One afternoon, I was hanging out at Haruhi's house and we decided to go for a walk. 

   "See you later dad! Anna and I are going for a walk." Haru called as we were leaving the house. 

   "Okay be safe girls!" He called back.

   We walked down the stairs and reached the pavement, but seconds after we did, two pairs of arms wrapped around each of Haruhi's arms.

"Abduction-"

"Complete." Said two feminine voices. 

   The girls who were holding on to Haruhi were wearing a school uniform I recognized but didn't know what school it belonged to. Regardless, I wasn't about to put up with this.

   I placed a hand on each of the girls' shoulders and firmly held on,

   "Wrong. Let go," I told them menacingly. Once they did, I stood in between Haruhi and the two girls.

   As if on cue, a black car sped up and parked directly in front of us. The back window rolled down to reveal a third girl. She looked out and was surprised to see me, but then her confused expression turned into one of pure delight. 

   "Another maiden!" She exclaimed before getting out of the car, "Hello beautiful maiden!" She got extremely close to me in the same way that Tamaki did the first time we met. 

   I shook her off and narrowed my eyes, "You better explain who you are and what you want with Haru right now. I don't tolerate people mistreating my friends, especially strangers." I growled. 

   The girl that stepped out of the car, who I assumed was the group's leader, turned all princel- princessly,

   "Of course! I am Lady Benibara, this is Lady Suzuran, and this is Lady Hinagiku. We are known as the Zuku club of Lobelia Academy. And who are you, my lovely maiden?"

  "Zuku Club? Lobelia Academy? Where have I...? Oh! I've heard of you! Lobelia is that all girls academy. You guys are like the host club... except gayer." I remembered.

   Benibara's face scrunched up in disgust at the mention of the host club.

   "Oh let's not talk about that retched club, besides, you haven't answered my question. What is your name?"

   I crossed my arms,

   "You haven't answered my question either. What do you want with Haruhi?" I asked.

   "I would also like to know this," Haruhi said, now standing beside me. 

   "Why don't we go back to our headquarters to discuss this? After all, I wouldn't want you ladies to be uncomfortable out in the open like this." She offered. 

   I glanced at Haruhi and she shrugged in response. 

   "Why not I guess," I replied, shrugging. Worst comes to worst, I'll call the host club for help.

   "Wonderful!" All three of them exclaimed at once. 

   Suddenly, we were shoved in the back of the car. Before I could say anything to protest, the three girls were also in the back and the car was driving. 

   "So, my sweet maiden, care to tell me who you are now?" Benibara asked. 

   I rolled my eyes at the nickname sweet maiden,

   "Fine." I held out my hand to shake Benibara's, "Anna Volkov. The host club's designer and local artist. Nice to meet you." 

   As soon as I mentioned I was a part of the host club, Benibara did what I can only describe as going into her own Tamaki corner.

   "Not another one! She exclaimed. "That club has taken another beautiful maiden captive! Don't worry maiden, we'll save you from the arms of that dastardly Tamaki!" 

   "Save me?" I asked.

   "Of course! You could come to join us and that horrible club couldn't taint your innocence anymore." She offered, holding out her arm dramatically.

   "No thanks, dude. I think I'm good."  

   After the long ride of the three explaining how their club is all about putting on shows and making women happy, we finally arrived at Lobelia Academy. 

   There was an army of girls lined on either side of our path both screaming about how much they love the Zuka club and murmuring about Haruhi and me. One girl gave Benibara a lunch and Benibara pulled some grade A Tamaki bullshit, making the entire crowd go absolutely wild.

   Once we made it through the crowd, we were brought into what I assumed was their headquarters, Haruhi and I were shoved into separate changing rooms and given Lobelia Academy uniforms. 

   "Put these on! " ordered the Zuka member with long hair. 

   I shrugged and put on the red and white uniform before stepping out of the changing room. When I did, Benibara put her hand on her chest,

   "You look gorgeous maiden!" She exclaimed. "Yes, it looks as if it was designed just for you. Yes, it is most befitting for an innocent girl like you, unknowing of the taste of your first kiss.

   I was about to correct her, but Haruhi stepped out of her changing room and the three girls started fangirling over her.

   "Okay so explain why you wanted to kidnap Haruhi, and please give me the short version," I told them once they calmed down. 

   "Well, today is what we call Pink Day, a day where we put on a wonderful performance to celebrate the birthday of the founder of the White Lily Leauge. Unfortunate, our lead heroine got into an accident and can't perform. So, we wanted you, Haruhi, to play our heroine." Benibara said before all three girls struck a pose.

   "I can't," Haruhi replied instantly.

   The girls didn't move.

   "I must decline." She continued.

  Still, the girls stayed.

   "Sorry." Haruhi finished. 

