'Keh diya na maine ek bar, kitne bar vapas batana padega tuze!? '
He raked both his hands in his hairs. This girl in front of him was just too much. All he wanted was for her to move on_ get divorced, for her to go away from a humiliation that was him.
He was once again trying to convince her to leave his house, his mind and....his heart. She'd taken up a huge amount of space in it, and yet here she stood in front of him asking him.... 'Kya tere dil me mere lea tu thoodi se bhi jagah nahi bana sakta Shiva? I really want us to move forward, to give each other one chance, pleas-'

  He pushed her against the nearest wall, 'Nahi bana sakta mei tere lea jagah, aur yeh tu bhi samaz le....ke tere mera koi Mel nahi h' his heart pricked and cried with every word he said. But this was all for her to have a better life, and a life with Shiva Pandya could never be anything good.

    Somehow his words had been having a completely different reaction on Raavi recently. When usually his words made her cry or worst leave the place(or house), now she just stood in front of him defiantly..... A fire blazing in her dark eyes. She looked like someone who was mocking him, for his lame acting and obvious inability to lie. As if her eyes could look through his soul, and read his bleeding heart.

   'Thek hai, mei bhi dekhti hu ke tuze kaise vishwas nai hota muzpe, hum_pe? Tu bass rukh Shiva! I know tuze kaise dikhana hai that I really like you, and that I want for us to-'

    He pulled her forward on instinct, his heart wanting to bring her closer.... wanting to pull her into his embrace and never let go. He wouldn't mind dying this moment, for she'd herself said that she liked him. She likes him! Raavi likes Shiva!
And he pushed her away harder than before, knowing well that it must have hurt her a little this time. His mind had once again become the voice of reason... She was only dilusioned, it was all a lie that she'd been feeding her brain_ so that she didn't end up with another broken or lost relationship.
'Nahi! Chahe kuch bhi ho, ye baatein na sab zooth hai. Tera vahem hai. Aur kuch bhi ulta seedha karne ke soochna bhi mat. Kuch dino mei divorce ke second notice aaygi, uspe shanti se sign karna aur kuch mahino baad yaha se chali jana' with that, he held onto his fragile heart, and left her. Away from her, and yet so into her.

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         She'd always thought that people around them were too ignorant, or were too caught up in their own world's to look at them closely. How could they be fire and ice, when both of them were just as hotheaded and impulsive as the other. They knew they were possessed, they knew that the loved their loved ones beyond infinity, and that death was nothing if it came to saving the life of the ones they loved.

         And this time she was possessed, she was Madly in love with her Bhootnath. And she'd go to any lenghts to prove it.....👑

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      It was a completely impulsive thought.... she'd rattled her mind, shaken it, banged it on abstract surfaces and crushed it under imaginary object..... Well, in her defense - she was trying to think! 🤷🏻‍♀️
A harrowing task that!🤦🏻‍♀️

         How to make a guy believe that you liked him☺️, adored him😊 , fancied him🤩 _ more like had a HUGE crush in him💃🏻. So Huge that she was sure , if it continued she'll someday have a heart attack. 🙈💖Her heart Changed its Rythm whenever he was around! She knew what this was, but in her mind she'd agreed to not accept the Final feelings for him untill he confessed. She knew that idiot excuse of a actor, loved her.🥰
How? When? _ don't ask, it was just something she'd realised and was sure abt it being true.

         Getting back to brain exercises. Her first thought was to buy a Chain with his Initials - but she knew her Gadheda would think those were someone else's, and then.......

    Her second was to get chain of his Name, - but her mind reasoned that she wasn't a Dog!(for god's sake, they were cute bt....) So no Name tags in jewelry of any kind.

       Her third and final thought had taken entire 24 hours to show up. Her RAM was definitely not keeping up with her System. But it had been so obvious, and soo easy! The only way her Bandar would believe she lov- liked him, and was ready to move on in this relationship with him - was to give him a reason why She Wouldn't Leave Him.! And that could only be achieved by---- A Tattoo 😍

     Yes, she was a dobi
         Yes, she was scared of needles
     Yes, probably this was F*d idea
          Yes, she was going to do it.

