Author notes at the end

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Taehyung woke up to the feeling of blood rushing to his head and something hard pressed against the top of his thighs and groin. He blinked a few times and saw his teardrop pendent dangling before his eyes - while his nose kept bumping into a wall of... Muscles?

No, not a wall.

A back.

Gravity pulled his gaze downward where he found his drooped hands hanging over a moving dirt pathway.

After that, It didn't take him long to figure out that he was now outside and slung over a shoulder, with a large vice-like hand perched on his ass holding him secure.

Despite the seriousness of the situation in progress, he felt his cheeks heat up.

He hadn't been manhandled like this in a long time.

Not since he was 21 and had made the mistake of taking the Subway to work at peak hour. Long story short, he ended up squished between the train wall and a man who'd decided to play 'Pop goes the weasel' with his junk.

Drowsily, Taehyung tried to raise his head but stilled when he heard a familiar voice.

"You're going to have to get rid of that thing on your cheek before Hyung sees it, Jimin."

Taehyung's mouth popped open.

Don't tell me...

"Yoongi, please educate yourself. That thing you refer to is called a Blue Morpho Butterfly and it's native to the tapioca forests of Lantern Anorexia from Magic glow to Cornucopia. The paintbrush lady said so."

"I thought she said it was the tropical forests of Latin America from Mexico to Colombia?"

"Hobi~ Those don't even sound like real names of real places! America? Who in their right mind would ever name a place that?"

The Pixies.

Taehyung silently groaned in realisation. His mind transporting him back to the moment his brother pushed him through the mirror.

Curse you, Kim Namjoon.

Very slowly, so as to not alert anyone of his wakefulness - Taehyung looked at his surroundings. They were walking through a clearing. A secluded part of a forest that seemed like it had been previously lived in for a while but had since been abandoned. Taehyung noticed there was remnants of cut firewood left in random piles on one side, a few cracked wooden bowls littered along the overgrown grass and an old cart that only had one wheel.

Taehyung had no idea where he was but the Pixies strode through the area like they were familiar with it, or had a specific destination in mind.

But where?

He didn't have to wait long for the answer.

"Do you think Hyung will be at the Three Bears cottage waiting for us?" Yoongi asked.

"I guess so," Hoseok chimed. "He told us if we got separated after the breakout to meet him there but there's a chance he could've gone back to the Swamp to gather the others."

"What about the Queen?" Jimin worried his lip as he looked between them. "Do you think she's going to be mad at us?"

Taehyung repressed a squeak as Hoseok shrugged, inadvertently bouncing him on his shoulder like a ragdoll. "It's okay, we've still got time to capture the Prince, but we've got to bring Hyung the wizard first."

Hoseok gave Taehyung's butt a gentle pat and shot his brothers a winning smile. Meanwhile, Taehyung's fist was against his mouth, his face was aflame and his ass was on FIRE!

The super-sized Pixies pat felt like someone had roundhoused him with their palm.

Jimin made a sound of excitement. "Bogum Hyung is going to be so happy when he hears of the amazing new land we discovered!"

Yoongi nodded. "As soon as we get to the cottage lets start torturing the wizard for information," he suggested and Jimin squealed.

"Great idea, another thing Hyung will be happy about!" he remarked as Taehyung frowned with unease.

Who was this wizard person they keep mentioning?

"I brought Hyung back a present. Want to see it?" Yoongi asked, then lifted his hands up, cradling something carefully in his palm as the others looked at it.

"I took it from the wizards brothers room," he continued. "I think Hyung will like it."

Something told Taehyung to look too so he quirked his head - regretting the decision as soon as it was made when he caught sight of what the Pixie was holding.

A small jiggly stress ball in the shape of a boob. It was a gag gift his brother had received from one of his co-workers last Christmas.

And that's when it dawned.

The wizards brother was Namjoon, which means that he was the wizard they were intending on torturing!?

As all kinds of terrifying scenarios ran through his mind, Taehyung helplessly flopped back down and squeezed his eyes shut, uttering quietly into the Pixies back.

"Curse you, Kim Namjoon."

Approximately an hour after Namjoon and Seokjin had been locked in the evil Queen's cell, the steel door had swung open to reveal two wardens. They'd taken one look at the pair before lunging and dragging them off to another part of the prison. Namjoon had argued the whole way but they ignored him, hauling them through multiple hallways and stairwells before tossing them into a room with a large wooden door.

There, they were faced with a large stocky man who sat at a heavy-set desk.

And the man looked pissed.

Actually, scratch that, he looked like he was a hairbreadth away from murdering everyone in the room.

"It was some kind of spell, Sir," one of the wardens spoke solemnly. "We've been laid out for a day at least, maybe two."

The man's jaw clenched as he lowered his eyes at the warden who'd spoken.

"What of the Queen?" he bit out, and the warden hesitated so his colleague spoke up for him.

"The men have searched every inch of the prison but the Queen is gone, Sir."

"HOW THE FURIES COULD THIS HAPPEN!?" the man blared, making everyone - including Seokjin - jump.

"We don't know, Sir," The first wardens gaze dropped to the floor. "When we got to her cell it was locked and she was gone."

The man stared at both men with a wild look in his eyes. There was a large vein pulsing in his neck that looked like it was going to pop.

"So what you're telling me, Chanyeol and Zelo. Is that our most dangerous prisoner just vanished out of her cell into thin air?"

