Existence is futile and so is thinking.

Tom let out a groan as he pretty much draped himself over the kitchen island, the edge of the cool marble poking into his stomach. He watched as Tord shoved something into the oven, the man dressed in a tight pair of black jeans and yet another tight, red t-shirt. His eyes were obviously drawn to the muscles that Tord purposely showed off, the fucking sexy bastard.

Tord finally turned around, and he perked an eyebrow when he saw Tom's vaguely awkward and uncomfortable-looking position. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked, moving closer to Tom, looking down at the cute boy. He settled his hands on each side of Tom, smiling.

A hum escaped Tom's lips, one eye closing as he looked right back up at Tord. "Comfy."

"Surely it's stabbing your stomach?" Tord said, booping Tom's nose as he grinned.

Tom narrowed his eyes at Tord. "Do that again, and I swear I'll cut your arm off."

"Uh-huh." Tord leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against Tom's forehead, making the boy relax with a soft laugh. "Edd and Matt are coming home tomorrow, so you'll probably have to sleep in your own bed, kitten." A soft smile spread across his face as he watched Tom lovingly, unable to hold it back.

"Ugh. Don't remind me," Tom whined, eyes fluttering closed, face scrunching up in distaste. "You're so warm, like, all the time. It's unfair. I have to sleep under a mound of blankets if I don't want hypothermia." He laughed slightly.

"I know! It's weird. You're cold as hell." Tord grinned at him, making him roll his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Finally, Tom pulled away from the counter, standing up like a normal person. He moved pass the counter so he could chill next to Tord, leaning against the island, casually itching his neck. "So what are you making again?"

"Serinakaker," Tord said casually, glancing down at Tom. "Norwegian butter cookies. I like them almost as much as I like sugar cookies."

"What's with you and sweets?" Tom asked, tapping his short nails against the marble behind him.

"Sugar is my drug."

"I thought I was your drug."

"You're not nearly that addictive."

Tom let out an offended gasp, placing a hand over his heart. "How dare you! I'd say I'm much more addictive than shit like sugar. It's not even that addictive."

Tord gave him a look. "No, you're just fucking weird. You barely react to sugar. I've never even seen you get a sugar rush."

He shrugged. "I just don't get the big deal with sugar. Sure, it's tasty, but you can go without it." With a soft smile, he leaned into Tord, so the man wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Are you sure you're sane?" Tord asked, chuckling softly. One hand reached up and started to play with Tom's hair.

"Ha, no." He grinned up at Tord, earning a soft kiss against his nose. The boy laughed and swiped at Tord before continuing. "Do we have any plans today? We've done literally nothing but laze around. Don't we have jobs or something?"

"Well, one, shut up, and two, I figured we could maybe watch a movie and eat the cookies. Then have sex, of course." He laughed, making Tom reach up and gently smack his cheek--not nearly hard enough for it to hurt.

"Do you always think about sex?"

"I mean, yeah, kinda."

Tom rolled his eyes as Tord learned down to offer him a soft kiss. He accepted it for some stupid reason, kissing back, eyes fluttering closed.

After Tord took the cookies out of the oven, they put on some stupid movie that Tom laughed at soley because of how dumb it was.

He loved shitty movies. Truly, the only thing that made him happy.

After the movie finished, they were still a laughing mess, Tom half laying on Tord. His legs were draped over the man's lap as he looked up at Tord.

"Oh, god. You're such an idiot," Tom said with a soft laugh, earning a flick on his nose.

"So are you," Tord reminded, picking Tom up as he stood, carrying the boy bridal style. "Perhaps that's why we're getting along now."

Tom tossed his arms around Tord's neck to keep him steady, letting out a soft hum. "I don't think I could ever get along with you. Not legally, at least." He grinned.

"Oh, thanks. That hurts a lot, Thomas."

"I will kick your fucking ass, bitch."

Tord let out a laugh as he kicked open the door to his room like an absolute loser, dropping Tom onto the bed. He climbed over the boy, trying to act a bit sexy before he broke out into laughter.

He sucks at this.

"Min Gud, I'm sorry," he said with a soft snicker, pretty much collapsing on Tom. "I actually cannot take this seriously."

Tom started giggling too, his head tilting back against the soft sheets. "We should play another game."

"Oh, so now you're Jigsaw, huh?" Tord teased lightly, pushing himself up with his hands, towering over Tom with a smirk.