   The girls didn't move for a few seconds before Benibara started to explain the role. Just as she did that, my phone started buzzing in my pocket, so I walked away from the group and checked it. It was a call from Tamaki. 

   "How's it going?" I answered. 

  "Don't worry! Daddy will come to save my little girls!" Tamaki exclaimed.

   "...what?" I asked.

   "I am on my way with Ranka-san and the host club to save you two. Ranka-san told us how you two were kidnapped by that awful Zuka club and we are coming to infiltrate their base and prevent them from making you two do anything scandalous!"

   "Tamaki put anyone else on the phone, please. Just for a moment." I told him.

   "Okay! You are on speaker phone now!" He told me.

  "Rad. Now anyone please explain what you're doing. " I told them.

   "Ranka-san saw you and Haruhi get into a car with the Zuka club and now he and Tamaki are convinced that they will make you two do something scandalous, like kiss someone. So now we are coming to take you back from the Zuka club I suppose." Kyoya explained.

  "Thank you, Yoyo. Now, normally I'd tell you not to do this Tamaki, but I have a feeling it's gonna be really funny. So yes please help us. They made us put on their school uniform and continue calling us maidens. Who knows what could happen if you don't save us soon?" I told them.

   "Not my adorable girls! Daddy is coming to save you, just hold on!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Okay, I gotta go. See you later boys, you too Ranka." I told them before hanging up the phone and giggling to myself.

   I walked back over to Haruhi and the Zuka club just in time for them to explain how important it is for Benibara to make her mother proud with the performance. 

   "Can I do it?" I asked, surprising Benibara, "Haruhi clearly doesn't want to and I mean it's important to you..." I told them, knowing that Haruhi would have agreed after the mother speech.

   Haruhi shot me a thankful smile.

   "Yes! Thank-you dear maiden! We are in your debt."

   I turned to Haruhi, suddenly remembering Tamaki,

   "Oh right! Haru, 'Daddy' wants you to know that he and the rest of them are coming to 'save' us." I informed her.

   "The host club is coming?" Asked Benibara. I nodded, "Wonderful! They can see your performance."   

 ~~~~~~~~~~~Oooooooooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   After I was given my lines and learned the song I was supposed to sing, it was time for us to rehearse. 

    "Ah, Marianne, how many thousands of nights that I prayed that I might see you?" Benibara was playing the prince character in the play. "How greatly I despised being told that we were from different social classes and the thousands of other obstacles in the way of our love."

  "Frederick-sama..." I tried to sound touched.

   Benibara then fell to the ground because of her "gunshot wound" and continued talking.

   Wow, she talks a lot for someone who's dying.

   I looked up while Benibara was doing her monologue thing and realized that I could see Tamaki, the twins, and Ranka looking through the window. 

   "Frederick-sama!" I said, sounding sad. Then I looked back at Tamaki, 'Where's Kyoya?'I mouthed. 

   Tamaki looked behind him for a second and then Kyoya rounded a pillar, leaned up against a wall, and waved at me.

   The monologue went on for a little while longer before it was my turn to sing. I stood up and winked at the boys, who seemed very interested in what I was going to do next. The music started up and I began singing.

   "I'm sure that the way things are going,
 nothing, no nothing
would be lost~" 

I watched Tamaki, the twins, and Kyoya's faces all go slightly pink.

   "Without you here, 
under the same sky as me,
give me a reason to go on living-"

   Just then, the music cut out. I turned to see that one of the girls had tripped over the cord and unplugged the player. Once I had turned back, the boys had left.

   We finished up the practice and the Zuka club took Haruhi and me to see the stage from the balcony. 

   The auditorium was huge. Because of that reason, it didn't surprise me to see the host club hiding in one of the rows. For some reason, Kyoya wasn't with them.

  I looked around and eventually found Kyoya in the tech booth in the back of the room. He was talking to what I assumed was a teacher. 

   "Well, almost time to curtain!" exclaimed Benibara suddenly, "We'll make this a great play! Now, let's get into costumes and makeup!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~wow does anyone even read this terribly inconsistent fanfic?~~~~~~~~~~~

   Turns out my costume was this terribly large, bright pink, puffy hoopskirt dress and a shitton of makeup. However, the dress didn't fit me, so they gave me a pretty rose gold gown that hugged my figure. I only let them put on very little makeup so I didn't look like a clown. I let them do my hair however they wanted and they ended up giving me two large braided pigtails. 

   I had to admit, I was having fun and I looked pretty good.

   I was placed on the stage after the room filled with people. It was mostly filled with girls either wearing the Lobelia uniform or a shirt that said Benibara. The host club was standing in the side aisle leaning up against the wall.  I looked up at the tech room and found Kyoya wasn't there. Then the lights turned on and the music began. I started singing. Halfway through my song, I glanced over at the host club. Tamaki looked about ready to storm up on stage and pull me off, so I winked at him. He relaxed and leaned against the wall to watch the rest of the show.

