Unafraid

Unaffected

Belligerent 

That is my father's tone towards Odin.

It only takes my Dad a few strides to clear the distance in the deepening snow. There is no cringing or crouching of shoulders between the two of them. Odin's standing to his full completed height demonstrating that he is to be taken into great consideration by the Alpha's approach.

Stances stiffening, the posturing towards one another so effective, littering the visual evidence that their teeth will not be idle today.

The ascension of Alpha Male instinct is leeching outwards from their pores so toxic in intentions that even with Nature's violence being hurtled at them in the form of ice and snow you can still smell the testosterone pungent scent in the freezing air. 

Odin's Nature has risen within the form of his skin. There are no pupils competing with irises of ancient forest green; there is just a solid black that has taken over all the color of his eyes. Odin's head is shaved on both sides, that showcase ancient green and blue symbols interwoven together where you can't decipher where the picture starts or where it ends. 

Mom's hand on my shoulder, Uncle Grey taking a step outside has my father shaking his head no at him. Odin lifts his thick fur jacket away and off his body, nothing is underneath but a bare chest that holds no more original colored skin. Every square inch of space has been claimed. 

Dad's eyes are pits of black, void of any color, his surging Wild gladly rising to take control of the skin side. Posturing of intent, flash of fangs showcasing his War within. Odin takes no step back, locking his place securely, posturing intent he will not be moved backward this time. The only option is forward through my father's wall towards me. 

Both Alpha males locking on each other's eyes, no looking away from the other, statements directed at each other through visual clues of warning that this fight will go to the death. 

There can only be one Alpha. 

My mother takes a forward step into the snow, "Mother Wolf, step back. I have no fight for you." Odin's words hurtle above the wind, yet my mom pays no mind to them another insistent step towards Odin whose claws have replaced fingers.

"Charlie has not consented to leave with you. She is still my daughter who has choices."

"You know what your female will be, and so do I. This is how it needs to be." Odin for a fraction of a second removes his eyes from my father who doesn't go for his throat. My father is not opportunistic he allows Odin that moment to focus off of the fight towards my mother. 

Odin's eyes fall back towards my father's eyes. Neither male will look away, so focused in intentions that I'm not sure if they notice the surrounding any longer. The cold has no effect on skin that is reddening and freezing. 

"Charlie." Mom's hand being held out to mine. Taking it, I step forward into the storm. 

Deep breath

Throat tightening

Heartrate thumping inside a chest that is rattled. 

Decisions

Turning behind me, my family all there. Shamus, Paley, Keegan Aunt Meela, Uncle Grey, the rest of their pups. 

My den family.

Another heavy intake of breath, a burn in the back of my throat that has a lump rising inside of it. Mom and Dad are willing to die for me today. Odin standing against everything for me, for his half.  

The burn causing pain from within, saliva pooling now because I can't swallow down anything. 

It's time to make a movement on my path. 

Nature kicks up the storm's wrath. The howling wind screaming as if trying to push us all inside to take shelter from its intensity. Only my father and Odin stand unaffected by it's lashing strength. 

"I will miss you." Saying it to Shamus through a heavy voice that's not sure this is the right thing to do. Looking at Paley, Keegan, our foursome no more. 

They are my only real friends, my den brothers. A little whimper comes from that throat that's constricted tightly with the inability to swallow.

Odin's whole demeanor changes, bending down he picks up his heavy fur jacket putting it back on standing solidly in his spot, waiting for me, my father no longer a consideration in his eyes. 

When Odin looks at me, his ancient forest greens are once again consuming to my vision. 

A gasp of pain so powerful comes tumbling from my mother's throat that can't hold in her pain. Her shoulders bend forward, and her head drops, a knee gives out, and she falls. My father is there picking her out of the snow.

She holds him, and he holds her. 

My mom weeps and weeps, and I can't breathe again. My father's steady, strong arms keep her standing when her legs give out again. Going to them we hold each other while the snow starts to cover us. Statue still, only our shoulders shaking and trembling with the pain of my impending departure that's real now. 

Mom nuzzling, the wolf, biting into my cheek. Her wolf whimpers, whines, and shakes within herself. Dad holds her through this, while his own wolf nuzzles into me one last time. 

