Hungry lips feast on each other.

Wandering hands, feel the tremors of my desires.

His hands on my bottom, squeezing the flesh while pulling me against his erection for me to wiggle aginst. A swooping sensation shuffles itself deep within my parted thighs.

A sigh of pleasure from him, a moan out from me.

His hand slides up my shirt, to feel the smooth skin of my breast. I can feel my nipple tighten and harden between his thumb and index finger. Pinching the sensitive flesh delicately so pain and pleasure compete against one another. Starting to vocalize my harmony for this action, he presses himself into my center. The chair legs scrape into the wooden floor as my hips rotate, swivel against Odin's raised shaft. A hard groan from his chest sounds out as my mound rubs the tip of his hardness.

His finger slips inside the material of my bra.

Skin on skin

Lifting my shirt up, pulling the cup of my bra down he takes my nipple in his mouth, the tongue flicking the end of it, while teeth scrape the sensitive flesh. Pulling his head more into my chest I want him to take as much as me as he can inside that mouth.  His other hand grips the flesh of my ass roughly, pulling me against the flex of his hips upwards. Involuntary I can feel the core of me start to swell, become heavy with need. It's as if it's swollen, new sensations pulsing through my body, making my legs weak. Sucking in a breath when that hand, travels from my bottom to the inner flesh of my thighs.

He cups my sex in his hand, letting a finger trace the outline of my weeping entrance. My legs spread themselves more for his hand. He gently presses those fingers against the sensitive nub, my body quivers in the response to what his fingers are doing through material that is becoming saturated with my musk. The blood is pounding, rushing to engorge the center of me, as his fingers keep a steady friction against my sex.

Pulse beating faster and faster to match his irregular heartbeat.

Kissing me harder, while that finger pushing into the material of my pants, how I wish to feel that thick finger inside me. His mouth now on my neck, shoulder, going to the other breast. Teasing the nipple so taunt that I cry out from the feeling.

An urgency gaining hold between the both of us, Odin is teetering on an edge, I can feel his emotions as he tries to recoil his mouth from sucking on my breast, he can't. He can't pull himself off of me and I don't want him too.

Fingers finding the bulge of his pants, tentatively gripping around the girth of him. Up and down I pump him, slowly, while he gives whimpers from the base of his throat. Feeling his entire length with the palm of my hand, Odin has withdrawn his mouth from my breast. His breathing coming out faster, his mouth is parted slightly. His eyes hold a glaze before he closes them with the overpowering sensation my hand is causing - extreme turmoil within his body. There seems to be a heaviness of his balls, I can feel the ache within him. The need to release himself into me, he's fighting the fight between his Nature and himself.

Placing my mouth against his. "Odin," his name leaves the tip of my tongue to touch the tip of his.

"Charlie," He pulls himself slightly away, to open his eyes. Those ancient forest greens that are rimmed with blood bore into me. His fingertip slowly traces over the arch of my eyebrow. My fingertip traces the skin overtop his clavicle, to run my palm over the roundness of his shoulder. Down his chest, over his torso, to rest at the waistline of his pants.

"I'm going to do what I want," words promising what my mind and body want.

"There is a limit," Odin grabs my fingers in his hands, bringing my wrist to his lips, he kisses the beat of my pulse.

"I don't want limitations, plus you said, do what I want." Twisting my hand from his grip.

"After the ceremony, we will have no limits with each other." His words press into the hollow of my neck.

"I don't want to wait, we're mates, this is what mates do." My lips on the tattoo of my lips against his throat. His whole body tremors against me.

"Odin, please." Kissing his neck, letting my tongue taste his skin.

"Stop, Charlie." The words come out weak.

"I'm not going to," Sliding a hand underneath his shirt, feeling between each rib. His skin is shifting and flexing itself underneath my palm.

The heat of him intensifying, scorching a blazing path into my thighs.

"Stop, we need to just stop." He raises himself from the chair, which has me standing on shaky legs. He's also shaky because he needs to hold onto the chair's back for support.

"We don't need to stop," taking a step towards him.

"You're right we don't need to stop, but I do. I have to stop. I can't trust myself, I can't trust myself around you."

"Do you not want to mark me? Do you not want me? You keep denying the Nature of us. It's not supposed to be this way." My voice rising in accusation.

"Charlie, I do. I just want to do it the right way, the proper way. In front of our pack, in the light of our Moon. I want to show you how I have honored you by waiting, by fighting my Nature. We are almost there just a few more months, then we can do whatever we want to do, but for now, we need to wait."