"Apparently." He grinned right back, eyes rolling. "First one to laugh loses. There's no prize because I honestly just want us to have fun."

"Uh-huh. What're the rules?" Tord asked, perking an eyebrow. Tom had to stop himself from biting his lip, the hot fuck.

He shrugged, placing his hands above his head. "It has to be sexual, otherwise it's just no fun." He giggled like an idiot, looking up at Tord with a smirk, the absolute brat.

With a roll of his eyes, Tord leaned down and gave Tom a soft peck on the lips. "Game on, bitch."

"Don't call me that, you'll make me horny." Tom winked as Tord slipped his hand under Tom's sweatshirt, rubbing his side.

"You're supposed to be making jokes, kitten." He let out a soft hum as his fingers trailed up the soft, pale skin under him, moving until they brushed against Tom's nipple.

Tom almost snorted right then and there, but held it back. "Oh, fuck you, that was a joke!" he said, gently swatting at Tord's face. The Norwegian just chuckled as he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against Tom's neck. "Your stupid hickeys are going to be a bitch to cover up, you know," he hissed out, eyes narrowing.

As if as a retaliation, Tord bit right down, teeth digging in and breaking Tom's skin. The Brit gasped, back arching against Tord's as the man started pulling at Tom's nipple piercing.

"Oh, you absolute cunt!" Tom hissed out, hand immediately grabbing at Tord's hair and giving it a soft tug. Tord smirked as he sucked on it, popping off the abused skin and giving it a small kiss. His eyes flickered up to Tom's annoyed, flustered face.

Then the boy decided to speak.

"What the fuck, bro? What if the pledges see that fucking hickey, bro?"

Tord covered his mouth, trying not to break down laughing. He did not expect Tom to start speaking bro-talk. That almost gave him a heart attack. Once he calmed down, he looked back at Tom, smirking. "But, bro. How can I not bite that pretty little skin of yours?" he tried to purr sexually, but he also almost laughed during the sentence.

"Shut the fuck up, bro." Tom pulled Tord down and pressed their lips together, which made Tord huff.

He trailed a hand down and placed his hand on Tom's clothed cock, smirking as Tom's lips parted. He pretty much shoved his tongue inside of Tom's mouth. He pulled his hand up and instead tugged Tom's sweatpants and briefs off, taking Tom's cock in his hand.

With a gasp, Tom pushed Tord away just to pant out, "Pull the lever, Kronk." He quickly pulled Tord back into the kiss, continuing their full-on makeout session as Tord tried not to laugh.

"Fucking tubular, kitten," he managed into Tom's lips, grinning before shoving his tongue back in, the filthy fuck.

Tom pushed up, forcing Tord back so the Brit could actually sit up. He pulled away from the kiss, hands trailing down to Tord's jeans. He unbuttoned and unzipped them, tugging them down just enough for the Norwegian's cock to spring out. He wrapped his hand around it, giving it a slow pump. "You've got one big schlong," he purred, looking up at Tord with a small smirk.

That earned him a wink. "Thanks, kitten."

With that, Tord reached for the lube, making Tom grin. He quickly shoved the rest of his sweatpants and briefs off, tossing them wherever. Tord casually squirted lube onto his fingers, deciding it'd be a dick move if he teased Tom some more.

"On your back, baby shark," he ordered, causing Tom to make a face.

Though, he obediently leaned back, letting himself fall against Tord's comfortable sheets. The Norse grabbed Tom's knees and forced them apart, all of Tom's adorableness on display for him.

Perverted piece of shit.

With a lick of his lips, he pressed two of his fingers against Tom's hole, making the boy flinch from the cold lube. He quickly shoved both of them inside of Tom, making the boy gasp, his back arching.

"F...Fucking dick!" Tom managed out, grasping the sheets below him as Tord casually abused his prostate. He tried to squeeze his thighs together, but Tord's hand kept them spread, much to Tom's distaste. "God, you cunt! Do you have even a hint of normalcy in that--"

"Big dick of mine?" Tord cut him off, eyebrow raising as he smirked at Tom's pissed off face. He spread his fingers, earning a soft whine from Tom.

"Your dick is about as big as my confidence."

Tord almost snorted, eyes closing with slight disappointment. Then he leaned down and gave Tom's thigh a few kisses. "You're absolutely gorgeous, you cunt. Now shut up."

A smile spread across Tom's lips. Sometimes he liked Tord.