When looking at Odin, he's bearing the storm stoically, nothing is given away by his features. 

"My daughter will not go out in this storm, it's too dangerous." Mom picking her head up, angling her sound towards Odin.

"Mother wolf, this is the only way! I have done the walk blind many many times in the worst of conditions preparing for this exact moment." Odin's words carry a great gentleness that his face doesn't show. 

"Come inside, Odin." It's my mom's voice that holds a strangled beg to it. While she holds me to walk towards the open door. Uncle Grey's mouth is trembling slightly looking towards mom's absolute grief. Aunt Meela holding onto Uncle Grey wiping the tears away on his shirt, while he holds her tight. Going towards them, hugging them both before pulling away.

When Odin comes inside all my smaller cousins crowd around him. They are timid but once the door to the outside closes they become braver touching the furs he's covered in. He allows the small pups to touch him. 

"I just a few minutes longer." Not really looking at Odin while saying this. I have prepared what I need for the walk. I was instructed by Odin in a letter I found on my dresser a week ago, to only dress for a blizzard. I will have everything I need in his territory when we get there.

Walking up the staircase, footsteps sound loud and mournful. Closing the door behind me, my satchel already packed with my books, and the hundreds of green pencils that I have prepared specially for the Far North. Changing into my leggings putting extra socks on my feet, getting into my snow pants. Boots are the next item to put on. The leather satchels are next before my warm winter coat goes on next. Taking out the envelopes on for my mother, for my father and Shamus. Leaving them on my pillow, my written goodbyes to them that I knew I could never get out at this moment. Looking around while putting on my hat that I made for myself with Kalla's guidance. The mitts are the next to slide securely on that Odin insists I wear. 

Bundled up securely, the steps downward are sorrowful, and I can't help the way my whole body responds to my leaving. Odin is surrounded by my little cousins that are captivated by what he's wearing. 

A wild winter wolf from the Far North Territory.

Hugging each individual family member before my father and I embrace, thanking him for being the best father. He has no words but love for me, his throat just as tight as mine. Mom is saved for last, and it's hard to break out of her embrace that's squeezing me. 

"If harm comes to her, I will hunt you down." More fur than skin voice sounds from deep in her chest directing towards Odin's throat."I expect nothing less." Odin's distinct sound soothing my mother's hurting soul. I don't say anything else, instead deciding to look forward into the storm. Odin is already outside, waiting. The front door does not close when following Odin towards the treeline I can faintly tell the light that shines through the opening before even that disappears from my vision. 

Winters cruel white scorching my face in a burning flame of ice. Odin stops at a large tree, his fur wrapped hand brushing the snow away from a large rope. He wraps it around my waist and attaches the other end to himself. Getting closer to me, so his hood covers my face for a moment, the snow blocked out for a brief second he kisses each cheek that must taste of my tears because they can't stop falling only to freeze on my jacket. He takes a hand out of his glove and smears something over my lips then does the same to his, putting the small container back into his pocket. A hand going back into his glove, he turns away from me and starts to lead our trail away from my birth territory towards the Far North.

With every step forward the snow starts to seep inside my boots, wetting my socks. The more North we go, the deeper the snow. Odin's body cutting a deep path through the snow that's drifting higher and higher, my only choice is to lay my feet where his feet just walked. 

The thick rope that binds us to each other is slack still, lots of give and at times I notice Odin reaching behind him pulling on the line to make sure I'm still attached. The wind building on itself picking up becoming harsher than the last gust.

 The temperature plummeting, its tentacle edges finding its way into every gap of space my jacket has. Shiver from how the cold is starting to dig into my bones structure. My feet having painful tingles starting at the toes now. Once I slipped in the snow causing the rope to tighten and Odin to stand to the side of me blocking the wind while I right myself up, the snow going inside my gloves but at least my fingers are still warm.

 Once steady on my feet, he starts to march North a little more quickly than before. 

Hours and hours going by and all I can see if I squint is the shadow of Odin that is nearly invisible in the wall of white that has descended around us. Nature hurtling the ice, the wind, the snow with such ferocity I don't understand how Odin is not bent from the magnitude of its force. He continues onward while the slack in the rope starts to tighten up times due to my gait starting to slow making him slow his own walk.

