing? Just a typical chinese dragon? You could have at least stated that.

CLOTHES
when she's not in school or hero stuff she wears plain t-shirts, sweaters, or jackets. She doesn't really like skirts so she normally where's jeans or sweatpants. Most of her sweaters and jackets from the hype beast brands so just try's to stay away from dirt. Wears Adidas and Nikes.

ACCESSORIES
probably some wooden beaded bracelet if she remembers to put it on.
- That's a kinda funny detail, not gonna lie.

-

HISTORY/BACKSTORY
Liling grew up in America in a state called Nevada where she lived with her father mother brother and grandpa.
- It's ironic since this time it called for some commas when they were abused so excessively up.
She had a pretty normal childhood with the occasional oh fluff we don't have enough money for the rent. She also took martial arts seeing that her strength from her quirk wouldn't be a full potential if he didn't use it right.
- Okay but really, do you really need the extra strength to be a giant ass dragon? You have weight and size on your side-- you can actually just bulldoze things. Sure, maybe you were a wee child back then but you're seventeen right now and 120 feet long. You would at least be 5 feet of muscle and hard scales as an infant.
Though a lot of that changed when she was 13, that's when people from the gang her father was apart of started harassing and threatening them.
- Why is this man in a gang? And I may be completely wrong about this because I'm not at all well aquatinted with the gang lifestyle, but I would assume they're close. Since I was always under the impression that gangs were groups of outcasts that would bond over a certain thing, y'know? Like a family of some sorts. So, why out of the sudden will you start harassing one of your own?
They didn't hurt them as long as they got to take her fathers horns every time they regrew.
Once they found out that Liling and Tatsuo horns were the same as their dads when they were dragons they started to do the same to them. But only once to Liling seeing that her horns weren't very long. One day Tatsuo left with those people and wasn't seen of or heard of.
After that they were weren't bothered again. They soon moved to Japan to get away from that and try to start a new life. Liling wanted to try to stop gangs from doing that or other things in general. She tries for UA and got in. There she became friends with a guy named Juan who went to her old school in America
- Lucky you. That's awful convenient.
and a guy named Kim who was a transfer student from South Korea. Most of the friend groups were already made
- Did she transfer in the middle of the school year???
so they stuck together throughout UA. She never talked about what happened to her and her family until the end of her first school year to the teachers, Juan, and Kim.
- I'm pretty sure that you don't need to be concerned about telling your teachers... I don't think the average one would frankly care unless it's really troubling you.
She was worried those people would find out and start doing those things again.
- You're a 120 feet long dragon. You are almost 3 buses long. What the fuck are you worried about???
That became worse when she saw her brother
- Why is he in Japan. Shouldn't he be in Nevada?
and him telling her to stop trying to be a hero because he doesn't want to hurt her.
- ...oh so he's a villain now. Not the most dramatic way of revealing this, I admit, but at least you're utilizing his disappearance to make things interesting.

- The backstory isn't all that bad. My only complaint as that her personality isn't shown in her backstory. Though it's not all that necessary but you should really take these rare chances in these forms to reinforce the current qualities a character possess.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH CANON
Not much really. The only one she really met was Momo because she visiting Juan when Momo came over to meet her cousin from America (Juan)
- Though I normally don't like original characters being tied by blood to canon characters, I'll let this slide as he's a cousin and nothing but. And also a side character.