       But now no amount of anything, if not her accepting Her Shiva- was enough for them. So she'll have his name inked where her life line was(her left wrist). She'll make him see that, every breath of her's was his, that he was a part of her that she couldn't let go, Wouldn't let go. And even if he does not see or believe her, he won't be able to leave her; for who would want a girl who carried another guy's name on her wrist......

         So the very next day, she rushed out of the house as soon as she was done with her chores. She'd Googled the nearest Tattoo nd Piercing shop, after a quick chat with the owner, she believed she knew everything about getting a tattoo.....
Oh how happy and shocked, her Bhootnath would be. She'll look like the perfect 'Gundi Material' after getting a tattoo.
After 30 minutes of holding back tears, biting lips and ignoring the irritating noise of tattoo gun, and constant drill_machine feeling in her wrist.... She paid 700Rs gor her 2 inch tattoo, and skipped to PS.

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        He was almost done with discussing with the supplier about next batch of supplies, when he saw her skip to him. He'd been too stressed out already, what with Gautam, Krish and of-all Dev trying to make him realise that divorce was not something he wanted. To add to it, today the streets were in a rush, the constant honking of Trucks and transport vehicles getting to his head.

         He knew his decision was soo wrong for him, and yet he swore to never be the one that chained a free bird inside his cage of love (for he didn't even have a gold cage to keep a bird as beautiful as her inside). Seeing her so...- giddy, reminded him that tomorrow the letter to their second court meeting would be here, and that she still insisted to be by his side, be his wife. Trying to ignore the migraine that was hell bent on killing his brain, he prayed to god's that he didn't loose his cool on her. For the last person he ever wanted to hurt was his Chipkali. And she just wasn't ready to leave their meaningless relationship.

  "A Shiva! Shivaaa!" She called out from the opposite side of the long road, waving her hand at him, as if spoting her could ever be a task for anyone! Her cheerful smile made, every one around her want to smile. The four'o clock sun cast a soft glow to her already bright face.
       You can't do this Shiva, usse tujzse door jana hoga. Is khokle rishte se, mukt hona hoga. Aur jab tak tu uska dil nahi todega.... Vo nahi chodage tuze
(You can't do this Shiva, she has to go away from you. U can't bind her in this excuse of a relationship, set her free. And unless you break her heart, she won't leave you)

           His inner voice sounded sad and sinster to his own ears. He wondered if he hadn't broken her heart enough already. But apparently, looking at her race to him, after the vehicles had passed, he knew she'd forgiven him for the Mandir Kaand, and divorce...
She was his sweet, innocent Angel....
And maybe he'll have to be Rudra and not Shiva this time.

  "Kya Shiva! Kabse aavaz de rahi thi mei, itna koi apne cute biwi ko ignore karta hai kya" her adorable pout was all it took to shake his resolve. But not break it......

   "Yaha kya kaam hai tera, Nikal yaha se! Chali aati hai mu utha ke', his voice was low, but the bite wasn't lost on her. She flinched back a bit, and then there was the spark- back in her eyes!

   "Dekh Shiva, maine kaha tha ke mei tuze yakeen dila ke rahungi- "

" Aey Maami_ke _behen_ke_beti! Dimag me bhoosa bhara hai-" and just like he'd cut her off, she did too....and ignoed his words as if he hadn't just said them.

"- toh mai na, -maine bohot soocha ke kaise tuze batau, pehle laga necklace Lee lu, tere initials ka- phir socha initials se kam nai banega, Poora Naam he pehen lu, but muze-"
He stared at her lost. She was the most prettiest person, he soo wanted to- to - he wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but something to show his love to her. A part of him even wondered if it was Such a huge crime, if he kept her to himself. Be the selfish person that he seldom was and once, this once - try to never let her go.
         His hand, the traitor! Moved on its own, and held hers . But the touch of her soft porcelain skin, on his callouses was enough to snap him (once again) out if his Dreamland.
    Pulling her closer with the same hand , and gripping her arm with the other he proceeded to - do something vile.
"Kya laga rakha a kitne dino se. Khud ke kuch self-respect vagere hai bhi ya nai-"
She took a startled breath, and then gasped at his words.
"Shiva..." Her soft voice almost begged him to not insult her any further, as if she knew that he planned on doing so!