The inside of my nose starts freezing up, the volume of the storm just coming in waves after waves where I think it can't get any worse than the last drop in temperature. Another fall causing the snow to stick to my cheek. This time I lay there for a moment to catch my breath, the tug of the rope trying to pull me up. With shaking legs, it's back on the trail again, always moving North. 

Gail force winds assaulting every exposed area of skin. My hat keeps my head warm, but the core of me is so cold, I stopped shivering about thirty minutes ago. The freeze seeping away all my bodies warmth. Again I fall down and stay down laying in the snow needing a rest before Odin once again comes to stand on my side blocking the wind. He pulls off his glove taking out that container and slathering my lips in a thick paste, doing the same to his. 

"Charlie get up." His voice is so strong without a bend that makes the sound of the wind get out of its way. 

We continue onward, the snow knee deep to me, harder to move through. Zapping my energy to the point, I just keep falling over, my coordination failing me fast. If only I could just lay down for a few minutes with my eyes closed I think I would be alright to continue on again after a little rest. Odin has none of that, he's at my side encouraging me to get up without helping me up. 

There is no time to dwell on my family, every conscious effort is going into remaining upright and thinking about one foot forward following the path Odin is cutting through the force of Nature. 

He holds the Wild within him standing strong against the brutality of Nature. 

It seems darker to me, night starting to creep into the storm with another temperature drop. 

The thick rope pulled taut the only thing saving me from losing sight of him. I know he's in front of me, but I just can't see him anymore, midnight arriving. The cold soaking into my bones, freezing my feet, that can no longer can be felt. The burning pain turning my cheeks red as the ice lashes at my exposed skin. Even my eyes feel as if they can freeze while open.

The wail of the wind brings a gust of the blizzards fury full in my face.

We continue the Long Walk, one-foot step after the other. Hours and hours of this, my tears have stopped coming down. No more energy left except to breathe and walk. 

Sinking into the snow that's deeper than my knees now, I try to rest just for a moment, no longer able to go on. The rope pulling my body forward in the snow before it slackens.

"If you stay here you die here." Odin's voice barely makes it to my ears as the wind sweeps it away, now. I don't move, the cold winning over, controlling me.

Mother Nature's strength too formidable to fight against. My feet so cold now that they have stopped hurting, a dead numbness taking over. If only I can close my eyes for just a few moments.

"Get up!" He's screaming at me, pulling on the rope but I don't care I'm not moving from my spot anymore. 

"We don't have much further." His face barely visible, he's right in front of my eyes. Yet I just can't rally myself to get back up.

A whisper of my father's teaching throughout the years coming back to me.

If you think you're defeated, you are defeated.

I remain where I am, closing my eyes and the wind dies down momentarily as if giving me a reprieve to pick my head up. Odin's eyes of ancient green looking distressed. He's starting to pace back and forth, tugging on the rope, so my body slides in the snow. Bending down, taking his hands out of his mittens putting them on my cheeks, so warm is he it hurts my skin as if to scold it.

"Walk with me, Charlie." He helps me to a standing position he takes a step than me, he's coaching me along, my feet are blocks of unfeeling ice. The only thing that doesn't hurt is my hands which still are warm in the softness of the fur. 

Abruptly we stop between a set of oddly shaped trees, Odin gets on hands and knees and starts to dig around the raised sphere in the snow. A tunnel emerging that he's has half of his body in, digging the snow away from the entrance. He disappears inside before emerging with his head sticking out. 

"Come in." Dropping to my knees crawling into the snow tunnel that spreads out into a snow fort. Blocks of stacked snow constructed strong making it possible to stand inside the structure of it. 

Big candles are burning in the corner casting the interior with soft shades of orange light. A fur blanket is stretched out from one corner to the other corner of the space. It's warm in here, the wind muffled by the thick walls of snow. 

Tossing me a bundle. "Here, you're going to need these now." Opening the package up has my fingers falling in love with the softest of furs.

"Did you do this?"

"I caught the animals, but my sister was the one who sewed it all together. She has a great talent that the moon has blessed her with."Odin's voice changing with the talk of his sister even his hard facial expression smooth out slightly before becoming hard again.