The thought quickly disappeared from Tom's mind as Tord shoved his fingers right against Tom's prostate, earning a squealish moan. A couple of French curses escaped Tom's lips out of habit as he placed a hand over his mouth, trying to muffle any noises like that in the future. Tord scowled.

"No, no, kitten," he said, his free hand reaching up to grip Tom's forearm. He pulled it away, forcing Tom's hand away from his mouth. "You know I like hearing your voice." He gave Tom a small grin.

"I've called you a cunt today, haven't I? Because you're a fucking cunt," Tom spat out, glaring at Tord with pure salt.

Tord smiled, momentarily forgetting the game. He really adored staring at Tom, even when the boy glared at him with more venom than a snake. The boy's cute button nose and fucking magically symmetrical face always got to Tord and made his heart beat just a bit faster. He really did love Tom.

"Jeg elsker deg," he murmured softly, rubbing his free hand against Tom's thigh. He pulled his fingers out of the boy, pushing Tom's thigh down. "Jeg elsker deg så mye, min kjære," he repeated, voice inaudible to the boy below him. Tom hadn't let up his glare, but Tord really didn't mind.

He casually bit down against Tom's thigh, earning an immediate squeak from Tom. His weird-ass long teeth drew blood, which caught on Tord's lip as he sucked against Tom's skin. Said boy's glare got harsher. "I need more creative insults, you lackluster bitch."

Tord responded only with a smirk, free hand gripping one of Tom's thighs as he littered hickeys around the pale skin, gently rubbing it as he teased the poor boy. Tom kept spitting out unintelligible insults, cheeks flushing red as a bit of sweat started to drip down his skin. He couldn't help the occasional moan or squeak that left his lips as Tord sucked at his poor skin.

Dick.

Finally, Tord popped off his skin, rubbing at the small bite, which just made Tom wince. That would bruise, the poor boy.

"You... are an absolute hideous fucking... coat hanger," Tom managed out, glaring at Tord with pure salt.

"Coat hanger?" Tord repeated as he reached behind him to grab the lube. He pulled his jeans down a bit more, giving his cock more room to breathe.

"Yes. You're a goddamn coat hanger." Tom let go of the sheets and let his arms rest above his head, the position rather cute. Tord just smiled as he glanced at Tom.

"Well, fair enough." He squirted some lube onto his hand before wrapping said hand around his length, giving it a couple of pumps just to smear it around. He wiped the remainder off on his jeans before gripping Tom's thighs, pulling the boy up and closer to him. His eyes half-lidded as he gave Tom a lazy grin. "You look adorable like this."

"Great!" Tom snapped right back. "You look like a freak."

Tord almosted snorted at that, shaking his head with immense disappointment. "Whatever you say, hoe."

Tom gave him the middle finger.

With that, Tord rolled his eyes and pushed inside of Tom, causing a gratifying grunt to escape Tord's lips. In time, Tom let out a precious whimper, making Tord grin.

"Du er så bedårende," Tord grunted out as he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against Tom's lips.

"Bitch."

Tord started thrusting, slamming inside of Tom and forcing a loud whine out of Tom's precious, cherry pink lips. "Yeah? You like that, you hoe? You... you bratty cunt?" Tord managed out, running out of ideas at the end of the awkward sentence.

Tom let out an awkward noise, trying not to laugh at Tord's stupidity as he looked up at the man over him. Coming up with ideas weren't easy while fucking, so pardon the both of them for any stupidity that escapes their dumbass lips.

They're both absolute idiots.

"You like my thick dong, kitten? My throbbing love stick?" he grunted out, trying not to laugh through his sentence.

Yet another weird noise escaped Tom's mouth, sounding somewhat like a strangled scream. "Don't ever say—"

Tom couldn't finish his sentence when Tord suddenly slid his hand up his sweatshirt, pinching Tom's nipple and earning a mood gasp. Tord smirked. "You're so damn cute, kitten. I almost drool whenever I look at you." He bit his lip to prevent a laugh.

"As if!" Tom hissed right back, only to squeak when Tord pinched him again. The man leaned down and started to kiss Tom's neck, occasionally leaving a bite. "You annoying ant!"

Tord pulled back and clenched his teeth so he wouldn't laugh. He pulled his hand out of Tom's sweatshirt so he could adjust Tom's position, pulling him up so he could better drill into Tom.

"Oh, fuck," Tom gasped out immediately, head tilting back as he moaned. Tord grinned as well, Tom squeezing around him in his pleasure.

