i finished writing the letters and i go to the top of the mountain.

i look down and there is a river underneath of this.

as i am about to jump, i get a call from him.

maybe it's a sign.

'what the hell is this letter?'

'i gave one to all the people i let down.'

'let down? what do you mean? you are my everything in life,'

'why did you leave me then? i love you.'

'i didn't think you were happy with me. i thought you would be tired of my shit by now, and i didn't want to put you through it anymore.'

'and your wife?'

'ran away with another guy the night of our wedding. she was drunk and she's not a good drunk. they went to vegas and sent me a postcard.'

'why would you think i wasn't happy? i was happiest when i was with you.'

'we were seventeen when we started. we are now 26 it's been nine years. nine years of me cheating, fighting, leaving, hitting and all you ever do is let me back. you are the angel in my life. you are the only who puts up with the shit. i love you.'

i'm crying by now and even after he said that, i still want to jump.

'i love you. but you aren't here to catch me when i fall.'

'no. ple-'

i dropped the phone and jumped.