    "Vo Maami ne toh tameez sikhai hai nai, phir bhi yeh to sihka sakti thi na vo. Eak baar bata diya ke muze Talakh Chayyea, toh baat kyu aage badhane hai tuze?"
      If he thought she'd stay quiet and let him speek, he'd been mistaken "Kyuki hum dono jaante hai, ke hume nahi Chayyea yeh Talakh! Aur kitni baar samzau mai tuze, that I lo-"

"Chup! Ekdam Chup! Yeh baate na, kisi aur ke pas jaake karna- muzse nai. Aur, tuze agar muzpe kisi din dil bhi aa jaye na- toh bhi yaad rakhn- tujz jaise ladki pe mera dil kabhi nai aane vala" his throat burnt as he said those last words. The words that made her shiver, and her eyes turn red.
      "Mujh- mere , mere jaise matlab? Tu aaj bhi Mandir vali - baatein believe karta hai? " She was clearly holding back her tears, her voice cracking up on every word. Lifting her hand up, she dug her nails in either of his arms

      " Shiva Yeh Galat Hai! Tere dimag mei jo kuch chal raha hai Vo Galat Hai! .... Kyu muze apne se dur karna chata hai tu.
Mera dil pathar nai h, jo tu sau(100) baar tode aur me na tuntu.
Ke tu sau bar rulaye, aur phir bhi mei haas du
Ke sau Barr tu zooth bole, aur haar baar mei samaz lu ke tere dil me Acchai hai uske peeche!" She shook him with all her might, and yelled out at his face.

           There were not much people walking around them(thanks to the chaos on the business street) but they were in public once again. Once again the Third Son of Pandya Parivar and the Third DIL were making a mockery of themselves out on the street. But unlike last time, this wasn't a misunderstanding, this was pure pain and Denial and Toxic Love at its best.

   "Aakhri baar Shiva, aakhri baar mauka de rahi hu mai! Aaj tak, bina tu Maafi mange maine humesha maaf kar diya h tuze ....par aaj agar tu phir vahi galti karega na Shiva- toh, -toh mai toot jaoungi.... Please Shiva..." Her tears were falling hown her cheeks to his hands now, her nose had turned into a sick shade of red. It was his turn to shiver now, for maybe the Devil had decided to reside in him today.

   "Raavi, Eak baat tu samaz le. Apne is dimag me dhang se fit kara le- ke is Shiva Pandya ko, Na kabhi tere aane ke khushi thi, aur na he kabhi tere jaane ka gum. Aur raahi baaki baatein, vo mai sach maanu ya naa manu - is rishte ko maine Kabh_ka Maana chod diya hai" his voice was monotonous this time, but he believed that he'd done a splendid and convincing job of lying.

      Her spine straightened, and her whole body turned stiff. She slowly moved a step back, her hands leaving their place on his arm, where he was sure there were crecents of her nails, and the skin had turned tender. He could just look back at her, while she took more steps away from him. When she was away from him, enough that he wouldn't be able to reach her.....she started clapping! So she had, once again- caught his lie.
          Her voice surprisingly mirrored his, just it was increased in octaves, " I tried Shiva! Unlike you I Tried! "

    She lifted her Left wrist, and the black ink caught his eye, He was too surprised to react. It was His Name! She had inked His Name on Herself.... And, he hadn't even made anything more that a half hearted attempt to woo her. His care, his affection, his love, he hadn't ever expressed them(just like her) but had expected too much in return for no efforts. Looking at how his name stretched across her wrist, almost like a band, his tears betrayed him.

      Maybe she was too far a goner, maybe she was too much addicted, maybe her love was too pure and too true, for she read his Tears and smiled. He wondered if she had stepped back from him, so that she could show him - and that he would've never let her say it as long as she was near him. For he would always be their Sinking Ship, and she would always be the Anchor dragging them back to land.