FAMILY
Father: Tiamseng Lóng: (I know you didn't ask for a background but it helps with the character) a Chinese Filipino man who moved to America from the Philippines trying to put as much space between his gang life and his new one. Works as a translator for American and Filipino tourists part-time and works at a food packing factory.
- You provide some extra information, and I appreciate that, sure. But you kinda missed on the biggest thing? That is why he joined that gang in the first place? It's a big thing that happened in Liling's backstory so can I at least get one reason why he once associates himself with them?
Personality: reserved, mature, sarcastic, though around people he knows well and trusts he jokes and a bit outgoing.
Quirk: Chinese Dragon (I can't think of anything else) can turn into a Chinese dragon and fly. His horns are made of ivory and can regrow.
- Question: Is this man a twink compared to his daughter? I find it frankly amusing that his daughter is so fucking huge at the age of seventeen or so and he was harassed for his horns. Did he ever take the time to consider that he could easily overpower them with brute strength and invincible scales alone? Or plain intimidation?
- If not, why didn't he? Is he too scared too hurt them? So why not add a trait like...soft or appeasing or some other words to that effect.
/
Mother: Chuya Lóng: Japanese American lady. Became friends with Tiamseng while I working in Alaska and married him so he could stay in America. They fell in love over time and had two children. Works as a cook at a ramen shop.
Personality: likes to talk a lot, outgoing, can be stern at times, not afraid to pull out the flip flop,
- Abusive. It's just abusive.
friendly, like to make people happy but she won't take BS.
Quirk: Water Manipulation can control water in 10 ft around her and only for an hour before having to stop and rest.
- ^^^Cough.
/
Older Brother: Tatsuo Lóng: 3 years older than Liling. Black hair which is shaved at the sides, light brown skin, scars here and there like Liling.
Personality: mature, sarcastic, makes jokes here and there, responsible, a bit sensitive
Quirk: same as his sis but can shoot water from his mouth
/
Grandpa: John Kelley: Chaya's dad, white hair, blading, green whites, white skin, bags under eyes,
- Wait... white skin???? What???????? Also, green whites.
Personality: wise old man that jokes around a bit
Quirk: can shoot water from his hands like cheap water gun
- Why is Kelley mentioned? I mean-- more details and more thought-out stuff, but it's kinda... irrelevant?? Don't think he was ever mentioned in the backstory and he seems to serve very little bearing with her character other than the fact that he gave Lilling her green eyes. Are her green eyes that important that it calls for the person who gave her them to become an actual character? I don't think so.

FRIENDS
Juan Garcia, Mexica Arabic Japanese boy.
Appearance: fluffy wavy black hair, has a bit of hair that is white that hangs over his eyes a bit, golden brown skin, dark brown eyes, sharp teeth a bit from turning mostly into animals with sharp teeth, has a scar on his nose, dimples appear on his cheeks when he laughs and smiles, has a mischievous smile when he thinks about something.
Personality: easygoing, very supportive to his friends like when a friend says their goals he'll just be like go go go lets do this, a bit loud, sometimes act like a walking meme, likes to joke around, likes to try to make people happy, tries to think of reason of why people do bad things, gets serious when he's going hero things and tests but still like to make jokes here and there
- grAmmAr
Quirk: can turn into any animal or monster that he has seen or read about, all transformations are black and white, can change the size the animal/ monster, if he turns into a monster he gets the traits that the stories say about it, can change his arms, legs, and mouth without changing the rest, needs to remember the things that the animal or monster can do so he do those things, if he gets hurt in transformation it transfers to the same location where would be on the human body when he changes back, doesn't have to change back to human to change between animals or monsters
- This comes off as surprisingly powerful considering the fact that if he figures out creatures like Cthulhu exist in fables whose powers could probably destroy the fucking world if he felt like it. Uh, just keep that in mind. That or just remove the monster-transformation aspect as that's way too broad to appear fair.
- If you disregard all of that and the listing/run-on sentences (still), I like this character! Though he's a bit simple, I could let it slide since he's not the main focus and just a typical support character.
/
Kim Taekyun, South Korean Japanese boy
Appearance: dyed his hair to dark blue to light blue, natural color black, (I'll make the rest of this short) he looks like Suga from BTS.
- As much as I appreciate that, try not to do face claims in these forms. For me, personally, I think it's just kinda lazy.
Personality: cares about people's well-being greatly even if he almost does the opposite with himself, very determined to get things done, perfectionist at times with his singing and rapping, friendly and cheerful, though around older people he keeps his emotions to himself,
Quirk: when he sings he gives himself and those around him a buff in energy and physical strength or gets rid of fatigue. But depending on the lyrics or mood it can give him and others emotions along with those things. If the listeners don't understand the lyrics due to language then the emotions won't be as strong or differ for people.
- I wonder how this allowed him in Yuuei. Was it through recommendations? Would have liked if you mentioned that if he did since there is no way a quirk like that would get him past the physical entrance exam. Hell, is he a heroes student to begin with?? I'm going to assume he's a support.
- Otherwise, like Juan, he's a cutie :)