"Who has said this, some ancient Alpha who wrote down some kind of rules that you all follow blindly? Where is this rule book, this book on ceremonies?" Throwing words at him, I've lost that warmth now.

"The original book was burned in a fire."

"The original book was lost? How do you know it said to take a Luna in front of the pack? How do you know that it hasn't been altered?"

"No Alpha would do that." Odin's brows furrow, a creeping doubt is felt along the shiver of his spine.

"How do you know, did you live back then?"

"No, but it's always been this way. It's the right way, Charlie." Odin's voice is rising, just like mine.

"You don't know if it's the right way at all, you just think it is because someone wrote a book way back when and has said that this is the right way. You need to think for yourself Odin, you're a big male Alpha now and you need to start using that brain of yours. Start thinking for yourself, Odin and stop letting others think for you." He looks as if I just slapped him across the face, his mood souring. I can feel a rise of bile in his stomach, almost taste it as it's bubbling out his throat in unseen vapors. A confliction swirls itself to the very core of who he is. He's shocked by my words internally but outwardly he squares his shoulders to me.

"You're one to talk," He says it low, barely above the sound of hearing.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Planting my feet, taking a wide stance, bracing for words that he's going to throw my way.

"Nothing, let's just stop arguing, I hate arguing." Saying his words while looking out the window.

"We need to talk about this, it's a stupid tradition, and I won't be part of it. Mates don't take mates this way in front of others."

"You're right, mates don't take mates in front of others, they do it in private. But the Alpha will take his Luna this way, he will take her, and she will bend to him in this."

"I'm not going to bend."

"I will make you bend to me until you can make me bend to you, Charlie...Make me bend to you, do it now. Try." He rises up to his completed height, his shadow stretches itself in the radius of the house. He consumes all space with how he can make himself to become so much more.

"If you make me bend, there is no ceremony." His words are cold, cutting into my skin.

Flash of fang and lifted lip he shows my Nature his challenge, the Wild within flashes herself towards him, she wants to meet this challenge.

Fear, a fear settles into the marrow of me, to unleash her uncontrolled could hurt him.

"Don't be afraid!" He shouts it to me, but I am afraid, I'm terrified of myself.

"Charlie, you are an Alpha female who fears everything. Your mother is not afraid, she has no fears."

"Don't bring my mother into this, she's different than me." Words coming out faster now, the ridge fur on my back starting to hackle up.

"I know. Your mother holds no fear, why do you think everyone stays out of her path. To challenge her brings their death. If wolves walk in your path you step to the side and let them pass you before you start to walk again."

"I'm being considerate." Voice falling flat, trying to remember when I ever have made someone move for me.

"No you're not, you're being a weak little wolf who is afraid of her own shadow. You don't own your path. You are a full grown Alpha female who has no idea how to be an Alpha."

"I'm not in control. I can't handle what's inside me."

"Your father is the only one that can handle your mother properly. What makes you think I can't handle you properly? Why don't you trust me to be what your half needs?" His hands are on my shoulders, "how do you expect to walk your true path if you are afraid to get on that path." He's trying to look into my eyes, but I can't look at him. His voice has dipped down, not as stern.

"What's my true path?" His body tenses, a deep breath from him.

"You need to find that out yourself."

"I guess I do." We both stare at one another, no more words.

Silence, oppressive weighted silence stretches out to separate us further apart. Neither one of us willing to bend to it....so we hold our tongues, through most of the evening. When Odin makes us a small snack, instead of sitting with him at the table I take my plate to the couch. He sits alone at the table he built for us. His head hangs long while he eats, while mine does the same.

When getting cleaned up for bed, getting out of the shower. Odin is opening the front door, a blanket in his hand, the smell of thick sage that has just been burned hazes up the inside of the home.

"Lock it after I leave." He doesn't say anything more, before closing the door, leaving me alone inside the house.

After dressing for the night, it's still too early to go to bed, so I decide to read out of my very first book, to calm me. Going to where I keep my books they aren't there, slight panic sets in. Looking around, in the corner of the living room, is a new piece furniture that I never noticed before. It's a small bookcase that displays the leather bound books of my life's work.

He's made it out of the Oak tree, that I was bond to during my very first heat. I can smell the deepness of the wood grain it holds.

It's a beautiful piece of furniture that will last many generations. Taking the book out, my father bought me this book. A little whimper comes out, I miss my family wondering what they are doing now?

Turning the pages, the first picture is of the Dandelion; it's made with my small hands of the past. The image is basic and primitive. Each part of the plant holds my writing that looks so sloppy compared to now. With each flip of the page brings a smile more to my face. Remembering the Thistle plant and how much fun, I had experimenting on the Twins with it. Wishing I could go back to those days, they were comfortable, and I took it all for granted.