~~~~~~~~~ It's kinda hard to write this because when I started this fic I was straight~~~~~~~~~

   We finally got to the ending scene. 

   "Frederick-sama!" I exclaimed sadly while holding Benibara.

   I looked back up at the tech room to find Kyoya standing there overseeing the performance. We made eye contact for a moment before focusing back on Benibara.

   "And yet, my love for you and my vengeance towards him are things that can never be blotted out..." She trailed off and looked at the host club.

   Suddenly, three spotlights focused themselves on the six men. 

   I deadpanned, dropped Benibara on the ground, and stood up with an annoyed sigh.

   "Now why'd you have to go and do that? I happened to be having fun." I said, looking down on her.

   She smirked, stood up, and pulled me into her. 

   "I will steal your first kiss, right before his eyes." She said to me.

 I raised an eyebrow,

   "First kiss?" I asked almost hysterically. 

   "That will be my revenge." 

   The crowd erupted in girls telling Benibara not to kiss me. Tamaki ran towards us at full speed.

   "No! Absolutely no way will Daddy allow something so despicable!" He yelled. Right before he reached us, he slipped on a banana peel and the platform we were standing on started to rise.

   "You lose," Benibara told Tamaki, "I will steal this maiden's lips right in front of you."

   "Anna..." He gasped.

   I looked at Benibara who was hugging me tightly as the platform rose and giggled.

   I put my hand on her cheek and smiled as she made eye contact,

   "Go ahead... just be gentle..." I told her sweetly. 

   She put a hand on either side of my face and as she leaned in, she closed her eyes.

   "Nooo! Anna!" Sobbed Tamaki. 

   Just before our lips met, I put my hand in the way and started to laugh. 

   Surprised, Benibara opened her eyes and let go of me.

   "Did you really think... I would kiss you?" I laughed. "Let me tell you something, Mrs. Benio- actually I think you should listen to this too Tamaki." I said, leaning over to look at Tamaki, "Even if I had kissed you, that would, in no way, had been my first kiss. " I looked at the screen behind us, "Oh look at that! Proof!" 

   It was a picture of me kissing Kanako at the dance party.

   I looked back at Kyoya in the tech room and smiled at him before directing my attention back at Benibara,

   "You wouldn't have even been my first female kiss! Though I think that was in eighth grade..." I said trailing off.

   "But..." Benibara began.

   "And another thing!" I interrupted, suddenly serious, "I have a feeling if I hadn't have been there this morning, you would have pulled this shit on Haruhi! Now that is something I won't tolerate." I grabbed the front of Benibara's shirt and held her close to my face, "If you ever, EVER, lay a hand on Haru, I WILL make you regret it. Do you understand?" I asked through gritted teeth.

   She swallowed and nodded nervously. 

   I let go of her and smiled sweetly,

   "Great!" I exclaimed 

   I looked over the edge of the platform at the shook up Host club. Haruhi had joined the group sometime while I was threatening Benibara. 

   "Who wants to catch?" I asked before sitting down and dangling my feet off the edge.

   I waited for the group to get closer before jumping off.

   I felt a pair of arms catch me and opened my eyes. It was Mori.

   "Thanks, Mori," I told him. He nodded and let me down.

   I turned to an awe-stricken Benibara up on the platform,

   "Well, this has been a lot of fun Benibara! Hit me up next time you need an extra actor. Maybe next time you'll even get that kiss." I winked at her and walked off stage to change back into my regular clothes.

~~~~Nowadays I'm really fucking gay but I love this narrative too much to nix it~~~~~~~~~~~~

After I was finished changing and washing my face, I found Kyoya waiting for me outside the changerooms.

"Hey, baby." I greeted.

He sighed and cleared his throat.

"The angry audience kicked them out for ruining the show so I came to find you and escort you out before you get the same treatment." He told me.

I put my hand on my hip and peered up at him,

"Is that so? Hey Kyoya, how'd you like me in that dress?"

   He raised an eyebrow, "Why."

"Oh, you know. Just cause you actually came here because you wanted to help me out of it." I winked at him. 

   "I was just coming to save you from the audience of girls, I assure you." He told me, slightly blushing. 

   I smiled, 

   "Such a gentleman. Okay babe, let's go." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~You guys are lucky this lesbian like to write fanfiction~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Once we got out of the school, the host club, excluding Ranka and Haruhi were waiting for us.

   "Hey, guys, what'd you think?" I asked.

   Tamaki put both his hands on my shoulders,

   "You almost kissed her! She almost got my poor little girl's innocence!" He accused before pulling me into a hug.

 I looked helplessly at Karou and Hikaru as they laughed at us.

"Oh my god, it's like I'd have to fuck him to make him understand," I mumbled.

   "What, Anna?" Tamaki asked, letting go of me.

   "Nothing!"