"Actually, Sir..." Zelo flicked his eyes at Namjoon. "We found this man inside the cell with her dog."

The man finally trained his eyes on Namjoon then. An even darker shadow passing over his face as he surveyed the newcomer.

"I am called Top," he began. "And I have been the head warden of this prison for twelve years. No one has ever escaped."

Namjoon cleared his throat, displaying his best fake smile. "That's... a very impressive record."

"Whatever you do don't tell him I'm a dog." Seokjin said from beside him.

"Why not?" Namjoon asked.

"Speak when you are spoken to!" Top snapped.

"Because the Queen has got some terrible plan," Seokjin told him. "My whole kingdom may be jeopardy. No one must know I'm helpless."

Top stood up and cracked his knuckles. "Where is the Queen?"

Namjoon licked his lips, gulping at the menacing action.

How was he supposed to know where she was? He'd never even met her!

He shut his eyes tight. "I wish I was home. I wish Taehyung and I were back in our apartment in Seoul, now!"

Namjoon counted to five then opened his eyes only to find the Top staring back at him, unimpressed.

"Well," he drawled, "It seems you're still here aren't you."

Namjoon opened his mouth to respond but instead of words he felt an overwhelming urge to vomit. He pitched forward and retched violently, until eventually, a shrivelled up black husk flew out of his mouth and bounced across the wardens' desk.

"Oh, no Namjoon, You didn't swallow a magic-dung bean, did you? You moron!"

Namjoon groaned as the pain ebbed away. "Guess that means I've had all my wishes." he muttered to himself.

Top flicked the fizzing husk into the nearby garbage, before asking in a dangerously low tone, "How did the Queen escape?"

"No clue..."

"Why were you found locked in her cell?"

Namjoon's eyes rounded. "I didn't release her," he said. "I'm the innocent victim here, I've never had run ins with the law my whole life."

"Then why are you wearing handcuffs?"

"Because I'm wanted for armed robbery," Namjoon responded bluntly then quickly added, "But I didn't have anything to do with that, either!"

Seokjin sighed then lay on the floor putting his chin on his paws. "Oh do carry on. You're doing spectacularly well so far."

Namjoon whipped his head to Seokjin then back at the warden. "You want the truth?" he asked, trying a different tact. "I've come here from a different dimension, led by this dog, who is actually Prince Seokjin."

Seokjin's head shot up. "Argh! I told you not to say that!"

Top raised a brow. "Prince... Seokjin?" he asked, then looked at Seokjin before lifting his eyes once more to Namjoon and growling.

"I could make you break rocks with your teeth for a hundred years." he threatened.

"It's the truth," he said. "I swear."

Top put his palms on his desk then leaned towards him. "That is the Queens dog," the warden snipped. "She has been permitted to keep him in her cell. Don't insult my intelligence."

"It's Prince Seokjin!" Namjoon exclaimed. "Look, I'll show you!"

He looked at him. "Bark once if I'm telling the truth." he directed, and the Prince lowered his chin back onto his paws.

"I have no intention of barking for you, Namjoon." he said, and Namjoon almost stomped a foot with frustration.

"He's just being so stubborn!" he said, then turned back to the warden.

"You have to set me free." His eyes were pleading. "I think my brother has been abducted by Pixies-"

"ENOUGH!" Top boomed. "I'll have the truth out of you soon enough. Chanyeol-" He waved over the first warden, "-remove his handcuffs, issue him a prison uniform, and put him in cell ninety four with Woozi the dwarf and D.O the goblin."

"Goblin!?" Namjoon cried.

"What about the Queens dog, Sir?" Zelo asked, stepping forward as Chanyeol dealt with a reluctant Namjoon and Seokjin sat up.

"Get the furnace going," Top replied. "I'll slip some rat poison in his dinner tonight and we'll chuck him in the incinerator tomorrow."

Seokjin gasped, sidling back until his butt hit the wall. "Did you hear that? Did you hear that, Namjoon? Poison. You have to get me out of here. It's your duty."

Namjoon struggled against Chanyeol but it was no use. The only thing he could do was look over his shoulder at the fearful Prince with wide eyes as he was yanked out the door.

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Quiz - Did you catch the song reference?

Zelo (B.A.P) - the second warden
T.O.P (Big Bang) - the head warden
Woozi (Stray kids) - The dwarf soon to be roommate
D.O (Exo) - The goblin soon to be roommate

Haven't had a few cameos in a while 😀
Hope everyone's doing OK?

Any questions feel free!

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Summary for the the title fairytale...

Moving Day ~ Hans Christian Andersen

Remember Death's great Moving Day!
"It is a serious thought, but I hope it is not disagreeable to you to hear about it. Death is the most faithful administrator after all, in spite of his many petty duties. Have you ever thought about them?
Death is a bus conductor; he is a passport writer; he signs his name to our references; and he is the director of life's great savings bank. Do you understand that? All our earthly deeds, great and small, are deposited in that savings bank. Then, when Death comes with his Moving Day bus, and we have to get in to be driven to eternity, he gives us our references on the frontier as a passport. For our expense money on the journey he draws from the savings bank one of our deeds, whichever of them most distinctly characterizes our conduct; this may be very pleasant to us, or it may be very horrible!

|Named for Taehyung, Namjoon & Seokjin's unwanted moves |