The squeeze of my lungs starts to burn the length of my throat, tears brimming, threatening to overfill. Looking around the house, is this my path? Is this what I'm supposed to do? A ceremony I don't want to take part in. Looking out the window, the Moon is almost full, her light sliding in through the cracks.

I don't know what to do. So I sit there looking at picture after picture of plants I can recite quickly, the memory burned into my brain.

When the door creaks open, Odin is standing there looking at me. His eyes seem bloodshot as if he hasn't slept last night. He doesn't say a word while walking into the bedroom. His whole body seems to be tense, on guard. I hear the mattress shifting with the weight of his body on it. The sound is of him rolling around in the covers before he comes out naked to go into the shower.

When he comes out, he smells warm with the water that just hit his body. After he's dressed, he takes something out of the fridge eats it quickly before coming to stand right in front of me.

Dipping his head, he places his cheek against mine, an inhaled breath. He leaves without a word, and I don't see him for three days after that. When he does come home, he looks tired, exhausted.

"Where have you been?" Throwing my words at him, Morvared has said that she heard that he was scouting grounds for the summer camps. He could have said something to me before he left me alone.

"Out," that's what he tells me after not coming home for three days. Picking up my satchel, "Where are you going?" Odin's voice seems surprised I'm leaving.

"Out," slamming the door shut behind me, I spend the night at Morvared's house, in the little room filled with the woodsy scent of mushrooms, it's a dreamless sleep, so when I wake in the morning, Morvared has a pot of tea on. She asked me what was wrong, but I didn't want to talk about it. Instead, I concentrate on learning about the death mushroom, and all the quality it holds. It's also known as Elder mushrooms. Morvared says that Elders sometimes take it and go for the long walk into the blizzard, they feel no pain when death greets them. It's a hard day of climbing into the tangle of brambles to seek out the treasures Nature provides for us to use to help others.

When the sun starts to dip, it's the fear of the Night that has me making a decision to go back to the house instead of sleeping, here again, I do like my bed, I've gotten used to it. It takes longer to get to the house, even longer to open the door and step inside.

"Where have you been?" Odin's voice is trying to command an answer, he knows where I've been, he can smell me, can't he?

"Out." My answer irks him. Putting my leather satchel on the table taking out my treasures of the day's adventures. Roots, plants that need to be dried put in bottles or ground up. Lots of work to keep my day busy so I don't need to think about what's happening in real life.

"I'm going to my father's for dinner."

"Would you like me to come?" I already know the answer to my question.

"Charlie you know you can never sit at my father's table inside his house." My hands are kept busy sorting out the leaves into separate piles. My eyes are refusing to meet his with my hurt.

"Would you like me to bring some food home?" It's as if he's doing me some favor.

"Why bother." My voice nips at the edges of aggression before I pull myself back from that edge.

All my attention now rests on the blank page in front of me, I already know what I'm going to draw, the Death mushroom. I see his hand going for the book which I snatch, holding to my chest.

"Don't touch my books, ever!" Hissing at him with vileness. Standing, opening the front door for him to leave.

"You have somewhere to go, now go. Sit at your father's table tell him I said hello." When Odin walks out of the house, I slam the door behind him making the building shake with my rage. I open it one more time only to give myself the satisfaction of slamming it close again.

Sitting back down at my empty table taking a bite out of the green lead of the coloring pencil that conceals my compressed herbs to prevent my heat from coming. I eat one after another after another until my stomach starts to turn itself inside me.

It's better to make yourself barren than have Futures who will be raised by us.

Happy Birthday I whisper to myself. Some stupid part of me thought that I would come home and there would be dinner and a cake waiting for me. I thought he would make a fuss the way my father always does for my mother. Sometimes he would make a big deal about them, other times he would just bake a cake himself and feed it to her. I think she liked that the best. Tears start to pour out because I know that Odin knows it's my birthday he just doesn't think I'm worth celebrating over.

A knock on the door makes me not want to answer it my mood completely soured.

When I open it, Luna Bessa is there carrying a cake in her hands and a big smile on her face. Happy Birthday, Charlie, the rest of the females behind her shout out birthday wishes as they start to fill up the small home with the smells of the dishes they have brought. I see the group of twelve females, along with Elska trailing behind them, carrying her dish.

When Elska comes in she closes the door behind her, she's able to weave through the females to the counter. It's as if she has sight until you see her eyes. They hold no vision in them, pink with a film over them.

"Charlie," Luna Bessa presses her cheek against mine, the rest of the females follow her lead. Each embraces me, tears in their eyes as if this holds meaning to them.