"You need to take those clothes off, they're wet, leave them here. You won't be needing them anymore." He makes no move to look away while I try to unzip the jacket whose zipper is frozen. Odin comes over and slicing along the zipper line with a sharpened nail, tearing the useless fabric open. He carefully takes one arm out then the next before backing away, throwing the material in the corner of this snow house. 

My leather satchels are set carefully beside me on the fur that's lining the snow packed floor. He looks at what I have been carrying underneath my winter jacket but doesn't say a word. 

The tip of his claw starts at the bottom of my lip, making a perfect trail of exquisite fire down to my chin, his nail cutting a path down my throat that leaves his mark on my skin.

Blooming heat as if I am a flower opening her pedals for the first time spreads all inside me. I want to expand on this feeling. 

Taking off some of my wet clothes, Odin takes off his heavy furs, his body angles away to get the fur blanket that has been hanging from one end to the other. Before I know what's happening, he's wrapped himself and me inside of it. The fur has been warming with the flame of the candle for how long, I'm not sure. There is a lingering scent of sage and cedar inside this makeshift dwelling.

He has us on our sides over the fur rug he's had already put out on the floor. "Are you alright?" His question is in my ear, while my head in against his chest, my cheeks warming up.

"I am, just cold."

"No, I mean are you alright?" His head angled downward, while mine looks into those eyes that are darkening black.

"I'm sad, I'm going to miss my family." Why lie, I am sad. He just holds me close to him, his nail drawing pictures on my back, while the exhaustion overtakes me. The air in here is of his scent, wild, dark soil which is comforting me on a primitive level.

"You will visit them in the fall, with the next exchange. The time will go by fast, and before you know it, you'll be in your mother's arms again." Odin saying this while fingertips start to scratch my back, it's soothing. 

"How did you learn to build this?"

"When we are pups the elder's jobs are to prepare us for survival. All pups in the pack are taught how to make a shelter anywhere in snow or in the deep forest. It can mean survival if you get trapped away from the pack out on in the Wild. This is what I shifted in for the first time during my trails."

"You shifted in this?" Sounding astonished because it's so cold and lonely without anyone to help you through it. 

"Something like this except there was more space back then, it was only myself." Fingertips continuing to scratch my back has my eyes closing for longer and longer periods of time. 

"Did you shift all alone." Saying it slowly, mumbling almost trying to stay up. 

"Of course I did, all male's in the Far North do, it's our Trails, the Old Ways are respected where you are going," Odin says it proudly.

"The females, do they do the trials?"

"They have their own Trails."

"What is it?"

"They carry and birth our pups. The Old Ways teaches us that this is much more demanding and grueling than anything that males will ever go through." He holds a respectful tone in the language of his voice. 

"Females in our pack hold high honor, Charlie, this is not your birth pack. We respect our females that bring life into our pack." Again nothing but the highest quality of respect sounds out from Odin's voice. The candle light flickering, the raging muffled sounds of the storm outside makes me cuddle myself into Odin more. His strong arms holding me closer. 

"What's your brother and sister like?" Hoping they will be friendly towards me.

"My brother is made of mischief which gets him into trouble at times with my sister."

"Do you think Elska will like me?" A sound of hope in my voice. 

"Yes, she will like you. She has talked about you already. She's prepared the house for you with meals, and food. She's been gathering extra supplies for you all summer and fall, canning everything we might need for the winter. She's worked very hard not only for her own winter needs but ours as well." His voice dropping lower while talking about this and there seems to be an undercurrent of pain somewhere from deep inside him.

"We have a hard walk tomorrow, we start early. Get some rest." He continues to draw simple pictures on my back, and sometimes I think he's drawing plants. When I open my eyes during the night, I see Odin sitting against the back wall, "go back to sleep Charlie." He says very gently.

When waking up, Odin seems as if he never slept at all still sitting in the same position I saw him in before my eyes closed for the last time during the night. 

"Have you slept?"

"No, I won't sleep until we get to the second shelter." He's just sitting there shirtless staring at me a spear by his side, it's tipped in silver.

"Why the spear? The bears are sleeping this time of year."

"Charlie, there are scarier things than bears to be afraid of out here." The way he says, that makes me feel as if there might be.

"What would be scarier than a bear?"

"Hopefully you will never have to find the answer to your question out." Already he's starting to pull his furs over his head.