-

STATISTICS
Power: 4/5 'cause she is very good with her dragon part but not so much with the water
- You don't even need to be good. You're a huge ass dragon with water powers to taste. This should be at least be a 5/5 just from the sheer size and brute strength alone since all you really need to do is launch yourself at your opponents, but I digress.
- Editor: "There is also the intimidation factor you need to consider."
Speed: 4/5 'cause when her legs are changed she's faster
- This perpetuates my theory about her power understatement. What's that formula-- force equals mass times acceleration? If her speed is up to par to with power, then she is a force to be reckoned with.
Technique: 5/5 she is already used to her quirk and how to use it in different areas and situations. She's used to having to change things up.
- Sure.
Intelligence: 5/5 she studies hard for her subjects to the point of going to sleep late. She's and A's and B's student.
- Lol can you really be considered a 5/5 in intelligence if you get B's?? Jk but I guess that makes sense. 
Cooperativeness: 4/5 she used to working with her friends and understanding what they plan but with others, she doesn't know what to do really so she does her own thing
- That would equate to a 2/5 or 3/5. You can't work with people you get along with every time.

GOAL/MOTIVATION?
she wants to stop organized crime. She wants to stop the people her took her brother away and hurt her family.
- Makes sense.

Dorm Room
N/A

TRIVIA
- she loves noddles ramen, spaghetti, ravioli, she loves them all
- Likes music, mostly rap
- Likes to read

—

Ah. After procrastinating for weeks, I have made it to the segment I dread most.

Analysis/Summary.

AHhfdakfjdkalfjsda-- let's get this over with now that I'm on a McFucking™ roll.

Also, I've decided that that the statistics won't impact scores simply because they really don't mean much. Horikoshi himself seems to make shit up as he goes and not that relevant to the actual character. 
That won't stop me from ripping into it though. But anyways--

Originality/Creativity: 9/10
- Weirdly enough, I've never seen that much quirks that revolve around dragons. Which is strange, but oh well. The quirk was surprisingly original. I appreciate that you were able to implement the effects of her quirk into her actual character/(+)backstory. Though, her (-)personality was a bit on the blander side. She's just another girl who is smart and is caring about her close ones, big whoop. Her backstory is rather interesting though I believe that her living in America is a bit unnecessary. If her entire life took place in any region of Japan, it wouldn't be any difference since I don't think it affects her overall character. In fact, it would explain how she bumped into her brother when he should be in America or whatever. I found her (+)ticks rather endearing as well.

Realism: 7/10
- Not the best, I'll be straight with you. There are some things I found to be questionable like (--)aspects of her quirk. Long is oversized, too fast, can be basically invincible at times and can even use water. How she hasn't made it become a notable student with those skillsets is beyond me.
- Personally, I would suggest scaling (hah) her down so she's a bit more appropriately sized. Take out the spitting up blood and replace it with actual agony. Picture this: Making the transformation painful? Since all of the shape-shifting quirk-users transformations, I've seen always blend into one another. It would make even more sense considering Long is shifting into a form that is dozen time bigger than her actual self. Scales growing out of her skin and growing longer gotta hurt even after years of training.
- There are some more (-)minor inconsistencies I found as well. When you mentioned that "him" in the "interests" segment but never specified who. Why was her brother in Japan when he was kidnapped in America. Y'know, stuff like that would throw a cog into the overall story of a character. On the topic of her brother's (+)kidnapping, its effects it bore on her person was a nice touch, so go you.

Effort: 8/10
- The effort that went into this character is a shit load. The (+)side-characters, while simple, are still fleshed out to create good support. However, the (-)grammar is probably what strikes it down a couple of pegs. (-)Presentation is actually very important to a character, and an application that is basically just listing gives the impression that you didn't really care.

Interest: 8/10
- I'm actually quite interested in her backstory. It could use a few improvements but that's every character to ever exist. Things you can improve upon is kind of expanding more about her father's relationship with this gang. Why doesn't he fight back and stuff like that since I'm pretty sure you haven't yet clarified that.

75%!

I would say you can iron out the backstory since that was the main concern. Talk more about your character's father's backstory since that really impacts her story. I want to know more about their relationship and his unwillingness to fight back.

It was originally an 80 but then I knocked out points since the grammar made this a rather unpleasant experience.

-

Honestly, I just want this out. This has been in the developments for months because of the analysis. I'm certain that I'm going to adopt something more reasonable since writing these explanations is rather overkill and unconventional. It will probably be some detailed bullet points in the future and I will use @/WAFFLEZYAIBOI's way of structure.

Cheers.