"Your... your void is taking my throbbing love stick so good," he grunted out, biting his lip to prevent a laugh.

Tom let out another disgruntled noise. "Stop saying that, you weird fuck," he panted out, glaring at Tord with pure salt.

"You like it, kitten," he said, grinning down at Tom. His cock twitched with pleasure; even when they were throwing out weird jokes all the time, Tom still pushed him close to the edge.

"Fuck off," Tom managed out, Adam's apple bobbing as he gasped out in pleasure. He started gripping the sheets again as Tord drilled into him, moaning desperately.

Tord panted as his nails dug his into Tom's skin, eyes closing. "You're so fucking cute," he managed, groaning in pleasure. His abdomen started filling with heat. "Fuck, kitten, I'm close," he grunted, one eye open to look at the mess of a boy beneath him.

"Oh, hell..." Tom arched his back slightly. "Come r inside of me, Tord, please. Give me your cummies."

Tord almost laughed, digging his cock far inside of Tom. He almost lost it, but he managed to keep it down. Still, he couldn't stop his cock from twitching. He grunted. "Fuck," he panted out, head tilting back. "Fuck, I'm gonna come."

He dug his cock far inside of Tom, finishing pretty quickly as the boy let out, "Yes, daddy!"

Tord immediately lost it, eyes widening before he burst out laughing. He pretty much wheezed as Tom let go as well, giggling beneath Tord.

Jesus.

"Never say that ever again," Tord managed through his laughing, almost collapsing on top of Tom.

"Whatever!" Tom said, giggling a bit more. "Can you fucking finish me off, you cunt?"

Tord nodded, wiping one of his eyes as he tried to stop laughing. He pulled out of Tom, replacing his cock with his fingers. He pressed them against Tom's prostate as he wrapped his extra hand around Tom's cock, pumping it. A small gasp escaped Tom immediately as his back arched.

"Fuck! Right there," Tom cried out, panting desperately. He came in Tord's hand, eyes fluttering closed with relief.

Tord couldn't help the smile on his lips. "Jeg elsker deg," he murmured lovingly, though Tom didn't seem to pay much attention.

After Tord got the boy into a shower, the two of them still refusing to look at each other. It worked surprisingly well, especially because Tord would hug Tom from behind. They respected each other for the most part.

Tord's still a bitch.

Once they got dressed, they were chillin out in the living room, some stupid anime on.

"Can I have my sweatshirt back now?" Tord asked with a small laugh, glancing down at Tom.

Said boy pouted as he sat up. "Fine, whatever." He crossed his arms and grabbed the rim of the hoodie, pulling it off before tossing it at Tord's face.

The Norse laughed, smiling. His sweatshirt now smelled like Tom, and he couldn't complain at all. "You're so cute. Even how to take off your shirts are cute." He laughed again like a dick.

"Fuck off."

Tord snickered.

Once it got late, they eventually had to retire to their own rooms. Tom sighed as he looked up at Tord.

"Good night, Tord," he murmured, pursing his lips together.

Tord offered a single smile, leaning down and giving Tom a kiss on the nose. "Good night, kitten. I hope you sleep well."

With that, they separated. Tom walked to his own room, shutting the door behind him as he collapsed against his own bed. He looked around. For some reason, his room seemed foreign now.

He's spent far too much time with Tord.

He pulled his large blanket over him, wrapping it tightly around his shoulders as he started to shiver. He already missed Tord's warm body wrapped around his own.

He kinda already missed Tord.

It's been like one fucking minute, Tom.

Tom twisted and turned in bed for most of the night. He was too lonely to sleep.

Ugh. Fuck Tord.

woah!! i posted TWICE in ONE MONTH?! i think i might be dying!!!anyway i hope you enjoy the quick update lmao,,, i'm just like super fucking hyped because there's only eight more chapters of OFH left y'all,,, eight. eight fucking chapters... it's gonna give me a god damn existential crisis whoops lolbut yeah i'm sorry if i offended anybody with the daddy kink part i just honestly cannot take the daddy kink seriously lmaoo,,, i call one of my friends daddy (or daddy-kun, or Vati), and in return he calls me mommy (or mommy-chan, or Mutti), so I literally cannot take it seriously and i laugh my ass off whenever i see it in fics,, like it's deadass one of the funniest kinks out there to me

edit: I miscounted because I'm fucking stupid and there's not six left, there's eight