He watches me put on the furs that he has given me, the fur boots are so much lighter than my heavy boots, and somehow they seem warmer. Odin gives me some dried meat, and some harden bread with nuts grounded into it for me to eat. He puts supplies into the furs that are spread out, rolling them up, into a precise bundle that he secures over his shoulders just like a backpack. Before we crawl out and back into the storm. The only thing left inside the snow dwelling is my discarded winter wear that is useless in the type of weather. 

Tall, dark pines encased in a tomb of ice stand stoically as sentinels. Thier limbs so heavily burden with weight are now turning down almost as if they are holding a frown as we walk by in the deep snow.

I knew he would come for me during this time. The blizzard told me of his approach, the wind screaming his arrival as it battered against the house. After all, I have come to associate Odin with the storms of the night. His presence always coincides with mother nature's fury.

Is he my Fury?

"Come here." His voice raised against the battering blizzard that's surrounding us. Taking off his gloves his fingers instantly turning red as the deep freezing temperature eats away at good flesh in seconds.

"Tie it like this so that you won't get the wind down your back." Watching his fingers tie the leather strings in an odd way which is very effective in keeping out the nipping gust of iced pain. When I raise my eyes to his, green the color of pine's that are standing tall and boastful regard me back. If I understand him better, I would think he was going to kiss me. Instead, he pulls on my hood making sure that it's secured so no more of winter's wrath can't slip her wicked breath down my back anymore.

My breath is freezing in the air as soon as it leaves my mouth. With the last up and down along my body, making sure all the fur is properly in place. He seems satisfied with my look. He begins to cut a trail through the snow, leading me further away from my home and into his wild.

As the hours turn the sun into a fading distant light, a faint cry sounding like a wailing lost pup has Odin freezing instantly taking off his hat an ear to the wind. Its tone makes you want to go in search for the one making that soulful sound. It's coming from an eastern direction a flash of fang from Odin as if showing off to the night with what he has. Another eerie cry has my back fur rising high along the ridge of my back. Odin changes his grip on the spear that's been acting like a walking stick now it's posed as a weapon of destruction to whoever or whatever crosses its path.

When we resume our walk into the deep north, there is a haste that was never there before. A quickening of his steps that make mine double with his long strides.

It's after the next ridge we come across clusters of giant trees. Within those trees, Odin takes a direct path almost as if he's going to walk into a tree. Once close enough I realize that a small camp is set up camouflaged amongst the sturdy statues that have been there for generations.

Opening the door quickly ushering me in before closing and locking the door securely behind us. He quickly takes off his gloves while I regard my surroundings. It's basic, four walls, tight space just enough for him to lay down without touching the walls. A wood stove in the corner that he lights immediately. I think he must have prepared for our arrival because it lights fast, the rushing sound of paper catching flame quickly casts the darkness in low levels of dancing orange light. The next thing he does is light bundles of sage, creating a smoking mass of thick grayish fumes that quickly has me choking and coughing on the pungent odor.

Odin visibly relaxes once the sage is smudged to all four corners of the tiny house. Throwing the rest of the bundle into the fire, he closes the cast iron door who's insides are now throwing off warming heat. Odin goes to my hands taking off my gloves and hanging them above the stove to dry; he hangs his up next.

It doesn't take long for the biting edge of the cold to slowly recede being replaced by a gentle front of warmth.

He takes his fur parka off exposing his naked chest to me. Not an inch of flesh remains unmarked by ink. Without any barriers shielding my eyes from his skin side, it's my turn to feast at this banquet of flesh. My name is ink etched in big bold letters down the length of his rib cage, vines twisting around them.

He turns himself from my over indulgent eyes. His back a pattern of tribal mosaics along with animal prints. Not a patch of original skin catches my eyes. I want to reach out and trace the outline of the bear paw that takes up most of his back.

I start to get uncomfortably hot; I can feel my cheeks burning red.

"What is this place?" Trying to focus my attention anywhere else but him. The sight of him overwhelms the Nature inside me. He hangs up his furs along the wall by the fire to dry them out. He then spreads the furs to act as a bed for my body to lay on. 

I'm still fully dressed.

"It's the halfway point between my home and yours. I built this as soon as I knew you were my mate." He slides himself down the wall getting comfortable in a sitting position. There is no bed inside here.