Elska is the last to press her cheek against mine. "You don't smell of my brother, you smell like a healer." Her words shift around the room until it's silent.

"Your brother didn't come home for three days, maybe ask him why that is?" I shouldn't have said it but I feel so hurt by him just leaving me. Then not even a happy birthday wish.

"My brother was busy, he had to find the spot for our summer grounds and he-"

"Elska, can you show Elna, where all the spoons and forks are kept." Luna Bessa stopping her daughter from saying anything more.

"Charlie, come sit with us," Luna Bessa pats the seat on the couch next to her.

"All of us were talking the other day," She looks at the group of twelve, who smile towards her. Their cheeks hold the same mark as my cheek and in a weird way, it seems savagely beautiful on them.

"They were telling me stories of your mother in her youth."

"They were?" Looking at the older females who all have some sort of smiles on their faces.

"We miss you mother," One says to me with a tear in her eye.

"If it wasn't for your mother, I would never be here today. She took on three males, one was a Beta to protect me." The one who looks like Becca says with the truth in her voice.

"Your mother raised me when no one else wanted to. She trained me to fight and from then on I never went hungry." This female raises up telling me this. Her hair is french braided just like my mother wears while she trains.

From these females stories, my mother never allowed herself to step aside for someone else to walk in front of her, except my father. But my Dad and Mom have always walked side by side holding hands.

"Everythings ready, come and make a plate," Elska calls out, none of these females seem put off by Elska in fact when they get close to the food. Elska puts a hand on a waist. Or she has a hand on a females shoulder, feeling the roundness of them, to glide along the length of their arms. She's feeling them, but pretending to invite them to the line that's starting to form at the start of the counter where the food is all spread out.

Getting up, Luna Bessa and I start the line. She goes first because she pushes ahead of me. Before taking the first spoonful of food, she looks at me as if waiting to see if I challenge her to be first in line. I don't, so she eats first.

Elska is letting a female go in front of her, Elska hand starts at the base of the female's neck, she's to slide down her spine, to the rise of her bum. "Elska stop," Luna Bessa with a piece of food in her mouth, Elska has a pout on her lip that she can't hide, her face reddens to a burning cinnamon color. Even her lips burn a deep red from how she's feeling.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see if we are the same," Elska says low to the older female.

"We're the same." She takes Elska's hand, put the palm on her bum and lets her feel it. "I have a bigger ass than you. Your bum is much nicer." This female says it to Elska who turn a bright shade of red.

"Thank you." Elska doesn't put anything in her mouth she holds her stomach and I'm not sure what's wrong.

"Elska, what's wrong?"

"She said that I had a nice bum." Elska starts to cry, sob in fact. And I think that my life is so bad. Her tears aren't because she's sad, it's because she's so happy, a big lopsided smile on her face, that shows a hint of teeth. After eating the females all help clean up, and happy birthday is sung to me. Blowing out the candles I make a wish that Elska finds the happiness she deserves.

The females start to mention how well the house is built, how beautiful the pictures are on the wall. They all gasp when I tell them Odin drew them. They can't believe he can make such art. Liftin up my sleeve, I show them my two tattoos, his lips, and the Endurance symbol.

His mother smiles, Elska tries to feel them with the tip of her finger, but she frowns because she can't make out the picture, trusting her mother when she says they are exquisite.

The females crowd around and even touch them to make sure they are actual tattoos on my skin...

When it's time to go home because the sun is starting to set again, everything is put in the proper spot, it doesn't look as if there was a birthday party here.

Cheek against cheek saying our goodbyes.

Changing into pajama's getting ready to settle in for another night alone, Odin steps inside the house. I can hear the door open quietly and shut with a click of the lock.

Coming out of the bedroom, he's holding a big box, a smell starts to spread out, it smells of my home.

The box smells of my father, mother, and cousins.

"I thought you might like this." He places it on the table for me to open up.

There is a blanket that I know always sits on the back of the couch if anyone is cold they can cover themselves in. It's laying on top for me to take out and smell my home on. Gritting my teeth, the need to tear up is overwhelming, it's a happy feeling.

Inside pretty wrapped presents with my name on it from my family.

"You went to my home?" Looking into his eyes that have no more blood inside them, just the ancient greens of the forest.

"I went to your old pack, I was only there long enough to collect your presents, I sent a letter to your mother earlier in the month, saying I would be coming to collect your birthday presents. I drew her some pictures of your time here with us. She says she misses and loves you."

"Why didn't you take me with you?" Almost crying out the words.

"Because, you wouldn't come back." His voice holds the sad truth of his statement.