        "Raavi..." His voice was almost whisper, but she smiled and replied- she had to call out a bit though, for the distance that was between them.
     "Told you, mai manvake Rahungi, Aur tu maanega bhi" a beautiful laugh bubbled through her tears. He couldn't contain his joy as the realisation sunk deeper every second, She Truly Believed in 'Them', in a 'Us'. She was Hell serious abt her decission to never leave him.... Oh what else could he ever ask for... A huge smile burst on his face aswell, as he stared at his laughing other half.
        They both stood there, as acceptance of reality and hopes of future graced their inner minds. They both took a step toward each other-
            the screeching of tires was the only warning they got. She stood there in the middle of the lane that had been bustling with vehicle's since morning. And before either of them could move.... She was thrown into the air with the sudden impact, when she landed almost 4 feet behind the vehicle that hit her, her vision turned blurred. A pain in her abdomen caught her attention, and instinctively she put her hand on it. Thought her hand came in contact with something hard, as if - a metal rod? Or two?..... She looked up to see her Shiva rushing to her. She smiled relieved that he wasn't hurt....

    The pain only seemed to intensified, why was he running in slow-mo, couldn't he hurry? He was her Guardian_Devil won't he save her this time? Afterall they had just finally accepted their feelings for one another....

Just as he lifted her up, in his arms.... Another realisation sunk into her mind...
She wouldn't make it this time, her brain was turning fuzzy and mind numb and...was everything going dark?
"RAAVI! RAAVI!! MERI BAAT SUNN, RAAVII, dekh Aakhein Khol, Raavi!"

She didn't know who graced her with the strength to open her eyes and focus, but she did ....she focused on his voice

SHIVA....
SHIVA....

Somehow words, words that she hadn't thought of saying tumbled out....

" Lier... Zooth tha na .... Na- na mere ane ke khu-khushi... Na mere jaane ka - gm" her words stuck inside, her throat felt heavy....was that possible?...

SHIVA, focus raavi!

    "Mei yahi hu... ku-kuch galat ma-mat karna" her eyes stared back at his,(she didn't know what she was saying, and why) she placed her palm on his cheek(clearly missing the cheek, but not realising it)"APNE le Jeena...." everything else disappeared... she could only see him... Good, she didn't want to see anything else either.

    Mustering all the strength that she could, she pulled his hand back to her left wrist( she realised that she didn't know which hand of his it was,it scared her a bit.... but it was his, so she told herself not to worry )

    "I'm you-urs and u... u r mine"
she knew it was almost time....she knew this time would be the last.... She soo wanted to drink in everything that was SHIVA, her beautiful Shiva, her Guardian Angel, her Devil.... her lover Shiva....

  Last moments are painful and ugly....words from somewhere vague.... from somewhere she heard.... Surfaced in her mind

NO! She's his Beauty,
She'll leave him his best memory, bestest last memory....

She didn't feel the pain in her heart- as if it fumbled...
She didn't feel the pain - as it fell in love again....
His deep dark eyes, his sweet soft lips...

His lips! RAAVI your last kiss!

. . . . . . .

He heard her call him a lier,
he heard her repeat his hollow words.

She made a promise of forever,
And yet asked him to not seek her, as she warned him of the obvious.(Did she think, he could live without her?, And if she did, then he wanted to ask her how was he supposed to do it)

He heard how she laid her claim on him, and reminded him of his on her....
She brought his hand to her wrist, where the slightest swollen tattoo was stained with blood. His name in beautiful cursive, as if had always been there on her wrist....

A beautiful smile adorned her face, as her body lay close to limp in his arms. He was all that was holding her up, he was all that was holding her close... closer.
He held back the dam that was to break inside him, the Chaos that was restrained...
His face a pretty , pretty mask, something for her worth remembering in afterlife.

He knew she was Unaware of how her body shivered, of how every word she spoke led to blood rushing out of her system. How the ugly metal angle stuck out of her body and how her leg was twisted in a way that he swore not to pay attention to
He knew she couldn't feel the pain, she was too far gone and yet so close all the same....

He tried to breadth her in, tried to pull her so close to him.... So close, so that No one could take her away....
Please don't take her away.... please don't!...PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T!

Was she smiling for him? Still?....
In all the pain that he couldn't fathom. His eyes never leaving her face, for a moment settled on her red lips.... Her eyes as if a beacon for him....as a request, as a command....

She reached up in a daze. He dipped down in pain. Both equally aware and unaware. Finally her Bloody lips brushed against his Dry ones.... Finally they had a closure, abet a sad one.....

They parted after infinity,
they parted after a eternity....
For a fleeting moment can seem like forever,
And a forever can seem like passing breeze.....

They stared into, at each other
Their final words...." I love you forever".....