Basic bare

Rummaging through a box, he tosses a blanket over himself while I just stand there not knowing exactly what to do.

"You should take off your furs, hang them up over there then get some sleep because we're going to run the rest of the way home tomorrow. Do you think you can keep up with me Charlie?"

"I have no doubts I can Odin." Stepping up to the way his voice sounds as if he's challenging my very nature. He gets a little laugh out not a nice laugh but more of, we will see laugh.

He hands me a blanket from a box before turning over as if he's going to sleep now.

"Go to sleep Charlie; nothing can get inside here now. Trust me."

With a slowness, I get undressed from my furs that were made especially for this journey. When I hang them on the hook, I can feel his eyes on my back. I can feel his paths burning desire trailing over all my exposed flesh. Wrapping the blanket around me, I take a spot on the floor as far away from him as space allows. A vibration of a low-level growl rumbles from deep within his chest, his wolf not liking the distance I chose between us.

 Resting my head down against the hardwood it's not long before the exhaustion of the day consumes me into night time dreams.

When my eyes open I find him staring at me, for how long I'm not sure but he's fully dressed while I am just hidden underneath a wool blanket.

"Did you sleep well?" He questions it out while I stretch the ache out of my body, everything feels tight and sore.

"I don't like your name, it's a male's name." His voice sounding judgemental of things I have no control over.

"That's a shame because that's my name." He gives a huff out with my response.

When he opens the door to the outside, the land looks

Sharp

Frozen

Bright

He steps outside while I get a shirt that he has out for me, and back into the winter fur.

"Do you really not like my name?" I can't hide the hurtful tone in my voice from his words he just spoke. Looking up at him, out of the side of my peripheral vision I see the fur-hood surrounding my face. He has my hat that I made him on now. His hood off, I can see his eyes.

"I don't like it, but somehow it suits you. I would never have thought I would tattoo Charlie on my body." He gives me a straight line, tight smile.

We set off on our long walk, a few minutes go by without words until he turns to me with a look that what he's going to say next is important.

"Charlie, when we get there. A line on two sides will be formed. There will be males on either side, seeking retribution for their mates Virtue. This line will have my father's best friend and his Beta waiting for you. He's the one you have to destroy first Charlie. You have to put him down instantly, or else it will be too hard for you to fight everyone else off."

"Why do I have to fight them?"

"It's how it's done, Charlie. My father promised them. I have no say in anything I'm not the Alpha yet. He's going to be the loudest, but when the time comes to fight, he will pull himself back letting the other face you first. Climb over the top of them and go for his throat first, his left shoulder is bad, that's the side to attack him on, the left....always the left....remember that." A rising edge of concern sounds out.

"What did I say, Charlie?"

"Attack him on his left." Odin takes a big breath as if trying to calm his rising Nature down.

"Charlie this is important. This has to be done like this or else whenever I'm not around you, they will seek you out in the dark, attacking you where ever you go. This way they have one shot to get you. In front of the pack. If they come and attack you after the line of Retribution they will show their weakness, they will lose their honor in the eyes of our pack, and I will be allowed to show them my teeth for their dishonor of my mate." The snarl that radiates deep from his throat has a maliciousness of intent within the sound.

The rest of the day spent talking about every male I will face, every weakness they have, every favorite move they tend to use....Odin has been studying my opponents with sharp eyes of a hawk for many years.

There is still the crispness of the cold, but it doesn't eat away at my bones anymore. The fur doing its job. Odin picks up his pace dredging a trail into the deep snow, so I don't have to make the hard path forward, he does the all the work. 

I can hear the murmuring of voices, starting to get closer while my heart rate picks itself up in my chest....coming out of a clearing, the Far North's winter grounds come into view along with a line of males so long that my tears don't come for me but for my mother. 

Bile rising hard, I'm unable to stop it from retching itself outwards, staining the beautiful white snow in filth. 

A few females, not very many maybe twelve breaks away from the group, snarls, and growls follow their bodies. They form their own line, in front of the males who are all riled up. The females take off their hats, and two braids close to their scalp stand out for me to see. They stand solidly, unflinching even at the heckles of the females that try to move them from their places. 

The females of my mother all turn to me and smile with their teeth.